Walking south was tedious, Verona had decided, no wonder they invented faster ways to travel this took forever. They said they were making progress though, so that was good. She shared some conversation with people as she walked, learning that they were going slightly west now, but when they got to the main road south they would let her know… the person that told her was nervous when he said it, so it put her on edge immediately. She sought Jon out to talk.

"So we're going west now… I'm thinking about leaving soon, just going south. Will you still help me?" she asked him carefully.

"Of course, I promised didn't I?" He reassured her, she didn't sense any deception in his tone. She nodded thankfully. Then thought of something else to ask.

"Will you really go back, now that you're with Ygritte?"

She could hear Jon sputter is surprise, stammering over a reply.

"Its alright you know, I'm not judging you. People with different backgrounds fall in love all the time." Now she was reassuring him.

"That happens a lot, where you're from?" He asks her, regarding her with a considering expression.

"Sure that happens, maybe not so much lately admittedly, not with all the fighting… sort of like here but with more people." She explains, looking thoughtful but also sad.

Verona continued, seemingly lost in thought.

"There were so many people… so many different points of view. I thought everyone could live together, when I was young. That even with such, different perspectives, people could just… agree they could be different. But there's always conflict, when large groups of people get together.

"Even here, I see the same thing. Some people like serving a lord, it gives them purpose, a feeling that their lives mean something. Like people who joined the army back home. Some, like to go where they want, when they want, and don't think anyone is entitled to tell them what to do… I knew a lot of people like that. But one's not, better than the other. There's not one type of person in the world, people are just… different."

Jon was quiet awhile after that, thinking about what she shared. If that was really how she saw their people, and their conflict with each other. If it really was that simple to an outside perspective. She might be talking about her own people more than them though, at least that's what Jon was inclined to think.
She related everything back to her own home when speaking about it. It must have been hard to have the entire world go to war, especially when she believed, probably very strongly from the way she talked, that people should live together in understanding. It was a nice sentiment, admittedly, but childish and naive. But here Jon was, in love with a wildling girl, so who was he to tell her that. Besides, it sounded like she knew it was a childish thought.

"I wish it was that simple." Jon finally decided on saying.

"Me too…" Verona said softly and then decided to walk ahead of him.

They were passing a small windmill when Ygritte caught up with him.

A scout came back from venturing ahead, the group waited to hear what he had to say. There was a small house up ahead, it had horses, not sure how many yet though. Just one man was there. Tormund and the others got ready to move in closer, all of them getting their weapons ready, even Ygritte. Verona looked at them in
confusion.

"What are you planning on doing?" She asked them bluntly.

There was a pause before Orell answered. "Its just one man, with multiple horses. He don't need em all. If he's by himself, no one needs him neither."

She turns to him, eyebrows raised in concern and surprise. She turns to Tormund then looking alarmed.

"You're not going to kill him? For what, having horses? Being in the wrong place when you happen to be walking by? You've got to be joking…." Her tone is getting more and more stiff as she speaks, eyebrows pinched now in concern.

"What does it matter, this land is ours by right, he shouldn't be here. He'll go warn the crows where we are if he sees us. And we could use horses." The other free folk and murmuring their agreement, Jon is looking down, not happy about what might happen soon, unsure if he'll go through with it. Ygritte is watching him closely.
Verona's face is blank after Tormund's explanation, as if unsure what to feel at this point. She slowly starts to shake her head.

"That's not a good enough reason to kill someone. For land that he and his family have probably lived on for centuries? There comes a point when you accept a loss and move on, you're just sounding like petty assholes the way you carry on about stolen land! It doesn't justify killing families! Just like the night's watch isn't justified in killing families! You're both so fucking ridiculous, you know that?! You both do the same fucking things to each other, over and over and you're both wrong to do it. And horses are not a good enough reason to kill someone!"

She's shouting at them all now, anger causing her eyebrows to pinch down, her eyes to narrow. The free folk around her are surprised and then nervous, some are clenching their weapons in preparation to strike. Ygritte looks pretty shocked at her outburst, Tormund frowning at being compared to the crows.

"What do you know about it? Have you ever even held –" Orell starts to say but Verona turns right to him, glaring his direction.

"I was made to kill more people than you could know." She says lowly, "I was forced into a corner of my own mind and sense everything that was happening. I hated it. I hate remembering it. I didn't have a choice then. I didn't have a choice!" Her voice started to grow louder again as she continued, "I have a choice now.
And horses! Are not fucking good enough!"

She walks over to where she left her bag, the free folk avoiding her, unsure how to feel at her outburst. She sounded more guilty with herself than angry with them, at the end. She does still look really angry at them though.

"This is such bullshit. Maybe the army of the undead is a punishment for both of you, maybe you all deserve what's coming for you!" She spat it at them, causing them all the be angry in return, a few notching arrows, even Ygritte looked pissed now. Jon felt hurt she would say it, staring in disbelief.

"Tell me which direction is south, and I'll be on my way. I don't want any part of this anymore, I'm done travelling with you." She snaps out at them, but none of them move, unsure if they should let her leave or attack, they turn to Tormund, who's been glaring since she told them they deserved to die.

But Jon remembers his promise, and knows what he needs to do. He walks slowly past her, standing south of her. He tells her, "This way." In a stiff voice. Her eyes soften a bit when he does, but she marches off quickly anyway.

Tormund stares at Jon intensely now, suspicion on his face, as well as others.

"She's obviously not going to fight you. Why not let her leave?... How long will she last anyway…" He trails off and starts getting ready to go to the house the scout wanted them to attack.

Verona's POV:

I'm not sure how long I've been walking before it starts raining. It soaks through the free folk garb quickly, making it soggy and uncomfortable. I hear myself groan in discomfort, and decide to just wear my other cloths. I don't need these now do I?

I rip off the jacket, leaving me in my undershirt, and pull out clothing from the bag I had. I identified my shirt easily enough, and the vest was pretty identifiable, it was the heaviest thing in there. I changed pants quickly, pulling my boots off and putting them back on within a minute. I fling the other cloths away in frustration, I hear thunder overhead.

I can feel myself still shaking a bit, from anger or something else… I don't even know if I caused this storm or not, everything was so jumbled now. If I had so little control to cause even this unintentionally… I can't help but feel scared, scared that I'll revert back somehow. Even though I know it's not possible, that thing isn't in my head anymore, I keep having to remind myself it's not possible.

I have everything buckled and in place, the only thing left is the cape… that stupid cape they made for that stupid ceremony. This entire outfit was just for show, and what a show it turned out to be I thought bitterly.

I strap it on easily enough. I leave the cloths, and the bag, I don't need them, I don't need anything from them. I march on. I'm still shaking. The thunder gets louder and I realize I've started to cry.

I pause and look down, leaning over with my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. I wasn't even sure when I started breathing so quickly. I just needed a moment, just a moment to pull myself together and not feel like a terrible person…

Terrible for killing all those people… terrible for not being able to escape for so long… terrible for not finding out the truth earlier… I sink down to my knees, shaking and crying and out of breath. I can't catch it this time, I just can't. Sometimes I just needed to get it out, and what better place, no one's around to get hurt if I loose it.

I feel the wind get more intense around me, the thunder sounds a bit closer to me. I slowly start to try again, to catch my breath and think of what's around me, what I can feel.

My hands move to hold my head, my hair a complete mess now with the wind, Ygritte's hair tie had been lost while changing my shirt I guess…

I'm terrible for telling my friends they deserved to die… I was just so angry at how easily they could kill someone, without really thinking about it, when with me, it's
all I think about. How I could have prevented people from dying if I had just done this, or that. Their attitude reminded me of what it was like being under someone else's control, someone how didn't give to fucks about killing anyone and everyone she pleased. And I just lost it.

I shouldn't have said that to them though… they've been fighting for centuries, their conflicts are their own. And Jon… he did what he promised even after I said that. He deserved those words least of all… it made my heart ache just thinking about it.

The rain continued to fall. I got back up and continued walking. I might not find anyone for a while, especially after learning how few people there were compared to home. I needed to try, or I'd starve out here…

Jon rode away from the free folk, away from Ygritte, needing to put some distance between them. He couldn't do it, he just couldn't. They were still his people; he swore to protect them. He loved Ygritte, but he swore an oath and he had to get to castle black now.

He thought about Verona, just deciding to walk away as soon as she heard what they were going to do, how mad she had gotten at them. And when the sky started turning darker, they all wondered how much of that was her doing.

He understood her though, sympathized and wished he could walk away then and there but with him, there would have always been a fight. He would never have been allowed to leave. If she didn't find a town or farm, she would starve out there… Even if she did, northerners aren't the most trusting, who knew what would happen…

Fuck it he thought, turning his horse south. She was only walking, she couldn't have gotten far, he had to find her, he couldn't just let her die… she didn't deserve it.

AN:

So she has some problems when confronted with her friends' way of life, and says some things she regrets.

Just walking off was not a smart decision though. She's still in a strange place and she doesn't really know how to do things on her own the way people here do. Hopefully Jon will catch up to her, we'll see.

Thanks for reading!