A/N: This chapter begins in the middle of episode 1x16, Stray, right after Lionel offers Lex a position at LuthorCorp (since up to this point, Lex has been "exiled" to the plant in Smallville). The Kents are also temporarily looking after Ryan, an abused 11-year-old who has been affected by Kryptonite such that he can read minds.

Chapter 11 - Hidden darkness

Lex kept his facial expression blank until his father left the study, but as soon as he left, he let his breath out and dropped into the chair behind his desk. He could feel cold points of sweat beading on his head.

His father wanted him to come back to Metropolis. To come home, to work together. For Lex to be his father's advisor. He had even told Lex that his work was adequate.

Though Lex had tried hard not to show it, his heart rate had doubled at the compliment. He hated that such small words could affect him so much. He wanted to blame his vulnerability on the Kents, to claim that they had softened him.

But it wasn't true. If anything, his father's words would have hit him harder if he hadn't been listening to Mrs. Kent so much. Mrs. Kent was always telling him he was a "good" man, a "good" role model, a "good" friend.

The word "adequate" shouldn't have been enough, after hearing "good" so many times from Mrs Kent, but somehow, coming from his father, it meant more than the word "good" might have. "Good" was a trap; "adequate" was a business evaluation. "Good," his father would never say and mean; "adequate," that was the truth.

"You really believe that?"

The voice again. Lex clenched his teeth and pulled himself up from the desk, heading over for his pool table.

This time, though, that wasn't enough to quiet it.

"You've fallen into this trap before, Lex."

Lex's hands shook as he collected the pool balls from their pockets and arranged them in the center of the table

"You're so desperate. So pathetic. Do you think—" it almost laughed. "Do you think he LOVES you?"

He brought the pool cue down on the table with a loud CRACK! "Well, what do you think I should do?" he shouted.

He stepped back, knees shaking violently, and braced his hands against the edge of the table. He was speaking to the voice. Speaking aloud. That was a first for him.

"Go to Metropolis," the voice said finally. "It's where you belong. You don't deserve to be here, with the Kents."

"No! I don't want to go back!"

The voice was silent.

Lex breathed as hard as he would have if he'd just run a marathon. "I don't want to go back," he whispered.

Martha waited with Ryan for his aunt to come pick him up. Her heart throbbed with pain at the anticipation of bidding him good bye, and she knew Clark must be feeling the same way, but it wouldn't do Ryan any good for her to break down in front of him. She sliced up apples for another pie—she'd made the excuse that it was because Ryan and Clark went through the first one the night before, but really, she just wanted to keep her hands busy.

A light knock on the door. Martha put down her knife and headed over to the door, swallowing hard—Ryan's aunt wasn't supposed to be coming by until later in the day. The last time she'd released Ryan to someone earlier than planned, he'd ended up being kidnapped.

But it wasn't Ryan's aunt, or anyone coming to collect Ryan at all. Lex stood outside the door.

Martha let her breath out, thankful for the extra time with Ryan and also for the distraction. "Hi, Lex. Clark is out doing some morning chores with his father."

"That's okay, Mrs. Kent. I actually came to talk to you."

"Is everything alright?"

"Everything's fine, I just needed some advice."

She nodded, glancing over her shoulder at Ryan, who was nibbling on an apple she hadn't sliced. "Well, Ryan's here, waiting to be picked up. If you want to talk privately, you might want to come back later this afternoon."

"Oh, it's no secret. I just need to make a decision on something. I can come back later if you would prefer, though."

"No, come on in." Martha held out a hand to usher him inside, and returned to the kitchen counter.

Lex sat down beside Ryan. "Hey, Ryan."

Ryan just stared at him. Martha made a mental note to ask him about it later. "How are you, Lex? Clark said you were thrown out of a moving vehicle last night."

"Oh. Yeah, but I'm fine, that's not why I'm not here."

"Is this about your father's job offer?" she asked.

He smirked. "I take it Clark told you."

She nodded. She'd had half a mind to call Lex as soon as she heard, but figured her unsolicited advice might do more harm than good. At the same time, the thought of Lex voluntarily returning to work for his abusive father made her stomach clench. "You're trying to decide whether to go."

"I was supposed to give my father an answer last night."

She looked him deep in the eyes, and waited until he looked back into hers. "Are you happy in Smallville, Lex?"

He immediately looked away.

She sighed. She had no idea what that meant. Of course, Ryan could simply read his thoughts—she wished she could just ask Ryan when Lex left, but she knew that that would probably be an enormous invasion of privacy. "Okay, well, would you be happy in Metropolis?"

"I don't know how to answer those kinds of questions, Mrs. Kent, and I'm not sure it's relevant to my father."

"Well, it is to me."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I've wanted to go back ever since I got here."

"Do you still want to?"

"I don't know. I guess that's why I came . . ." He winced. "I'm sorry, I'm wasting your time—"

"I can't tell you what to do with your life, Lex. But our family has friends who work at your plant, and they say good things about it. They respect you a lot, especially Gabe Sullivan—he still talks about how you saved his life and Chloe's, that day when the plant was taken hostage."

"It's—I wasn't—"

"Lex, I'm just saying you've done a lot of good here. I'm sure you could go on to do a lot of good in Metropolis, too." That was all she could give him. She wanted so badly to beg him to stay, to protect himself, but that wasn't who he was. He spent so much of his time working to protect other people; at the end of the day, he would probably go wherever he felt he could do that best, even to his own detriment.

His eyes met hers, just for a moment, then he took his cell phone out of his pocket and stood from his seat. "My father is expecting my answer. I have to go meet him."

She stepped around the counter to walk him toward the door. "I know you'll make the right choice for you, sweetheart." She placed a gentle hand on his back.

He stiffened.

She pulled her hand back and chided herself. She should have known by now that physical contact made him uncomfortable, and she should only be using it in cases where his distress was extreme enough that the comfort would be greater than his uneasiness. "I'm so sorry, Lex."

"No, no, it's okay!"

She smiled a little. His too-quick reply had told her everything she needed to know. His cheeks turned pink, but when she replaced her hand on his back, a hint of a smile played with the corners of his lips, and didn't fade as he walked out to his car.

Martha returned to slicing apples at the kitchen counter. Now it was Ryan who looked uneasy.

"Is everything okay?"

"Mrs. Kent, you have to be careful of him. There's a lot of darkness he hides."

"What do you mean?"

"There's . . . something inside him."

She raised her eyebrows. "Something you saw in his thoughts?"

"Yeah. Most people have . . . I think it's called an internal monologue? Not everyone, but most people. That's what I hear when I read people's thoughts."

"Yes, I know. What did you hear?" She still felt uncertain about knowing Lex's personal thoughts, but it felt less like an invasion of privacy if Ryan was volunteering the information out of concern for Lex or Martha.

"Lex has two."

"He has two? Two internal monologues?"

"Yeah."

"How does that work?"

"Kind of like multiple personality disorder, except I met someone with MPD once. She had two voices, but I could only hear one of them at a time. Lex has two at the same time."

"How can you tell? Do the voices sound different?"

"Not exactly. They talk over each other, but not like they're arguing. More like they can't hear each other, and they're fighting for control over him. I don't know if Lex can hear both of them. I don't know which one he's listening to." There was a haunted look in the boy's eyes.

Martha nodded slowly and waited for him to finish. Given what little she knew about Lex's background, and even just the trauma he'd been through in the past couple of months, she might have expected that a mind reader would encounter something unusual, peering into Lex's brain.

Ryan swallowed hard. "One of them is good, and one of them is . . ."

"Evil?"

"Really evil. Not like my step-parents, they were just selfish and didn't care who got in their way. This is something else."

"Something darker."

"Yeah. But I think he's keeping that side hidden. It's . . . fuzzy, like he's not completely conscious of it."

All along, she'd been right to watch out for him. Lex had made it clear, despite trying to hide it, that the Kents were his only lifeline. Clark was a good friend to Lex, but he might not have remained that way if she'd allowed Jonathan to sway his thinking. And considering the wealth and intelligence at Lex's disposal . . . if Ryan was right about that inner darkness, she shuddered to think what Lex might become someday if no one bothered to make the effort to take care of him.

"That dark side," she said finally. "Is he fighting it?"

Ryan grimaced. "I think so. I hope so."

She smiled sadly, returning to her apple slices. "Well, we'll have to make sure he's not fighting alone."