AN: Hi All! Thanks for sticking around!

Much gratitude to all who read, follow, fave, and review this, especially, DxGrayxMan, catgrl, Hmz0975, and JazzzaBelle, for their reviews last chapter!

*Warning, this chapter contains an Intersex love scene at the end. It's brief and easy to skip if it bothers you, but I honestly hope it doesn't.*

Okay, so, I'm doing something pretty difficult for me in this chapter.

I'm going to write this one from Edward's POV.

Not because any part of me agrees with him. But because it would be hypocritical to ask bigots to put themselves in the shoes of the people they judge if I am not willing to put myself in theirs.

So, here goes nothin'!

Chapter Five: The Transformative Power of Love

Edward's POV

I upset Bella. I can't help but feel bad about that.

I didn't know she was a bisexual.

My beliefs may be archaic, but I was born into a much different time.

People nowadays have a hard time understanding people like me. To me, these modern ways of living are sinful.

In my time, if I had brought Alice (who certainly cannot help the physical body she was born into) home to meet my parents and they had learned of her birth defect…

I would have been ostracized as a sodomite and she would have been sent off to join the circus or shipped away to an asylum or some other awful thing.

But Alice is a woman. Alice doesn't remember much from her human life, hardly anything. But she remembers menstruating. Which means she is a biological female. This also means that my relationship with her is not sinful.

And so, I do my best to ignore the defect. It's no reflection of her as a person.

It gets in the way a bit when we are trying to be intimate. I try not to look at it. I definitely don't touch it.

Every once in a while I find myself getting...aroused by it. At those times, I feel very self-conscious because it is, by nature, a male appendage. But then I remember that it is a part of Alice, who I find very arousing as a person, so that is the only reason.

It is not as though I have ever given in to any sort of...unnatural desires.

When Jasper and Alice first moved in with us, I was very worried that he would try to get me to engage in abhorrent behaviors.

I was relieved to learn that he had a "mate" out there somewhere and was not looking to corrupt anyone else.

I used to have a lot of thoughts that were very concerning to me when I was a young vampire and I suppose I did when I was human as well.

I was always able to push them aside though, at least, almost always.

I still have unnatural thoughts sometimes, but I think that simply has to do with the prevalence of such ideas in society nowadays.

Corruption is everywhere and it's hard to guard against that.

Presently, it would seem I have gotten so lost in my thoughts, I don't even notice that Bella, who is a vampire now, is currently storming up to me with a Bible in her hands.

"Show me, Edward. Show me why your beliefs give you a license to act this way. I know very little about your Bible, so...show me." She insists, thrusting it into my hands.

"I'm sorry? I'm not exactly clear on what specifically you want me to show you. Are you referring to the passages that speak against homosexuality? Because there are several, Bella." I state, seeking clarification. Being unable to read her mind is very frustrating.

"No, Edward." She sighs dramatically. "I want you to show me the part where it says that in order to be a good Christian, you need to treat other 'sinners' like garbage because of their lifestyle."

I pause for a moment in order to maintain my decorum.

"I can't, Bella. Obviously, it doesn't say that you should ever treat anyone like garbage." I sigh. "But I am fairly certain you realize that?"

"Okay...great. So then why do you?" She insists.

"You feel I have treated you like garbage, Bella? Isn't that a bit extreme?" I puzzle.

She rolls her eyes. "No, Edward. But from all accounts, you have been treating Jasper and Peter like garbage. Ever since you have known them."

Her words give me pause.

But she isn't right and I need to tell her so. "Bella, I haven't been treating them like garbage. I have allowed Jasper to pretend that Alice is his wife so that no one will know what he is and harm him because of it."

"Why? You obviously don't care if anyone hurts him." She frowns crossing her arms.

"Yes, I do, Bella. Otherwise, I wouldn't have provided him with a cover story in the first place." I remind her.

"But Edward...you are the only one who is harming him right now and you have been for a long, long time."

I grumble. "That's nonsense, Bella. You cannot tell me that my beliefs harm Jasper. They are my beliefs. I haven't tried to change his way of thinking."

"Edward...it isn't your beliefs per se that are harming him. Your words and your attitude toward him and Peter are what hurts him." She tells me.

I scoff. "Now, now, Bella. Haven't you heard the old adage 'Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.'?"

"I have." She nods. "But I have also heard the phrases 'stinging rebuke' and 'the pen is mightier than the sword.' Edward, even you can't deny that words have power. Be honest. Haven't you ever been hurt by someone else's words?"

I think back to all of the times where I was forced to hear terrible, derogatory, abusive language hurled at my Alice.

And I realize…

Jasper must feel the same way Alice did.

And that means that in Jasper's world…

I'm the bully.

"Look, Bella...I see what you're trying to do here. Really I do. But none of this changes the fact that it is wrong for a man to lie with another man." I sigh, though my argument feels a little emptier than it used to.

"Edward...let's pretend for the sake of argument, that you're right about that. Perhaps they are doing something wrong. You know I don't believe that, of course, but hey, let's pretend I'm wrong and you are right." She pauses and looks me dead in the eyes.

"Isn't that between them and God? Is it really your job to try and change their behavior? Aren't you mandated to love them anyway?" She asks each question slowly, forcing me to really think about it.

And when I do…

When I really weigh my knowledge of my own faith and examine it, I realize…

The New Testament is full of stories of Jesus loving people who the religious leaders of the time felt he had no business going near. They believed that as a rabbi, he needed to keep himself pure. And yet…

He was out there touching lepers and dining with tax collectors and befriending women of ill repute etc. he never discriminated against anyone. He challenged their thinking sometimes, but more often than not, it was the religious leaders he challenged the most.

The faithful.

He challenged the faithful because they had a tendency to view themselves as better than others because of their faith and their clean living. They tended to feel superior.

And if I am honest...that is exactly what I have been doing to Jasper and Peter.

"Bella, I think I need to go handle something. You've given me a lot to think about. Thank you. I'll see you later." I nod and swiftly head off to find Jasper.

When I do, he is by himself in the backyard, strumming his guitar. He stops playing when I walk up and for a moment, he contemplates leaving.

"Please, stay." I insist.

He settles back into his chair.

I can tell from his thoughts that my emotions are confusing him, so I speak right away.

"You must really think I hate you. The way I've been acting."

Jasper chuckles softly.

"No, Edward. I don't think you hate me. I think you hate yourself and take it out on me."

I think about that for a moment.

"Yeah. You're probably right." I nod, slowly.

I want to ask him something.

"Jasper, did you ever hate yourself?"

He looks at me and I know by his thoughts that he is reliving his own past pain but also feeling mine.

"Of course I did. Most gay men go through a period of self-loathing. Less so maybe nowadays as society becomes gradually more accepting, but back then? Shit yeah." He grins.

"How did you stop feeling that way?" I ask.

Jasper ponders a moment.

"Well, to be honest, it still crops up from time to time, but mostly, I just try to focus on the simple truth that God made me this way. And I honestly don't think he would have done that if he genuinely didn't approve."

I consider that. Truly consider it.

Maybe he's right.

The Bible is divinely inspired but it was penned by man, translated by man, reprinted by man. And man can make mistakes.

If you need proof of that, just look at how many I've made.

"You know...before the Apostle Paul joined with Jesus' followers, he persecuted them. The story of his conversion on the road to Damascus is one of the most profound examples of the transformative power of Christ's presence in our lives. And I think...perhaps...it is time that I had my own conversion." I smile softly.

"You know, Edward, you don't have to hate yourself anymore either. It's okay to be attracted to men." Jasper says so quietly if I was human I may not have heard him.

"I'm not...gay, Jasper." I defend but don't elaborate.

"I know." He nods. "But you're not straight either."

"If you mean because of Alice, that's not fair," I grumble.

"No, Dummy. Alice is a woman. I mean because of me," he says and I startle, taking a step backward.

"I'm not...I don't…I'm in love with Alice!" I assure him.

"I know that. But you're also attracted to me," he states. His expression and his thoughts both daring me to deny it.

"I can't...that's not…" I frown searching for something intelligible to say but coming up empty-handed.

"I'm an Empath, Edward. Did you think I wouldn't notice? Besides, even if I wasn't, I would have figured it out. You don't treat human gay kids the way you treat me and Peter.

"You don't just lash out at me for being gay. You also lash out at me for being sexy. And you lash out at Peter because you're jealous." He shrugs as if it's no big deal that he is sitting there openly stating my deepest, darkest, secret that I have never admitted even to myself, much less anyone else.

"Jasper, I...have to go," I mutter, rushing off to find Alice. One of the drawbacks to having a psychic for a mate is that she often sees things that happen before I have a chance to explain.

When I find her, she is in the woods, sitting on a log by the stream.

"Alice, I…"

She cuts me off with a finger to my mouth.

"You don't have to apologize, Edward. It's not cheating to be attracted to other people," she assures me.

I nod slowly.

Over the years, Alice has had a great many attractions to other people, both human and vampire, but she has always stayed faithful to me. So I know she isn't feeling jealous about this revelation. And that's good. But there is a much larger issue we need to address.

"That's not exactly what I need to apologize for, Alice. I've been taking my own hangups out on you." I frown.

"I'm not sure I understand. In what way, Edward?" She puzzles.

"I've been so consumed by my own need to be seen as entirely heterosexual, that I have ignored a lot of your needs," I say, slowly, tentatively reaching down to touch her where I never intentionally have before.

Alice's breath hitches and she bites her lip. I can feel her appendage swelling through the fabric of her jeans.

"Edward, I don't need...you don't have to…" she tries to articulate.

"I know, but as much as I have denied it, I have wanted to. I was just afraid that…" I trail off.

"It would make you gay?" Alice finishes for me.

I nod, looking at my feet. "I feel pretty foolish for thinking that way. And it's not like it worked. I didn't stop being attracted to males just because I refused to touch your…"

She tips my face up to meet her gaze. "You can say penis, Edward. There's no shame in it."

I nod slowly, biting my lip. "I'm sorry for refusing to touch your penis, Alice. I know that must have been very hurtful to you."

"As I have said, Edward, I don't need you to. It's okay," Alice attempts to reassure me.

"It's not okay. I know that you touch it, for pleasure, when you're alone. That tells me it feels good to you. This means there is something that gives you pleasure which I have been unwilling to do for you. And that would be one thing if I had no interest in touching you there. But I do, I just...was scared of what that would mean," I admit.

"So...you want to?" she confirms.

I nod, slowly. Then, feeling bold, I begin taking off her jeans.

Alice gasps. "Right now? Are you sure?"

"I am. I want to try it," I insist.

Once I carefully take off her designer jeans and custom made lacy briefs, her length springs free.

Normally, I look away when that happens. This time, I allow my gaze to linger on this neglected part of my mate's anatomy. I allow myself not to ignore the intense arousal I feel.

For the first time ever, I obey the desire I feel to touch her bare phallus. I feel it grow and harden even more in my hand as I begin to stroke it.

And obviously, I have handled my own equipment before, so I know what to do and how to touch it. And since this is a new experience for us to share together, it doesn't take long before Alice is overcome with pleasure and finds her bliss.

Afterward, I hold her protectively in my arms, stroking her hair softly.

"I love you, so much, Alice." I sigh contentedly.

She smiles. "I know, Edward. I've always known. And yet, I've never felt the truth of it as much as in this very moment."

"I'm very happy to hear that." I beam. "And who knows, perhaps next time, I can try using my mouth.

She gasps, her mind conjuring all kinds of fantasies. "I think I would like that very much."

After a few more moments basking in our feelings, I speak again.

"In regard to Jasper and Peter, I can't promise I'll be perfect. I might still forget myself sometimes and say things that offend them. But I do promise to try my best." I smile softly.

"Thank you, Edward. And I know this whole thing has been hard on you, too. I hope you know if you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here," she offers with a level of kindness and patience that astounds me.

I nod, slowly. "I've spent so much time blocking out my own feelings due to shame...I don't know how easy it will be to stop."

"Maybe I can help. Why don't we try starting with something relatively innocuous? I can find a magazine full of men and you can flip through it and think about which ones you might find attractive? It could be easier to start by facing theoretical attractions to strangers rather than begin with the most challenging ones." Alice suggests.

"Actually, yes. I think I'm feeling brave enough for something like that," I agree.

"Great, let's get to it!" She beams. Alice is always a cheerful person, but I haven't seen her this genuinely happy in a long, long time.

Maybe this new outlook of mine will be good for both of us.

AN: Okay, so, I'm certainly not meaning to imply that all homophobes are secretly gay, or bi, I don't believe that's always the case.

Homophobia is often a learned behavior.

But as such it has to start somewhere.

In Edward's case here, it started with him hating himself.

If you would like to know more about how and why Bella was able to get through to Edward, I would suggest reading The Anatomy of Peace.

It teaches us how to correct our own crooked thinking toward other humans and how to help others to do the same.

And as always, I love to hear your feedback!