Have you heard of the multiverse theory?

It is said, that there is an infinite number of universes, and every one of them manifests itself in a shape of a mixture of every possible outcome – which means there may be a universe where swords and magic exist or a universe where the roman empire did not fall.

My next question is: have you ever heard of a country called Russia?

You may wonder how these questions relate to each other, so let me tell you what happened to me and how I am in a situation right now which cant be explained by logic.

I am a university student, who went to study abroad in Russia.

What my nationality was, is not important, because first of all, I am no longer in this world, and secondly, because there are more important things to know about me: for example, I was a true meme lord – I always had the right memes for every situation and considered myself intellectually above the mere human.

Either way because of my supreme humor and suicide jokes I got easily along with the locals in Russia.

So yesterday an acquaintance there called Igor, texted me that I should come over to him since he made some homemade vodka.

I am not really someone who drinks a lot, but I thought since I am here in Russia I should definitely try some homemade stuff.

Little did I know that fuckin Igor brewed something which literally wasted me so hard, that I woke up in a different world – or rather reincarnated.

I do not know how and why, but my memories suddenly returned to me when I was 3 years old, and to my shock, I recognized that this was not earth but still a world I knew: yes, it was the world of Naruto...

Even though I really enjoyed Naruto when I was a kid, and read some bad Chinese fanfics, truth to be told I am not happy to be isekaid here, the reason being that I am some nameless mob and secondly:

WHERE IS MY CHEAT SYSTEM????

After the initial shock from the realization of my incarnation, I calmed down and observed my situation.

First of all my name is Eiji Nakamura - a normal-sounding japanese name - which I am quite happy about since there exist strange names in this world which can only be described as child abuse like for example Boruto or naming a girl after a muscular sword-wielding barbarian.

HOWEVER, what I am not happy about is, is that I and my family are complete mob characters - you may ask why I am so certain of this...

Well, I don't remember having seen any Nakamuras in the anime and my parents aren't even Jonin. THEY ARE ONLY CHUNIN EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE ALREADY IN THEIR THIRTIES!!!!

That is not even the saddest part...they were only promoted recently to Chunin because they somehow survived the rampage of the Nine-Tails in the village. They really didn't do anything other than standing on standby and watching over the Barrier which protected all the children myself included.

I guess the promotion was to the fact, that my mother just gave 2 weeks prior birth to me and she wasn't in her peak condition to fight but still choose to - but honestly, I doubt that it would really make a difference performance-wise.

They are that kind of shinobi that can only use some basic ninjutsu like the transformation technique and throw some kunai.

To be fair, they aren't part of any shinobi family, so they don't have any special ninjutsu...but still...

Anyway, my father's name is Satoshi and my mother's is Kimiko. Apparently, they both come from non-shinobi families.

My father didn't want to inherit his family business and instead wanted to become a shinobi. If I had to describe him, the term complete braindead would fit him best.

When I asked him why he wanted to become a shinobi instead of inheriting the business he said: "Son, in this world u can't have a harem if you are only a tanner. The only way to assemble a harem is to become a great shinobi!! I failed at my dream, but I am confident that you will carry it on and assemble a harem of...huh?...Darling, what do you intend to do with this pan?"

My mother chose to become a kunoichi to support her family financially. Even though she is also weak, at least she isn't brain-dead like my father and is overall a pretty serious and strict person.

It looks like I inherited appearance-wise much more from her side: black hair and a grumpy looking face.

So anyway, I am now 5 years old, and normally when you regain your memories from a past life you should be careful to not act differently, right?

To tell the truth...I kinda forgot to pay attention to it...but I don't know how but things somehow worked out and my parent's behavior towards me is still the same.

Satoshis POV

5 years ago, roughly the time the fox spirit attacked the village, my son was born.

By the way, many people in the village would curse when they think about this day, but for me, it was a lucky day!

I just stood there doing nothing, while others fought at the front-lines, and when this whole thing ended I was suddenly promoted to Chunin?!

Well anyway, at first I and my wife were really worried; Eiji, our son, was a bit slow and not considered very smart...he was one of the kids who would eat glue if you didn't pay attention to him for even a second.

Because I was worried I went to a shop which sells pills for shinobis.

When I told the old granny there, if she had any pills for brain power, she gave me a special one and told me, that it should be only used in emergencies on the battlefield because it has tremendous side effects.

I always knew I was smart, but giving a stupid child brain enhancement pills was one of my best ideas I ever had!

I wonder why no one had the idea before me? I should definitely publish this idea.

Anyway, when I came back I instantly gave him the pill, that is when my wife Kimiko came home.

She asked me what I was doing, and when I explained to her my brilliant plan...well I only remember her face which looked like she wants to kill me - hey there is no reason to be that jealous that I was the one who came up with this smart idea.

Weirdly enough I passed out after that, and when I woke up I had fist-prints all over my face, life is truly mysterious at times.

Well sometimes later Kimiko came home with our son, apparently, they were at the hospital - huh? did my son have the flu or something?

After that, he behaved a bit weird but since he doesn't eat glue anymore everything is should be fine - only that Kimiko is still upset even now.

Is she still jealous of my genius idea?

You are always staying in your room they said...

Go to the park and make some friends they said...

Now I'm here at the park sitting on a bench and watching other children.

"I have no idea"

How the hell do shitty brats make friends with each other???

Hmmm...in my university days you just had to offer some free beer so maybe...no better not.

WAIT!!!

Why do I even think about shitty brats!

The world of Naruto is a dangerous place to live!!!

Let's get my mind back to a more important topic.

Since I regained my memories I have come up with some options:

Option 1: living a quiet life as a non-shinobi...even in the unlikely scenario where I miraculously survive till the end of Naruto, what would only await me would be the era of Boruto - where damn aliens invade the planet day and night!!!

Option 2: Obtaining somehow a Sharingan or a tailed beast...nah - if I wanted to commit suicide might as well do it less painfully.

Option 3: Get strong enough to be able to travel the world and then just hide in some unimportant place...

Yeah, option 3 is probably the best.

So then the next question would be how strong would be good enough?

I should be at least strong enough to be able to deal with multiple small fries right?

So I guess around Jonin level?

Ok, that seems achievable even for a mob like me.

So next would be how can I achieve this?

If I just follow the normal shinobi career path with going to the academy and then just doing missions, I would just end up like my parents who only know how to throw some kunai around.

So to be Jonin level I would need some real ninjutsu,

I think when you are a Chunin you can learn some elemental ninjutsu from scrolls which you can borrow...wait what the hell are my parents even doing?

If they learned some I could ask them to train me...but I guess they are just glad that they aren't Genin anymore.

They really have no ambition at all...well my Dad has an ambition but let's not talk about that.

Anyways so that means I just have to advance to Chunin, learn some decent ninjutsu, and then defect.

I would be considered a wanted rouge ninja and would be in the Bingo Book, but it is still better than being forced to fight a rampaging Madara.

Graduating from the academy should be easy since I know which jutsu is tested as the graduation exam.

Yeah that will be as easy for me as stealing candy from children hehehehe

I also know the content of the Chunin Exams where Naruto and the rest will be participating.

That won't be as easy though.

First of all, I need to make sure that my assigned Jonin will allow me to participate in this particular exams.

Furthermore, I need to impress the staff there, so I can be promoted like Shikamaru.

But this will be really hard, considering how stupidly strong some of this generation will be - I legit will be competing against monsters.

But the problem is, is that if I don't participate in this particular exam, I'm not confident at all that I will be able to pass future Chunin Exams without abusing my future knowledge!!!

Just look at the dumb first test!!

How is a normal person supposed to know that you have to cheat!!!

So then the only thing I can do is to make sure that I will be strong enough till then.

Yeah...asking my parents to train me will be a waste of time so let's just look somewhere else.

Well, somehow it was fruitful going outside to think things through so let's head back home...

But why do I have the feeling that I forgot something?

"Oh welcome home Eiji, were you able to make some friends?"

Oh right...

"Yeah I'm now in friendship with nature and decided to live in the woods, I just came here to tell you"

"..."

"I'm just joking. Anyway, what's for dinner?"

While walking inside I hear my mother muttering: "this damn pill made him weird..."

I wonder what she is talking about?