Author's Note: FIRST OFF – as much as there can be spoilers in an AU, here be spoilers. IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN RISE OF SKYWALKER, THIS MIGHT CLUE YOU INTO SOME PLOT POINTS THERE. Come back later if you haven't seen it and don't want any clues. TROS has been out well over 10 days, so I'm going to be less cautious, especially with this AU, which is now veering away from most spoilers.
Disclaimer per usual – I do not own Star Wars or any aspect of the SW universe; just a fan with an idea. No profit here, just fun for me.
Rey wakes up to the feeling of one, no, two warm weights against her, one at her feet, the other at her side. She cracks an eye open to see Bee curled on her feet, and she peers to her side to see Shara there with an iPad, Hello Kitty headphones on her ears. She peers up at the window, and she can see that it's still daylight, probably late afternoon from the look of the light outside. Rey gently bumps the girl next to her, who is, to Rey's surprise, watching an episode of "Chopped" on the iPad.
The girl pauses the iPad and tosses her headphones off. "Miss Rey! You awake!" Her little face drops. "I didn't wake you up, did I? Daddy said I had to let you sleep, that you still have a hurt head from yesterday. I even made Bee stay, not lick you. She wanted to. I sorry if I woke you up. You were sleeping for two hours!"
Rey blinks, pushing herself up into a sitting position, happy to note that she feels less dizzy and that the pain in her shoulder is lessening. "You didn't wake me up, and neither did Bee. Thank you for keeping me warm, sweetheart. My head is feeling a lot better."
To Rey's surprise, Shara moves to burrow into Rey's side. Rey wraps her arm around the girl. "What are you watching?"
"Chopped! Dey put liver in the basket! Yuck. Daddy says you should never eat the filter!" Rey snorts, and Shara moves, waking Bee, who climbs up between Rey's legs and settles back down. The girl comes back with the iPad, and she pulls out the headphone cord. "You want to watch? It just started! App-tizer round!"
Rey nods, settling in with the girl, covering them both with the blanket. "The doctor said it might give me a headache, but let's try."
Shara grins, and she taps play. As they watch the cooking competition show, Rey gently brushes her hand through Shara's hair, relaxing into the pillows. She internally warns herself not to get used to this, that she's just a temporary guest in their lives. She is terrified of getting attached to them, because then it will hurt even more going back to her quiet, solitary life. For now, though, she can't think of anything she'd rather be doing.
X
Poe heads up the stairs to check on Rey and Shara. He's a little worried that it's too quiet. Shara is never so quiet this long. The door to Rey's room is cracked, and he sighs, concerned that Shara is bothering Rey. That's confirmed when he hears the voice of Ted Allen from Chopped telling the chefs that they have two minutes left. He's about to go in and quietly scold Shara when he freezes near the door.
"She never should have tried the puff pastry! It never bakes fast enough!" Rey's voice is exasperated.
Shara replies, "But the other guy's ice cweam is over, um, over-churnded, so maybe she is OK?"
"Maybe." Rey sounds skeptical.
Poe grins, moving so he can see the bed through the crack in the door. His heart jumps into his throat at the sight. Rey is on the bed where he left her, propped up against the pillows, but she now has Bee on her legs and Shara tucked into her side as they watch the show on the iPad, Rey gently stroking Shara's curly hair. He steps back quietly for a moment, having to swallow hard and shake his head. He wonders how on Earth Zorii could not want this, not want that with their daughter.
He'll never understand it. He can honestly understand not wanting kids in the first place, but he can't wrap his head around the notion of walking away from them once you have them. He was honest with Rey when he said he doesn't think Zorii is a bad person. But she is not a person he understands anymore. Any anger he might have had was on behalf of Shara, and the truth is that he knows anger won't do Shara any good. He let it go a while ago.
Cheers from the bedroom startle him, and he laughs softly when he hears Rey say, "Good call, kid. Over-churned ice cream did him in!"
He hears the sound of what is likely a high five, and Bee barks for good measure. He takes the opportunity to bump the door all the way open, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest. Shara is now in Rey's lap, and Rey smiles shyly at him. He smiles back. "Sleep well? These two didn't wake you, did they?"
Rey shakes her head, and he's happy to note that she didn't wince this time. "No. They were angels. I woke up on my own."
Shara decides to speak up then, making Poe's eyes widen and Rey blush crimson. "Daddy! I wike Miss Rey. Can we keep her?" Bee barks again, then jumps down and whines at the door.
Poe swallows hard and says, hoping his voice doesn't sound too weird, "Shara, baby girl, can you go down and let Bee out?"
Shara clearly doesn't notice their discomfort. "OK, Daddy!" She kisses Rey's cheek and climbs down, calling Bee as she leaves the room.
As their footsteps retreat, Poe clears his throat. "Rey, I –"
She shakes her head. "Don't say I'm sorry. She's a little girl. She doesn't mean anything by it other than liking having me around. I know that."
He looks down at the ground, nodding. He's a little relieved and a little disappointed at her reaction, but he also saw something sad in her eyes – he's not OK with that. He feels like they have some sort of spark, but he won't push her, at least not much. Her voice interrupts his thoughts again. "Is that the bathroom?" She points at the door in the corner of the room.
He nods, and he comes over to help her to her feet despite her protests that she's fine. "Humor me, Sunshine." She gives in and lets him help her up. She stumbles into him slightly, and he can't help but think that it's like one of those cheesy rom-coms. She peers up at him, him a bit taller than her in her stocking feet.
With her face close to his, he says, his voice huskier than intended, "I wasn't going to apologize." Then he steps out of her way. "I'll be over in my room. Just come find me when you want to go downstairs. Please don't give me a heart attack by trying to go down on your own."
She laughs softly. "All right. I'll be along in a moment."
"No rush, Sunshine." He gives her a half-smile, and he pulls the door behind him, giving her some privacy. He goes to his own room and flops down on the king-sized platform bed in there. It's still made from the day before, since he slept at the hospital last night. He's glad. He's not a neat freak, but her house had been tidy, and it's suddenly very important to him that she be comfortable here and not think of him as a mess. He throws an arm across his eyes. "Holy shit, Dameron. You're in deep already."
X
Rey watches the door close behind Poe, and she's at a complete loss. She goes into the small bathroom, finding a nice, efficient little space. There's a cabinet sink, a nicely tiled shower, and a stack of fluffy blue towels on a shelf above the commode. The rugs covering the tile floor are soft, and she is surprised by how inviting he managed to make both the guest room and this attached bath look and feel.
After using the commode and washing her hands, she looks in the mirror, and she can still see the faintest hint of the blush that rose on her cheeks earlier. She grimaces, seeing her hair wildly askew from the pillow. She straightens her t-shirt and his hoodie, her blush rising again when she realizes that she's barely taken it off since he offered it to her at the hospital. Staring at her reflection, she says, "Get it together, Kenobi. What is wrong with you?"
She rolls her eyes then. She goes to braid her hair back, pleased to note the lack of pain in her shoulder at the movement and also pleased to note that the pull on her head doesn't seem to be making her head hurt. It did earlier, which is why she had her hair loose.
She also continues to talk to herself, a habit her therapist assured her is pretty damned normal (her words, not Rey's). "You know what's wrong. He's kind and gorgeous and has the cutest kid ever as well as the nicest dad ever. He even has weird common history so you don't have to explain your buggered up, tragic life. That's what's wrong. You don't want to muck it up."
She finishes her braid, and she goes back into the room to grab her bag, pulling out her toothbrush and toothpaste when she gets back to the bathroom. After her teeth are brushed, she feels a little more human. She looks at her face. She doesn't usually wear much makeup, but she goes back into her bag and smudges on a tiny bit of lip gloss. After a moment looking at herself again, she smooths down her t-shirt, adjusts the hoodie again and nods. "That'll do." She knows she should probably put her own sweatshirt on and return the hoodie, but she candidly does not want to.
She grabs her phone from her pack, slipping it into her pocket, and then she ventures down the hall. She pauses briefly at what is clearly Shara's room. There is a medium-height loft bed with stairs up to it, and the space underneath is piled high with stuffed animals.
There is a play kitchen in the corner, complete with multiple different Play-Doh "food" makers. There is also a little desk surrounded with art supplies and books in baskets, and there is a star map on the wall in front of the desk with a model of the solar system hanging from the ceiling. One wall is painted dark blue, and again, there are stars all over it and a diagram of the solar system. It's charming and adorable and not what Rey expected. She loves it.
She continues on down the hall, and she pauses at Poe's doorway. The door is open, and she mirrors his position from earlier, leaning against the door frame (with her good shoulder), arms crossed over her chest. He is flopped on the bed, feet hanging off the side, and his arm is across his eyes. He's also mumbling to himself, reminding her of herself a few minutes ago. "Poe? You OK?"
He jumps at the sound of her voice, sitting up quickly on the bed. It's then that she realizes that he changed clothes. He's in a different pair of sweatpants with a clean t-shirt, this one with a New York Giants logo. It's also not lost on her that his eyes quickly rake up her, a tiny smile forming when he seems to notice that she's still wearing his hoodie. He gets to her face, and his smile broadens. "You look like you feel better, and you must if you did that to your hair."
She nods slightly, trying to distract herself from the way the sweats pull across his legs when he sits up straighter. She can't pretend that he's not attractive as hell. He definitely is. "I do. I think the nap helped. Shara said I was asleep two hours?"
He smirks. "I kept her occupied for a bit. It was probably closer to three." He swings his foot for a moment. She has to wonder what he's suddenly shy about until he looks up and asks, "Can you show me how to braid Shara's hair back like that? I've tried, but I'm a disaster at it. Dad can do it – Shara's hair isn't only like mine, it's also like my mom's. Zorii's is crazy curly, too. Dad used to help Mom with hers, but I don't know how to even start. I can only manage a ponytail or barrettes, and Dad isn't usually here in the morning."
He looks a little sheepish, so, ignoring the fact that it's probably a little oddly intimate given how long they've known each other, she walks over to the bed. After motioning to the spot beside him, he nods, and she sits next to him. It's a little higher than she's used to, and he has to steady her so she doesn't fall off. He grins at her. "Sorry. Platform."
She nods. "No, I like it. Love the big storage drawers underneath."
"That's why I liked it, too."
They go quiet for a moment, but then she remembers his question. "And yes. Of course I can show you how to do her hair. Has Kes tried to show you?"
He shrugs. "Yes. Dad isn't particularly patient with me. Neither is Shara."
She snorts. "So, drama from you and impatience from Kes?"
"And I'll give credit where credit is due, artistic bent from Zorii." He smiles at her.
"I saw the space stuff in her room. What's that about?" She bumps him with her good shoulder.
He gently bumps her back. "She saw that 80s movie, Space Camp? And now she wants to be an astronaut."
"Good for her." She folds her hands in her lap and looks down at them. Her filter proves to be still down for the count, because without thinking, she goes on, "I am going to get way too attached to you two, three if I count Kes, staying here. I'm good at being alone. I need to keep that skill solid, you know? I have to go home soon and," she takes a shaky breath, "I'm not going to want to. And I don't know what to do with that. What to do about that."
He doesn't say anything, and she glances at him. He looks stunned, and she wrings her hands together. "I'm sorry. The filter is still out of whack. God, what is wrong with me?"
X
He blinks at that, and he immediately reaches over and covers her hands with one of his. "Nothing. Nothing is wrong with you, Rey. Look at me." When she doesn't, he presses gently, "Please, Sunshine. Look at me."
She finally looks up, and he squeezes her hands. "You are not alone. Not anymore. No matter what, you have us if you want us. But we're definitely a package deal, at least me and Shara. Kes is on his own. I can take most anything, but Shara –" He pauses and swallows hard. "You and I can be friends or something more, but cards on the table, Rey, I have to be careful because of her. And it's probably too soon to even say that, but I keep thinking that there's something here, but yeah, too soon, I know."
She shakes her head. "It's not. There is something here, no doubt." He looks up, catching her eye. She turns one of her hands over under his, entwining their fingers like they've done before. "And one of the things I like the most about you is that Shara is your first priority, like she should be. I know what it's like to not be the priority. It's bloody awful." She sighs. "And careful works. I think I might need to go a little slow, Poe. The thing with Ben, it was bad. I figured it out, you know? That's why we'd broken up. I –"
The sound of feet on the stairs makes them both jump. He squeezes her hand. "Tonight? Can we talk about this after I get Shara to bed?"
"We can." She smiles at him, and he feels his heart flip over. He really is a goner for this woman.
At that moment, Shara and Bee charge into the room, Shara climbing up and sitting in Rey's lap, and Bee leaning against his legs. "Daddy, I'm hungry. You cook?"
"Sure." He chuckles. "What do you want for dinner, ladies? I am at your service."
"Taco Tuesday!" Shara yells, grinning.
After glancing at Rey to make sure the loud voice didn't hurt her head, he says, "Share-bear, it's Sunday."
She frowns, and she shakes her finger at him. "Daddy, Grandpa Kes said that any day can be Taco Tuesday. Tacos twan, um, twansend the day."
Rey laughs out loud, and Poe shakes his head at her serious tone. Then, he looks at Rey, who nods and smiles. He stands up, making Bee huff out a bark at him. "Well then, who am I to disagree with the wisdom of Kes Dameron? Tacos it is."
An hour later, he hands Shara a basket full of silverware and napkins to take to the table on the deck. It's a beautiful night, but it's also cool, so he already flipped on the propane patio heater out there. He runs warm, but Shara doesn't. Rey also seems to tend to be cold, so he'll just stick with his t-shirt and deal with the heat.
Rey is at the stove but sitting on a barstool at his insistence. She's stirring the taco meat, careful to not let it overcook. He finishes getting the toppings ready, and when the oven dings, he goes and grabs the tray of taco shells out. "Apologies for the store-bought shells. I usually make flour or corn tortillas for me, but I didn't have time. Shara prefers the shells anyway."
"Poe, if I was at home tonight, it'd be pizza, cereal, or a frozen dinner. Don't apologize." She glances over at him. "I liked the nickname earlier, by the way. Share-bear. It's adorable."
He nods, getting the homemade salsa out of the fridge along with some queso fresco and regular grated cheese. He puts everything on a large tray, and he joins Rey at the stove. He takes the pan from her, and he gets the meat into a bowl for the table. "I don't use it too often in front of other people. She read me the riot act when I accidentally said it in front of her new teacher."
"I can imagine." She grins and hops down from the stool.
He picks up the tray, and they head outside. At dinner, he can't stop the stupid grin on his face as Shara regales them both with stories about Kes and school. Eventually, Shara starts to tire, and she leaves him and Rey alone, sitting with Bee on the deck stairs. Poe clears the table, ignoring Rey's protests. "Just stay with Shara and Bee. I don't like leaving her alone out here after dark anyway."
She relents. "OK. I don't know if I buy that, but OK."
He smirks. "Thanks, Sunshine."
He takes the plates and all the leftover food and such inside, putting away anything that can be kept for leftovers. It's his first time really alone since their short conversation on his bed (his bed – he has to force himself away from that thought) earlier. He's relieved that she hasn't run screaming yet, concussion or not. He also really likes her. It feels a little strange, knowing what she was to Ben, one of his best childhood friends. But other than that, it doesn't feel awkward at all, and he's glad that careful works for her.
He pauses, running a hand through his hair and blowing out a breath, trying to settle himself. He pulls out his necklace, his mom's wedding ring on a chain, and he wraps his hand around the ring. It helps him balance and focus, and he feels calmer once he does. Peering up at the clock, he realizes that it's nearly eight. Knowing that Shara has had a big day, he guesses that she's tired.
When he heads back outside, he freezes. Rey has moved to one of the Adirondack rockers on the deck. She has Shara in her lap, and Bee at her feet, and she's singing to Shara as she rocks. Shara is nearly asleep from the sound of Rey's soft voice singing what he thinks is "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music. In that moment, irrationally, Poe is fairly certain that he falls more than a little bit in love with Rey.
He moves towards them, and Rey looks up as she finishes the song. Bee stands and comes over to him, nuzzling Poe's hand with his nose. He can see that Shara is out like a light. He goes to Rey's chair, and he lifts an eyebrow. "May I?"
Rey nods. "Of course." She leans down and presses a kiss to Shara's forehead. "Sleep well, sweetheart."
He leans down and gets his arms under Shara, easily lifting her out of Rey's lap. "I'll take this one upstairs to bed, and I'll be right back. Do you need a blanket, or do you want to go inside?"
She shakes her head and smiles up at him. "I'm good. The heater is keeping me warm enough."
"OK. Back in a few." He looks at the dog. "Bee, stay." The dog snuffles, and then he moves over and puts his head in Rey's lap. "Good boy."
Rey gives him a last look and nod, and he goes inside, carrying Shara like dead weight. He pauses briefly in the kitchen, awkwardly putting the kettle on to make some tea. Then he carries Shara up the stairs, knowing she's completely done for the night. As he goes, all he can think is that he really doesn't want to mess this up with Rey. He didn't even realize that something was missing in their lives until she showed up, and it occurs to him that it was because it was her that was missing, not just any random woman. It was Rey that was missing.
X
Rey takes a deep breath as she hears the door close behind Poe. Bee looks up at her with mournful eyes, and she giggles softly, scratching his head. The dog's eyes close, and his tail thumps audibly on the deck, making Rey laugh again. She goes quiet then, scratching Bee's head and thinking about the last thirty-six hours or so. She feels like her life is changing for the better, and she's honestly amazed by the comfort she already has with Poe and Shara and even Kes.
Her childhood taught her to be wary. She loved Ben Kenobi, but she never confessed to him that, she always feared being abandoned, being left behind again. He did everything he could to make her feel secure, but the scars were there. She can't even remember her parents at all. She was too young when they left her with Ben. But she had nightmares for years after they died, of plane crashes and other terrible things.
Looking up at the stars, she makes herself stop and think about one thing that has been worrying her. She wonders if it's Shara she's falling for, as a mom-type figure, or if it's Poe. She's fairly certain it's both, but she needs to figure out how to validate that. The way he looks at her, though, it's like she hung the moon and stars. Even Ben Solo, who at one time she thought she'd marry and have kids with, never looked at her like Poe does.
She wraps her arms around herself, snuggling into Poe's hoodie, starting to rock again as Bee settles near her feet. She takes a deep breath again, and she can smell whatever aftershave it is that he uses on the fabric. It's a nice, clean scent, one she's already started to associate with Poe.
She's glad they started to talk earlier, because she's becoming acutely aware that they seem to be dancing around each other a little. This is a new experience for her. She dated a lot in high school, but most people do, and it was the normal teenager stuff.
With Ben, they'd connected on campus when she was working on one of her Master's degrees. He'd been there on a project for an old professor, and they'd hit it off. She'd met him before when Han and Leia came to visit Ben Kenobi in England, but only briefly, and he'd not been interested in her then, not surprising in that he was out of college and she was still finishing high school. She really considers meeting him in Boston when she "met" him.
It had been slow. Date nights, formal dinners, flowers. Nothing really fun or spontaneous. He'd never have liked this night, messy tacos with a four-year-old, a dog milling around begging for scraps. But he'd been solicitous in his own way, and he'd given her stability. It hadn't been a grand love story for the ages. She'd fallen for him, loved his family in a way he sometimes seemed not to.
She shakes her head, remembering the day she found the pictures of some of Ben's victims. When she'd begun to figure it out, she'd had to run to the bathroom to throw up her breakfast. She'd confronted him that night, her bags already packed and waiting in the hallway. She'd moved out of the apartment she'd moved into with him the prior year that same night. The only good thing she can say about him that night is that she never was afraid he'd hurt her, even if that was probably too naïve.
He'd tried to call her repeatedly before giving up. He'd seemed to understand that it was done. Leia called her months later to tell her that Ben had turned over everything to the FBI. It was only then that she'd agreed to meet Ben for coffee. She has to swallow back tears at that point. She'd had no idea that he'd slipped away from his security for that.
When they'd met, he'd tried to see if she'd reconcile. She'd shot him down immediately. She was willing to listen to his apology, to even support him through the trials. But whatever romantic feelings she'd had for him, whatever minimal, muted spark there'd been, she was not going to take him back.
Even now, knowing that he'd die that day, she wouldn't have lied to him and made him empty promises. The trust she'd had for him, trust that is crucial to her, was gone – for her, trust so badly broken cannot be mended. She'd told him that day that she couldn't be with him, but that she could be his friend as he tried to atone for what he'd done. He'd understood, and to his credit, been grateful for that.
She can also admit that she doesn't think they'd have worked in the end, even without the horrible things that Ben did. It's oddly parallel, to her, to Poe's experience with his ex. This life, quiet, warm, settled, this is what she wants. She loves traveling and having adventures, but then she wants to be home. For a brief moment, she allows herself the fantasy of having those adventures with Poe and Shara, watching Shara's eyes light up in wonder at everything from beautiful things to cheesy things like Disney World.
She then lets her mind wander to Poe. She's definitely attracted to him. He's nothing like Ben was – he's neither imposing nor overly serious. Ben had been huge, and he was serious and quick to anger at almost any perceived slight. Poe seems to take the ribbing from his dad with an easy self-confidence and comfort. She gets a half smile on her face, wondering if gentle teasing is his "love language." It doesn't seem impossible. Well, that, and just touching. He's more tactile than anyone she's ever spent time with, and she likes it a lot more than she'd have expected to.
More than anything, though, she feels more cared for and safer now than she's felt since Ben Kenobi died. And even with her adoptive father, she'd never felt quite like this. He'd been older; so kind and wise, but also distracted by life. He was warm and caring, but it wasn't like this. And neither Ben in her life had been one for casual, affectionate touching.
She's shaken from her thoughts by the sound of the back door. Bee looks up, seems to assess Poe, and then puts his head back down, this time on Rey's foot. Poe chuckles. "I see how it is."
She looks up at him from her chair, pleasantly surprised when he hands her a mug of hot tea. It smells wonderful, oranges and spice. She takes a sip, and it's perfect. Hot and with just a touch of honey. He puts his own mug, coffee, she can tell, down on the table between the chairs here, and he settles into the other rocker. She smiles. "Thank you."
"I know you said you were warm enough, but I thought that might help you stay that way." He grabs his own mug. "And yours is herbal, no caffeine."
She eyes him. "And what about yours?"
He laughs. "Not decaf. But no worries. I can chug a triple espresso and still go to sleep. Maybe it's a lawyer thing, or maybe it's just a Guatemalan thing. I think I had coffee for the first time as a toddler. Dad likes to say that's why I never made it past 5'9"."
She smiles and shakes her head. "How tall is he?"
"Well, fifteen years ago, he was 6 feet. Now he's more like 5'11". But don't tell him I said that." He winks at her.
That wink about kills her. Butterflies go crazy in her stomach, and she wonders if the whole going slow thing makes any sense at all. She takes another sip of tea, then puts her mug down on the table between them. "At the risk of being a killjoy, can we talk?"
He turns serious, and he puts his mug down, too. "Yeah, of course, Sunshine. I know we need to."
She takes a deep breath. "What I was saying earlier. Ben. I'd figured it out. I don't know if you knew that. I found photos, and they made me wonder. Then I saw one of the city councilman, you know, the one found dead in his home, that they tried to pass off as a home invasion?"
Poe nods. "That one was the most high profile of the hits."
"I'd seen him on the news. The photos, which I took pictures of with my phone, were the one thing I had to turn over to the FBI when they questioned me, all had names and dates on the back, and I'd photographed that too. It wasn't hard to Google and figure out the rest." She blinks back tears. "I confronted him the night I figured it out, packed my things, and left. I knew I'd never be able to trust him again, and it's probably not surprising to you that trust is a big thing for me."
She pauses and then softly adds, "I was so disappointed in him. I was so angry at him for wasting his potential. I still am. I loved him, but I am so angry with him. I think I always will be."
"I'm so sorry, Sunshine." He reaches across the table and puts his hand on hers and squeezes.
"It's OK. I know he and I probably weren't meant to last. He wanted that life, and I eventually wanted," she gestures around a little helplessly with her free hand, "This. Quiet. Family. Just this."
He squeezes her hand again before pulling back, running his hand through his hair. "You know, that same hit, the City Council man, is actually the one that made the last penny drop for me, too. Ben had been bitching about him to Leia, about some influence they wanted on the City Council. She mentioned it to me when the man died. I told the FBI about it, then I recused myself. I'd already had an inkling that Ben might be in deep with bad people, but that was when I really knew."
He surprises her then, getting up and starting to pace. "I can't imagine what it was like for you. I know I was blindingly angry. I mean white-hot, fist-into-the-wall angry. Literally. I broke two bones in my right hand." She blinks in surprise, but he keeps pacing, now flexing that hand. "I don't remember ever being that pissed off, and then I realized why. He was a good kid."
He stops pacing and looks at Rey, and she sees near-agony on his face. "A good kid. He helped me a lot after Mom. He just was a friend. He would listen and distract me, and he was a good kid. I don't know when the wheels came off or really why. Part of why I was so pissed at the hospital that day was because he'd talked to me, too. Wanted to make amends. We were supposed to talk again the next day. It never happened, of course."
He walks over and stands at the deck railing, staring out into the dark night. His voice is quiet when he says, "I'm the one who had to tell Leia and Han that their only child was dead. Leia was stoic like she always is. Han, though. He wasn't. It was a visceral howl of pain that I still hear in my head now and then."
Poe goes quiet, and Rey can see tension in his shoulders. It never occurred to her that Ben might've been leaning on Poe, too, maybe even more than he had her. Rey stands up carefully, still mindful that she might get dizzy. When she feels steady, she goes over to Poe, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind and leaning her front against his back.
She's surprised but not when he relaxes immediately, and it confirms that touch is something he needs. What does truly surprise her is that it makes her relax, too. It's oddly helpful to know that someone understands. She turns her head, resting it against his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Poe."
She feels him shake his head. "No, I'm sorry, Sunshine. This isn't about me, shouldn't be about me. You're the one who lost someone."
"Bullshit." She can tell that the vehemence in that one word surprises him, because he turns in her arms to meet her eyes while still keeping her close. "You knew him and loved him longer than I did, Poe. It can be about both of us. I can't imagine having to be the one to tell Leia and Han."
He hugs her to him, burying his face in her shoulder and mumbling, "It didn't have to be me. Someone from the FBI was heading over there. Finn gave me the heads up. I got it stopped and told them I'd do it. I couldn't let it come from a stranger."
She reaches up and cups his cheek in her palm, smiling a little when he leans into the touch. "You're an awfully decent person, Poe Dameron."
He leans down slightly, pressing his forehead to hers, eyes closed. "You're pretty decent, too, Rey Kenobi." She closes her eyes, too, enjoying being so close to him. The safety she feels is just a bonus.
After a while, she's not sure how long, he shifts a little. She opens her eyes to find herself looking right at his. They're open too, and they have an intensity in them that she's honestly never had anyone direct at her before. She reaches up and combs her hand through his hair, and he closes his eyes again briefly. "Rey, I –"
"Shh." She leans up, and after breathing out, "Slow, taking it slow," she presses her lips to his.
He lets out a soft noise, and he wastes no time, deepening the kiss gently, though almost immediately. Even so, it's not rushed or intense. It's warm and intimate, and she feels like she's melting, in the best possible way. He pulls her almost impossibly close to him, and she hums softly through the kiss, dropping her arms to wrap around his waist.
She's not sure how long they go on like that, trading languid kisses on his deck, only separating now and then to breathe. Eventually, though, he pulls back, pressing his forehead back to hers. He chuckles a moment later when she can't suppress a jaw-cracking yawn.
"Come on, Sunshine. Let's get you to bed." He tugs her hand, and she follows willingly. They collect their mugs and turn off the heater. Bee follows them in, and, as she'd guessed that he wanted to earlier, he guides her up the stairs with a gentle hand to her lower back. At the door to her room, he leans down and kisses her again, this time chastely and quickly.
"Goodnight, Poe." She reaches up and pushes his hair back again.
As she lowers her hand, he takes it, kissing the back of it before letting it go. "Goodnight, Sunshine."
She goes into her room, watching as he goes down the hall, Bee following until he gets to a dog bed by Shara's door, where he curls up for the night. Poe pauses at his own door, looking back, and she can tell that he's pleased to see her still watching him. He gives her a wave and one of those wonderful soft smiles, and she waves back before quietly closing her door.
When inside, she leans against her door. She has a thousand things racing through her head, but all she can do is touch her hand to her lips and breathe out, "Oh my."