The abstract images in his mind were followed by a deep feeling of loneliness and despair. Although he knew that the drugs were bringing this on, somehow altering his brain chemistry to seduce him into thinking that Susan and Al might be the only people in this world who could care for him and keep him safe, Steve was fighting a losing battle.
Curled up on his side, he was resting his head on his cramping shoulder, hoping the pain would help clear some of the fog these drugs were dragging his mind into. To offset the growing nervousness and anxiety filling every crevice of his memory, he'd began to slide his left leg back and forth across the floor, the noise of leather boots against the wood undoubtedly driving everybody in the vicinity insane at this point. But for Steve, it was like a calming mantra, a noise he could use to focus on entirely while trying to blank out anything else around him.
Sudden jolts of his muscles had become more and more frequent lately, as his body fought the undoubtedly high dose of CPZ he'd been injected with. Through the fog, he remembered Lenny's warning, that the meds would drive a normal person into the abyss of insanity, while calming down a mentally ill patient.
Staring straight ahead, he had to remind himself to blink every once in a while, when his dry eyes began to burn. Drawing in a deep breath, he tried to calm his frantically beating heart to no avail.
For a while now, Steve had been aware that he was being watched. Both Al and Susan were sitting at the small dining room table a few feet away, having a quiet conversation he couldn't hear over the rushing of blood in his ears that was effectively drowning out most of the noise in the surrounding area.
Another strong jolt shook his body, making his muscles cramp and his nerve endings burn like fire. What started as a slight trembling of his hands, quickly spread through the rest of his body, leaving him to moan in pain.
As his exhausted mind began to overcompensate, previously buried images of the most horrific nature returned with a vengeance. Human bodies tore to pieces, blood splattered against plaster walls, lifeless eyes staring back at him, voices asking why he didn't arrive sooner.
Suddenly he saw the William's kids from the Matthew Rueger case standing in the kitchen of their parent's house, their loaded shotguns aimed at Mike. As Steve stuck his head around the corner of the basement's doorframe, he raised his revolver to shoot.
Unfortunately, he wasn't fast enough.
"Mike…"
The loud boom of a 12-gauge double barrel shotgun filled the air, making him retreat in fear. In sheer torment, he glanced around the doorframe again, only to see his partner and best friend lifelessly collapse to the floor with a faint thud, a crimson puddle forming quickly beneath his head.
"Mike…"
Steve flinched violently, when a warm cloth appeared on his cheek and then moved to his neck, wiping away the sweat that was quickly soaking his dress shirt.
"Shhhh, puppet, calm down. You're safe."
A gentle hand ran through his hair, quieting some of the demons, before he felt a warm breath by his ear.
"I am here for you, just relax, puppet."
Sensing, rather than seeing Susan lie down on the floor right behind him, Steve couldn't help but relish her soothing touch, as her gentle fingers continued to run through his hair much like his mother used to do, and then reached over to caress his neck.
"See, all you had to do was come here, and I will keep you safe."
His cramping muscles began to relax when she moved in closer, her warm body pushed up against his back, her hand performing small circles on his upper arm before moving to his chest. Steve released a long-held breath, his lungs wheezing from the strenuous effort.
"There you go. Don't fight it. Just release all that fear. You are safe now."
Susan's hand appeared on his side, tracing each one of his ribs back to the center of his chest, before resting her flat palm over his racing heart.
"Shhh…calm down, puppet. You're almost there. Just breathe with me…in…and out…"
Next to his ear, he could hear Susan inhale deeply, then waiting for him to do the same.
"There you go.", she cheered enthusiastically, before kissing the side of his neck, her long locks tickling his cheek, "Try it again, puppet. In and out…"
As her commands filled his tormented mind and drove out all the horrific images, Steve felt himself relax, almost lean into the warm body behind him. Susan's gentle voice began to drown out any outside noise, until it was the only thing he could hear, and longed to do so.
Staring straight ahead, his breaths became deep and slow, and he felt a sense of pride for appeasing the caring voice asking him to relax. As his eyes began to glaze over, Steve never even noticed the needle being shoved into his thigh.