Chapter 5: Conflict and meeting
Laughter was sounding as the two little longnecks played to their heart's content, chasing each other back to fro and wrestling on the ground in tease fights. Eventually, they were tired from their games, resting in the shade of a large tree and reflecting on the day in the late afternoon sun.
"That was so much fun," the pink coloured girl spoke with a content smile, her male purple-brown-ish counterpart nodding eagerly.
"You bet, Ali, you bet," the boy laughed, their tails touching.
"I like you, Littlefoot," the girl spoke with a shy smile, inching closer to the boy.
"Me too," the boy replied, blushing slightly as his friend inched even closer until she was leaning against him smiling contently.
"Ali, wake up sleepyhead!"
The scene changed abruptly, the face of the handsome boy being replaced by that of her mother pushing her awake impatiently.
"I am awake..." Ali sighed as she groggily uncurled her extremities, stretching her limbs while trying to hold on onto the dream she'd just had. But her mother wouldn't let her.
"Have a quick meal and wash yourself, Ali. We have a meeting to attend - yes, you as well."
Ali's expression went from groggy to confused to annoyed faster than a fastrunner could run.
"Wait, why do I need to attend some stupid meeting that goes on for hours and in the end everyone agrees with Old One anyway?"
"You have to," her mother stated simply. It was a rule after all and in this herd rules were best not to be broken.
"Well, I don't want to!" Ali complained. Meetings were no fun, not that she had anything better to do but going about her usual ways at least gave her some freedom.
"Whether you go or not is not for you to decide, Ali," her mother spoke in a calm but agitated tone. "What do you think would happen to the herd if everyone did as they pleased?"
"They would be happy..." Ali muttered quietly.
"Chaos, Ali, chaos," her mother explained with dramatic gestures. "What if the Old One made an important decision - a new rule perhaps, and you are not aware of it? Surely, you should know what that means, my daughter..."
"No need to remind me, mum," Ali groaned, getting ever so annoyed. She'd already been reminded of her harsh punishment after her adventure with Littlefoot long ago… enough was enough!
"That's right, now stand still, your face is all dirty..."
Reluctantly, Ali endured the procedure but her mother did so painfully meticulous. At some point, Ali had enough.
"Cut it out already, it's clean now!"
"It's not clean enough yet," the grown-up replied casually. "You want to look nice so Old One approves of you."
"I couldn't care less about that, you know?"
"How dare you, Ali!" Now the tone changed drastically. "It is bad behavior to attend a meeting dirty. Do you want everyone to think of you as a dirty girl with no manners?"
"Hrm..." the child grunted.
"Girls who aren't looking nice don't get attention from the males either," her mother warned but little did Ali care.
"Yeah... like there are any boys my age in this herd... don't be ridiculous mum..." Ali rolled her eyes. "Besides, I don't need to look nice for boys, I already made my choice long ago!"
"Oh, like a little child like you understands that kind of thing at that age, you are being the ridiculous one here!" The adult glared at her daughter. "You know as well as me that you won't be seeing this Great Valley boy again, forget him already..."
"Will not!" Ali retorted. "That's my decision, not yours..."
"Ali, stop being naughty!" her mother warned but Ali finally had enough of this.
"Leave me alone!"
"No, I will most certainly not!" the adult retorted fiercely. "Don't make me report your bad manners to our glorious leader... you would regret that."
"Bla Bla Bla..." Ali sighed. "That never worked on me you know mum?"
"Young lady, don't you dare..." Her mother was now fully agitated, lowering her voice in a threatening manner.
"Is that all?" Ali wondered in a bored manner.
"Ali, come on! Can't you just be obedient like you used to be?!"
"Nay!"
"Ali!"
"I'm SICK of it, mum!"
"Nobody cares, you are to follow our herd's rules and that's final!" The grown up was panting in anger now.
"Well, try and make me," Ali challenged, almost playfully.
"YOU ATTEND THAT MEETING NOW!" The adult was fuming. "Don't you dare, Ali..."
The girl faked a yawn.
"ALI!" her mother yelled.
"This herd is BOOOOOOOORING!" Ali screamed back." I wanna have FUN! And I won't let you spoil it! Seeya!" Ali started running towards a nearby forest.
"YOU STAY WHERE YOU ARE, YOUNG LADY!" the female thundered but Ali merely waved her tail.
"Catch me if you can!"
"ALI! This will have consequences!" her mother threatened in a last attempt to dissuade the child from leaving. But Ali had already disappeared into the thick foliage.
"That girl, what is she thinking?!"Sighing, the grown up took a deep breath before she went to attend the meeting alone.
When the Bright Circle rose over the wide clearing which was the designated place to gather for meetings and other important meetups, Ali's mother was still fuming over her daughter's behavior. Why couldn't the girl just do as she was told? She herself wasn't always happy with how Ali had to grow up but it was the best for her as this herd provided her with all the safety and life experiences she'd need to survive on her own one day. Sure, a sheltered life in the Great Valley which Ali, or so she assumed, was dreaming of, was nice but if it came down to survival, the girl would be helpless if she never learned the ways of the barren lands. Although she didn't always agree with her leader, the Old One, who was surveying the crowd to assess the participation of the meeting, a strong longneck like her at the top of the herd meant stability and safety for Ali as well as her. If only the girl came to appreciate these values…
"Ahem!"
The chit-chat of the assembled longnecks quickly ceased as their leader cleared her throat with remarkable effect. The dinosaurs standing loosely scattered in small groups quickly formed a perfect semi-circle into which the old dinosaur walked with sublime steps.
"Good morning," she spoke dryly, her gaze wandering through the ranks.
A chorus of sleepy "good mornings" sounded through the forest.
"I know many of you would have preferred this meeting to be held a little later, including myself, but does it not seem appropriate to do so when the very reason for holding it is also the reason why we can't seem to sleep through the night anymore?" And so Old One began her monotonous monologue. "Fellow longnecks, there is a reason why our sleep is weak and our tempers short. It is the sleep stories. I still remember the day when I first had this specific type that is haunting me ever since with a striking recitation. Certainly, one could classify it as a nightmare, however it hardly came with the usual side effects. Normally, one would expect a sleep story of the nightmare-ish sort to leave oneself in a state of fright, shock and uneasiness. Normally as well, one would be able to calm their nerves and go back to their slumber rather quickly. However, what I experience each night differs from this archetype in a significant manner."
Come to think of it, Ali's mother could really understand why the girl hated it so much to attend these meetings. Old One's way of talking truly was hard to follow even for an adult like her.
"Quite amazingly, I find that, instead of the aforementioned effects, something else, a very different collection of emotions, takes hold of me, rendering me incapable of shaking them off for hours on some nights. There is a deep longing I cannot place, a place, so far away that it seems ridiculous, and yet… I feel an urge to be there. I have received words from many that similar emotions well up in you, fellow longnecks. Just to confirm, is everyone affected or are there any exceptions?"
A murmur spread through the crowd, Old One's gaze surveying the reactions carefully.
"Very well, so I was correct to call this meetings as the majority, if not everyone, is suffering from this disaster." The old dinosaur sighed contently. "It truly nags on not just my mind that I am unable to rest, even during daytime. While you have gone about your daily life, I have been investigating this outrageous phenomenon. First of all, one can state without a doubt that this is a systemic phenomenon. My findings indicate that every longneck, both the young and the old, are affected. In order to learn more, I shared my knowledge with a flyer, requesting a survey about other… kinds. Surely, I would like to do something about this if it is in my range of abilities. In this special case, knowledge is the key to success. Discovering the cause is my prime goal!" The herd leader waited for a few moments until the uprising unrest in the crowd settled down again.
"So what did I learn? The flyer reported back to me after observing several herds and his findings are very valuable for our cause. Certainly, I was also pondering if, perhaps for some unknown reason this was like a disease contagious in nature, only affecting our herd. Moreover, the fact that this phenomenon began to occur for everyone around the same time fails to back up this particular theory but I needed an answer without any doubt left floating around." Old One briefly interrupted her speech and took a deep breath. "One herd was mixed in nature. Why a sane dinosaur would agree to such measures is beyond my comprehension but that is not the point at the moment. So, why that herd was of interest is because a group of longnecks was a part of it. Those longnecks also showed the same signs of unrest during sleep as has occurred in our herd so it is likely and reasonable to assume that it is not limited to our very herd. In other words: All longnecks are affected."
This time, it took a little longer until the gossip within the assembled longnecks died down. Old One listened carefully and patiently.
"As such," she eventually resumed," one also needs to mention that no other species was showing these signs. Now, I do not intend to raise any conspiracies but this truly is suspicious to say the least. Then again, nobody knows the cause. Unless I know the cause, I am left without anything but my suspicions. Anyway, until we know of a cure, we should focus on limiting the damage. Even worse than the loss of sleep is my inability to settle down, my constant restlessness."
As the old female was being reminded of her desire to follow this dubious feeling floating in the air all the time, her gaze wandered to a nearby mountain chain for a short moment. They had discovered this place being quite hospitable from up there, dwelling there for quite some time since two young females would become mothers very soon. The place was about the size of the Great Valley, though it was in reach of Sharpteeth and offered less food and water. As long as there was enough food to last, so the Old One had decided, they'd stay until the little ones could walk on their own. She gazed for any possible threats - an important thing to do being the leader of a herd and a role the Old One was more than willing to take due to being born over-cautious and apprehensive. Since she didn't spot any possible threats, she continued.
"Another finding that one needs to address: That flyer also reported to me to have seen several groups of our kind of various sizes heading towards a certain direction and it matches the direction my instincts are telling me to journey… Does that mean longnecks far and wide are all going on a journey into the unknown?"
A journey into the unknown that everybody was taking. Slowly but surely Ali's mother began to suspect that Ali understood these dreams far better than she herself did. But could they just walk into the blind? Knowing Old One, that was the least she would do.
"I am puzzling what the sleepstory is trying to tell me, to tell us longnecks. Everyone is having the same one so explaining mine is a futile waste of time. But let me tell you, I absolutely do not know what it means that I see myself floating through the air, that I seem to follow a crowd blindly each time and that it always ends with our glorious Bright Circle disappearing in a dramatic fashion. I am having my doubts. Fishy, if you ask me. What would cause every longneck to gather at one place? What purpose would that serve? Our reasons for migrating are and have always been to survive. Our survival here is granted for a fair while - at least long enough for the eggs to see the light of this world, so I do not see any reason to move on prematurely. However, we do not know what's behind all of this. It could be important, that is what my mind is trying to tell me all the time yet it clashes with what I consider safe, what I consider right and good for the herd. In other words…" Now she raised her voice," In other words, it is a decision that we need to do as a herd. It is too much of an uncertainty for me to make a decision because the consequences are beyond my grasp. Therefore, fellow, longnecks, let us vote on the matter. The usual rules apply. I shall vote to stay here so those who think likewise may move over to where I am standing. Those who believe it is right to go, please move to the opposite side of this clearing. Indecisive ones, just position yourselves somewhere inbetween. Alright, let the vote commence!"
In the following, chaos completely destroyed the perfect semi-circle of longnecks, dinosaurs walking back and forth in order to let their opinion be heard or, in this case, seen. Some did not head to either side immediately, still in the process of making up their minds. One of those was Ali's mother who was still processing the possible outcomes of either situation.
"What is best for Ali?" What exactly was? Ali had been extremely unhappy as of late and of course that hadn't slipped past her. It finally came to bite her this previous morning and who knew what the girl was really thinking. She highly doubted it was out of spite that she was being so defiant and grumpy but she also doubted that she was happy about her very own behavior. But what she had done and said was what's best for her survival. She knew Ali would want to go in the slim hope of seeing that boy again but what would it give if they perished halfway there? Ali absolutely had to be safe no matter what!
"I will go with Old One on that one, seems to be the majority anyway. Thankfully…"
Much to her relief, the vote leaned majorly towards staying where they were. Old One seemed pleased with the result and soon called the meeting off. Though relieved, the female still had many things on her mind as she strolled back towards her nest...
I was hoping to squeeze this one out a little earlier, oh well.
This chapter is still covering old chapter 2. Ali's fight with her mother was terribly written imho. Now the flow is better. I still kept some of the dialogue as it was still quite intense already back then.
The dream sequence at the beginning was hopefully a nice introduction and also a request by a reader. I may add these infrequently here and there :)
Old One's part was heavily edited and most of the meeting was written from scratch completely. But some paragraphs were still reimplemented. I completely reworked her and gave Old One a distinct style of speech (a pain, folks, a pain :P). As a result, this ended up being a monologue of her talking for the most part so I tried to break it up with short sequences of Ali's mother. This is an addition the original didn't have. Ali's mother also originally voted to go on the journey but I changed that to increase the conflict between mother and daughter and increase the room for character development.
That's it from me, next chapter will be released in two weeks when I get back from a vacation :)
Guest chapter 5 . Sep 22
"Where do I begin, you've managed to develop both of these characters beyond their counterparts in the original iteration in the span of a single chapter. Excellent work! As I have stated in the past I'm not a fan of Bron due to his decision inadvertently causing the death of his mate and abandoning Littlefoot in favor of his herd shortly after finding him in the original continuity. Taking this into account, it's good to see genuine remorse from him. As opposed to the film where he explained his backstory only for it to be quickly brushed aside with no repercussions. While I wouldn't say he's father of the year material by any stretch of the imagination, you've done a lot to humanize him here and I commend you for that. Although I still hold some mistrust for him, Bron in this one chapter is better than he's ever been in the films. Was the stranger that told him about his mate's death Rooter by any chance? That would be some good continuity with the first film.
As for Shorty and the hatchlings, you've managed to make him a more well rounded character than in SDP1 while still foreshadowing his past and underlying dark nature. Cho, assuming you keep her name from the first iteration, being too young to speak is something I didn't see coming and I wonder how the age disparity will influence Shory's actions and her relationship with Ali later on.
Eagerly awaiting Ali's return in the next chapter. Try to overcome your shyness and let your voice be heard best girl. Knowing what's coming from the last iteration, I'm concerned about how Old One will respond."
Many do not like Bron for mostly the reasons you just stated. I'm not quite as harsh on him personally but I'm also not too fond of his actions. It's just one of those things... it doesn't really sound very smart but it's written that way in order for the plot to work, to explain why Bron (who wasn't considered to be part of Littlefoot's family originally) wasn't around when Littlefoot was even more little :P
Certainly, Bron will continue to regret and struggle with his decisions of the past way beyond of what you've seen in the original story, possibly. Don't have a layout for many things that occur later on but hopefully I can find some time to plan further ahead soon :)
Rooter? Who knows. The film never specified that and thus I left it just as vague. But why not? It has no importance for the story but feel free to believe that :)
Don't worry, I will keep Cho's name. I still suck at naming characters and Cho has become really iconic for me so I guess I'd better keep it. (On that note, I will also keep the name of Ali's mother even if it's totally non-LBT-ish). And yeah, Cho as a character got developed as the story progressed, she wasn't part of the very first draft I had. Thus, I now already know she'll be there and thus gave her a camo :) Shorty is about the age of Littlefoot in the first movie btw. I believe that a few years have passed since then. Many assume LF to be around 5 years old in LBT 1 so I guess maybe 3-5 years have passed since then? Which would make Cho between 4-6 years old. As you should know as an avid reader of the original story, Cho acts a little more mature than that though. But let's not spoil anything for those who read this the first time. Great stuff to come folks ;)
Actually, Ali won't go up against Old One. You were guessing right though about what was coming in this chapter. While not facing Old One, running off like that will bring Ali into more trouble as you can probably tell :P
Oh, and almost forgot. Thanks for the review!
The Rhombus chapter 5 . Sep 26
"This chapter did a far superior job of introducing the Bron / Shorty relationship than the original incarnation of this story. Though Shorty is still standoffish and Bron is still distant, we can see the need in both of them to find someone else to care for and to be cared for in return. For Bron part of this drive comes from a need to find his son that he believes to possibly be lost forever, whereas for Shorty it comes from a need to find the loving father he never had. In the end we are left with two broken dinosaurs who have found one another and, along the way, have found that they perhaps have more in common than they suspected. Though certain plot points that were held in reserve in the first story are being told earlier in this case, I think that actually works better here. We get to more immediately see what has driven Shorty's actions and to relate to him in a more relatable manner.
Besides the improvement in character development and narrative in this installment versus the older story I must also applaud you on the improvement in prose. In much the same manner as the original Shorty's Dark Past had superior writing to your first story, this revised SDP shows a skill with the English language that is much improved over the original. The dialogue feels much more natural and fits the characters in a much more individualized fashion.
All in all this story is moving along very nicely and I look forward to seeing how things develop from here. :)"
Thank you very much for this review! :D
You have captured their situation accurately, yep yep yep! I do not think I revealed significantly more than in the original. Shorty was talking about his father there as well.
Your compliment about my writing skills really honours me. My main issue has always been writing style and the focus on dialogue. I still mainly use dialogue (unlike you who relies on thoughts a lot) but I suppose I've become more eloquent in doing so :) . The chapter I just uploaded above should be a good example of what I can pull off if I try hard xD