Disclaimer: I do not own Frozen nor its characters, nor do I own any characters from other Disney works. Disney owns everything - including my heart, soul, and wallet.
Chapter 6 - Returning Home
Anna hadn't been back here since the summer after fifth grade on the anniversary of Mama Jules' passing, but the familiarity was still there. She spotted the grand staircase that curved down into the foyer where she'd sprained her wrist at age seven after she attempted to ride the railing all the way down. She saw the archway to her left that led to a room of paintings she and Elsa would pretend to talk to while playing make believe. The echoes of stormy afternoons spent as knights slaying a dragon or morning tea parties as princesses whispered like phantoms only she could hear. And somewhere above, Anna suspected her room still sat just across the hall from a door with a snowflake design, likely untouched over the last three years.
"Hello, Gerda," Iduna said.
Despite standing right next to her mother, Anna barely made out her words. She could hear Gerda's voice speaking to her but it was muffled, as if it were coming through water. She felt Gerda's familiar hands, rough from cooking and gardening but still gentle and warm, cupping her cheeks. "Miss Anna, you're looking worn. How are you feeling?"
Like a fool… Duped… Made laughing stock… Betrayed. Take your pick, she thought but couldn't find her voice to put any of it into verbalized words. This wasn't what she thought it was right? She's mistaken somehow? We're only dropping by on our way to some restaurant and would get back in the car soon... But if that's the case, why is Gerda taking off my coat? Is this some sick kind of joke?
Anna looked at her mom who was chatting with Gerda like old friends. Because they are old friends, she continued monologuing in her head. How could she be so stupid? She didn't even think to ask her mother what this new boyfriend's name was.
"Mama Ida?" A voice came from above them and the world snapped back into focus, Anna's head breaking water's surface. Elsa was still standing on the stairs, eyes darting quickly between the three women in the foyer before settling on Gerda. She carefully made her way down the remaining steps. "These are dad's guests for dinner?"
"Well 'hello' to you too," Anna mumbled under her breath, receiving a warning look from her mother to behave.
I'm just meeting my mom's boyfriend tonight.
This cannot be happening, Elsa thought frantically. She didn't move away from the steps once she reached the ground floor, focusing very hard on just remaining upright - one controlled breath after another. A familiar tightness in her chest was beginning to take hold as she took in the sight of Iduna and Anna. It had been years since she'd seen Mama Ida; though, it wasn't without her godmother's trying. Iduna tried to stay a part of Elsa's life after her mother died, but Elsa stubbornly pushed her away just as she had with Anna. It wasn't until Elsa sat her down and practically begged for space that her godmother finally obliged. She had told Mama Ida that being around them was too painful; that they stirred too many memories which were now cold and sad. Half truths easily spilled to secure what she needed to do. Even still, every year on her birthday, Elsa found a special present delivered to her. It was always unsigned but the penmanship of the "Happy Birthday, Elsa" message was unmistakably discernible.
"Come here, sweetheart," Iduna said, arms spread wide as she made her way toward Elsa. She stopped at the midpoint when she noticed her goddaughter hesitate, almost visibly recoiling from her approach.
You cannot force your presence upon a fawn, her mother's words rang in her ears as Anna watched her wait patiently.
Elsa debated with herself momentarily. If she were to correctly play the part that she'd begun crafting earlier that day, Elsa needed to be careful. But as she looked at Mama Ida's welcoming smile and the promise of a warm embrace, she felt herself overcome with the need to be held by the woman who was as much a mother to her as her own had been. Slowly, a pace at a purposeful adagio, she closed the gap between them and melted into Mama Ida's arms, taking in her familiar scent. Where her mother had smelled like springtime, all lilacs and cherry blossoms, her godmother was distinctly the fall; like warm spiced cider and crisp breezes.
"Hello there, little fawn. I have missed you so," Elsa heard her whisper and she felt tears stinging in her eyes. It had been a long time since she'd allowed anyone to hug her; the last person being her mom on her deathbed. Whether she was guarding that last hug from her mother or if it was some sort of self-inflicted punishment, she hardly even knew herself. When Iduna finally pulled away, Elsa could see the concern in her eyes. Mothers always seemed to sense when things were wrong, but Elsa just turned away and made sure the traitorous tears dried without falling.
Anna stood there, watching her mother hold Elsa, jealousy biting away at her insides. It felt like a fire building in her gut, burning steadily as kindling was added to it every second that the hug lasted. Whether she was jealous of her mother holding Elsa or Elsa being held by her mother she wasn't exactly sure, but it was taking every ounce of restraint she had not to put herself in between the two.
"It's good to see you, Mama Ida," Elsa said quietly. "It's... been a long time."
Oh, so her voice can still sound warm, Anna thought bitterly. Elsa turned to her with that blank stare from class back in place and Anna's ire grew further, that little green monster in the pit of her stomach fanning the flames and adding accelerant.
"Hi," Elsa said slightly awkwardly but still low and unaffected.
"Oh. Hi? Hi, me?" Anna said sarcastically. She caught the second warning look from her mother though and looked down at her Chucks and sighed, changing her tone and doing her best to temper the tiny, fire stoking troll in her gut. "Hi."
"Well," Gerda said, breaking the awkward silence that had fallen amongst the women. "Dinner is nearly ready and Agnarr is running a little late from the office, but he said to let you all eat and that he'd make it in time for the main course."
"Actually, Gerda, I'm rather tired. I think you may have been right about going skating today. Could I just - "
"You went ice skating today?" Iduna asked, the concern in her eyes returning.
"Oh Miss Elsa, I told you not to exert yourself," Gerda clucked.
"Agnarr said you'd quit."
"Your father will be most disappointed," Gerda said, placing a hand on Elsa's forehead as if she could somehow measure Elsa's fatigue the same way she could detect a fever.
"Do you need to lie down?" Iduna said, gently taking Elsa's chin and tilting it up to better see her face. Elsa recognized that look immediately.
She knows? Of course. Papa must have told her, Elsa reflected. Sighing, she took a couple steps back and put up her hands defensively, gesturing for the two older women to back off a bit. "I'm fine, really. Just a bit tired."
"Wait, you quit skating?" Anna was completely perplexed by what just happened. Elsa was a natural born skater, she was destined to be an Olympian. There's no way she just suddenly quit, but yet another of Elsa's blank stares served as confirmation. "But why?!"
"No reason."
"The Olympics are only two years away. Your Olympics," Anna stressed.
"I'm not going anymore."
"But you love to skate!"
"Loved," Elsa shrugged, unsure if she was lying for everyone else's sake or more for her own.
"Oh right," Anna spat and just like a floating ember settling onto the adjacent golden hill during a parched California summer, the smoldering coals in her stomach suddenly reignited with a vengeance. Anna was usually a babbler, an artist at filling the silence with incessant prattle. An angry Anna, however, was succinct and destructive, a verbal sniper rifle loaded with hollow pointed rhetoric aimed at only one objective - to kill. "I forget how easy it is for you to take back your love."
You deserved that, Elsa's most self-destructive inner voice sneered. Her stoic mask cracked momentarily as buildings and snowmen and friendship disintegrated, crumbling to dust under the anger in Anna's eyes. She tore her gaze from Anna, unable to look at her any further. Mission accomplished. Isolation complete.
"Anna, that was uncalled for," Iduna said sternly.
"Whatever," she said, swiping at her eyes. To her annoyance, Anna's tear ducts were always activated when she was angry. She hated that crying was her natural reaction to any strong emotion, but anger was the biggest offender. She stalked off toward the dining room, growing further upset as the tears threatened to fall, overactive lacrimal glands belittling her fury.
"Are these tears from pain or from anger?" Elsa asked softly. She let her gaze wander to the features of Anna's face and saw the tightness in the jawline, the redness behind the freckles, the small crease between the eyebrows. Anna always wore her emotions for everyone to witness, an open book of feelings and inner thoughts. Elsa decided it was anger. "Anna, you're going to have to calm down."
"I can't! I'm just so mad!" she answered, furiously wiping the tears from her cheeks. She felt Elsa adjust the ice pack resting on the knuckles of her right hand and hissed at the smarting pain. "Billy is such a jerk!"
"You didn't have to punch him."
"He's over acting! I didn't punch him that hard."
"The nurse said his nose is broken…"
"He made you cry, Elsa!"
"I can fight my own battles."
"I know you can, but you don't have to do it alone. We'll fight our battles together like we always do," Anna said and took her hand away from the ice pack in order to take Elsa's face in both her hands. "Besides, you would never have punched him. You'd beat him in a debate, but never with fists and we both know the only way to deal with a bully is with a show of strength. You're my sister and best friend. I will punch anyone who dares to upset you."
"Well, consider my honor defended, Sir Anna the Gallant," Elsa said with a smirk. She took Anna's hand back in hers and looked at the bruise blooming on the back of it before gently replacing the ice pack on top. "At least the swelling is going down. Now will you please hold still."
"You're not letting anything he said get to you, right?" Anna asked quietly after a moment of silence, noticing Elsa still had unshed tears in her eyes. Elsa just kept looking at her hands holding the compress to Anna's injured one. "Elsa, look at me."
Elsa sighed and met Anna's eyes. "I know none of it is true, but it doesn't make the words hurt any less."
"Well, everything he said was true."
"Anna!"
"What? I've told you thousands of times that you're a bookworm nerd," Anna said loftily. She put the index finger of her uninjured hand under Elsa's chin to force her to look back at her after she turned downcast at Anna's comment. "But that's not a bad thing, Elsa. You're smart. Practically a genius! You're going to do great things in this world like cure diseases or invent a machine that can create any chocolate treat you can imagine or…"
"Everything always comes back to chocolate with you," Elsa smiled.
"Well, yeah. Like you, it's never let me down," Anna smirked before shaking her head. "What was I saying? I was making a point… It's just like me to get distracted by simply thinking about chocolate... Oh yeah! Billy Larkin is just an idiot boy who's jealous because he probably won't pass fifth grade. Thank goodness too. We won't have to deal with him anymore."
Elsa rolled her eyes. "We're going to Ahtohallan Prep next year. There's no boys allowed there. It doesn't matter whether or not he fails."
"Yeah, yeah. I know, but my point still stands - Billy Larkin has rocks for brains," Anna said, making a silly face which coaxed a giggle out of Elsa.
A moment later, the door to the nurse's office opened and one of the assistants from the main office entered. "Your mothers are waiting for you in the Principal's office, girls."
"How much trouble do you think I'm in?" Anna gulped.
"Whatever it is, I'll take your punishment with you," Elsa said, standing and pulling Anna up by her good hand.. Anna looked at her incredulously. "I can't let the brave knight fall on her sword. I am a sympathetic Queen after all."
"Good! You're all here," Agnarr said as he sat down at the head of the dinner table, a smile reaching his eyes and showing pearly white teeth beneath his mustache.
"Father."
Well at least that robot voice isn't only reserved for me, Anna thought, amusement building as she watched a grown man falter under the stare of a fourteen year old girl. He paused halfway through setting his napkin in his lap, wide eyes darting to Iduna as if asking what he's done or what he's supposed to do. Her mother only raised an eyebrow at him, silently telling him what was about to come was of his own doing.
"Do tell," Elsa continued at a measured pace. "Why didn't you brief me about this dinner? I would have appreciated a little warning."
"I thought that Gerda would tell you," Agnarr asked more than stated, pleading eyes searching Gerda's face as she came in from the kitchen and placed his meal in front of him.
"It was not my place to tell her your plans," she said with a slightly reproachful tone before heading back through to the kitchen.
"And why is it that Anna seemed to know she'd be meeting Mama Ida's boyfriend, who, as it happens, turns out to be you, but I wasn't even aware that you had been dating anyone?"
"Did I not mention it?" Agnarr said, mustache twitching slightly. "I intended to… Yes, about eight months ago when you started your -"
"EIGHT MONTHS!" Anna said
"Eight mo…" Elsa started at the same time. Her eyes flickered to Anna before looking between her godmother and dad. "How long has this been a thing?"
"Almost a year," Iduna answered.
"A YEAR!" Elsa and Anna shouted at the same time. They shared a look, each girl secretly saying 'jinx' in their head but not outwardly, before Elsa quickly averted her gaze.
"And I'm only learning this now?" Elsa said, turning her attention back to her dad. Hurt and betrayal began settling on her shoulders and a tightness rose like bile in her chest. She knew her dad to be an introspective and slightly aloof sort of man who felt awkward talking about his feelings, she'd inherited that trait from him after all, but this was unacceptable.
"Well, you know how busy I've been at work lately. I thought we had a conversation about it ages ago. Perhaps I had played the whole conversation in my head and then forgot to actually do it. That would be like me… You're sure I didn't tell you?"
"Quite," Elsa said curtly.
"Oh… Well for that I do apologize, sweetheart," Agnarr responded earnestly.
Elsa let out a quick sigh and nodded. "Though I'm still acutely peeved that I'm the only one at this table that was unaware we'd all be meeting tonight."
"I didn't know I was meeting him. Or you," Anna blurted. "I only knew I was supposed to meet… Wait. How did you know I was meeting my mom's boyfriend?"
"You told Ariel in class today."
"You were eavesdropping!?"
"It's hardly eavesdropping with the volume at which you two speak," Elsa said neutrally. More half lies. You're getting very good at this.
Anna glared at her, mouth slightly agape and a blush rising on her freckled cheeks. "Then try harder not to listen in the future."
"I see the reunion is going well," Agnarr said with a smile to Iduna. "Has it been like this the whole time?"
"Only when they've decided to speak," Iduna said, returning his smile with a smirk reminiscent of a mischievous Anna. "They'd mostly remained silent throughout the soup and salad. Which, for Anna, was quite the change of pace."
"She was always the more verbal of the two. That I do remember."
"We'd appreciate it if you didn't speak about us as if we aren't sitting right here," Elsa uncharacteristically mumbled as she speared some roasted broccoli with her fork but didn't eat it.
"Don't speak as if there's still an us."
Oh right. Old habits, Elsa thought as she raised an eyebrow in Anna's direction before looking back at her father. "Okay, you may speak about Anna as if she weren't sitting right here."
"You are such a -"
"Girls!" Iduna raised her voice slightly.
Elsa and Anna stopped their bickering once more under the glare from Iduna. Silence fell upon the table as everyone resumed eating. Well, everyone but Elsa. Anna watched with a frown as Elsa merely pushed her vegetables around her plate. She knew for a fact that Elsa enjoyed Gerda's roasted broccoli, so she suspected that Elsa was far more upset than her cold looks and monotone voice let on. Anna wasn't the only one to notice though.
"Are you not hungry, Elsa?" her father asked.
"I haven't much an appetite," Elsa said while rolling her shoulders back. "I'm rather tired, really. Do you think I might be excused?"
"She went skating today," Iduna said to Agnarr from across the table.
"You what?" Agnarr said with concern. "When did you… Did you take… What are your -"
"I'm fine, Papa," Elsa said, not bothering to answer any of his unfinished questions. "Really, I'm just tired."
Agnarr steadied his gaze on his daughter. Anna could see him taking a quick once over of Elsa and she was yet again confused as to why Elsa going skating was such a cause for concern. Maybe she got injured? That must be why she quit just before the Olympic trials begin. It's the only explanation really.
"Okay, if you think that's best," Agnarr said after he finished his visual assessment.
Just as Elsa began pushing her chair back, Iduna addressed her. "Are you sure you don't want to stick it out for dessert? I asked Gerda to make her chocolate souffle tonight."
That froze Elsa where she stood, having just risen from her chair. She searched her godmother's face for the truth. Gerda only made her famous chocolate souffle for what she deemed to be the most special of occasions, which was essentially any of her four surrogate daughters' birthdays. After her mother died and Elsa pushed away Iduna and Anna, Elsa only got to have it on her own birthday. Was Mama Ida's and Anna's homecoming, as Gerda had put it earlier, a special enough occasion for the delicacy? The sincere look on Iduna's face told her yes and she made to sit back down.
"Oh, very industrious of you, dear," Agnarr chuckled.
"I saw this night playing out in many ways and I thought we'd need some sort of incentive that neither girl could pass on," Iduna replied. "Though, to be honest, every scenario I imagined where it would be used as bribery all had to do with Anna."
"That tracks," Anna said and she shoveled the remainder of her broccoli into her mouth. "I've fi-ished my foo. Ca I haf oofay ow?"
"No. You can have your souffle when everyone is ready for dessert. Please don't speak with your mouth full," Iduna said. Her tone was stern, but the little laugh lines around her eyes gave her away. "And chew."
Anna looked across the table to see Elsa finally eating some of her broccoli, but she could have sworn she saw a smile before Elsa opened up for the fork. Anna shook her head, she was probably imagining things as usual. She quickly chewed her mouthful of broccoli and washed it down with the chocolate milk Gerda had served to her without needing to ask. Some things really don't change.
"So… how did you two become… this?" Anna asked, gesturing between her mom and Elsa's dad.
"We reconnected at the Fall Orchestra Concert your school had last year," Agnarr started.
Elsa's head snapped to attention. She looked at Iduna with questioning eyes. Elsa didn't remember seeing her at that concert.
"I saw in the school newsletter that you had been chosen for a solo piece as first cello and wanted to see you play. I didn't want to push you though, so I sat in the back," Iduna explained quietly. "You were elegant and beautiful up on stage."
"I saw her leaving the auditorium and caught her while I was waiting for you at the end of the show," Agnarr said. "I could tell that she missed you, but she said you'd asked for your space. So I invited her out for coffee the next day just to catch her up on your life, and in turn she could catch me up on Anna's."
"Why?" Anna scoffed. She didn't realize until all eyes turned to her that she'd asked that out loud. "Sorry if that came out rude."
"Not at all, and to answer your question - because I'd always been fond you. I know that sounds strange since I wasn't around much when you two were younger. I admit that I was a bit of a workaholic. My research is very important and it's hard for me to turn it off sometimes, but I do remember two rambunctious girls that made each other and their mothers happy. I particularly remember one feisty little girl who taught my Elsa how to be brave one day in the tide pools at Half Moon Bay," Agnarr answered with a gentle smile. "When I saw your mother at Elsa's concert, I realized that it had been a while since I'd seen you over here. Now, I'm not sure what happened between you two. Admittedly, I'm just as much a workaholic now as I was before Jules passed. I'm afraid Elsa is alone in this big house more often than not so I was curious what was keeping you away."
"It was strange at first, our coffee dates. Jules had always been there to be a buffer. We'd hardly had any interactions just the two of us despite the longevity of our friendship. However, we still had common ground - you two and Jules," Iduna continued. She and Agnarr shared a smile that was both happy and melancholic. "But it was familiar, comforting even. Over time, our conversations became less about you girls and more about each other. Until one day, without any fanfare but with just as much surprise, we realized we were, as you said, Anna… this."
Anna nodded and chanced a glance at Elsa. The blonde was looking down at her plate, once again simply pushing the food around it instead of eating it and something Agnarr had said registered in her mind. Now that she thought about it, she never saw Elsa interacting with any of the other girls at school. She ate lunch alone, she didn't do any sports or clubs. She's been alone in this house for years and completely isolated herself, Anna thought.
The smell of chocolate suddenly filled the room as Gerda wheeled in a cart carrying individual souffles for each of them. Anna watched as Gerda took Elsa's half eaten meal and replaced it with her dessert. Elsa's eyes lit up and the tiniest smile graced her face as she thanked Gerda. An inexplicable sadness washed through Anna as she saw a glimpse of the Elsa she once knew. Gerda dropped off a souffle with her mother before stopping next to her.
"Welcome home, Miss Anna," Gerda said softly as she placed the souffle in front of her.
"Thank you, Gerda," Anna said, looking up to the matronly woman. Gerda gave her a quick kiss on the crown of her head before heading to give the final dessert to Agnarr.
Silence reigned once more as everyone dug into the warm richness of Gerda's signature dessert. Iduna softly cleared her throat but no one paid her any mind.
"Ahem," Iduna said again, looking pointedly at Agnarr who looked up questioningly. She raised an eyebrow at him.
"Yes, dear?"
"Wasn't there something else we wanted to say?" Iduna said with a roll of her eyes.
"What?... Oh! Yes… Um, well… So girls, there's one more thing," Agnarr said and waited for both girls to acknowledge that he was speaking to them. Once he had their attention he put his spoon down. "Gerda has approached me about her possible retirement." There was silence again as he paused to gauge the girls' reactions, but he had to admit that he hadn't a clue how to read them. "She wants to go home to Norway. Kai has family there that they would like to be closer to at this point in their lives."
Anna had no idea what to say. She wasn't sure at all what this even had to do with her, so Anna reverted to her default whenever she was stumped - she looked at Elsa. The other girl appeared to be having an internal battle behind her indifferent mask.
"That seems fair," Elsa broke the silence with a quiet voice. "She raised mom and Mama Ida and then Anna and me. If that's what she wants, she should go home."
Elsa's words sounded logical to the outside observer. Anna, however, took in the way Elsa's eyes appeared distant as if she were doing complicated mental math, the slight up-tilt of her left brow, the way her fingers fiddled with her spoon. Anna found it curious that she could still read the subtleties of Elsa's mannerisms after all this time and when Elsa was obviously trying hard to hide them. She doubted she'd ever stop being able to read it all, and right now it was telling her that this was not something Elsa was okay with.
"You're upset," Anna said matter-of-factly.
How can she still see through me? Elsa thought. She looked down at would could possibly be her last ever of Gerda's chocolate souffle. "It would be selfish of me to deny Gerda her opportunity to retire. And I'm old enough to care for myself."
"Ah, about that…" Agnarr said, clearly apprehensive. He looked at Iduna for help.
"We've talked about it a lot. Considered all the pros and cons," Iduna started.
"I'm going to be even busier at work. Our newest drug is moving into the next phase of clinical trials very soon -"
"And the distance from our apartment in the City is quite far from both my office and your school," Iduna said to Anna.
"And with Gerda gone, Elsa, we'd need help. Getting you to school, taking you to your thera -"
"Please just get to your point," Elsa said frantically, eyes flickering to Anna.
Agnarr looked once more at Iduna and took a deep breath. "I've asked Iduna to move in here with Anna."
Silence.
"WHAT!?" Both girls shouted, chocolate souffles forgotten in an instant.
A/N: Oh boy, did this chapter give me trouble. I'm sorry it's a little late and much longer than usual. I re-wrote this (I'm not kidding) at least five times. Still not sure if I'm exactly happy with it, but if I keep staring at it, I'll just keep re-writing it. And all the major points were made; therefore, I'm going to swallow the atelophobia and go with it. So... end of Act I. Time to get into the real story.
As always - thank you for reading :)