Chapter 9 – It Was the Lavender
"I don't get it," Ali asked, "why is it so important?"
"Ali, Ali, Ali. See, that's why we need to be good friends, so I can teach you everything I know."
Ali scoffed, "like what, I've snuck into parties on my own, I know how to flirt with guys and I can fake like I'm drinking, how is-"
Ali's older friend cut her off, "listen, sweetie, that's great, but if you truly want to fit in with us, you have to really become one of us, you listen to everything I say, and do what I tell you, that's how it was to be if you don't want to get caught."
"But, I have my own friends too, they-"
"When you're here, they don't matter!"
The sudden outburst made Ali cringe but she so badly wanted to know what it felt like to hang out with a bunch of college kids that she found herself agreeing, agreeing shamefully.
"Okay, then, good, I'm glad you understand, things could've gotten quite ugly."
"What do you mean?"
"That's nothing you need to be concerned with. Here, put this on, if you smell like a woman, men will treat you like a woman, not a girl, especially a freshman….in high school."
Ali was handed a small clear bottle of perfume.
"What scent is it?"
The older girl turned around, a smile that Ali found somewhat discomforting on her face, "it's lavender, my favorite."
Ali nodded, "thanks CeCe."
x-x-x-x
"Tell us again how you know the exact person that helped kidnap and hold you captive?"
Ali clenched and unclenched her fists visibly atop the same table she sat at earlier.
"I told you 3 times, how many more before you remember?"
Detective Swan nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry Alison, but you do realize I got called her at 3 in the morning, and you drop this big of a news on us based on, on some stupid perfume?"
Ali squeezed her hands so tight her nails threatened to break the skin of her palms.
"Yes, no one else I know wears that and Emily even said that she-"
"Yes," Swan cut her off, "Emily, the girl who remembers literally nothing before the accident. I'm sorry but I don't think she's that reliable of a source."
"What? Are you serious, what kind of bullshit is that? Em wouldn't just make that up."
"I'm well aware, but we've checked the security footage and the sign-in, no CeCe Drake."
"Well look again, you guys don't understand how –A does all of this."
"I thought Drake was –A?"
Ali brushed her hands through her hair in frustration.
"No, I said CeCe was helping –A, she was the one tying me up again. I know it was her."
"Based on…" he trailed, mocking Ali.
"It was the lavender. It was that fucking smell okay?" Alison was close to shouting, "I was friends with CeCe for a long time, she helped me fit in, she taught me things and took me places."
"But?"
"But, I guess she got in trouble one night for bringing me with her, I got her kicked out of college and because of that, her parents also cut her off."
Swan nodded, scribbling more notes in his book, "So you think that because of that-"
"There's your fucking motive. CeCe knew a lot about me, she knew who I was and that I didn't get threatened easily, she helped build the person I was- cold, hard, a total bitch like her, controlling and overall not a good friend, I know a lot about her too, and when people cross her, she gets revenge. So when I say I know it was CeCe Drake, it was her."
The finality in her voice, didn't push anymore questions from the detective, he only sat soaking in the possibility that Ali was right.
"Alison, if we name CeCe now, you better be damn sure."
Ali nodded, "I am."
"Ok, you're free to go, but we still need to hear how you and Fields managed to get out of there and end up here, alright?"
Ali sighed, "you know where to find me." With that Ali walked out and went quickly to find Em and the boys.
"Alright," Swan said to the two officers behind him, "call it in, CeCe Drake is our prime suspect, I want to know everything about her and I want her face everywhere, every station and news network in the area, I don't care if we have to plaster her in stores, we find her and bring her in. Go!"
The two nameless officers, scrambled from the door and Swan sat, still thinking at the table, muttering to himself, "what aren't you telling me DiLaurentis?"
x-x-x-x
"So what does it all mean?" Caleb leaned forward in his chair, Ezra and Toby next to him, all facing Ali who sat at the edge of her bed.
"I'm still trying to figure that part out, I have the pieces, I know I'm missing some, I'm just trying to see how they fit." Alison squeezed the back of her neck with her hands and sighed heavily.
"Hey," it was Toby, "how is she?"
Ali knew instantly who he was talking about. She shook her head.
"She doesn't know how someone we used to know could be a threat and why I acted the way I did. She's pretty confused and Pearson didn't want her to be too worked up so they put her back in her room, but they increased the security, she just doesn't know it."
"So I take it you haven't told her the truth?" Ezra asked very cautiously.
"No."
"Ali you know that the longer you wait, the harder it will be for her to trust you."
Alison knew Toby had a point, him being the first of the men in front of her to be Emily's friend.
"I know, I know. But I don't need Em's trust right now, I need her safe, and the less she knows…for now…the better."
Caleb shook his head, "you know that's not true, if –A or CeCe find a way here, they can tell her whatever and she could believe them. Are you even sure she trusts you?"
Ali took that like salt in a wound, "I-I think so."
"Then tell her," Toby's words were final.
"I tried, don't you at least think I tried!? She was here, I was ready, she was ready and I wanted to tell all of it, but I didn't know how, and then I could smell the fucking lavender on her, I couldn't."
"And now, what is stopping you now? She didn't even know who we were; we lied and said we undercover agents sent to watch her. She doesn't even know about," Caleb stopped swallowing hard, cringing internally and out at the thought and loss of Hanna.
Toby squeezed his shoulder and Ali could see the massive waves of pain and sadness reflected in the three pairs of eyes in front of her.
"The girls," Ezra managed, "you told her about her parents, but not the girls." It wasn't a question.
Ali too felt the sharp pang of guilt bubble in her stomach and choked back a sob, her next breaths coming out chopping and uneven, "how? How could I?"
Her voice cracked but she didn't care, "how could I look at the one person I love and tell her everyone that mattered to us, to her, they were all dead, that they died in a plane crash on their ways to see us, who were only here because of me? How could I say that to her, I don't even accept that they're gone, because I can't, I won't let them go, I won't."
Ali was in full tears now, "Emily doesn't even know the truth about her parents death, she knows they died, but not that they died the night we were found, she doesn't know they died coming to hold her and be here for her. I can't break her heart again. Don't ask me to."
Her voice was a whisper, distant and more noticeable, broken.
Caleb stood and blinked the mist from his eye, "Alison, I love Hanna, and she love the two of you, she deserves to be remembered and she deserves to be talked about in a good way, especially to Em, they were best friends, you all were, so sooner rather than later you need to do that, tell Emily the truth, or I will. She deserves to know."
Alison lifted her head, not wanting to fight with Caleb but also knowing he was serious. She nodded and squeezed her hands together.
"I'll tell Emily, as soon as I find out who –A is, I don't want her to sit there and be worried, when I tell her everything, it will be when we're both safe and –A is gone, for good."
"As great as that sounds, how are you planning that?" Toby questioned harshly.
"I didn't tell the cops everything I know. There's some things I need to find out, but I can't do it alone."
Ezra looked at Caleb and Toby warily, "So what are you saying?"
Alison swallowed, thinking of Aria, of Spencer, of Hanna, of Emily sitting in her hospital room, feeling alone and anything but herself. Alison's pride didn't matter and there was no one else she could truly trust but the three in front of her now, "I need your help."
Caleb half smiled, half smirked, "and we thought you'd never ask."
Alison laughed nervously, confused.
"We came to see you, but more importantly we came to find the son of a bitch that started all this and end it. You're not going in alone on this one Ali. You're not, and we're all coming back out of this together."
"Okay then."
"So, where do we start?"
Ali smiled and felt more tears flee from her eyes, not for the words that she had heard, not for the fact that she finally felt comfort again, but because as much as she wanted to believe it was true, it wasn't, the simple fact was, they were not all coming back out of this.
Even if some bodies from the plane were not found, Ali couldn't allow the hope to creep in again, the let down would literally crush her.
Hope sucked that way. Yet again, Spencer Hastings had to be right.
x-x-x-x
Two Weeks Later
"Really Ali, how many grandmas do you have?"
"Just one, and I told you, she left me everything, I forgot that included this." Ali walked over and kicked her shoe against the giant tire of the sixteen wheeler.
"Yeah," Caleb scoffed, "and if we thought we were being discreet before, wait until we roll around in this."
Alison groaned, "listen, I've been out of the hospital for four days. That's three in a shitty motel with you three no offense. Besides that, I think it'd be better to have our own mobile office."
A groan was heard, "and you expect us all to live in that in the time being?"
"Look, it needs a little TLC but it's free…other than gas and food, and that will already be saving you guys a bunch. If not, you can go back home and-"
"Home?" It was Caleb again, "Ali there's not much a home left for me, there wasn't one until Hanna, and now-" he paused, sucking in a breath, "Hanna was my home, so I'm staying, in that crap RV or in a hotel, behind a dumpster, I don't care, but there is no home anymore, not until I at least help you find who did this." His voice went from angry, to sad, to sincere and distant and Alison wished she was more sensitive and said the right things.
After Pearson cleared her release from the hospital, Alison had no clue what to do, she stayed with the boys when they offered but she couldn't do that for too long. She had money from her grandma, loads of it, but she knew she should spend wisely.
Most of that money, unknown to anyone but Ali, Dr. Pearson and the hospital was paying for Emily's medical bills. Years of family money going to the one person she would've spent in on anyways. Of course Ali wished it was for a house, a car and maybe a wedding, but that wasn't a picture in photo album…not yet.
"Earth to Ali," Ezra waved his hand in front of her face, "did you hear me?"
"What? I'm sorry, I spaced."
"Yeah, I noticed. I asked where we're going to park this, and if it even runs."
Alison realized that although she just picked up the keys, she had no clue what this thing was like on the inside.
"Uh, I was actually hoping you guys would help with that…specifically Toby?"
Ali turned on her heels to face Toby who grinned, "yeah, alright, I'll take a look."
x-x-x-x
Four Hours Later
"Shit, how am I supposed to drive this?" Ezra sat behind the wheel, a cross between struggle and panic across his face.
"Ezra, the hospital is just down the highway, and then it's two turns, you can do this."
"I hate you all for this, if we crash and die-" he stopped, knowing the weight of those words were too heavy for anyone in that RV to carry.
He quickly tried to apologize, stopped immediately by everyone. No one brought it up, but somewhere inside them all, a silver lining was laced in their bones; hope resonated deep within their souls; the familiar faces and laughter haunted them in dreams and memories; but no one said anything.
Ali dreamt every night that –A would be gone, Em would get her memory back and she would have her friends again. Ali wished for a day that none of this happened, that she never started any of this. But she knew, she knew wishing on stars was only worth something in movies, and this was no movie, it wasn't worth it. Those stars people wish on are dead anyways, everyone is too late, all that time wasted.
And time wasn't a luxury Alison DiLaurentis had. It wasn't something she wasted. She didn't however tell Emily the whole truth yet, she only knew that she had other friends. Ali couldn't share more, she couldn't say that Hanna and the others were- she just couldn't and the boys hadn't said a word either. It ate away everyday that Ali sat and visited Em, she could see the questions racing behind her warm brown eyes, the questions she physically couldn't even ask and it fueled Ali, it fueled her to keep going, when there were so many times she thought of giving up.
x-x-x-x
"Ali?"
"Yeah Em?"
"Tell me something about myself again?" Em didn't pick her gaze up from her hands and Ali sighed, knowing there was no way she could say no, she couldn't find an excuse to leave so she sat in silence, thinking, finally taking a deep breath to ask, "like what?"
Em chewed the bottom of her lip, "was I a good friend?"
Alison swallowed, thankful that Em still hadn't lifted her eyes to look at her.
"Em," Ali didn't know how to reveal anything, so she comprised a little, "we were a group of friends actually."
Emily lifted her eyes, shock and nerves obvious, "others? Are we still close, do they know we're okay or- oh no, were they in the accident? I-"
"Shh, Em , please, it's okay," Alison lied through her teeth but she didn't know who she was lying for…or to? Her, or Em.
"Em," she tried again, "we had friends, but they went away for a while, and I don't know for how long."
"Oh," Emily sat back in her hospital chair, scratching around the stitches on her forehead, "are we still close? Like do they care that we-"
"They care for us very much, they are like family, only right now, we can't get a hold of them okay?"
Emily looked confused but she nodded nonetheless, "okay, well tell me about them."
Ali sucked in a breath, not knowing whether she could do it. So she found an excuse, "I have to leave soon, and it would take a very long time to describe them, and it wouldn't be right for me to rush, can I tell you anything else?"
Em took her turn, sucking in a breath and nodding, "do you have a picture?"
Reaching behind her, Ali pulled a battered cell phone from her pocket , "I don't exactly remember how I managed to…hold on to this, but the cops found my phone a few days after the…accident we had."
Thankfully Caleb had checked it after he arrived and said it was clear, no way was –A spying through it.
Alison opened her photo album and scrolled through the pictures, realizing if she let Emily scroll through them all, she'd ask questions about the photos of her and Ali.
Alison panicked and couldn't back down now, she already told Em she would show her.
"Ali, what's wrong?"
Everything.
"Nothing, it's just-"
"The pictures?"
What? How did she know that-
"I mean," Emily clarified, "do you still have them? I don't know maybe your phone was messed up?"
Ali sighed out of relief and cleared her throat, just don't let her scroll. "Um, this," she stated while handing Em the phone, "was the best one I had."
Ali let the phone go and prayed that Em wouldn't keep scrolling, knowing that they would both be in a world of trouble…well more, if she did.
Em scrunched her eyebrows in confusion and upon squinting her eyes, she gasped and dropped the phone to the bed, "I know them!" She exclaimed excitedly and very nervously, "I- I-I've seen them."
The readings from Em's monitor started picking up and Ali could see the fear and excitement raising her heart rate, and at this stage in her recovery, Ali knew that wasn't healthy for Em.
"Em calm down-"
"Ali, I've seen them-"
"But how Em, they're-"
"In my dreams, it's blurry and the sounds are muffled but the people are always the same, I close my eyes and they're always the same…and j-jus-just now, when I-I-I- sss-squ-squinted-"
Em stopped, not knowing why she was stuttering so bad, "wha-wh-what, is go-go-gooooing on?"
Alison was shaking; she didn't know why Em couldn't speak but she knew it wasn't a good sign.
"Em calm down, slow your breathing."
Emily's chest started heaving rapidly, the air being ripped from her chest as if it was being sucked straight from a vacuum. She waved her hands in front of her mouth, trying to fan air in somehow and Ali jumped from her seat, hitting the red emergency button and running into the hall, "help! Somebody please! Help!"
Within seconds, nurses and nearby doctors rushed in and Ali struggled to find her way back into the room.
Em was now shaking uncontrollably and her eyes were rolled far back into her head.
There was a doctor standing over her, barking orders to nurses and waving his hand, he rolled Emily on to her side and while Ali stood, her back against the wall, she had to again, feel her world slip away from her, watch as the control left Em's body, as the light left her eyes in unconsciousness and sweet sound of her voice fall back into the recesses of her throat.
Ali watched Emily have her first seizure.
x-x-x-x
After hours of waiting and crying and yelling at everyone who wouldn't tell her anything, Dr. Pearson finally left the room they were holding Emily in and went to find Alison, who was sitting nervously in the nearest hallway.
He had barely stepped through the doors completely when Alison came rushing to him, "where is she, is she alright? When I can I see her?" Her mouth moved a mile a minute but it was nothing compared to the deafening sound of her heart beating rapidly in her ears, making her chest ache with every breath.
Dr. Pearson pinched the bridge of his nose, "Alison I have good and bad news, and since you're clearly panicking, I can you that Emily is okay, she is stable now."
"Now? Well what happened earlier, I mean she was fine, we both were and then out of nowhere-"
"Not exactly nowhere." Dr. P interrupted and Alison met his eyes, confused.
"I don't think in my profession I'm allowed to disclose information to anyone unless I have the patient's consent, or they're underage, but seeing as you are Emily's only loved one, I have to let you know that although she has been going through recovery, she's experienced a setback of sorts due to the condition of her head injury."
Alison felt the outside world fade away, falling into white noise and she fought to hang on to Dr. Pearson's voice.
"Can we, can I- I need to sit."
Dr. Pearson simply nodded before walking her to a seating area a little way down the hall.
"Alison, I would like to tell you what happened but if you need-"
"No, I need to know, what's-"she didn't want to say wrong, because Emily was fine, he had said so, "what is it?" she finished.
Upon a deep breath, Pearson began to talk, "as you know Emily suffered heavily from a TBI or traumatic brain injury, so severe that she was forced into a coma. It's a medical miracle that she woke up so soon let alone could speak again, the memory loss wasn't too shocking after reviewing the CT and MRI scans of her brain.
"However she did sustain scarring on her brain and as a result she may have developed a form of epilepsy, some of the symptoms she has shown, but we are not certain that is what she has."
Alison stared into his eyes, silent, and he took that as his cue to continue.
"Alison, epilepsy in this case, if Emily is diagnosed, would be caused by her brain injury and can be triggered by a factor of things, the most common being sporadic flashing of lights, noises, and in reflex epilepsy, it can be things like reading or looking at something, do you understand?"
Ali nodded, her mouth frozen shut. Pearson sighed.
"Okay, also if Emily went into epileptic shock, she could and did experience a seizure, something very common in her situation."
"How?" it was the first time Ali found her voice, but not the last, "how did this happen? She was supposed to be leaving with me next week, how did this happen?" Ali wasn't mad, or upset, at least not judging from her voice. She was just…scared.
"I-we're not entirely sure, the complications a person can have are unpredictable after such an accident, that's why we ran so many tests-"
"But they didn't work, if they did you should've found this out sooner." Anger bubbled now in her throat.
"Tests can only do and predict so much, but not everything, the brain is tricky. Areas of the brain that are important for some type of seizures, for example partial seizures, are the same areas of the brain involved in emotions and responding to stress. Stress can cause problems with sleeping which is also a seizure trigger. These are connected in a cycle-"
"Yeah a pretty fucked up one."
Dr. Pearson dropped his head, "I know you're upset and some of this may not make sense, and it's going to be hard-"
"Hard? I know hard, hard were the tests in high school, hard was coming back from the dead, I know hard, but this, this is wrong." The anger subsided and Ali was facing tears again, "Emily doesn't deserve this, she didn't deserve any of it, and I never deserved her, if I had just left and stayed gone all those years ago, none of this would have happened, this is all-"
"Don't you say it Alison, this is not your fault okay. There is a monster out there set on hurting you and Emily but you are stronger than whoever that is, you both are and none of this is your fault."
Ali shook her head, "it's all my fault, everything is. I know that, and nothing you say can change that."
Dr. Pearson realized his defeat and didn't push on.
"Dr, what happens now? Now that Em might have epilepsy or some other brain injury related condition, what's going to happen to her?"
"Alison, these seizures may or may not go away. The first one she had was pretty severe-"
"How severe?"
"She is having trouble with her speech, and she may also have problems reading and writing again, they're all common symptoms of a seizure. I've prescribed medications to help, but there's no telling what her triggers are or what she really has. I have to wait until the medication has been in her system long enough to see if they're working."
"But she can get better right? The reading and writing? It'll come back, and her speech, she started stuttering before, but that will go away right? Right?"
Dr. Pearson seen pure fear and horror in the girl's eyes and he wanted to give her more, something to hold on to, something positive, but he couldn't, not without lying, "Alison, it may come and go, the best we can do for her is give her therapy and keep monitoring her medications."
Ali couldn't believe that such a person, that Emily, would have to endure all the pain and hardship, it wasn't fair, it should be her. Ali should be the one in pain, Ali should've almost died, she would give anything trade places.
"Speaking of monitoring, Emily's heart rate sped up right before her attack, and you were with her, can you tell me what happened?"
Ali sucked in a breath, blaming herself further for the state she unintentionally put Emily in by showing her that picture. "Em wanted to see a picture of our friends, I told her we were a close group of five, but I didn't say that they were d- that they were in an accident too, I told her they were away, and she just wanted to see what they looked like. I barely handed her the phone when she squinted. She said when she did, she recognized them that way, from her dreams, she dropped my phone and panicked and I didn't know why? How could a picture of us cause what happened?"
"It may not have been the picture alone. If Emily claims to have seen them, then maybe she has been having dreams, or memories in her sleep, I don't know if you knew but Emily has hardly been getting any sleep…that can also serve as-"
"A trigger?"
Pearson looked sadly into Ali's eyes and nodded, "She is going through a lot, I know you know that, if the memories are somehow coming to her in dreams, she could have night terrors and cause another attack. She doesn't remember anyone or anything really about what happened, so I wouldn't bring up the picture again, but from her perspective, it would be a lot to handle seeing something or someone you think you remember when the only thing you know is that you don't remember anything. I don't know how else I was to say that…but did that make sense?"
Silent seconds ticked past and Ali nodded.
That was the story of her life, when things get good, when she thinks she can have a shot at happiness, the universe rips it away and makes her watch.
"I, I think I'm going to go now, I'll be back tomorrow."
Ali couldn't handle anymore, she couldn't look into Emily's eyes, without hating herself, without wanting to put herself in Emily's shoes.
x-x-x-x
Alison was snapped from her thoughts when Ezra brought the RV to a stop at the west corner of the parking lot at the hospital.
"We can camp here for the night, the hospital and local authorities granted clearance," Ezra stated as he put the trailer in park and cut the engine.
"Ali," Toby asked, "what now?"
Alison stood and walked toward her 'room' to get her bag full of everything she knew about –A. She threw it on the small table near the window and sat down, "now, we start carrying out the plan."
The was a clear cut seriousness and each one of the men in front of her nodded in understanding, it was time for –A to pay.
**AN: I would love to hear from you all, drop a comment and tell me what you think? In the next chapter, you will all know what Ali knows and start to see the plan her and the guys develop. Also they visit an old "friend" for help…I wonder who?