It's a lovely morning in the park and you are a terrible toddler.

Dudley knew that Harry was not a normal child, his big brother was a superhero. Sure he couldn't teleport but he did cool things all of the time.

once on a trip to a local lake. They had packed a lovely picnic and after everyone was finished with their marmalade sandwiches they decided to take a walk along the stream. While they were walking, Vernon quickly became distracted by his fox of a wife and stopped for a quick snog.

Poor Harry and Dudley had been third wheeling all of their lives and decided to make themselves scarce. They saw enough of that shit at home after all.

Further up the path Dudley suddenly made a break for the water. Harry, the consummate big brother, sighed as he raced after his brother.

He didn't need to worry however as just before Dudley reached the water he was accosted by a heinous monster.

"HONK!" said the towering monstrosity.

The hulking goose stood up and spread its wings aggressively at the tiny interlopers, rearing back his neck to strike at them.

In that moment Harry felt a desperation that he had never felt before in his life, a burning need to protect his brother.

Nietzsche once said "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster"

However Harry was not familiar with the works of Nietzsche, and found himself morphing slowly into a magically enhanced, pure white, Barnacle goose twice the size of the goose before him. Harry cracked open his mighty beak and let loose a low hiss. The message was clear: this is my turf.

The other goose was easily cowed and did his best to get out of the way fast. There was a new sheriff in town that was for sure.

Harry slowly melted back into his native form and took Dudley back to their parental units.

Petunia for one was shocked, Vernon was usually not this assertive in public, and she was getting a bit hot under the collar. 'Clearly,' she thought, fanning herself with her hand after they broke apart.

"You still want me despite all of the disgusting baby fat I'm carrying around?" she gasped,

"Just a little more cushion for the pushin, Pet" Vernon replied, giving the seat cushion a firm squeeze to get the message across.

On another occasion, while Dudley was waiting for his turn for their mother to cut his hair, Vernon sneaked up behind Petunia and smacked her ass. She was so surprised that she accidentally shore off a landing strip right down the middle of Harry's head without noticing. They were both upstairs rutting like rabbits before you could say go! And needless to say the brothers returned to their room dejected, one without a haircut, and one wishing he was.

The next morning dawned and to Duleys surprise Harry's hair looked like it hadn't been cut.

But that's not what made him a hero in Dudleys mind. What made Harry Dudley's hero wasn't the way he stopped the other kids from teasing Dudley or took him on goose rides all around the neighborhood, or the way that he helped to make fun for the both of them by pranking all of the uptight neighbors, moving around their mail, and honking at inopportune times, causing them to drop groceries on the ground, or their car keys, and quickly snatching them up and running off, honking all the way. No, what made him Dudley's hero was the way that he stopped the noises that came from their overly amorous parent's room late into the night. Harry would stare at the wall intently and wave his hand and suddenly the noises stopped and they could sleep.

Next time on untitled wizard book:

"What's in the mail darling?" Vernon asked with a disturbing glint in his eye,

"There is a letter from the tax company, a letter for Harry, and... A package from adult supplies?"

"Hurry up and open it dear," Vernon said with a lecherous tone creeping into his voice.

"OH Vernon! I can't wait to try these out!"

"Why wait Pet"

an:

I Have alot of terrible ideas floating around in my head rn, chiefly among them is harry speaking parsletonge because he is a goose animagus and not for any other reason (geese hiss)

I want some daphne greengrass action cause I am a terrible person and she is a blank cheque so they say

Not sure when U I am gonna have the dursly adults discover harry is a wizard but probably soon.

PLEASE gimmie some coments cause I wont continue this cancer without some love or hate, hate works too.

an 2:

My keybord is binding up again with honey to I am gonna stop for the night, it is currently 1:40, I have spent 2 hours writing this shit and I have like 1500 words here