It was not a sudden realization that took her by surprise. On the contrary, Raven was very much in touch with her emotions and over the years she's known her friends, her interactions with Beast Boy have evolved significantly. It was the little things. His way of always making her feel wanted and happy. His eagerness to include her on the team's activities, even the way he would vent in frustration when she refuses to join in on the fun everyone else was having.

He was the first to truly care about her.

Raven's feelings started out with secret admiration. She would hide her tiny gray smile behind her book, or under her dark hood in hopes, he won't see. That no one would see. That admiration turned to appreciation, and appreciation became affection. She started to notice all his little quirks and mannerisms, even when he thinks no one sees them. Like how his right ear twitches when he's lying. Or how he tends to stick out his tongue while playing a video game against Cyborg. How he likes to be extra obnoxious around Robin just to piss off the boy wonder, and of course how he enjoys telling his jokes to Starfire because while she wouldn't understand most of them, the fact that she still laughs was much appreciated by the green changeling.

When it came to Raven, he was very loud, and he acted more obnoxious around her than he did around Robin, possibly just to see her get upset. He liked to "ruffle her feathers", one of the stupid jokes he told her which resulted in Beast Boy being blasted out the window and tossed into the ocean. If it wasn't for his shapeshifting abilities, he would have gotten seriously hurt. Raven would never intentionally hurt him though. She couldn't, even when he got on her nerves and made her feel an inch tall with his descriptions other "creepiness", she still loved him. She will always love him.

But love hurts and Raven was used to pain.

So she kept it all hidden. She put on a mask, pretended that his words didn't both scar and entice her. When he made mentions of her or made jokes, it was like he was both tormenting her and saving her.

She wanted so badly to rip off her own skin whenever they brushed against one another; his touch lit embers. And her demon half loved to entice her with inner fantasies of her and the changeling becoming one flesh, sometimes it would be a wild, animalistic union, with the single need to breed and use each other's bodies to sate their sinful desires.

Sometimes it was loving and passionate, slow to start with each's gentle fingers and mouth mapping each other's skin, and learning what made them tremble with anticipation and excitement. She knew that was her more human desires.

Raven would always excuse herself whenever her inner fantasies became too much and she would meditate on the rooftop, trying to banish her sinful thoughts to the depths of her mind. All the while ignoring Beast Boy's spicy smell, no doubt his shampoo or soap.

Azar, she had it bad.

Tuesday night, everyone was fast asleep. Starfire happily in her bed with Silkie snuggled close, imagining being back in her homeworld with all of their friends. Robin in his bed, dreaming about beating up Slade. Cyborg plugged into his charger and dreaming about his glory days as a football star. Then there was Beast Boy. He was sprawled out across his lower bunk bed, fast asleep with a look of utter contentment, dreaming about something made of tofu.

Raven didn't originally go into her friends' rooms while they were asleep. In fact, she followed the same rule that she had about her own bedroom. But given that everyone has been in her room at least once, she figured it was fair. Plus, it also gave her the chance to make sure everyone was okay.

Since the battle with Trigon, Raven found herself growing attached to her friends, more so than she thought she should. It had shocked her, that they were willing to save her and help her overcome her own destiny, the very reason she had been born. How can anyone deny their destiny? The Titans didn't care about a prophecy, nor did they care if she was a portal meant to bring about the end of the world. They saw her as part of their family; even Beast Boy.

When Beast Boy told her they would defeat her father, she actually felt hopeful of her imminent demise. It was a strange feeling to hope, a tiny white light in the center of a black void, struggling to remain lit and bright, even when everything else was consumed by darkness. She could sense that burning white light in all of them and felt it spark to life within herself. Somehow, she knew everything was going to be okay. Even when it looked as though her life was done for, that the Titans were gone, she still felt that hope, and penny Beast Boy gave her, feeling oddly heavy in her hand.

Hope was a strong, powerful force that even the might Trigon feared. And Raven used it to her advantage.

She will never forget it and she could never express how grateful she was for having her friends. Her family.

Raven drifted back to her room, slowly, looking from left to right, reading each gray plate: Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg. And finally: Raven. She stopped in front of her room and palmed it open. Inside it was dark and quiet, nothing seemed out of place, aside from a little mirror sitting on her dresser. It's glass surface shinning white from the glow of the full moon. Raven drifts towards it and examines her features, noting her gray skin, lavender eyes, and lilac hair.

Soon four red slits appeared and she found herself transported to her own mind of Nevermore. A dark, rather eerie looking place. Waiting for her are her emoticlones, several of them, dressed in their color-coordinated cloaks. The red one, her temper smirks deviously, eyes glowing red with sinister intent.

"Raven, it's wonderful to see you!" Pink exclaims, rushing forward to encompass Raven in a hug. She sidesteps her and goes straight to Red. The other emoticlones move aside.

Red chuckles, her voice uneven and distorted. "WhAt IS tHe MaTtEr, RaVen? I ThOuGhT YoU WeRe EnJoYiNG ThE sHoW?"

"You're getting out of control," she grits out, the others tremble a little, sensing something amiss. "Stop it with the fantasies."

"AnD WhY ShOuLd I? YoU CaN't DeNy hE wOuLd mAkE aN eXCellEnt MaTe for Us. We KnOw yoU enJoY thEM."

To prove her point, Red flooded Raven's mind with memories of their fantasies. Her under Beast Boy, him on top wearing only his pants, his shirt gone to reveal his toned physic. He has her by the wrists, pinning them above her head, while his other hand trails hot touches along her ash-colored skin, making her arch as he digs his sharp nails to leave red scratches: marking her.

Red's smirk grows, seeing the way Raven's eyes seemed to film over with a longing look. "Do YoU KnOw WhY, I sHoW YoU tHeSe FaNtAsIes?"

"To torment me?" Raven snorts, finally looking away from the erotic scene, a bright pink blush dusted across her cheeks. "Isn't that what you're meant to do?"

Red chuckles, "MoStLy, BuT tHeRE is ANotHER ReAsOn fOR tHiS, RaVeN. YoU fOrGeT wHaT tHe MoNks of AzAR tOLD yOu AbOuT oUr hERItage. EvErY bLooD mOOn, DeMoNs of AgE clAIM thEir Mates. YoU sUrVivED yoUr SixtEEnth BirtHdAy, and HAve Come of AGe. ThE ResT YoU CAn FigURE Out."

All at once the air in her lungs escapes in a loud gasped. No! This wasn't possible. She couldn't, not with him!

"TomoRROw," Red states with a sneer, "He WilL BE OurS."

"Ours," the others repeat as if in a trance.

Raven trembles, her stomach aches with sudden cramps. "No," she says, glaring at them all, "I can't do that to him. He's my friend, barely a friend."

Red smirks, "YoU dOn'T uNdErStAnD, HOW thIs WorKs Do YoU? You Won't Be in ConTroL tHEn: I WILL."