Disclaimer: I do not endorse drug use, the illegal and harmful kind that is.

She wasn't in her room, she could tell because there wasn't a wide French door that opened to a balcony in her room. Her headache was agonizingly painful, she couldn't bring herself to try and recall the events of the day before. She was so, so hungover. Placing a hand over her eyes, she gave trying to make sense of the blur that was her memory of the prior day a shot and came back with nothing.

Feeling movement in the bed, she opened her eyes, sat up, and looked down at herself. Okay, she wasn't naked. The oversized t-shirt she had on wasn't hers which was weird but at least she was wearing underwear. Peeling the duvet slowly off the person lying next to her, she held her breath in anticipation. She fell back on the bed, seeing that it was Benji.

"What the fuck happened last night?" she wondered under her breath.

"Alcohol, gallons of alcohol," Benji answered in a low but audible voice.

"Did we?" She didn't think they did but she had to check.

"No, we didn't," he answered while he rubbed his face.

"You sure? 'Cause, I remember nothing."

He audibly laughed, "Trust me, Beca. I'd remember if you and I had sex." He sat up.

"So, how did we end up here?" she asked.

Benji was about to answer her when they heard knocking on the door. "I should check that out," he said then climbed out of bed. Beca tried not to look at his morning wood that was on display through his boxer shorts and looked at the ceiling instead.

The pain of her headache distracted her noticing the throbbing coming from her hand. Noticing, at last, she held her hand up. "What the fuck," she mumbled, eyeing her newly tattoo index.

She couldn't help but eavesdrop when Benji unlocked the door and recognized their visitor as Benji's cousin David. David's voice helped jock her memory, she was Benji's date for his sister's wedding.

Beca didn't like David at all mainly because he was such a dick to Benji. Other things made her dislike him, too, such as his arrogance but the fact that he straight up bullied Benji then brushed it off as just kidding around was the main reason. He wasn't kidding. He was a fucking bully who felt better about himself when he took jabs at his awkward and nerdy cousin. And, what better way to get back at him for what he put Benji through than to pretend that she and Benji hooked up? Especially when David hit on her not very subtly.

Rhetorical question: No answer needed.

She climbed out of bed and pulled the t-shirt over her head, quickly undoing her bra and grabbing the duvet and wrapping it around herself.

"Benji," she called. "Is that room service you're talking to?" she asked before peeking her head to look at the cousins standing at the door.

"Eh, no, it's just David," Benji answered, rubbing the back of his neck before he tilted his head to look at her.

"Oh, hey, David," she smiled curtly meeting David's gaze and trying to laugh at the look on his face as he eyed her. She tightened her hold on the duvet, looked back at Benji, and regretted it because the look on Benji's face was even funnier: He was so confused.

"I just came up to let you know that everyone is having breakfast downstairs in half an hour," David finally said.

"Save us seats, would you?" She cleared her throat, glancing at Benji. "You know, in case we don't make it downstairs on time," she continued, meeting David's gaze.

"Su-sure," David nodded.

"Okay, great. See you later." Benji said in a rush and closed the door in his cousin's face. "What the heck are you doing?" he asked in confusion.

"Keep your voice down, he could hear you," Beca told him.

"Beca, he must be thinking we slept together!"

"Yeah, that's what I was going for." She sighed. "Look, he's a dick. I heard him give you a hard time over, you know, your love life. This should shut him up." She grabbed his t-shirt and waited until Benji gave her his back before she dropped the duvet and wore the t-shirt.

"You didn't have to do that," he mumbled, turning once he heard Beca unlocked the bathroom door.

"I know." She shrugged. "I won't take long." She nodded at the bathroom. "Um, before I go. When and why did I get this?" She showed him the lightsaber tattooed on her index. "Shit. You got one, too," she added noting the similar tattoo on the very irritated skin of his index finger.

"Oh my god!" he shrieked once he looked down at his newly tattooed finger.

"I'll take that you don't remember," she figured.

"Looking at it intensity won't make it disappear, you know?" Beca mumbled, glancing at Benji to find him staring at his index instead of looking at his sister who was currently getting married.

"Bubbe will get a cardiac arrest once she sees this," he was gently rubbing his thumb against his raw skin.

"Just keep your hand in your pocket when you're around her and you'll be fine." Beca got a neat judgmental look from Benji's grandmother when they first met once the old lady saw the tattoos on her arms and for the brief time she spent in her presence she knew Benji wasn't overacting. His Bubbe, as everyone called her, was quite interesting: very loving and very strict and judgy at the same time.

"Can't I hide it with makeup?" he wondered.

"Not when it's new, you can't," she answered. "Look, at least your tattoo means something to you," she added before she looked back the couple under Chuppah once she heard glass shatter and saw that the groom had just stomped on the glass as part of the Jewish wedding ceremony traditions.

"Mazel tov!" people cheer and Beca just clapped along then followed Benji at the mention of food.

"How did your family react when you got your first tattoo?" Benji asked as the two sat down to eat.

"Grandma asked if the artist told me everything I need to know about taking care of a tattoo and like reminded me all the time to wash it and put ointment until it healed," she recalled. "Dad didn't see it until I went to visit him like three months later and he just sighed."

"Which one was your first?" he went on to wonder.

Beca patted her shoulder because her mouth was full of food and she couldn't exactly talk and Benji nodded understanding it's the rose on her back. They both looked up when David sat in front of them.

"Hi," he greeted. "I couldn't help but notice the fact that your hand never left your pocket, Benji. Are you tryna hide something?" he suggestively said to which Beca rolled her eyes while Benji frowned in confusion not getting what his cousin meant.

"I must say it's not very appropriate to tease my cousin in public where anyone can see, Beca" he continued, meeting Beca's gaze.

"Wait—" Benji began to say then stopped when he felt Beca nudge his leg with hers under the table.

"Did you see us do something unappropriated in public?" Beca questioned to which David shook his head.

"Then I don't see the problem, buddy." She shrugged, smirking as David let out a humorless chuckle.

"That looks new. When did you get it?" he said, noticing the lightsaber on Beca's index.

"Last night," Beca answered.

"Never in a million years would have guessed you're a Starwars fan," he mumbled. "Nor would I have guessed you two are a thing." He gestured between Beca and Benji. "So, how did you manage to woo Beca, cous?" he went on to ask. "Can't be the magic tricks, can it?"

"It's actually a lot of things, David. Benji's got a big heart. He's great in so many ways and great at a lot of stuff," Beca answered before Benji could utter a word, smiling sweetly the boy sitting next to her.

"A lot, huh?"

"Yep," Beca nodded, glad David understood what she was hinting at, unlike his cousin. She also made a mental note to try and educate Benji a little because he was way too clueless for a 20-year-old, it was painful.

"Hey, David, could you not tell everyone," Benji mumbled.

"Why, are you keeping it a secret? Oh, is it you Beca that wants to keep it a secret. I'd totally get it if it's you. I mean, it would make an awful lot of sense if you don't want people to know."

Benji spotted the way Beca clenched her jaw and spoke before she insulted David. "We thought we'd take it slow and not tell our families right away. See where it goes first because we're so, so different and it's very likely not to work out."

"I understand," David nodded. "Well, I better go say hi to uncle Jamie, I haven't seen him in months. See you around." He winked at Beca before he got up.

"You really think that we can't work?" Beca asked once they were alone. "Don't get me wrong, I like you but not to the point where I wanna date you. I'm just curious. Do you really think being different is a deal breaker?"

"Well, no, being different is not a deal breaker." He paused. "I simply cannot like you. You're a heartbreaker which is why I decided from the moment I met you that you're off limits."

"Heartbreaker? What gave you that vibe?"

"Um, everything about you," he chuckled humorlessly. "Your thoughts on life, love, even friendship. I don't understand how you can be friends with someone you're involved with physically and maintain a healthy friendship after ending things. I find it both fascinating and scary because I don't think it's possible to have meaningless sex with a person frequently and not develop feelings. You, however, not only managed to do it but you're also still very good friends."

"It's weird with Jesse. I wouldn't recommend staying friends with a former fuck buddy," she mumbled after a brief period of silence as she reached for a napkin and brought it to her lips.

"Weird. How so?" Benji wondered.

"I don't know." She shrugged. "I feel weird when I'm around him."

"Weird because you want him," he cleared his throat.

"No, not necessarily." She shook her head. "I don't know to put it. He just feels homey. When he looks at me, I feel both anxious and relieved at the same time. And I want to hate that feeling but I don't." She shrugged. "So, I just try to avoid looking him in the eye and ignore it when it gets all weird."

"Tell me," Benji began to say and watched Beca tilt her head to look at him. "Would you describe it as butterflies in your stomach?" he wanted to know and was met with a blank look.

"No," she answered. "I mean, it can't be that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not!" she exclaimed. "I don't want him that way. C'mon, it's Jesse. Sure, he's a great guy but my feelings for him are definitely platonic."

"Okay," Benji said.

"Okay?" Beca frowned.

"Yeah, okay." He nodded. "You don't have to explain yourself. I believe you, just don't yell."

"Okay, good." She tossed the napkin on the table.

"Hey, Becs," Jesse said once he unlocked the door and found none other than Beca Mitchell at his doorstep. "Is everything okay?" It was quite late and he wasn't expecting her.

"Yeah, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd come say hi." She smiled at him.

"Well, come on in." He stepped back and let her inside the house. "I haven't finished unpacking so excuse the chaos." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Where's Thororeo?" Beca asked as she looked for the cat.

"Uh, I think he's asleep somewhere." He closed the door and followed her into his house. "Were you at a party?" He smelled beer off her when she walked past him.

"Yeah." She nodded.

Beca tried not to think about what Benji brought up but it was so damn hard she wanted to strangle Benji. She tried to explain the said weird feeling that washed over her whenever she was around Jesse and came back with nothing. So after a few beers, she decided it was a great idea to go over to Jesse's new place and figure it out there after talking about it with a random dude who thought he'd be getting laid once she was done rambling.

"Oh, the joys of being college," Jesse sighed. "I was sorting out tableware when you knocked," he let her know.

"The joys of adulthood," Beca countered sarcastically and took his lead when he headed to the kitchen. "I knew I smelled pot on you," she mumbled inhaling deeply once the smell of weed hit her.

"When are you going to buy an actual bong?" she asked, noting that he had made a bong out of a watermelon.

"It's just fun to make fruit bongs." He shrugged. "You should hydrate," he continued, handing her a bottle of water he pulled from the fridge then taking her hand in his when he noticed the lightsaber.

"This isn't permanent, is it?"

"It's very permanent," she chuckled.

"Did someone dare you to tattoo a freaking sith lightsaber on your finger or something?"

"No, it's just poor decision making while intoxicated," she told him.

"When?" he wanted to know, letting go of her hand and watching her open the bottle.

"Last weekend when I went to Benji's sister's wedding." She paused to take a sip of water. "Benji got one, too, but in blue."

"Wow." He stepped back and resumed unpacking his tableware.

"Yeah, Benji's still not over it." She grabbed the lighter that was near the bong and picked the watermelon up. "How can I help?" she asked after blowing the puff of smoke in Jesse's direction.

"No, no, I got this. Just drink water and help yourself with some food if you want, dinner leftovers are in the fridge."

"I insist. But I will have the leftovers first."

"Knock yourself out, Bec," he chuckled. "Whoa, not literally!" He rushed to give her a hand when she turned around and walked headfirst into an unlocked cabinet door.

"I'm fine. It doesn't hurt. I can't feel it." Beca was saying as she got back on her feet thanks to the hand Jesse gave her.

"But you will tomorrow." He quickly grabbed a bag of carrots from the freezer and handed it to her. "And you will also have a nasty bruise on your forehead." He held her until she sat down on a chair. "I'll heat dinner for you. You just sit and drink water."

"But, Jesse, if I sober up now I will feel the pain of the hit I just received," she reasoned.

"Alright, smartass, do what you want to do. Just keep pressing that bag against your head unless you're cool having a bruise." He opened the fridge and pulled what was left of dinner to heat for her.

"So, how was the party?" Jesse asked as she ate the chicken he just heated for her while he stored tableware and got high.

"Eh." She shrugged. "I honestly would rather stay in and watch some dumb TLC show about weird addictions than go out."

"Why didn't you just stay in and do that? Why go out?" he asked.

"I haven't had sex in a couple of months, that's why," she deadpanned.

"Oh, I feel you," he sighed. "You're here which means you should have just stayed in and watched TLC instead."

"Word."

"That's alright. You'll get laid. I mean look at you, Becs. You're hot, smart, and really funny."

"So are you. Even with the out of control beard. I'm sure there are girls out there that are into it." She looked down at the chicken on her plate instead of looking at his face.

"Aw, Bec, thanks. You don't know how much that means to me." He squeezed her shoulder. "It's been longer than two months and it is doing wonders to my self-esteem."

"How long?" She arched an eyebrow.

"Last time we hooked up long," he mumbled, stroking his beard.

"Dude, that's a really long time."

"I know," he agreed.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah." He shrugged.

"It's been two months and I feel like I'm going insane. I don't know if I should worry about you or envy you."

"Neither. You should finish eating before it gets cold, though."

She rolled her eyes and gave her meal her attention. "Just tell me you're at least trying to get laid." Okay, she was worried about him. "I don't want your dick to stop working properly."

"I'm fine, Beca." He leaned against the counter and grabbed the watermelon bong, taking a hit from it.

"Prove it," she spoke and received a puzzled look from Jesse. "I didn't think before saying that. Stop looking at me like that… why are you looking at me like that?" His expression went from confused to thoughtful in a split second.

"Nothing." He shook his head. "Are you done with that?" He nodded at the plate.

"Yeah." She sucked her teeth while he picked the plate and went to wash it. "You totally thought about proving your dick is fine, didn't you?" she figured.

"No." She heard him answer.

"Really?" She got up and made her way to the sink, leaning against it.

"Okay, yes," he admitted, glancing at her. "But only for a second." He put the plate down and used his t-shirt to dry his hands.

"Hey, so, I'm drunk and I don't think I can come up with something smart to say so I'm just gonna ask you if you wanna give it a go since we're both in dire need of some action and are available," she said to which Jesse chuckled for a second before realizing she wasn't kidding.

"It's all good up here, right?" She flickered his forehead.

He nodded and took her hand in his.

"Good." She reached with her other hand and cupped his cheek. "I'm really glad you're doing great." When they ended their relationship, Beca thought it was because Jesse needed some me-time since he wasn't feeling well mentally which was half the truth— she didn't need to know that he also had tiny feelings for her back then.

"So, wanna do this or what?" she asked and grinned when he leaned in, taking it for a yes.

"Are you okay there, Beca?" Jesse asked, peeking his head into the bathroom to look at Beca who was puking.

"No," she answered.

"I'll go get you some water, hang in there." He rubbed his eyes and turned on his heel, coming back a minute later with a glass of water.

"Thanks," she mumbled, spitting into the toilet bowl and flushing it before she pulled herself up. "Go back to bed, Jesse. I'm fine."

"Ha, nice try. So, you would sneak out while I'm asleep? Nope, not happening," he sleepily said, shaking his head and leaning against the doorway after she accepted the glass from him.

"Do you have painkillers in here? My head is killing me."

"Yeah, check the mirror cabinet," he yawned.

"Seriously, go to bed. I won't sneak out. I'm dying."

"No," he replied.

"Dude, I'm nude."

"I can see that." He rolled his eyes when she glared at him. "Fine," he mumbled and went into his bedroom.

"You know what would help you feel a little better?" he mumbled, pulling her against his chest once she climbed back onto the bed.

"Sex?"

He chuckled. "Well, sex would take your mind off your hangover but I'm really tired right now." He placed a peck on her hair. "Pot would help ease the pain. Would you like to smoke some?"

She nodded. "I'll go get it from downstairs." He pulled himself up and hopped off the bed.

He was in the process of rolling her a joint when he stepped back into his bedroom. "Bec, you still up?"

Her response was to groan. He lit the joint and took a drag from it. "Here you go." He held it her way as he sat down on the bed. He waited until she took it before he got under the covers.

"Feeling any better?" Jesse asked, interrupting the silence they got in.

"Yeah," she replied and snuggled up to him when he pulled her closer. "Much better." She smiled, feeling him make random patterns on her arm.

"Let me put this out before we start a fire." He took the joint from her and took a drag from it before he put it out. "This is nice," he mumbled and Beca hummed in agreement.

It wasn't just nice, it was a lot more than that. She was drunk when they hooked up but not too drunk to black out and if it wasn't for the pot she had smoked she would be freaking out because it was perfect. Everything was perfect. Jesse was perfect. And, those butterflies Benji talked about, they were on steroids.

Being intoxicated was probably the only reason she let herself admit to herself that everything she felt with every kiss, every touch, was due to the not very platonic feelings she had for Jesse.

She was screwed and she didn't mind, but that was probably the pot working its magic.

Beca woke up a few hours later and was alone in bed. She rubbed her face as everything came back to her and she seriously needed time to process. She took a couple of therapeutic breaths and bottled it all down for later.

She could hear Jesse downstairs making breakfast as she climbed out of bed and got dressed, throwing her clothes from the night before back on, then headed to the bathroom to freshen up.

"Morning, bestie," Jesse greeted when Beca stepped into the kitchen. "How are you feeling?" he wanted to know.

"I'm doing okay," she answered. "I think."

"You'll feel better once you had some breakfast."

"You're in an awfully good mood," she noted, sitting down and holding her mildly aching head.

"That I am," he sighed. "I feel like I could run a marathon." He placed a stack of pancakes for each one of them.

"Easy there, buddy, it's just sex." She tilted her head to look at him when he held a mug of coffee her way.

"Great sex that is," he grinned, meeting her gaze.

"Are you gonna throw up?" Jesse asked as he took a seat. "You look a little green."

"No, I'm fine." She ran a hand through her hair before she took a sip of coffee.

"I was meaning to ask your opinion on something," he started to say.

"Shoot."

"So, there's someone that I really like and who happens to live across the country," he began to say and she could feel her heart fall but she nodded and kept her expression neutral. "I wanna fly her over for a few days but I don't know if it would a good move. I don't want to creep her out. Do you think I should go for it?"

"Does she know you like her?" Beca asked.

"I think she does. I mean, we constantly text and flirt."

"Then go for it, man." She shrugged. "You can't just text forever. If you really want to turn it a real thing do something about."

"Shouldn't I go visit her and ask her in person if she'd like to come to Barden?"

"That's an option, too. Where does she live?"

"Idaho, I met her when Sarah and I were on the road," he answered. "Her name is Amber."

"Funny you never mentioned her before." Nope, that couldn't possibly be jealousy she was feeling, she didn't fully realize she had feelings for him until the night before.

"There wasn't a right time. She's just a friend I text. It's just that this morning I realized that I don't want to abstain from sex because it's just so awesome nor do I want to have casual sex anymore… I realized that I'm ready to date again." He let out a breath.

"How nice," she deadpanned. She didn't mean to sound sarcastic. She was happy for him but sarcasm was second nature and she was feeling a tiny bit jealous. "Who knew all you needed was some drunk/stoned sex with your former fuck buddy?"

"Don't call yourself that. You're probably the closest friend I have. I'd call you Family but it would super weird since we had sex and all."

She filled her mouth with pancakes and nodded her head. "I hope it works out with this Amber person," she said and meant it, despite the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach. She'll figure out a way to get rid of those feelings she had for him.

"Thanks, Beca." He smiled and brought his mug of coffee to his lips. "I hope so, too." He took a sip of coffee then said, "while on the topic of dating, when are you gonna give it a shot? You're not leaving for L.A. anymore, what's stopping you."

"Monogamy doesn't sound so appealing."

"So, you don't think there's anyone out there you like enough you'd want to date them?"

She shook her head. "Nope, not going to be either."

"C'mon, really?"

"Yeah, really. That's what years of no fucks from either parent would do to a person."

"Oh, so you acknowledge you have issues." He won't deny it, he was surprised Beca casually mentioned her issues.

"Of course, I'm aware I have abandonment issues. I just made peace with them."

"You can't just make peace with your issues. You're supposed to work on them and truly believe that not everyone you let in is going to abandon you."

"Can we go back to talking about this Amber chick?" She rubbed her temples.

"No, I'm not gonna drop it. You know why?" he didn't wait for her to answer. "Because you let me into your life and I care about and won't abandon you."

"First off, you kinda weaseled your way in because you're great in the sack."

"Thanks." He grinned.

"Second, you can't fix me, Jesse. I'm a big girl, I know what's right for me. I know I'm damaged goods and I frankly don't care. Third, I just don't want to date. I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want something meaningful. I'm good. And, I'd appreciate it if you respected that."

"Fair enough." He held his hands up.

"Thank you."

"But I wanna be the first to know once you change your mind about dating."

"What makes you think I ever would?"

"You will. Someone will come along and sweep you off your feet and you won't know what hit you. Until you come to terms with the fact you, Beca Mitchell, are falling in love and it's so strange and new and exciting. And, this person will be the reason you face your issues because you want to be with them and they're worth it."

"Wow, what movie plot did you just describe?" she managed to sound sarcastic as she rolled her eyes despite the panic his words brought. Some of what he described was very accurate, which made her dread the part about falling in love and wanting to be in a relationship.

"Roll your eyes all you want, Beca, but you'll see. And I'll be here to tell you: "I told you so"," he confidently said.

"You know I was gonna offer to help you unpack but I'm starting to change my mind."

"Fine, I'll shut up about it... for now." He grinned when she rolled her eyes yet again.

AN: Thoughts?