A/N: This chapter takes place after 2x4, Red, in which Clark first puts on a red Kryptonite ring and runs wild.

Chapter 18 - Jealousy

Lex sat at his desk staring at his laptop, trying to get work done, but the events of the day kept running through his mind.

Clark had shown up in a $2000 coat, all but demanded to borrow the Ferrari, and later informed Lex he was running away with some girl—and it wasn't even Lana. Lex had only just managed to stall him by inviting himself along.

He'd chalk the whole thing up to Clark being a teenager, but Clark had never, ever once shown signs of fear, worry, or bitterness over his family's poverty. Mr. and Mrs. Kent bore the stress, and it had taken Lex a lot of effort not to offer to help them, but Clark never seemed to feel the strain or even think about it, aside from some occasional momentary embarrassment when Lex said the wrong thing at the wrong time.

If not for everything he'd seen in Smallville over the past year, Lex would have suspected that he'd vastly misjudged Clark from the start. But after everything he'd seen, it felt more likely that Clark had been temporarily infected by some mysterious disease or toxin that had left him temporarily insane.

He wished Clark would just tell him what it had been. But Clark didn't like to talk about what his friend Chloe would have called "Wall of Weird" material. A year ago, Clark had yelled at Lex when he asked him to be honest about what happened during the car accident; a few weeks ago, he'd refused to speculate what might have allowed Desiree her powers of persuasion. Today, however much Lex wanted to know what had happened, he wasn't willing to risk an argument about that.

It was one thing for Clark to insist on keeping secrets about himself, but it felt a lot more exasperating when Clark clearly knew more than he was letting on about things that involved Lex. There was nothing Lex could do about it, though, so he tried hard not to let it get to him.

Besides, today he had other reasons to be frustrated with Clark.

"Hey Lex."

Lex looked up from his laptop. Clark stood in the doorway of the study. "Hey, Clark."

"I brought back the Ferrari."

Lex nodded. "Can I give you a ride home?"

"It's okay, my mom is coming to pick me up." Clark shoved his hands into his pockets, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Something on your mind?"

Clark walked the rest of the way into the study, stopping a few feet short of the desk. "I really messed things up with Lana."

"What happened to Jessie?"

"She's, uh . . . she's gone."

Lex raised his eyebrows, but decided to let it go. That was the least of his concerns, and it wasn't his business. "I see."

"Like I said, I messed up. And Lana's still upset with me."

"Yeah? How about your parents?"

"What about them?"

"I heard what you did at the farm."

"Oh. Yeah. Won't be making that mistake again." Clark smiled a little, but his face fell when he saw the look on Lex's face. "You're not upset with me for that, are you?"

Lex closed his laptop and stood from the desk. "How did you afford all of those things?"

"I . . . might have stolen my parents' credit cards." Clark winced. "But don't worry! I returned everything."

"I just never pegged you for the materialistic type, Clark."

"You should talk!" Clark spread out his arms, gesturing to the mansion.

Lex's heart pounded hard against his rib cage. He had probably been asking for that comment. Still, most people made snide remarks about Lex's wealth; Clark had never once. He and his family were the only ones who had always seen through the money to Lex himself. "Are you jealous of me, Clark?"

"No!" Clark retorted a little too quickly, and sighed. "Not exactly. Most of the time I don't even think about it, but sometimes . . ."

"Sometimes what?"

He shook his head. "You don't know what it's like. You've never had to worry about money, not once in your life."

Lex took a step toward Clark. "I would give anything to trade places with you."

Clark's expression darkened. "You want to be poor?"

"You've never seemed to mind it. What happened to you?"

"You want to know what happened?" Clark's voice rose steadily. "I saved up my own money for months to buy a class ring, and my dad said it was my choice how to spend the money, and then I bought it, and my dad got all upset with me, lecturing and guilting. He didn't care how hard I worked to save the money, he didn't care that it was my choice to make—he even said it was my choice to make, and then he still got upset!" Clark's voice shook.

Lex tried and failed to imagine having such a close relationship with his father that a disagreement over something so small would bring him close to tears. "Is he still upset with you for stealing the credit cards?"

"I . . . I don't think so. He made me return everything, but—"

"Good!"

"Are you mocking me?"

Lex shook his head. "You don't know how good you have it, Clark. You were going to run away from all of that. How—how could you . . ."

Clark scoffed. "Lex, you can't imagine—"

"What can't I imagine, Clark?"

"You've always had everything you've ever wanted!"

Lex slammed his fist down on the desk. "I only want one thing, Clark, and I'll never, ever get it!"

The silence in the room after his outburst roared in his ears.

Clark swallowed. "Lex . . ."

Lex shook his head, unclenching his fist. He wanted to apologize for yelling, but his voice caught in his throat.

". . . Lex, are you jealous of me?"

He looked away, blinking a few times, waiting for the tightness in his throat to settle down before speaking again. "Your parents love you."

Clark let his breath out, fidgeting with his fingers for a moment. "They love you too, you know."

Lex knew that. But his own father would never love him. "It's not the same, Clark. I'm not their flesh and blood."

"Neither am I!"

He'd worded that wrong. "I'm not their son."

Clark's brow furrowed. "Lex . . . they've told you you're part of their family. What do you think you are?"

Lex's breath caught again, and this time he couldn't let it out until Clark had trudged out of the study and out of sight.

"You can't be considering believing him."

Lex flinched. The voice had been quiet and half-hearted for the past few months. This was the first time in awhile that it had spoken so convincingly.

"He lies to you. He keeps secrets. He doesn't trust you."

"We all have our secrets."

"Pete knows them."

A heavy weight pressed into Lex's chest. He'd seen the way Pete leered at him, like he knew something Lex didn't. "I'm lucky to be part of their lives at all. Everyone has secrets, this has nothing to do with me. It's not personal."

"You believe that?"

No, he didn't.

That old anger boiled up inside him again, the anger over Clark's lies. He took deep breaths, but his teeth clenched, his jaw pulsing.

He'd kept it under control for a long time—he had to keep it under control, if he wanted to keep the Kents as his friends—but every once in awhile, it hit him afresh. If they could be lying to him about this, how could he trust them about anything?