Chapter Seventeen
"You are just so big," Kushina gushes over Deidara who is having difficulty moving around. "Oh god you are definitely carrying twins!"
"For sure," Deidara smiles. He can feel his babies kicking him constantly. They are full of life and safe inside him. He isn't ready to let go yet but he will have to give birth soon. God knows pregnancy can be uncomfortable sometimes. It's worth it just to see the way Itachi sama looks at him.
"Oh wow, I remember when I was about to be a father," Minato laughs at Itachi, "You must be pretty nervous."
Itachi stares at Minato blankly.
"Nervous?" Kisame laughs loudly. "This hoe?" He claps his best friend's shoulder, making Itachi glare at him, "He doesn't know how that emotion works. Or any emotion? Hmm. When was the last time you felt anything?" He asks Itachi, honest curiosity in his voice.
"I am ready for the babies," Naruto tells his mother, "I will raise them properly."
"Hush you," Kushina sighs at her son, "The parents of the babies raise them."
"Thank you," Itachi tells Kushina. He is honestly starting to feel concern that Naruto will disappear with his sons along with Deidara.
"I will love the babies so much!" Naruto is obsessed with the kids Deidara is going to have. He has been hovering around the blond protectively, waiting for him to give birth, and now finally the due date is approaching.
Sasuke watches Deidara jealously, wishing it was Naruto pregnant, waiting to give birth, and it was his child ready to come out into the world.
"Yo," Kakashi bumps shoulders with Sasuke, "How's it hanging."
"Get lost," Sasuke still hasn't forgiven Kakashi for the marriage assignment all those months ago.
"Okay sweetheart," Kakashi says, monotonously and starts to walk away, to where his husband Iruka is standing around surrounded by unmarried young girls who are harassing him for advice. He's kind of their mentor. How to land a young stud like Kakashi?
"No wait," Sasuke sighs, "Oh god I can't believe I am about to talk to you about this."
"Is it the sex talk?" Kakashi says gleefully. "Finally. When a boy and a girl… No. When a boy and a more feminine boy…"
"Actually," Sasuke says mournfully, "This really is about sex."
"Oh," Kakashi looks intrigued, which is amazing, considering his face is eternally covered, "Trouble in paradise? Already? Honeymoon phase over so soon? I figured you two would have issues but within a year."
"You figured we would have issues?" Sasuke frowns.
"Well," Kakashi leans against a nearby wall, "You are a fuckup, kiddo. Like your mentor."
"You are not my mentor." Sasuke grumbles at Kakashi. "Stop calling yourself that."
"Now your brother," Kakashi's gaze is locked on Itachi, "That's someone whose got his life together."
"I am not competing with him." Sasuke huffs. "I am my own person."
"Well how nice for you." Kakashi sounds pleasantly surprised. "Such personal development is rare in an Uchiha. Most of you are so stunted emotionally. Well done."
"Thanks." Sasuke shrugs, "So about the sex. I think I'm doing it wrong."
"You?" Kakashi scoffs. "You basically invented sex, Casanova."
"Why can't I start a family with my mate?" Sasuke sounds hopelessly lost. "What am I doing wrong?"
"It's only been a year. God knows I'm not ready to be a dad like ever."
"You and Iruka are betas, I'm with a uke." Sasuke explains. "Sai keeps making a move on Naruto. It's embarrassing."
"Don't worry about moving too fast." Kakashi smiles beneath his mask. "Focus on enjoying your relationship."
"I want to make my mate happy." Sasuke watches Naruto jealously watching Deidara being all pregnant and glowing. "I can't even give him what he wants most. It makes me feel like a failure. God knows the poor idiot has to be mated to a demon. It's not fucking fair."
"Life isn't fair. We all have our burdens to bear." Kakashi sounds almost parental all of a sudden. Like the godfather he is supposed to be.
"Huh," Sasuke starts to pay full attention to Kakashi, instead of the partial hearing mode he is always supposed to be in. "Okay, and? How do I deal?"
"Enjoy life before it ends." Kakashi responds. "We are all going to die." That said, he flounces off toward his husband.
"That was useless," Sasuke calls out after Kakashi who is hanging out beside Iruka, the two sickeningly happy.
"What was useless?" Minato asks Sasuke, his tone suspicious. "Did you do something to upset Kakashi?"
"That's a question I should be asking you." If there's something Sasuke has learned as a son-in-law, it's the art of being defensive. "What did you do to upset him?" Minato was banned from Kakashi's wedding. It didn't stop him from showing up anyway. To say it was embarrassing for everyone involved is an understatement.
"That's none of your business." Minato's eyes are so similar to Naruto and also not. It's kind of a mind-fuck but Sasuke's had time to get used to it.
"Well ditto to you," Sasuke dares to say. He will probably get maimed one of these days, but to get murdered by one's father-in-law is basically cliché.
"Sasuke," Naruto has materialized beside his husband and it's a skill he has unknowingly acquired. The demon using Sasuke as an apartment doesn't see Naruto as a threat and won't even let Sasuke know when the dobe comes near him.
The dobe is a part of Sasuke now. Sasuke doesn't know what to do with that information.
"Naruto," Sasuke resists the urge to grab his mate's bottom in front of lethal father-in-law. "Are you having a good time?"
"I am jealous." Naruto announces for the thousandth time. "I hate them." He points to Itachi and Deidara who are the centre of all attention, glowing and perfect, surrounded by admirers. The point of a baby shower is to make the baby's parents feel and look good but damn, this couple just attracts attention without even trying.
"You are too damn young," Minato has no qualms about grabbing Naruto; he possessively showers his son with affection. "This is no age to be having a kid."
"Daddy I am old enough to make my own decisions," Naruto pouts, making Sasuke want to maul him even more. "You can't tell me what to do."
"I will always tell you what to do." Minato says sternly. "I will always be your daddy."
"Ugh your father is so hot," Naruto is told by multiple classmates after Minato has thankfully disappeared. "He can be our daddy."
"What?" Naruto is alarmed at this information. He turns to Sasuke, frightened. "Sasuke is my daddy hot?"
"No," Naruto's father is rather attractive but what use does Sasuke have for him?
"Are you sure?" Naruto glares at Sakura who has been giving his dad dreamy stares all evening.
"Positive." Sasuke promises. Minato is just too frightening and masculine for Sasuke to have any kind of sexual interest in. Sasuke wants someone he can dominate. Someone feminine and helpless and controllable.
Sasuke wants Naruto. All the fucking time. Like hooked up to his veins. Sasuke quit heroin but this is going to be a lifetime habit.
"Sasuke?" Naruto gives his husband a worried look.
"Dobe," Sasuke smirks at his delicious, fuckable mate. He doesn't know why his scrumptious, rare uke isn't pregnant but it's definitely not due to lack of interest. Sasuke is definitely interested.
"You are giving me a scary look." Naruto blushes.
"Good," Sasuke raises an eyebrow, a habit he's learned from his brother, "You should be very, very scared."
"We are at a baby shower," Naruto sighs, knowing what his idiotic husband needs right now. Sex. "How can you be turned on right now?"
"Why wouldn't I be turned on?" Sasuke scoffs. "You are sexy everywhere."
"How am I sexy?" Naruto asks, curious. "What do you see in me?"
"I want to eat you," Sasuke growls, pulling Naruto to him, fighting the urge to disrobe his mate and have him right here and now. "You make me sick with pleasure."
"So," Naruto says, "The demon makes you want me?"
"The demon amplifies what I already feel," Sasuke admits, "Like my feelings are a hundred and the demon makes it a thousand."
"That's…" Naruto feels flush with pleasure, "That's pretty damn romantic. You bastard."
"I wasn't trying to be romantic." Sasuke rolls his eyes, which are jet black and soothing. "I am never trying to be romantic."
"But you are," Naruto could possible swoon. "You are so romantic."
"You are so fucking romantic." Says Chouji who is shamelessly eavesdropping, along with so many of their friends. "Sasuke I love you like a well packed sandwich."
"This is like live soft-core yaoi porn," Shikamaru comments, casually observing Sasuke and Naruto who are glaring murderously and blushing respectively. "They are so charged."
"Well," Neji who is standing right next to his love interest, responds, a little defensive, "There's nothing wrong with being this way."
"Sure," Shikamaru shrugs, "If you've got the energy for it. However, I myself believe in being low key."
"Okay," Neji readily agrees. He doesn't want a uke like Naruto anyway. He's interested in Shikamaru in all his beta glory. "That makes sense."
"I would like a simple life," Shikamaru says firmly, "With an ordinary woman."
"Right," Neji feels the floor disappear underneath him as he falls into a dark abyss. "Sure."
"I mean," Shikamaru shakes his head at where Sasuke is pulling Naruto in his lap. "Who wants that?"
"Not me," Neji says, his tone quiet. It's game over.
"That is disheartening," Gaara says from where he's listening to Neji and Shikamaru's conversation nearby.
"The power of love will always win." Lee promises his boyfriend.
"Not here," Gaara cringes at the minute changes in Neji's usually blank expression. The guy looks hopeless. One has to know him for a while to see it. "It's over."
"Oh you don't understand." Lee says sagely. "True love finds a way."
"You don't understand," Gaara says meaningfully, "One-sided love is pointless."
"What's going on?" Sasuke has abandoned Naruto on the couch and has joined Gaara and Lee where they are having a war of optimism versus pessimism.
"Shikamaru just told Neji he's looking for a woman." Gaara tells Sasuke, a horrified look on his face.
"Dear god," Sasuke looks pretty upset himself. "Is Neji okay?"
"You two are overreacting," Lee is mesmerized. He has never seen this crowd express so many emotions before. "Neji and Shikamaru are in love. True love always wins." He repeats, hoping to get through to his frosty company.
"Oh god Neji will die alone," Sasuke makes a mournful sound.
"Stop it, you guys," Lee sighs, "Enough is enough."
"Why did you leave me," Naruto has followed Sasuke, and is now looking up at his husband pathetically.
"Get lost, moron," Sasuke's tone is full of affection and love. Gaara gives him a look of disgust, "Men are talking."
"I want to stay with Sasuke." Naruto declares. "He's with me all the time."
"You two make me sick," Gaara tells Sasuke who gives his mate an approving look. His dobe is acting needy and is craving Sasuke constantly as should be the case.
"Okay," Lee turns to Naruto, risking his life in the process because Sasuke is in overprotective mode. "How did Sasuke win you over?"
"Great question," Gaara gives Lee an admiring look.
"Oh," Naruto frowns at the question. "Sasuke is really good looking!" He smiles happily.
Sasuke feels his heart ready to explode with joy. This is exactly the kind of answer he was hoping to hear from his tasty wife.
"But," Lee lets out a sound of frustration, "Naruto," he leads the cute blond over to the snacks he is starting to eye. "Shikamaru isn't that type of person. He doesn't care about Neji's looks."
"But Neji's good looking." Naruto pouts as he grabs some sweets and starts munching on them. He may not be pregnant but he sure has that kind of appetite.
Sasuke makes a jealous sound. He hates Naruto looking at another male.
"What other reasons made you like Sasuke," Lee helpfully hands Naruto more cake.
"He was going to die," Is Naruto's honest answer.
"What he means to say," Gaara says quickly because Lee doesn't know about the Uchiha curse; that awful information is only for family friends, "Is that Sasuke can't live without Naruto."
"Oh," Lee says, frowning. "You two did get married rather young. Maybe if we created a life and death situation for Neji and Shikamaru, they would feel romantically for each other?"
"How cliché," Gaara states but he isn't opposed to the idea.
"I am down for anything at this point." Sasuke sighs and gives a moping Neji a sad look.
"Stop being sad," Naruto glares at Sasuke. "When you are sad, I'm sad."
"I want to be at this level of intimacy with you," Lee tells Gaara, gesturing to Sasuke and Naruto.
"Yeah," Gaara says dryly, "That is not happening." Sasuke is a demon and Naruto is a uke. They are both certifiably insane. Compared to them Gaara and Lee are… normal.
"Quit being a dumb moron," Sasuke makes sure Naruto has enough pastry. For some reason his provider's instincts are out of control and his mate isn't even pregnant yet. God knows how crazy he's going to be when his mate actually has his baby inside him.
How Itachi remains so calm and controlled all the time is remarkable. He keeps himself in absolute check. Sasuke wishes he was that relaxed around his cute blond, and his need to just smother his dobe with sex and food would chill.
"I think that's enough," Gaara frowns at Sasuke's attempts to feed Naruto cake.
"I think they are cute," Sakura says, joining them.
"Right." Gaara doesn't know what to do with Sakura's suddenly tranquil attitude when it comes to Sasuke and Naruto. She used to be obsessed with Sasuke and now she's all happy for the newlyweds and it's kind of a mind-fuck.
"I'm not cute." Naruto says hatefully, "Stop calling me that. Everyone calls me that." He's trying to be a parent damn it. How can he be trusted to take care of a baby if he's treated like a baby himself?
"I think you are the cutest person alive!" Deidara responds from where he's wandered over in search of cake.
"Okay." Naruto would never disagree with Deidara. He loves him too much.
"Are you okay?" Sasuke who is hyper aware of Deidara's every movement and condition, gives him a critical look.
"Yes," Deidara tries to give Sasuke a reassuring look but fails.
"You should sit down," Sakura starts to lead Deidara toward a nearby couch.
"What's wrong," Itachi materializes beside Deidara in seconds, "Explain."
"I can't explain." Deidara gives his mate an uncomfortable look.
"We are going to the hospital." Itachi declares, and the guests part like the red sea, ready to give the overprotective husband his way.
"Ugh," Kushina makes a face. "I host this freaking baby shower and this happens."
"What's wrong with the baby?" Naruto watches Itachi and Deidara leave with Kisame sadly. "What is happening?"
"Everything's fine." Sasuke says confidently, even though inside he is panicking. He wants his unborn nephews to be okay.