Just thought of this idea and had to get it out of my head. Hope it's funny (even if it starts pretty normal).
District Prosecutor's Office - Room 1202, Chief Prosecutor's Office
December 11, 2026
3:28 PM
Chief Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth sat at his desk, wrapping up the last of his paperwork for the day. Well, seems I've finished earlier than expected, he thought after taking a glance at the clock. Leaning back in his chair, he looked around the office room with a bored expression on his face.
He never liked this time of the year because it brought back his memories of the past. Memories of that dark, cramped elevator with the oxygen quickly depleting. That accursed scream and gunshot that followed-
*Knock Knock*
Edgeworth flinched as he was brought back to reality and heard, "May I come in, Herr Edgeworth?"
"Yes, you may," Edgeworth replied to Prosecutor Gavin as he stepped into the room carrying several case files. Klavier set them down on Edgeworth's desk before signing a piece of paper sitting on top.
"Ja, that should be all of it, Herr Edgeworth. Do you want me to file them for you?" Klavier asked as Edgeworth shook his head. "Have a good weekend, Herr Edgeworth! Auf Wiedersehen!"
"Auf Wiedersehen," Edgeworth offered in reply. Klavier was about to leave the office when Klavier got a notification on his phone. Pulling it out, he looked at the screen for a few moments before he started shaking like he was trying to restrain laughter.
Edgeworth was confused. "Is something the matter, Prosecutor Gavin?"
Klavier's restrained laughter had died down as he paused before replying, "Nein, nein, Herr Edgeworth. I'll be off now," he said as he headed out the door, saying the last part rather quickly.
Edgeworth thought nothing of the matter and went back to his work while back in Klavier's office several floors away, the rockstar prosecutor was quite literally rolling on the floor laughing. Klavier managed to calm himself and was about to go back to his work. However, his phone pinged once again with a message from Trucy. It appeared to be another YouTube link...
District Prosecutor's Office - Hallway
December 18, 2026
12:00 PM
It had been going on for the past week or so.
Whenever Edgeworth would come across one of the other prosecutors, he could see them trying not to snicker and laugh at... something. He just couldn't figure out what it was. At first, he'd assumed it was with his appearance, maybe he had spinach stuck in his teeth (oh, the horror) or maybe his cravat was crooked. Or his hair could've been messy.
But after taking an extra hard look at himself in the mirror, he couldn't see anything out of place which was a relief for him. But that still left the million-dollar question unanswered: Just what was so funny? Were there rumors about him spreading like from when he was known as the "Demon Prosecutor"?
He decided to ask Prosecutor Gavin about them during lunch. Edgeworth went to Klavier's office and knocked. After hearing a "Come in" from the prosecutor, Edgeworth stepped in. He asked, "Hey Prosecutor Gavin, mind joining me for lunch?"
Rezda Ront's
December 18, 2026
12:24 PM
The prosecutors had remained mostly silent while at their table but their conversation picked up significantly after the food arrived.
"So, Prosecutor Gavin," started Edgeworth after finishing his bite of baked salmon. Delicious, I'll make sure to visit this establishment again in the future.
"Ja, Herr Edgeworth?" Klavier asked as he cut into his steak. While Klavier has his customary smile on his face, on the inside he was worried. There was no reason for the Chier Prosecutor, his boss, to ask if he could join Klavier for lunch out of the blue like this. Verdammit, what have I done? Verdammt, ich werde gefeuert, Nicht Wahr!
"Lately, I've noticed that whenever I speak to a prosecutor it looks like they're... trying not to laugh at something. I just wanted to know, Prosecutor Gavin: is there some sort of rumor floating around regarding me?"
Klavier froze at this mid-bite but quickly recovered. Swallowing, he managed a weak, "Er... nein, Herr Edgeworth..." but Edgeworth didn't need Phoenix's "Magatama" to know Klavier was lying.
Edgeworth crossed his arms and silently glared at Klavier. "Prosecutor Gavin, I would appreciate it if you would tell the truth here. I'm not angry, just curious."
Klavier sighed and took another bite before pulling out his phone, tapping a few things on the screen and scrolling a bit. "Hmm... aha! Right here..." Klavier turned the phone so Edgeworth could see the screen. It appeared to be a YouTube video, and the title was... 'When you update the autopsy report'
Edgeworth had a bad feeling about this. Then the video began to play.
umm actually
objection, dumbass
haven't you heard?
you absolute failure
did gumfuck not tell you?
*salary cutting noises*
your garbage excuse of a "hypothesis"?
i'll shove my entire cravat up your ass
because its fucking wrong
why? well, you little bitch...
if you could take a look at this motherfucking
UPDATED AUTOPSY REPORT
"..."
"..." Klavier had his head in his hands. I'm so screwed.
"..."
"..." Klavier awkwardly retracted his arm and pocketed his phone, awaiting Edgeworth's reaction.
"..." Edgeworth said nothing as he took a few more bites of his salmon.
"...A-Aren't you mad?"
Edgeworth put down his utensils before shrugging and shaking his head with a grin on his face. "So that's it, right? This video, I mean."
"Y-Yes. Everyone at the office has seen it."
"Everyone? Where did you even find the video anyway?"
"Fräulein Magician sent it to me. I think she got it from Herr Forehead."
Trucy, of all people? I hope Wright hasn't seen it... "Alright. And as I said, I'm not angry. In fact, I find it somewhat funny."
Klavier looked relieved at this as his shoulders relaxed. He smiled and went back to eating his steak. Likewise, Edgeworth went back to his salmon but this time there was the occasional comment or question in between bites. Edgeworth was slightly disappointed to find out that he had been excluded from the group chat the other prosecutors had made but had quickly been added so no issue there.
Other than that lunch, the day was mostly uneventful apart from paperwork so such.
Miles Edgeworth's Penthouse - Bedroom
December 18, 2026
11:47 PM
Edgeworth couldn't sleep.
He felt tired but at the same time just couldn't seem to get to sleep. Hmph. He looked around his room trying to find anything that would keep his mind busy when he spotted his phone charging on the dresser.
He opened the door and poked his head out to confirm that the butler had gone to sleep and locking his door, he opened YouTube. Now, where is that damn video?
Miles Edgeworth's Penthouse - Bedroom
December 19, 2026
4:34 AM
So my arm goes this way and my legs that way... aha! I think I've got it! Miles smirked at his reflection in the mirror as he relished the satisfaction of finally getting the dance perfected to the best of his ability. He was fortunate that his bedroom was a big enough area to practice the dance in that silly video. Edgeworth decided to try it one more time just to make sure he didn't mess it up.
Readying the video, he began:
"Umm actually," he said as he did the first movements.
Objection!
Edgeworth did the next movement before saying, "Haven't you heard? You absolute failure," as he began to swing his arms.
"Did Gumshoe not tell you?" Edgeworth asked to no one in particular as he gyrated his hips and did circular motions with his hands.
"Your garbage excuse of a 'hypothesis'? Well, it's wrong," Edgeworth said as he swung his arms once more while side-stepping to the left.
"Why? Well..." He stepped backward while bending his arms like he was running, his right arm brought back and his left forward. He then bent at the hip slightly before reaching for his right knee with his left hand.
"If you would take a look at this," Edgeworth said as he stopped bending but kept doing the arm motions.
"Updated autopsy report!" He finished by doing a kicking motion with his right leg and doing that move with his right arm. Out of energy, he made his way to the bed before collapsing onto it. Good thing tomorrow's Saturday...
He fell asleep instantly.
~fin