I still hadn't spoken to Jasper since the field trip. On it, I ignored him in favor of looking out the window at the flora we passed. He remained silent throughout the trip. I met up with Bella once we arrived and ignored Edward's stare as he spoke with Bella, muttering the same bullshit about how not good he was. I now understood why. The trip back was the same as the ride to - tense silence.

About a month had passed since then and the lingering tension was dreadful in classes. Because of that, Alice would send me looks in class, pass me notes about visions she'd have. Edward would try to corner me between classes and I'd slip away. Emmett, well, he was busy keeping Jasper's mood up from what I could see. Rosalie? Well, she was the worst of them. She blatantly smacked my lunch tray out of my hands the day after. I didn't blame her, that was her twin brother for all intents and purposes. Everyone made a show of gasping and turning to their table to gossip, but I took it in stride. I didn't want to think Rosalie was mean; she could've just had a bad day too. Jasper must be close to her for her to react like that, though. I laughed to myself, thinking of his comment, "wait til you speak to Rosalie," he said. Yeah, fucking right, he had a point.

I sighed. I wish it hadn't happened, but it had to. I pushed my food around with my fork while Jessica talked about student government things, Bella trying to look interested while the boys stared at the snow outside. It was the first snowfall of the year, apparently. I had seen snow before, sure, we used to drive up to the Carolinas once a year in December to experience it. It just wasn't my favorite thing. I preferred straight up rain, at least that didn't pile up.

I was lurched from my thoughts when Mike's voice broke through. "Dani? Hello? Earth to Dani?" Mike waved a hand in my face.

I blinked rapidly, trying to wake up from my deep thoughts. "What's up?"

"Do you want to go outside for a snowball fight?"

I glanced around at the table; Tyler and Erik had gathered some other people from neighboring tables to go outside for a snowball fight. The girls had chosen to stay in the warmth and comfort. I was about to say I'd do the same when I noticed Emmett stand up and head for the outside, followed immediately by Alice, Edward, Rosalie, and lastly, Jasper. My heart ached at the sight of him and knew it would only be worse in Spanish. Ignoring that last thought, I stood up.

"I'm in."

Everyone seemed shocked that I of all people would choose to join in. I was normally the last one to join in festivities. But I had built up tension and I needed it gone. I threw on my overcoat and walked with the boys outside. As soon as we were outside, it was every man for themselves. I hadn't laughed that hard in ages as I got pelted by snow from every direction and threw just as much as I got hit. I nailed Tyler in the back of his head and looked away sheepishly as he turned in circles looking for the attacker. I dove behind a parked car for shelter after being winded by a snowball I hadn't seen coming. It was then I saw I had a person next to me. Of course, it was the one I was less inclined to want to see at the moment. Before I could jump up to run away, Jasper had my hand in his, tugging me down.

"Stay, please." His voice was raspy, whether from our proximity or from the wind I wasn't sure.

I crouched back down, leaning against the car. I wanted to say something, but I wasn't sure what to say. It was… hard, to look at him, I mean. It was difficult to separate his past life from who he was today. He fought for something that would have easily killed me. He was remorseful, I knew that - everyone in his family spent so long trying to convince me of it too.

I settled for asking, "How are you?"

He nodded. "I've been better."

At least he was honest. I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped me. "Yeah, me too."

"Dani, what can I do?" Jasper turned to look at me, his eyes pleading. It was more emotion than I'd seen on his face in a month. "I'll do anything."

I shook my head. "You can't do anything, Jazz," I said, letting slip the nickname. His eyes became even softer at the mention of it. "This is just something I need to process. You would think the vampire part scared me more than the Confederate part," I muttered, more to myself than him, but I knew he heard me without any trouble. I sighed. "I know you aren't that person anymore."

"Then what is it?" His voice emphasized every word.

"It's… it's… Damn it, Jazz, I'm just scared!" I cried out, covering my face with my hands. "I'm not scared of you, I'm scared of what can happen. There's this maniac after me, my dad is here, you're - you're what you are, and it just is overwhelming." I uncovered my face. "Did you know my dad has shown up to the house and just stood outside four times now? In just the past two weeks? Said he got tired of waiting for us to come around and insisted he would make us see the light, or whatever it was he said. It's terrifying," I whispered, my voice breaking on the last word.

Before I could say anything more, my face was pressed into Jasper's chest. He was whispering in my ear as I let the floodworks go. My long-held sobs were heartbreaking to hear, and I couldn't imagine how it felt for him. I felt like pure shit for it. Slowly, a wave of calm helped ease me out of my sobbing. I pulled away, rubbing at my nose, self-conscious about the way I'd wet his shirt. Hopefully, no one could differentiate if it was from a snowball.

He tilted my chin to look at him. "Dani, you need to know I'll be what you need me to be. I just need you in my life, it hurts too much to not. Even if I have to start all over again, let me in."

I bit my lip, thinking. As far as I knew, I was the only one who knew about the Cullens, Edward having tried to block Bella out of his life again. I just wanted to be there, talk to them. Being with Jasper made me happy, inexplicably so, and yet here I was, grappling with whether to let him in again or to keep my distance after making him promises. I wanted to fulfill those promises. I wanted to properly meet Esme and Carlisle, get to know Emmett and Rosalie, I wanted to talk to Alice and Edward without worrying either of them would rip my head off for how I pushed Jasper away. Surely, I'd caused this boy enough pain… right?
I didn't have the words at the moment. So I deflected. I gathered up snow quickly and smashed it down on Jasper's head without a word. A ghost of a smile made its way to his face and before I knew it, I had snow in my mouth. I gagged, trying to not think about the dirty snow currently sliding down my throat. Jasper's laughter made it worth it. He stood up and took me with him, leading me back to the cafeteria. I saw the Cullens had reunited at their table, but my friends were still playing outside, the girls sitting round our respective table. I went to detach myself from the cold hand keeping me steady when I felt it tug me in the direction of the Cullens.

I tried slowing down, digging my heels into the snow. "No, no way, Rosalie wants to kill me," I said frantically. To hell with it if she could hear me, she should know I was scared of her. I saw Edward laugh and I scowled at him through the window.

By now, others had noticed I was with Jasper and the people stayed stunned. I didn't blame them. First, we're having a snowball fight, next I'm holding hands with the exclusive Cullen? Shocking. If it weren't me, if it was Bella and Edward? Well, I wouldn't be gossipping, but I'd be on Bella in a second asking for the details.

Jasper and I stopped in front of the double doors leading to my personal hell. He glanced down at me and said, "This is your last chance, Daniela. Once we walk through these doors, I'm not letting you go again."

I scoffed and crossed my arms, effectively losing contact with him. "The fact you think you have control over me is something we're going to have to work on, Jazz."

He smiled despite my words. "Alright, ma'am, whatever you say." He offered me the crook of his arm. "Shall we?"
Taking one last look through the windows and considering my chances of bolting and how fast Jasper could catch up to me, I cut my losses and accepted the offer. If I'm going to hell for dating a vampire, might as well make it interesting.

Once inside, I didn't look back; I kept my eyes trained on the Cullens. They, to their credit, were more discreet than the rest of the cafeteria, but that could be attested to their superhuman hearing and already knowing we were approaching. Jasper pulled out a seat for me, his southern charm in full force from now on. I sat stiffly, keeping my head down. To my shock, I was met with greetings form - mostly - everyone. Alice threw her arms around me in a hug from my side.

"I knew this would happen today," she whispered, so quiet I barely heard. Nobody at the table seemed to have heard, not even Jazz from my other side.

I patted her awkwardly on the back and said, "Next time, a little warning?"

She glared at me playfully, knowing she had been trying to tell me about different visions despite my not wanting to listen. I shrugged defensively.

Rosalie tossed her hair back. "So, to what do we owe the pleasure, human?"

I shrunk back in my chair at her derisive tone. The scene of her knocking my tray down like a cliched high school drama fresh in my mind. "Jasper and I talked."

"Oh, it only took you a month, I see. Not like we were all telling you to get over it for a month."

"Rosalie," Jasper said, warningly. "Lay off."

She scoffed. "I still think it's ridiculous. First you, then Edward. We're going to have a collection soon enough."

I stayed quiet as she continued her rant, thinking through my words carefully. "Rosalie," I started, almost stopping when her ochre eyes landed on me. "Rosalie, why don't you just want them happy? Aren't you? Why does it matter what Jazz and Edward do? Are you just projecting?"

Emmett covered his mouth to stifle his laughter. Edward bit his lip to hide his smirk. Alice, she looked away with a smile playing on her lips. Jasper gripped the seat behind me tighter. Rosalie? She was not happy.

She leaned forward across the table with a grace I could only imagine having. She nearly snarled as she spoke. "What this family does is of no importance to you. You don't belong with us. You don't understand the danger Jasper and Edward are putting us in. I don't care if the tracker is obsessing over you, I have better things to worry about."
Jasper growled from beside me, an animalistic sound I'd never heard. "I'm going to say it one more time, Rose. Back. Off."

She leaned back in her seat, picked up her tray, and strode off. She dumped the food in a nearby trash can and walked out the door to the rows of cars. I was captivated by her elegant fury.

"Is she always like that?" I asked, wary of her despite being fascinated.

"Pretty much always," Emmett said, head turning back to look at us seated with him. "She's feisty, all right." He chuckled to himself like there was an inside joke to get.

Jasper loosened his grip on my chair and scooted in closer instead. He glanced down at me. "Well, guess you're fulfilling one promise." I looked at him questioningly. He gestured to the table. "Here's most of my family. I'm sure you know Emmett by now through the gossip mill." He smirked.

I flushed as I looked everywhere but the vampires seated next to me. "It's not my fault Jessica is a big mouth and Bella has a million questions."

Edward's face hardened at the mention of the pale-skinned girl. "Right," was all he said. "About that. I'm going to stop trying to be good," he told me directly. "I'm going after her, I'm done trying to be the good guy."

My eyes wandered over to the table I would've been seated at. There sat Bella, wide-eyed and curious about how I ended up here. "Well, lucky for you, I know she's still curious. She's in too deep to," I whispered, more to myself, but I knew they heard it like I'd yelled it from the rooftops.

Alice, ever to the rescue, saved me from explaining my thoughts, albeit with a worse topic. "Dani, why'd you keep away for so long? Eddie wouldn't tell us anything."

"Thank God for that. You would've seen me try to take him down if he'd revealed my thoughts." Everyone left laughed at the preposterous scenario. "No, for real, Edward. You ever do that, you're going to find a gun to your head real quick."

He smiled, teasingly. "Good thing vampires are bulletproof." His face became somber. "But really, why did you stay away? Don't you think we all deserve to hear why?"

"Oh, stop playing martyr, just say you want me to confess. Besides, Jasper already knows why."

"But I don't!" Alice exclaimed. "Come on, tell us!" She shook my arm until I laughed and removed it from her bruising hold. "

"Fine, fine." As I thought over what I could say, I noticed the piercing gazes of the vampires in front of me. Self-preservation was key to their survival and letting me in significantly changed that. Yet here I was, grateful as could be to be given a second chance at this after fucking up once. My joking tone quickly vanished. "I- Jasper, Jazz was on the wrong side of history. That was really hard to overlook. The Confederacy stood for a lot I don't agree with, that no one should agree with. And I couldn't fathom Jasper being a part of that. Sure, I know about Maria now thanks to Alice, so fine, he did more damage with a vampire army than the Confederate army, but it was still a lot to take in. I guess it seems kind of ridiculous to you all. "

Emmett spoke up after a few beats of silence. "Well, we still are, on the wrong side of history, I mean. We're, you know, vampires and all that. Not really a good look for us, feasting on humans across the globe."

Alice turned her nose up. "Speak for yourself, I always look good."

Immediately, the tension dissipated and I felt more at peace knowing I had put my worries out there. I still wasn't going to jump Jasper's bones like everyone assumed I would - Edward held back laughter at that - I wanted to build up to it again. He may not be the same man he was then, but he still had a lot making up to do, namely for not telling me all this at once.

Too soon, lunch ended and I was, for the first time in a long while, happy to trek over to Spanish. Jasper and I walked through the halls with purpose. I didn't need a superpower to know he was exuding happiness, just like I was. It felt nice, not like I had been missing a part of me, but now Jasper felt like an extension of Dani Rivera. Even our Spanish teacher looked up from his desk to notice us walk in together.

Class began shortly after and we were working on the prepositional form.

I decided it would be fun to play around with the script; so long as we used the prepositions, I saw no harm in modifying.

"¿Para qué lo hiciste?"

Jasper looked confused, but played along. "¿Hizo para que?"

"Maria."
Understanding dawned on his face. "Ha, graciosa." He seemed to consider my words. "Amor, pasión, maravillas. Aventura, también."

I tried to not let my jealousy show. Of course he loved Maria and Maria loved him. Who wouldn't love Jasper? I scrunched my brows together and bit my lip, concentrating on not letting it show.

He put his hand over mine. "Sabes que lo siento, tus emociones. No las escondas."

I laughed despite myself. "Por supuesto."

I let the questions drop and returned to the script at hand. There was no use dwelling on the past for now. We continued in hushed tones, Jasper letting one hand rest on mine while he wrote down our answers. His script was beautiful - I guess that came with time, literally. Just as the bell rang for Gym, Jasper pulled me back down in my seat and said, "Call your mom, I'll take you home."

I looked at him with a smirk. "I thought we said we'd go slow this time around, cowboy."

He grinned at the nickname. "Yeah, and my mother is going to be keeping your mother late and she forgot to tell you." Before I could inquire how he knew, he said, simply, "Alice." I nodded in understanding.

I agreed to the ride, if only so I didn't have to walk home in the inevitable rain of Forks. At least if it meant rain today, then the beach day wouldn't be rainy.

Gym today was basketball and I decided to let my anger out on the game. A part of me was furious still about Maria, her changing Jasper, her falling in love with Jasper, and this part of me I was scared to let Jasper see. He would probably question the random surge in anger, and I'd tell him it came from Jessica - believable enough. It was towards the middle of class I noticed Bella wasn't in class. During our break, I went over to where everyone had congregated.
"Hey, guys, where's Bella?"

Mike scoffed loudly. "Ask Cullen. He decided to take over and took her to the nurse when I was already on my way with her. We did the blood type lab in Biology and she nearly fainted. Said something about not being good around blood. Guess she got out of Gym for it too." He shook his head and kept drinking water.

I frowned. I didn't need to ask which Cullen it was, I knew it was Edward, it made sense he wasn't in class then. Suddenly, I was worried about Jasper. Alice had mentioned he was the one with the least control over his thirst. It still baffles me how he was fine enough around me, and made sense why he thought I'd be scared of him. If Biology was doing this all day, how was he faring?

I turned away from the group as they started talking about the beach day tomorrow. I told them I'd be there at ten and made my way to my bag, rifling through it for my phone. I found it and contemplated sending the text.

In that split second, I received a message from Alice.

he's ok. don't worry.

thank you 3

Satisfied, I decided to not bother Jazz. Maybe he skipped class, he deserved it. We got back to playing basketball. The bell rang.

I thought in short sentences and acted quickly, aching for the time to speed up. Since lunch, my heart was slowly rising out of my stomach. It felt like a fog had lifted. Bella and I suffered a lot in the past month, whether from heart ache or confusion, and I was happy to see it fade. Bella had opened up to me in the past month about her depression, and I subsequently opened up to her about my own issues. I had invited her over a few weeks ago, something Chief Swan and my mom were too happy about. We had a movie night and we eventually got to talking about the Cullens.

"Do you ever regret having met them?" she asked me. She was playing with the edge of my comforter and avoided my gaze.

I thought long and hard about it. One part of me was upset I had met them, I wouldn't lie. It was frustrating to know them, to care about Jasper especially, and be pushed out. Even if that pushing was done by me, the point stands. To Bella's knowledge and everyone else, we just had a falling out; they had no idea Jasper had been a Confederate soldier. On the other hand, the way I was drawn to the Cullens was like I had been fated to meet them. Before them, hell, I didn't believe in destiny. But after befriending Edward, Alice, Jasper. I couldn't picture a life without them in it. I didn't let my mind wander over into vampire territory necessarily, I was just really happy to know them. I wouldn't let myself think about it just yet. I was still mad. I was hurt. I was…

"I guess, sometimes. When it gets really hard to push away the bad thoughts I wonder why I couldn't have just existed tangentially to them rather be shoved into the middle of it. But then some other times, well," I paused, smiling. "I just get so happy I could've known them beyond their facades if only for a short while. The day Jasper kissed me," I heard Bella gasp - she certainly hadn't known that, "it was like magic. Like I could breathe easy for the first time in my life. And I still don't know why, so I guess I can't push them all the way out because I need to know why that happened. Does that make sense or do I just sound crazy?"

I was met with a rush of warmth as Bella threw her arms around me , squeezing me in what I guessed was solidarity. I patted her back awkwardly, not knowing if I should hug back or comfort her because she must have been going through it to act like this. When she pulled away eventually, she had tear streaks down her cheeks.

"Oh, Bella." I wiped away the tears and took it as my turn to comfort her.

"I just don't understand him," she said through sobs. "One minute we're fine, the next he's cold. I can't get a grasp on him and it, it sucks!"

I rubbed her back comfortingly, keeping my thoughts to myself. I knew why he didn't want to get close, it's why Jasper was so afraid at first. Bella was strong, and she liked Edward a lot, I knew they would push past this. Me? I wasn't so sure.

I went to the locker room to change, effectively tuning out the din of the girls talking around me. I wanted to be out of here as soon as possible to see Jasper. After remembering that night, it got me thinking why I wasn't so sure about Jasper and I. It was magic. It was a fairytale, a macabre one, but a fairytale nonetheless. The boy got the girl after years of wandering the earth and suffering. Girl finds joy amidst a crazy family rivaling her own craziness. Like magic.

I said my goodbyes to the girls and headed off to the front of the school. I had butterflies not just in my stomach, but they fluttered through my veins from top to bottom. I felt like I would start flying at any moment. And then my eyes found him and they multiplied exponentially. He was standing with his siblings in front of the red convertible and the Volvo. I was too far to hear what they were saying, but I could tell Jasper was in a good mood. It soothed my heart to know that so many people pricking their fingers and drawing blood didn't dampen his mood. He'd probably skipped anyway and came back.

I drew closer to them and waved once they finally turned to see me. Jasper flashed me a smile that almost brought me to my knees, and by the look of his smug expression, I knew he sensed it. He walked over to me and supported me by the waist, dipping his head into my hair and inhaling.

"Hello to you too," I said, wrapping my arm around his waist while I was at it. There was no such thing as too much contact with him now. We could just be very flirty friends, or really big on physical touch. We just don't kiss, that's the plan. I saw Edward laugh and quickly cover his face as I glared at him. I started thinking about Bella and only Bella to get a rise out of him. Two could play mind games. He glared at me soon enough and stopped it.

"Now that she's here, can we leave?" Rosalie asked impatiently, tapping her foot against the asphalt, her heel clicking to a rhythm. Even the way she did that captivated me.

"Yes, Rose, we can."

They all made their way into the convertible while Jasper led me to the silver car, Edward throwing the keys over to him. He opened the passenger side door and I was struck with laughter as I realized maybe the Southern charm part of this was okay. He looked at me strangely before letting it go, sliding into the driver seat in seconds and turning on the ignition. Rosalie pulled out ahead of us. Jasper lingered in the parking lot, thought. He turned up the heat and fiddled with a few buttons, settling for bringing down the windows. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was nervous. Of what, though, I wasn't sure.

He laughed. "How right, you are, ma'am."

My hands flew to my mouth. "Oh, shit, I didn't mean to say that out loud." I pulled my hands away. "What did I say, exactly?"
He gave me a crooked smile and I almost felt all my self-control go out the window. I was sure he felt that. "Something about me being nervous, was it? You're right, in any case. I am nervous."

"But why, Jazz? What's up?"

He shook his head, and drove out of the parking lot, leaving me guessing until we hit the main road in quiet, the only sound coming from the humming engine. I was conflicted. One part of me wanted to touch him, any part of him to give him comfort, but the other wasn't sure how he would react. I chose the former.

I reached out with a tentative hand and placed it on his knee. It didn't take much to notice how he froze. He practically stopped breathing. He slowly, but gently, grabbed my hand and placed it back in my lap. I tried not to look dejected.

Jasper sighed. "You know I can feel your emotions, right?"

I laughed bitterly. "Right, forgot about that. Sorry."

"Dani, please, don't take it personally," he pleaded. "I'm just having a hard time being around you right now." I looked at him bemused. "The hot air makes it stuffy, and then your scent just fills the car… hence the windows being down. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."

"No, it's okay, I should be the one apologizing. You just looked so sad. I didn't know what to do."

He chuckled. "It's fine, really, I'm just what you could call the weak link in the family - they were really hesitant to let me drive you home alone today for that reason."

I turned in my seat to stare at his profile. His jaw was clenched, his posture too stiff. "What do you mean by weakest link?"
"It means, sometimes I slip up."

"Slip up… as in?"

His hands clenched around the steering wheel so tight I was sure it would be dented afterwards. "As in I do things I'm not proud of later, as in I smell blood and I… I slip up."

Enlightenment dawned on me. And suddenly all I wanted was to cradle this poor soul to my chest. And that was the crazy part of me talking. Only someone crazy would be thinking about hugging someone who slipped up and tasted human blood. Only someone crazy would even think about letting that person in. And here I was.

"Jasper, pull over."

He glanced at me inquisitively, but did what I said regardless. He pulled over on the shoulder of the road and turned off the car. I breathed in deeply and mentally prepared myself for what I was about to do. I got out of the car and walked into the forest. I walked quickly into the foliage, knowing Jasper would follow, if only to keep me from doing something stupid. He was muttering curses until we were far away enough from the road no one would see him flash from one place to the next. He was in front of me in mere milliseconds, holding onto my shoulder to stop me from moving farther in.

"Are you going to explain what you're doing, or are you going to make me guess?"

I didn't answer him, I only placed my hands on his chest. I raised my head until I could just barely feel his cool breath on my lips. My hands snaked around to hold onto the back of his neck and pull him down.

"Dani," he whispered. "Do you even know what you're doing to me?"

"Show me."

And our lips met. It was a flurry of emotions. Desperation, hope, care, lust. He had no hold over my emotions, I could feel it all on his lips. He was communicating his fears the way he just barely placed his hands on my waist. I yanked him down further, grabbing a fistful of his hair to tug. I wasn't going to let him go. He had to see he wouldn't hurt me in my most vulnerable state. I could feel my lungs gasping for air, my heart beating all too fast against his chest, and his shaking hands were telling me he could hear it.

I pulled away momentarily. Panting, I said, "You can do better than that, cowboy."

Jasper's ochre eyes turned black. Waves of lust rushed over me and I was lost again in his grip, now pushing me flush against his body. His hands gripped my hips, waist, hair, anything he could grab onto. It was a struggle to pull away for a second time, but I did. This time, though, I looked at Jasper's dark eyes and caressed his face as gently as I could. He looked like a marble statue. Carved to perfection for a museum where no one could touch, yet he was letting me in.

"You see?" I mumbled, still dizzy from the kiss. "You can't hurt me, Jazz."

Jasper looked at me with a million emotions on his face. It was then I wished I could manipulate emotions, if only just to soothe his worries. "You're brave, ma'am," was all he told me. He picked up a section of my hair to his nose and breathed in deeply. He let go and took hold of one of my wrists next. My blood pumped faster in anticipation, not fear. He could do this. He was strong enough. He brushed his nose against one of the prominent veins, and he went so far as to kiss it. I could just barely feel his teeth on my wrist before he pulled away and stood feet away from me again. He looked so heartbroken.

"Jasper, I trust you, I know you wouldn't do anything."

"I don't trust myself."

I huffed and placed my hands on my hips. "So what was today all about then? Would you rather I go back to ignoring your existence and for both of us to be in pain again? Because that sucked, Jasper, and so long as I'm living and I can't be near you it's going to suck. Just let me in," I repeated his own words back to him, hoping for a reaction.

"You said it yourself, so long as you're living. Daniela, I'm dead, I'm a vampire, you're a human. It doesn't work well."

"Then what about Edward and Bella? What about them? Jazz, you've done so well so far, you have to see that. Edward nearly killed Bella that first day, didn't he? And he's fine now, he's got it under control. What's so different between you guys?"

"Nearly a century of abstaining from blood, I'd say," he remarked darkly. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and turned away from me.

"No, you don't, Jasper, don't turn away from me. This can be solved!"

"It's only going to be solved if there's no blood in you left!"

I didn't need a superpower to sense the deep pain he must have felt. But I was hurting too. "So was today for nothing? Was what you just did for nothing?" I started, gearing up for the worst of it. "Jasper, you're a fucking hypocrite. Don't ask me to not build walls if all you have to offer is walls nothing can break through. That kiss showed me you won't kill me at my most vulnerable. Hell, your teeth were right up against my vein and you didn't kill me. That has to stand for something! You can't beat yourself up over 'what if?', Jazz. You need to live. You can't do that if you're always so afraid." I stalked up to him and pulled his hands out of his pockets. "If you were going to kill me, no would be your chance." I placed his hands at my throat, closing them with my own hands. I was literally offering myself on a silver platter. Now this was insanity. "If you're going to do it, do it. But don't fucking tell me it won't be solved unless you've drained me. You're better than that."

His hands tightened around my neck for a second, so fast I thought I'd imagined it. But then his hands were at his side and he put his head on my shoulder, holding onto my hands with his. His nose brushed against my neck, breathing in once, twice.

"I don't know how to get rid of you," he confessed.

"Then don't," I whispered back. "I'm not going anywhere anymore. I'm staying right here. I told you I was delusional." We both shared a laugh at that. He might have been unhinged once, but I had spent the past few years crazy, so what wasn't there to laugh about?

We stayed like that until we could see the light filtering in lower through the trees. It was then Jasper separated himself from me, and was in the shade quicker than I could blink. I smirked.

"What? Vampires burn in the sub?"

He smiled, crookedly again, humor restored to his expression. "Something like that. I'll show you someday. But we should head home for now."

I agreed and made my way over to him. I was thankful he'd stopped me from going too deep into the forest, I didn't feel like hiking after all of that drama - I don't think my body could handle the physical distress after the emotional.

We silently climbed in the car and I took a moment to raise the passenger side window. He gave me an incredulous look. I shrugged.

"What? I was cold."

He laughed, exasperated. "You'll be the death of me, woman."

"And here I thought it was the opposite," I said sarcastically.

He rolled his eyes as he started the car back up again. With how he drove, nobody would notice our little detour, it would be like we were right on time. I relaxed against the leather seat.

"You like car rides, I see." I nodded. "Wait until you see how we run then, it's practically like being in a car, just faster."

I snorted. "I highly doubt it's as comfortable, Jazz."

He raised an eyebrow. "Touche, ma'am."

The rest of the car ride was quiet, but it was okay this time. As we neared my house, I thought back to the kisses we had shared in the forest. I felt ridiculous, telling him one thing and acting another. I sighed. Jasper either picked up on my mood or the sigh alarmed him because he reached out a hand and placed it on my knee comfortingly.

"Jazz, I know I said we should try to be friends first, but after that, I'm really not sure. I don't think I can control myself."

Jasper seemed to think that was the funniest thing ever. His eyes lit up and in that moment I was captivated by the gold in his eyes. I don't know how Alice had convinced me they were contacts. They were too pretty, too authentic to ever replicate. His eyes changed as fast as his mood and I couldn't help but be fascinated. I was in too deep.