Disclaimer: I do not own Frozen nor its characters, nor do I own any characters from other Disney works. Disney owns everything - including my heart, soul, and wallet.
Chapter 5 - Blindsided
Elsa had spent most of her final class of the week replaying her last interaction with Anna over and over in her head; evaluating and re-evaluating and second-guessing her decision to feign unfeeling indifference. The way she'd walked away from… no... abandoned Anna at the end of the previous period left her feeling hollow. However, there was no turning back now. The damage was done. Like buildings crumble to ruins over time or funny shaped snowmen melt in the sun, Elsa was sure their friendship would erode in the wake of her assumed apathy.
"How was your Friday, Miss Elsa?" Gerda asked her as Elsa climbed into the passenger seat.
"It was fine," she lied.
"I'm glad. Ready to go home?"
No, definitely not. Her home felt too spacious yet overly stifling at the same time. It was only herself and her father living in the grand house that had been passed through her family for generations, but it was usually just Elsa there since her dad worked so much it was almost as if he lived at his office instead. Sure, Gerda and her husband, Kai, also lived at the Manor in a small private wing, but the majority of the place remained unused. Furnished for people that were never around, like dioramas of a life that once was. The emptiness made Elsa feel agoraphobic while the heaviness in the air of memories passed settled as a weight on her shoulders. She really would rather be anywhere else right now. "Actually, are my skates still in the trunk? Could we maybe go to the rink first?"
Gerda's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Are you not tired?"
"No, I'm tired, but I feel good," Elsa said slowly as she mentally assessed herself. Gerda sent her a questioning look. "Please, Gerda? I really miss the ice."
"It may not be a good idea, Miss Elsa. Your father has invited guests over for dinner tonight and you're expected to be there. What would I tell him if you tire yourself out too much to attend?" Gerda asked but caved at the puppy dog eyes Elsa made at her, the one weapon at Elsa's disposal that she knew Gerda was defenseless against. Gerda took a left, toward the Ice Palace instead of the Manor. "Oh alright, but I will need to drop you off as I have to head back to the Manor to prepare dinner. I'll send Kai to pick you up in a couple hours."
"A couple of hours is all I ask," Elsa said, perfect smile shining radiantly in the afternoon light pouring through the windshield. "Thanks, Gerda."
"Don't worry, Anna. Just hold onto me like this," Elsa said, holding Anna's right hand in her left, her own palm face up so that Anna's hand rested on top. Elsa tucked Anna's elbow into the crook of hers so that Anna could use her full forearm to support herself on Elsa. The girls believed that Elsa being left handed and Anna being right was further proof they were always meant to be best friends. Like complementary halves of a whole, able to support each other on the side they needed it the most. "I won't let you fall."
"We both know it's me that will make you fall," Anna mumbled nervously as they slid out onto the rink. Anna was just as graceful on the ice as she was on the land. That is to say, not.
Elsa, on the other hand, had been taking figure skating lessons since she was four. Their mothers had taken them to a skating rink for Elsa's birthday that year and everyone was surprised when Elsa took to the ice as if she were born to glide along a frozen surface. Her mother found the best coach in the greater Bay Area and secured Elsa's enrollment by the end of the day. Even at just eight years-old, Elsa's natural talent was evident and her coach was already implying that a trip to the Winter Olympics in 2022 was easily within grasp.
Anna was clinging both to Elsa and the wall as they made their way onto the ice. When Elsa tried to pull her more toward the center of the rink, Anna shook her head desperately.
"No no no… I can't do this, Elsa," Anna lamented. "Remember what happened the last time I tried skating with you?"
Elsa did, of course, as it was one of the scariest experiences of her life. It was about a year ago. Elsa was showing Anna some of the simple jumps she'd mastered in her training and didn't notice when Anna decided to glide out onto the ice to join her. She definitely didn't notice when Anna had tried a jump she'd seen Elsa do. It wasn't until Elsa heard a scream that she turned to see Anna crumpled on the ice and she sped as fast as she could to reach her. Anna had unfortunately broken her arm when she tried to catch herself. She'd been too fearful to try skating again until now.
"You can do this, I promise. Here," Elsa said as she spun around to stand in front of Anna, skating backward slowly as she took both of Anna's hands in hers. "Just focus on bending your knees and keeping your balance. I'll pull you with me." They did a couple laps this way before Elsa encouraged Anna to start moving her feet in small movements to help propel herself forward. "That's it, you've got it."
"Wait, what are you doing? Where are you going!?" Anna asked as Elsa let go of her hands and continued to skate backward toward the center of the ice.
"I said you got it. Just come this way."
"Oh no! No way, sister. I refuse! I'm going back to sit down," Anna shouted back at her. Just as she turned around, she heard a crinkling sound coming from Elsa's direction and looked back over her shoulder to find that Elsa was unwrapping a bar of chocolate. "Hey! We're supposed to share that!"
"I know," Elsa said and she took a big bite. "So you should get over here quick before I eat the whole thing."
"You wouldn't dare!"
Elsa answered by slowly and deliberately taking another large bite, raising her eyebrows in a clear, playful taunt. She watched as Anna debated with herself, looking toward the safety offered by the stands and back to Elsa enjoying their candy bar without her. A look of determination settled across her face and she began timidly stepping her way toward Elsa. Anna did well for her first few steps before she nearly took a tumble as her skate slid outward unexpectedly. Elsa's eyes widened in horror, but she let out a breath of relief when Anna managed to right herself.
"I'm okay!" Anna said, arms out wide in an attempt to increase her sense of balance. She looked back up at Elsa with a grin. "And I'm coming for that chocolate."
"I'd like to see you try," Elsa teased. Just as Anna was almost in arms reach, Elsa began drifting backward again.
"Hey! No fair! You have to stay still."
"Says who?" Elsa said around yet another large mouthful of melting chocolate. She steadily picked up the pace and was pleased when Anna kept up with her. Elsa shoved the last bit of the chocolate bar in her mouth and grinned. She quickly spun around to be behind Anna, narrowly avoiding the red-head's hand as she reached out for her. Elsa gently tugged on the tail of Anna's shirt that was sticking out from underneath her sweater in order to help her slow down. They hadn't exactly gone over how to stop yet.
"I cannot believe you finished the whole thing," Anna said, seething with anger and disappointment. She stood there in the middle of the rink, arms crossed, head turned determinedly away from Elsa. "You broke your promise."
"Anna," Elsa said gently.
"No."
"Anna, just look."
"Nope. I'm upset with you."
"Okay, I guess I'll just eat yours then."
"Wait. What?" Anna turned to see Elsa holding out an unopened bar of chocolate. Smiling, Anna took the offer. "You didn't say you'd brought two bars of chocolate."
"I know how to motivate you," Elsa said with a shrug.
Anna took a bite and looked around. She realized the exit was way on the other side of the rink and her eyes grew wide. "Um, you wouldn't happen to have another of these? I'm not sure I can make it off the ice without a little more encouragement."
"Well if it isn't Elsa Arendelle," a cross voice called from behind her as Elsa pulled out of a long held layback spin. "It's been a long time. I'm surprised you even know how to stay upright on those blades of yours."
I see she's still upset, Elsa thought as she turned to see her coach. Or rather, former coach.
About eight months ago, when Elsa told former Olympian Casey Carlyle that she was hanging up her skates, her coach was incensed and Elsa couldn't really blame her. Casey had put a lot of time and effort into Elsa's development, passing on other up-and-coming figure skaters to focus on solely her because she believed that Elsa was destined to accomplish what she could not - win Olympic Gold.
"Hey, Coach," she tried to be light and airy, but her nerves made her voice crack, coming out squeaky like a boy on the cusp of puberty. Casey made an irritated sort of harumph in acknowledgement. Her coach had always been an intense character; her training extending past the ice rink as she tutored Elsa in math and physics. She explained that understanding the logic and numbers behind her movements would only aid in her ability to master the jumps and spins. She always pushed Elsa a little more every training session, succeeding more than once to bring her to tears. "How have you been?"
"How have you been?" Casey asked instead. Elsa frowned, eyebrows knitting together as she scrutinized her coach. "You know, I spoke to your father sometime ago? Tried to appeal to him to force you to continue your training after you unceremoniously abandoned me."
Abandoned. More misdeeds to add to the list it seems, Elsa mused. "Oh?"
"He told me about therapy," Casey said more delicately. Elsa fixated on her skates, focused intensely on the ice shavings clinging to the blades instead of the anxiety building in her chest. "I've known you since you were four, Elsa. You could have told..."
"Have you picked up anyone new?" Elsa interrupted. It was inelegant and obtrusive and everything that was Elsa's opposite whenever she was on the ice. She got her point across though and her coach obliged, dropping the current course of conversation.
"I'm working on it," Casey said as the door to the rink slammed open. "Speaking of which…"
Four little skaters came out onto the ice. Casey looked at them and raised her hand up, pointing to the ceiling before drawing a few quick circles in the air indicating that they should start with a few laps to warm up. She then looked back at Elsa and smiled. "You staying a while? The little one with the pigtail braids is going to be my next star. Just five years old. I want you to work with her today."
"So... what do you think?"
"That people cheering on cheerleaders who aren't themselves cheering on sports players is rather circuitous, but I enjoyed the show," Elsa said as she and Anna bought some snacks at the concession stand. Anna was starting to get restless as they awaited the results of the Junior Division category, having finished the routine with her squad a couple hours earlier. There were still a few more teams to go, so her mom handed her some cash and Anna welcomed the distraction, dragging Elsa along with her.
"Elsa, how many times do I have to tell you? We're ten… well, I'm still ten, you're eleven... and I don't read the dictionary for fun like you do. What's 'circui…' What was it?"
"Circuitous. It means roundabout," Elsa said, staring at her feet as they made their way back, taking a small sip from the brightly colored slush drink they were sharing. "And I don't read the dictionary for fun."
"I know, I'm only teasing," Anna said with a bright smile, but Elsa didn't look up so Anna backtracked the conversation. "What did you think of my aerial stunts?"
"They're scary," Elsa whispered, looking back up to meet Anna's eyes. "They throw you so high. You could get very hurt."
"Yeah, but I trust them to catch me. I've broken more bones and sprained more joints playing at the Manor than I have being tossed in the air for cheer."
Elsa only nodded and the conversation dropped. It had been hard lately, keeping conversations going with Elsa. She had been withdrawn, constantly lost so deeply in her own thoughts that Anna had resorted to shaking her by the shoulders on multiple occasions in order to gain her attention. Anna hadn't seen Elsa smile in months, but she didn't blame her. It was to be expected really. What made it unbearable was that Elsa wouldn't talk to her about how she was feeling and Anna didn't know how to make her.
"You were like the sun."
Bright and brilliant, her mind finished the thought. Anna stopped walking, the familiar words squeezing her heart and tears started forming involuntarily in the corners of her eyes. Elsa took a couple more steps before realizing that Anna wasn't next to her anymore. She turned around to look back at her; eyebrows scrunched together, clearly confused.
"What?" Anna whispered.
"That's what Mama would have said if she..." Elsa trailed off, looking back down at her feet again. She watched Elsa close her eyes and take a shaky breath. "'Anna was like the sun. Bright and brilliant, hanging over everyone and casting her light on the crowd.' I understand it now."
Be strong for her, Anna. A familiar voice rang in her ears as Elsa recited the phrase Mama Jules always said to Anna when watching her competitions. She inhaled deeply and willed the tears not to fall. Shoving the pack of M&Ms into her jacket pocket, she took Elsa's free hand, giving it a small squeeze to make Elsa look up.
"I miss her too," was all Anna could think to say. The sentiment felt lacking. Anything she could think of to tell Elsa how much she understood, how she'd always be right here, all of it, felt monumentally inadequate. But then the corners of Elsa's mouth quirked up slightly, a smile so minuscule and brief it was almost missed, and Anna knew.
It was enough.
"Tough day, sweetie?" Iduna asked as she pulled her daughter's bags off of her and delicately pushed Anna's bangs from her eyes as she coaxed the girl awake.
Anna was dead tired. Coach Lana had run a pure conditioning session for the first cheerleading practice of the school year and she was pretty sure she'd left her lungs somewhere along the school's track. She didn't even make it to her bedroom. Instead Anna collapsed face first on the floor in the living room, cheerleading duffle and backpack still on. That was how her mother found her when she arrived home after her day at the auction house.
"Two miles..." Anna whined, still lying prone on the faux fur rug. "Coach made us run two miles today and then we did some strength training afterward. Everything feels like jello. I have sore muscles I didn't even know existed. Are there muscles in your ear lobes? Because I swear I pulled something there."
Iduna laughed softly. "I don't think so, but what do I know? I deal in antiquities. We can ask my boyfriend at dinner tonight. Unless you're too tired?"
"I am, but, for you, I'll manage," Anna said, groaning as she made a show of peeling herself off of the floor laboriously. "Though, I think I need a nap… and promises of ice cream to get me through it."
"The place we're going has a delicious chocolate soufflé."
That quickly perked Anna up a bit. "As good as Gerda's?"
"You could say that," Iduna said with a mischievous smile that Anna didn't quite understand. She was too overwhelmingly tired to question it though. "Now go wash up. You can nap in the car."
And nap she did. Everything over the last hour or so felt like a blur, beginning with stepping into the bathroom. The warmth and steam of her hot shower as she massaged her sore muscles nearly put her to sleep right there; memories of crowded bleachers, clouds of hairspray, and her flying above it all, like the sun hanging in the sky, still floating through her head. But now her mom was gently shaking her shoulder in an attempt to stir the sleeping girl awake for a second time that night. Anna could hardly remember even getting into the car.
"Come on, little duck. It's time for dinner." Her mother was leaning over her from the open passenger side door of what a confused Anna assumed was their Prius. Iduna unbuckled Anna's seatbelt and wiped the drool from the side of Anna's mouth like she did when her daughter was much smaller. Anna heard her mother chuckle slightly. "You really are tired, but you'll feel much better after you eat something."
"I feel like I could eat an elephant and then sleep for a year," she said with a yawn, climbing out of the car and up the steps, whimpering slightly as her tired muscles protested the additional exertion after an afternoon of hard endurance training. She nearly tripped on the last ledge, groggily unaware of her surroundings. Anna heard a doorbell ring. Why is there a doorbell at a restaurant?
"Ah, Miss Iduna. Miss Anna. It is so good to have you home," came a familiar voice.
Anna's eyes shot wide open, suddenly awake. Sure enough - there was Gerda standing at the threshold of Arendelle Manor, and, just past her, a platinum blonde girl looking visibly distressed was frozen in place halfway through her descent down the staircase.
A/N: Sorry for the (kind of) cliffhanger, but I decided the actual dinner deserves it's own chapter. I figured everyone has at least figured this bit out so far anyway. So! Next chapter is (finally) the dinner and the end of Act I. At this rate, I'm thinking this is going to be close to 20 chapters... or perhaps well over? It's hard to gauge at this point. Thank you for reading! And thanks so far for the follows, faves, and comments :)
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!