Author's Note: Time jump!
Disclaimer per usual – I do not own Star Wars or any aspect of the SW universe; just a fan with an idea. No profit here, just fun for me.
It's nearly Thanksgiving, and Rey is picking through the produce section at the Whole Foods near her school in Portland. She has a list from Poe, as he has a late meeting tonight, very unusual for a Friday, so Rey got Shara from school, and they're shopping. "Rey! Is this what Daddy needs?"
Rey squats down to examine the bag of carrots in Shara's hand. "Perfect, munchkin. We need two. Can you go get one more? Remember, your dad has to cook for an army."
"OK!" Shara heads back to the carrots, and Rey grins as she goes.
Rey grins, checking the carrots off of the list and refocusing on the onions she was picking out but also keeping an eye on Shara. In addition to Luke, Han, Leia, Rose, and Finn, they got a call yesterday that Han and Leia are bringing Kes's friend Wedge, Leia's assistant Kaydel, and their old friends Lando and Chewie. She and Poe have to talk tonight, they know, because Han said maybe Lando and Chewie could stay at her house and Kaydel in Poe's guest room.
The problem with that is that she hasn't really lived at her house in two months. Most of her clothes are in the closet in Poe's guest room, her fridge is empty, and the house is likely a bit musty. She sighs.
That first Saturday night, they'd gotten Shara to bed, waited an hour, then retreated to his bedroom, where they'd, his words, 'broken in' his bed, then re-dressed in PJs before falling asleep wrapped up in each other, the alarm on his phone set for 4 a.m. They've done that pretty much every night since. She blushes lightly as she thinks about it. Not every night for all of that. Sometimes, they just sleep. But now, they have to decide what to do. The only person who knows right now is Kes.
"Rey, here are the cawwots." Rey grins. Shara sometimes struggles with Rs when she's excited. "What next?"
"You are a great helper, munchkin. See those bags of potatoes? Go grab us a good one." Rey points.
Last night, they'd had their closest thing to a fight so far. He just wants her to move in with them officially, to talk to Shara, everything. She's still afraid, most of all that it will upset Shara. She knows that's a little silly, but there's a difference between being a friend, even a girlfriend, of her dad's and living in Poe's room. And honestly, moving in for real, giving up her house, it's terrifying to her.
He'd taken that as her meaning she doesn't trust him, that she doesn't believe in them. She'd finally had to raise her voice, her first time with him, to say that everything fell apart with Ben just after she'd moved in with him. He'd hugged her then, and he'd apologized. She'd stopped him, telling him that she knows she needs to keep talking to him. They'd finally decided to table the issue until tonight after acknowledging that they both could have handled the conversation better.
Shara comes back with the potatoes, and Rey bags up the onions they need. She puts both in the basket, and Shara climbs up on it, riding along between Rey and the basket as Rey quickly gets everything else they need, adding in some decorated Thanksgiving cookies for Shara, some of the coffee Poe likes, and a tea she can't get at most grocery stores.
As they get to the checkout line, Rey starts to unload the cart onto the belt, Shara helping with the things she can lift. There is an older woman paying in front of them, and she watches Rey and Shara as her own groceries are bagged. When Rey catches her eye, the woman says, "Your daughter is adorable."
Rey freezes, glancing at Shara. Rey suppresses her need to cringe when she can tell that Shara heard the woman. Instead of seeming upset, though, Shara grins. "Thank you! My mama is pretty too, isn't she?"
It takes Rey a moment to realize that Shara is talking about her, and she blinks a few times. The woman, clearly unaware how out of sorts Rey suddenly is, just laughs. "You're right, she is! Happy Thanksgiving!"
Rey returns the sentiment softly as Shara waves to the woman, and then she hugs Shara quickly before finishing unloading the basket. Her brain feels like it's suddenly stuck in neutral, and she can tell when Shara goes quiet that Shara has noticed. She pays for the groceries, taking them out with Shara, who is watching Rey with a careful, assessing look that makes Rey think about how Shara will look when she's older.
Once they've unloaded the basket and are settled in their seats, Shara speaks up quietly before Rey can back her Jeep out of her parking spot. "Rey, do you want to be my mama? I'm sorry if you don't, if I said something wrong. Don't be mad."
Rey whips her head around, her mouth opening in shock. She looks at Shara for a moment, and the girl looks so worried that Rey's heart sinks. She shakes herself mentally. She unbuckles her seat belt, leaving the car running because it's too cold not to, and climbs into the back of the Jeep with Shara. She holds her arms out to Shara, and the girl undoes her own seat belt and scrambles into Rey's lap.
Rey hugs her close, and says, "You didn't say anything wrong, munchkin." Shara sniffles a little and hugs Rey back.
After a moment, Rey moves Shara so that she can see Shara's face. "Munchkin, do you want me to be your mama?"
"Yes." The girl doesn't even hesitate a little. "So, will you be my mama?"
"Oh, Share-bear, it's not that simple. I'd love that, and I'm so honored that you want me to be that for you, but your dad and I have to talk about this. It's something important, and I can't say yes to that without knowing that he is comfortable with it." Rey brushes some loose curls back from Shara's face. "Does that make sense?"
"Yes." Shara nods. "I love you, Rey."
Rey has to blink back tears as she hugs Shara close again. "Love you too, munchkin." After a while, she says, "We good, Share-bear?"
She grins a little and nods. "I tell Daddy that I don't like him to call me that in front of people, but I like it when you say it." It had only been days after hearing it that Rey started using it, too.
With a laugh, Rey kisses Shara's forehead and shifts her back into her car seat. "Let's have that be our little secret, OK?"
Shara nods enthusiastically, and moments later, Rey is back in the front seat, backing out and taking them home to Poe's house. As much as the moment was lightened, Rey knows they now have two things to talk about tonight.
All the way home, Shara sings with the music from Rey's phone, which she holds in the back, listening to songs from a Disney album Rey found. Rey lets her mind wander. The last couple of months have been the happiest of her life. The three of them have rarely been apart except for school and work and the occasional date night when Kes takes Shara. They've gone to the museum, into Boston for the day, apple picking, and a lot of other things (often joined by Kes), and for the first time in her life, Rey feels like she's part of an actual family.
She's careful with things because she's so afraid of breaking this magic bubble it feels like she's living in. She's even gone back to her therapist to talk about it. Dr. Kanata tells her that she's making brilliant progress and to acknowledge the fear but not let it take over. Rey knows the wise older woman is right, and it's something she takes a moment to say to herself every morning, that it's OK to be afraid but not OK to let it control her.
A few hours later, Rey is cleaning the kitchen while Shara plays upstairs with Bee. Rey had made spaghetti with a simple marinara, one of the things she can do quickly and decently well. She also made some fresh bread, which is already on the counter. She has a plate set aside for Poe, sitting in the warming drawer under his oven. She knows he'll be home any minute, as he texted her when he left the office.
When she hears the garage door open, she grabs a bottle of red wine and pours him a glass and a second one for herself. "Liquid courage," she mutters under her breath.
The door to the garage opens, and a tired-looking Poe comes in. He lights up when he sees her, dropping his bag and suit jacket by the back door. He comes to her, taking the wine and leaning down to kiss her. When he pulls back, he says, "This is way better than when Dad gets Shara after I have to work late, just so you know."
She chuckles and waves him towards the bar, and he obeys, settling where she has a place set. She gets his plate and sits it in front of him. He thanks her and digs in, and she leans forward on her elbows. "We got everything at the store for Thursday." It's Friday night, so at least they have the weekend to figure out what to tell people.
He clearly wants it settled, though, as he replies, "Thanks, Sunshine. So, what are we saying to people? Any ideas?"
"There's a slight complication about that." She smiles a little tentatively, bringing her wine and coming to sit next to him at the bar.
He gives her a curious look. "Do tell."
She swallows, screws up her courage, and tells him what happened with Shara at the store. He eyes her as she talks, and when she finishes, he just leans in and kisses her gently after she says she wants his opinion.
"What do you want, Rey? Of course that's what I want. I didn't want to rush you or push you, but I'm kind of glad that Shara did." He reaches over and takes her hand.
"I am, too. And it's what I want too." She turns her hand over under his, entwining their fingers.
"So, we can tell everyone and you'll move in for real, start staying full-time in my room?" He prompts.
She takes a deep breath. "It's just a lot, Poe."
"No it not!" They both jump and look towards the door to the kitchen, where Shara stands with Bee. "You already sleep in Daddy's room. I don't know why you always leave in the morning."'
Poe recovers first, going over to Shara and crouching down in front of her. "How did you know that, Share-bear?"
"One night in Sep, um, September, there was that storm?" Rey joins Poe in front of Shara, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Shara climbs into Poe's lap as Poe sits next to them, and she goes on, "I try to be brave and hugging my softies helps, but it woke me up and I wanted to make sure Rey didn't need a softie to not be scareded."
Rey smiles at Shara's term for stuffed animals. Then, she sighs. "And I wasn't there in the guest room, so you were worried and went to your dad's room?" She catches Poe's eye, and he shrugs, looking sheepish.
"Uh huh. But I wasn't worried anymore, because I saw you were with Daddy, and he had his arms around you and you were safe and you were both sleepin' so I didn't want to wake you. I went back to my room and went back to sleep. But I hear you in the morning sometimes. Daddy's alarm goes off when it still dark, and I hear you in the hall." Shara smiles. "You always stop and pet Bee."
It's true, Rey does always stop and scratch Bee's ears. She swallows hard. "And it's OK with you, if I'm in there with your dad every night?"
"Of course! I could tell you was a little sad before. You don't seem sad anymore. Same with Daddy." Shara clambers out of his lap to go to Rey's. She wraps her arms around Rey's neck, hugging her, and Rey wraps her arms around Shara, squeezing her tight.
Poe watches, and he reminds himself that they really don't give kids enough credit. He's about to say something when Shara leans back and looks at Rey. "Did you ask Daddy about being my mama?"
"Yes. He's fine with it." She looks over at Poe, and he nods. This unexpected moment is one that makes his heart feel lighter than it has been since his mom died. "So if it's what you really want, yes, I will be your mama, Shara Bey Dameron."
X
Poe's eyes grow damp as Shara squeaks happily and buries her little face in Rey's neck, murmuring, "Mama. My Mama."
Rey blinks, and he sees she has tears in her eyes, too. She holds Shara, rocking her back and forth. After a moment. Shara pulls back and makes them both laugh. "Dat was heavy. Mama, can I have a turkey cookie?"
Poe grins. Kids are incredible in their ability to process things and move on. Rey sniffles. "Yes, munchkin. They're on the plate."
"Can I take it to my room?" She looks at Poe this time. He's the stickler on food upstairs.
"If you're careful and take a paper towel. If it's not chocolate, it's OK for Bee to help you with crumbs." He tries to sound serious, but he know he fails. He might've usually said no, but he really wants to talk to Rey alone now.
"Yes, Daddy!" Shara jumps up and grabs the cookie and paper towel, and he and Rey both watch her run down the hall, Bee close on her heels, Shara telling Bee as they go that they have a mama now.
They sit there in silence for a moment before Poe reaches over and puts a hand on Rey's knee, turning her, her leggings easily sliding on the wood floor, so that they're sitting facing each other, knee to knee. He can see that Rey is still struggling with her emotions a little, so he reaches out and takes her hands in his. "You all right?"
She sniffles. "Yes. Happy tears."
"I really just want to be straight with everyone, Sunshine. Can we do that?" He squeezes her hands. "I know you're scared. I know you are afraid of this slipping away. I won't let it. I'm holding on with both hands."
She nods. "I know, and I am too. I am happier than I have ever been, so I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop just like it always has."
Her voice is small and scared, and he's just not OK with it. He wants to do something to show her just how all in he is, and he suddenly knows exactly what to do. "Rey, I love you more than breathing. I love how you love me, how you love Shara. I love how you've just sort of folded into our lives and let us fold into yours. This is it for me, for us. This is what I've wanted all my life, this feeling right here."
She bites her lip, and some tears escape. He reaches up and cups her face in his hands, brushing the tears away. "Me too. All of it. It just always slips away from me, this feeling."
"Not this time." He shakes his head, and pulls his hands back, making her blink in surprise. He takes a deep breath, and then he moves his hands to the chain around his neck, pulling it over his head. Rey's eyes widen as he does so, and before she can protest, he slips the chain over her head. "I know we're not ready for this to be on your hand yet, Sunshine, but it belongs with you now. I've been wanting to do this since September, but I didn't want to scare you away."
Her eyes well with even more tears, and her hand wraps tight around the ring. She looks stunned, and he fills the silence. "So, can we please just tell people and move the rest of your stuff here?" He looks at her beseechingly.
She huffs out a breath, and she moves quickly (and with an agility and flexibility he envies). A moment later, she's perched in his lap, straddling him, and she kisses him, pressing her body to his. The kiss is soft and languid, reminding him of the kisses they traded that first night out on his deck. He wants to keep doing this for the next few hours or so, but he has to pull back a moment later. He touches his forehead to hers. "Was that a yes?" She nods, and he says, "OK, now we need to get up before we give Shara a show and before my knees decide that I just have to live down here forever."
She laughs and gently pushes off of him, standing up. Once she's on her feet, she holds her hands out to him, pulling him to his feet with far less grace than she managed. She kisses him again and asks, "Will Kes be all right with this?" She motions to the ring.
He nods. "I'm sure he will. He loves you a whole hell of a lot, Rey."
"I love him too, Poe. It's awfully nice to have a dad. It's really my first time. Ben Kenobi was lovely and kind, but he was more of a benevolent uncle, you know?" She hesitates. "Are you really OK with Shara calling me Mama? I don't want to overstep, Poe."
"Rey, in two months you've been more of a mother to Shara than Zorii has been in four years. On paper, as you know, Shara doesn't have a mother anymore, thanks to Zorii's own choice. But that doesn't matter either way – you may not have given birth to her, but you appear to love her as if you did. Am I wrong about that?" He cocks his head at her.
"You look like Bee when you do that, and no, you're not wrong." She bites her lip. "I'd walk through fire for her, to keep her safe."
"I'll ignore the fact that you just said I look like my dog." He lifts an eyebrow at her, and he's gratified to hear a giggle escape from her. "And I know you would. So, we're telling people?"
After a beat, she nods. "Yes. And we can move my stuff from the guest room tomorrow. We also have to go air out my house and stock the fridge with basics. If we get some time next week, I'll tell Leia I want to let my lease run out and then not renew."
"She'll let you break it early if you want to, but you need to do what makes you feel the most comfortable." Poe brushes her hair back. "I'm sorry for how I reacted last night."
"You apologized last night, Poe. It's OK." She puts a hand on his chest.
"No, I really thought about it today. I was sorry last night, but I'm even more sorry today. I need to acknowledge that Zorii's leaving the way she did has made me lose a little confidence. It reared its ugly head last night. I know you're sure of me, Rey, just like I am sure of you." He sighs. "We both just need to work on being sure of ourselves, don't we?"
She moves into him, wrapping her arms around his waist and putting her head on his shoulder. "Well put, Counselor." She lifts her head. "I have an idea, but you can say no if you want to."
"Shoot, Sunshine." He prompts her.
"Would you be willing to go with me to see my therapist once or twice? She does couples too, and it might be good for us to figure out each others' clues and tells, to see when we're struggling. She's good at helping people be more direct with each other." Her eyes are wide, and he can tell she was a little afraid to ask this of him.
"Sunshine, I'd be happy to do that." He hugs her to him. "I actually had that thought today, that couples counseling would be a good idea for us."
She relaxes in his arms, tucking her face into his neck. "It doesn't have to be Maz, I mean, Dr. Kanata, if you would prefer someone new."
Poe shakes his head. "No, let's go to her. I know you like and respect her, and you told me that you've talked to her about me and Shara. It's not like we're in conflict and need a neutral mediator. Someone who knows you and knows of me seems ideal."
She says, "OK, I'll talk to her. She may want to see you once separately first. Is that all right?"
He nods, turning his head to drop a kiss to her temple. "It's definitely all right. Remember, I saw someone after Ben and Zorii. I have an idea of the drill."
"Thank you for being willing." She leans up again. "And apology accepted, even if not necessary." She looks at the bar. "Do you want me to warm up your food again?"
He shakes his head. "I can do it. Sit," he motions to the barstool next to his, "Drink your wine. We need to game plan how to message all of this. Dad was coming over tomorrow to help me drag the big folding table I have out of the basement. We can start with him. He's the most important one anyway. And remember, Finn and Rose were coming over tomorrow afternoon to help re-arrange the living room to make room for the table. We can tell them too, but wear earplugs. Rosie's going to shriek."
"Will do, and of course, we're feeding them tacos, at Shara's request." Rey grins. "I think she'd eat tacos every day if we let her."
He nods as he puts his plate in the microwave, his heart swelling at Rey saying "we." He settles back down to eat, and she grabs a piece of paper and a pen from a basket on the bar. When he lifts an eyebrow at her, she explains, "We have a lot to do. I need a list."
"Fair point." He grins. She's a lot like him in some ways. He's a list-maker too. He eats and watches her make a detailed list of things to do in the next week, and his heart melts a little every time she absently wraps her left hand around the ring hanging from the necklace, just reinforcing that it was the right thing to do.
X
By the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, Rey honestly cannot wait for the holiday to come and go. As expected, Kes had been over the moon when they told him Saturday morning. When he saw Poe's necklace with the ring on it around her neck instead, he'd actually cried. Even more meaningfully, he'd shown up on Sunday morning with a new necklace for Poe, this one with his own wedding ring on it, for Poe to wear when he and Rey eventually get married.
That had reduced all of them to weepy messes, something they did their best to get past Shara. She's already excited about having Rey be her mama and Rey moving in officially; they don't want to get her all wound up about a wedding, too, especially when they aren't even actually engaged. Shara did notice the necklaces, but she doesn't really understand what they are.
Poe had to go to the office yesterday and today, but she's off and so is Shara. Kes helped with Shara yesterday, but this morning she and Shara are going over to Rey's house to make sure it's ready for guests, and then they're going to meet Poe for lunch in Portland. He's off starting this afternoon until Monday. She's getting dressed now, putting on a little makeup as she thinks about the last few days.
Rey knows now that any concerns she'd had about Shara being upset were kind of ridiculous. Very early on Saturday morning, Shara climbed into their bed, trundling up and squashing herself between Rey and Poe. Rey had loved it while simultaneously being grateful that they've been diligent about putting clothes back on after any adult activities they engage in after Shara goes to bed.
Rey had rolled over, letting Shara snuggle into her. As they both fell back asleep, she could see Poe watching them with nearly overwhelming fondness. She'd mouthed "I love you" to him as she drifted off, feeling his hand on her arm, squeezing gently.
For the others (Rose and Finn aside – Poe had been correct, Rose had shrieked loudly), they've decided to wait to tell them as needed – basically, when they arrive. Poe knows Kaydel, and he's fine with her staying with them; however, he's going to give her the option of taking the guest room here or the master at Rey's house, since Rey won't be there.
The other exception is Luke. Yesterday, Kes took Shara for part of the day, and she went and met Luke for lunch. She'd told him what was up and asked his advice about talking to Leia and Han. Luke had growled a bit about having another conversation with Poe, and Rey had growled right back that he would do no such thing. Happily, he'd been amused. He'd also had a laugh over the fact that they've mostly kept this from Leia, seeming almost gleeful that he knows something that she doesn't.
Before she left, though, he'd given her a bear hug. He'd told her he was happy for her and Poe and not to worry about Leia and Han, that they'll be happy for her. Then he'd made her smile sadly by saying he was sorry for not introducing them himself. She'd replied, "Luke, I appreciate that, but honestly, I think we met at exactly the right time and weirdly enough, in the right way. We have stuff, you know? But we're both to a place where we can work through it. I don't know if I was before."
He'd smiled and tapped the ring. "Shara would have liked you – Poe's mom, that is. She was an amazing lady. So damned smart, a talented pilot – yes, she was a pilot – Poe is too, by the way. He's been fully licensed as a private pilot since he was nineteen."
She'd been surprised by that. "What? He never said!"
Luke had shrugged. "His mom started teaching him when he was a kid. It scared the hell out of Kes. Poe wanted to go into the military, even was accepted to the Naval Academy, but Kes asked him not to go. I think it was the only time in Poe's life that Kes really pushed back – well, then, and maybe on Zorii, who was a terrible fit for Poe. Kes was terrified of losing Poe. I honestly think it would have killed him. You can probably already tell that while he has his old friends, Poe and Shara are his life."
She'd been confused. "Wait, his mom was a pilot? I thought she worked with Leia?"
He'd chuckled. "Shara Bey and Leia met when they were young. Shara was one of many pilots Leia employed. It was something Shara could do from Virginia Beach, especially when Leia was in DC, which I know you know was often. You know about Leia's adoptive parents – Bail Organa was a Senator from Florida. Leia has a lot of ties in DC, so Shara would just go hop on the Lear and get Leia to take her all over. When Poe wasn't in school, he went with her. He was only in second grade when she died. Poe and Kes were both just broken. Trust me, kid," he points to her necklace, "Him giving you that means a hell of a lot. Poe has had that around his neck since he was fifteen. Kes let him have it when he started high school."
Rey had digested that for a moment, and she's still digesting it now. She wants to ask Poe about the piloting, but she doesn't want to push him on it if he doesn't want to talk about it. Luke had assured her that he would probably love to talk about it with her, but considering how open he has been about everything else, she's not as sure as Luke.
"Mama?" Rey turns to see Shara standing there in an adorable sweatshirt covered in rainbows, some leggings that kind of match, and a pair of sparkly purple winter boots that look like Uggs (but Rey knows they're a knockoff), dressed for the cool day. "I dressed myself!"
Rey grins. "You look adorable, Share-bear. Do you want me to do your hair?"
Shara runs over and hugs her legs. "Yes! One braid today?"
"Whatever you want, munchkin. Go get me your brush, and I can do it in here." Rey tousles her hair, and Shara scoots out of the room.
Rey finishes her lipstick, checking herself in the mirror. She's wearing skinny jeans, a turtleneck with a pretty dark green tunic sweater over it, and her own Uggs, hers just brown. She hates it when her feet get cold, and what they lack in style they make up for in warmth. Her hair is in a low, loose ponytail, and she has her necklace showing on top of the sweater.
"You look pretty, Mama." Rey looks over to see that Shara returned.
"Thank you, munchkin. Let's get your hair done so we can go by my house and then go meet your dad." Shara runs over, and Rey gets to work taming the curls into a braid.
Just under two hours later, Rey pulls in next to Poe's BMW at a pizza place he and Shara recommended in South Portland. She eyes her old Jeep as she gets out. Poe has been after her to think about a new car. Her Jeep, an old Cherokee 4X4, has broken down twice in the last two months. It occurs to her that she can afford to if Leia pulls strings to let her out of her lease.
She doesn't want to be completely dependent on Poe – he already refused to let her pay the mortgage after her lease is over. He said it's not that big and that it's not necessary, but at her insistence, he did run her through the monthly expenses for the house. She'd been surprised – he must have put a fair amount of money down on the place, because it's actually less than her lease on her house. He and Kes had also added a lot of insulation to the walls when they remodeled the house, so the utilities aren't bad either.
She walks around the car and takes Shara's hand. As she does, she notices a newer Subaru Forester on the other side of Poe's car. It's a nice car. She files that thought away. That might easily fit in her budget. Shara drags her towards the door, and Poe is waiting for them just inside. She smiles when she sees him. He's dressed way down for a work day, but no one has had court this week, and it's been very quiet at his office according to him. He's actually dressed in almost exactly what he wore for their first date night.
He comes over and kisses her. "Hey Sunshine." He picks Shara up and settles her on his hip. "Hey Share-bear."
"Hi Daddy!" She plants a slightly messy kiss on Poe's cheek, and they all laugh.
An hour later, she and Poe are watching Shara from across the room. They'd run into another family from Shara's school, and the mom is watching as her son and Shara try to play video games that the place has along the wall. Rey is next to Poe, her foot wrapped around his ankle, and she's full of pizza and the most relaxed she's been in a few days.
He rubs her arm. "This is nice. The last few days, trying to get ready for everyone, have been nuts, you know?"
She nods, dropping her head to his shoulder, amused that he basically just read her mind. "At least I didn't have to work. I'm glad you're done for the week."
He turns his head and kisses the top of hers. "Me too."
After a moment, she says, "So, Luke told me something yesterday, something I didn't know. He said you won't mind if I ask you about it."
"Well, now I'm intrigued." He leans back slightly, and she lifts her head to look at him.
She hesitates briefly, and then she asks with a small smile, "Were you going to tell me that you can fly a plane?"
X
He blinks. That's not what he was expecting her to ask. "It didn't really come up, Sunshine." He pauses when her smile falters a little. "Sorry, I didn't mean that defensively. It just really didn't come up." He rakes a hand through his hair. "Yes, I still have my license. I actually want to get some hours in next month. I can take you and Shara up if you want me to and if the weather's OK."
"What plane do you use?" She looks curious, and he's relieved that she's not upset at him for not telling her.
"Han has a few, one small jet that I like to fly and he lets me use sometimes. I was going to talk to him about it this week." He shrugs. "What else did Luke tell you?"
"Probably more than he should have. He told me about the Naval Academy." She cocks her head at him.
Poe sighs. "Busybodys, all of them."
Rey laughs. "They can't help themselves." She gets serious. "You don't have to tell me about it. I mainly just don't want to hide that I know about it."
"No, it's fine, Sunshine." He thinks about it for a moment. "I think Luke thinks it was a bigger deal than it was. What did he tell you?"
"He said you were accepted but that Kes asked you not to go." She takes his hand.
"That's sort of what happened, I guess." He squeezes her hand. "But I think Luke thinks it was a big deal to me to not go. It wasn't. That whole mess was a big misunderstanding between me and Dad. I told you Dad was in the Navy, right?" She nods, and he continues, "I thought it was what he would want, a way to follow in his footsteps and in Mom's."
"But?" She prompts.
"But I mistook his support for encouragement, and he thought it was something I really wanted. When the appointment came in, I wasn't happy, to be honest. I don't think military life would have suited me well." He gives her a sheepish smile. "I think Dad saw an opening when I wasn't ecstatic. The minute he asked me not to take the appointment, I think my basic reaction was, 'Oh, thank God.'"
She laughs. "I'm picturing this, and it's amusing as hell."
He nods. "We both still laugh about it. I did get my license – I love flying. But I didn't really want to do what Mom did. I ended up at UVA studying Public Policy. I never wanted to be that far from Dad. Honestly, I took the job I was offered in Boston because it was where Leia was and it was what I was offered. It was that or somewhere even further away from Dad. Not taking that is not one of the greatest disappointments of my life, not by a long shot. I literally have zero regrets about it."
"I was accepted at Oxford. Went to Brown instead, then grad school at BU. I just wanted something different." She squeezes his hand. "I don't really have regrets either, especially not now. I did feel sorry for myself now and then after Ben, though."
He leans in and kisses her. When he leans back, he says, "I, for one, am very happy that you decided to say yes to Brown instead of Oxford."
She laughs and snuggles into him, smiling as she watches Shara celebrate something on her video game. "Me too." She looks up at him. "So, this week. How are we going to survive this? You know Leia and Han are going to bug the crap out of us both."
He laughs. "My plan involves lots of red wine. Vodka in the mornings, because bloody marys. What do you think?"
"That sounds like an excellent plan to me." She kisses his cheek. "Since most of them are leaving Friday morning, if Leia lets me out of my lease, want to go car shopping with me? I can manage a car payment on something brand new if I'm not paying rent and since you won't let me give you anything on the mortgage." She pokes his side gently.
He grins, and relief washes over him. He's been worried sick about her and her old Jeep. "I told you, Sunshine, it's just not a big burden. I mean, you've seen the numbers. And I'll feel a lot better if you have something more reliable. What are you thinking about?"
"I like the Subarus. They're supposed to handle the winters really well." She sits up a little.
"Those are nice, I think." He pulls out his phone and pulls up a site he'd been looking at earlier. "And look, good safety ratings and good ratings on Consumer Reports."
She narrows her eyes at him. "And you just had that handy, did you?"
He freezes for a moment, but she can't hold her expression, laughing out loud. He rolls his eyes. "What? It was boring today, and I was trying to look busy."
She shakes her head. "OK, show me. I know you've probably got a few bookmarked."
He starts to protest, but then he shrugs. It's not like she's wrong. He pulls up the Consumer Reports site, and he can't help but think to himself that something this mundane shouldn't make him so happy. He's also just going to enjoy this quiet day with her and Shara, because he knows that as of tomorrow, the circus is in town.