Of love and misunderstandings.
Bella was in her tent, crying her eyes out. She couldn't believe it, yet she should've expected it. She was being sent back. To the Shire. After all, she lived with her- the dwarrows, she was just coldly and formally asked to leave Erebor as soon she could. Yes, it is true that she had given the Arkenstone to Bard and Thranduil, but she had done it to save them. Surely, they understood that now that they were free of the gold sickness. Then why? Why were they rejecting her? Her head chose that moment to throb painfully, reminding her of the injury. She had not seen a healer, deeming it useless to see another than Oin. But when she found him, she learned of Fili's, Kili's and Thorin's state, and suddenly, her own seemed unimportant. Then when the Durins were all awake and recovering, she had thought about seeing the white-haired dwarf, but the company hinted to her to leave and she didn't have the heart to do anything then weeping like a faunt.
She had been convened to the king's tent, only to find the whole company in it, grim face. Ori even had tears in his eyes. "You asked for me, your highness?" She had asked, bowing deeply, watching her feet. If it was just to see the deception, anger and hate in their eyes again, Bella preferred not looking at them at all. Thorin had sighed deeply, sounding troubled. "Bella Baggings. Yes, I have asked for you. We all know you miss Bag-End and the Shire very much, and we do not want to keep you from your home. Gandalf offered to accompany you back. He… He goes on his way in two days. You can go with him… or not." He sounded strangely hopeful. Of course he's hopeful. He wishes for you to be on your way as soon as possible. The darker part of her whispered and she fought against the tears that were welling up in her eyes. Trying to keep her voice even, she answered with a tone carefully blank. "Of course your grace. I'll leave with him in two days. I'll go pack immediately." Her sentence was barely finished that she had already fled, not meeting anyone's gaze. But if she had, she would have seen the pain and guilt in Balin's and Dori's faces. If she had looked up, she would have seen the tears streaming on Ori's, Kili's and Fili's cheeks. She would have seen Oin's, Gloin's and Nori's pale faces and far away gazes. If only she had looked at them, she would have seen Thorin's crumpled form in guilt and self-hate. She would have seen Dwalin's lost eyes, his tightly curled fists, his clenched jaw and the single tear he allowed to fall as his soul was teared in two. But she missed it all, certain that they hated her and wanted her gone.
It hurt. It hurt a lot. Those dwarrows were her family, at least on her side. She now understood that there never was family and friendship bonds between them and her. She imagined it and got too involved. She was nothing more than a mean to an end for them. Dwalin never felt anything towards her as she had hoped. That hurt the most. It pained her greatly to know that they all despised her but Dwalin? That felt like thousands of sharp knives stabbing her nonstop. He was her soulmate, the one Lady Yavanna choose to be her half. She had thought that since he was her half, maybe she was his. And he seemed quite concerned with her safety, as he showed in her smial, in the Misty Mountains or at the Carrock, when he 'offered', more like ordered, for her to learn swordsmanship with him. She had hoped he felt something, anything, for her. But when his furious, betrayed and disappointed eyes met hers while the whole Arkenstone disaster, she knew she was absolutely nothing to him. Nothing more than a hindrance, a weak, stupid hobbit lass. And that led her here. On her cot, in her tent, bawling like a child, reminiscing the times where Dwalin was proud of her, instead of packing like she was supposed. She spent a while like that, remembering his laugh when she disarmed him for the first time, when careful knocks were heard. Dori and Nori entered, holding 2 chests, full of gleaming gold and shiny jewels. They left it next to her bed and stood in front of the door. "Is there a tea, or anything, that I could bring to you?" The eldest asked nervously, carefully choosing his words. "No thank you Master Dori, Master Nori. You both have done enough already." She replied, trying to smile at them even if she knew it was more a grimace than anything else. The brothers winced and left quickly. They were certain she was talking about their lack of reaction when she was in danger of death, while she was just trying to be thankful for all she had lived with them.
The next two days Bella spent holed up in her room, not getting any visits, stuck in dark thoughts. She wrote a letter that she left on the dresser, for her dwarrows to find it before joining Gandalf, who smiled tenderly at her. As she mounted her pony, she glanced at the company. Neither Dwalin nor Thorin were to be seen and that relieved her as much as it pained her. Waving weakly at her frien- comrades, she left trailing behind Gandalf, biting back sobs as her very soul was tearing apart, aching because it was separated from its half. Little did she know that Dwalin was watching her leave, heart breaking a little more with every step his One's pony took, nor that the letter she wrote fell under the wooden dresser with a harsh wind breeze.
4 years later. "Your highness! Your highness!" A dam called out, running to join her king faster. Dwalin rested his hands on the hilt of his axes, while Thorin frowned at the intrusion. "We found something your highness! It was in Miss Baggings room. It's a letter sire." In a few rapid strides, the King Under the Mountain snatched the object from her hands. "Why wasn't it found before?" He growled and the lady seemed nervous. "It was under the dresser, and you said not to touch her room until this morning. In case she came back, my king." She reminded him. "Call an urgent meeting of the company. In ten minutes, my rooms." He ordered to Dwalin and Balin, who snapped out of their dazes and nodded. Ten minutes later, they were all there, minus their beloved burglar. "What is this urgent meeting about?" Bofur asked, confused and the others nodded. Taking a deep breath, Thorin explained. "You all know I never allowed Bella's room to be touched. Well this morning I asked that it be aired and cleaned. Yet the dams came back with most troubling news. Bella left a letter." Shouts erupted form everyone. Each of them had something to yell, even shy Ori and quiet Bombur. "SHUT UP!" Dwalin thundered. "Do you not want to know what she wrote?" The warrior asked, glaring at them all and silence enveloped them once more. "I'll read it out loud." Thorin said, gulping as his trembling hands opened the letter.
Dear company of Thorin Oakenshield,
When you'll be reading this, I'll be leaving to the Shire in company of Gandalf the Grey. – "Oh, dear we were supposed to read it immediately." Someone gasped – I know that you all hate me, but please try to understand I gave that thrice cursed stone only to save your lives. I wanted for peace to be kept. Even if I failed. My betrayal was useless in the end. I failed at keeping Erebor safe, and for that I beg your forgiveness. A lot of men, elves and dwarves died because of my uselessness. I thank Mahal and Yavanna every day for keeping you all alive. It would have hurt much more than this does. During the long quest, I've come to think of you all as my kin, my own big overprotective family. I thought about staying in The Lonely Mountain with you all. But of course, I just had to go and ruin it all. I know that you impatiently waited for me to leave, but if you even read this letter before throwing it in the fire, tea is at four, don't bother knocking. You are always welcome in my humble home. If you decide to not forgive me and completely forget me, I wish you luck and happiness. Cherish your kin and loved ones for they disappear in a blink of eye.
Yours, Bella Baggings.
The letter slipped from the king's hands as he looked at the company wide eyed. "Did… Did she really think we hated her and wanted her gone?" Bombur's shocked voice echoed in the silence. The dark-haired king only nodded, unable to speak. Expectedly, the young ones burst into sobs, while Dwalin picked up the letter to read it again. "We have to go! We have to go in the Shire!" Gloin yelled, angered at their foolishness and that the lass would think herself as useless. "You're right my friend. We have to go and talk with our burglar." No cheers were heard as they were all too shell-shocked to do anything. They left the day after that, Dis being the temporary Queen during Thorin's absence. Protests have been voiced but went unheard as the company was determined to ask the forgiveness of the kind-hearted little hobbit lass they all missed.
Dwalin was in some sort of daze, stuck in his thoughts and memories. For two weeks already, as they rode, he thought about all his moments with his lovely One. Their trainings, the times they rode next to each other, the times she joined and kept him company while he was on watch, the stories she shared in front of the fire, the song she sang with her beautiful voice… He remembered all that, a soft smile on his lips. And before he knew it, they were in the Shire. In an hour or two, he would be in front of the girl he dreamed about every day for 4 long years. With every step he took, his soul ache was easing a little. He had a lot of time to think, he didn't want to wait another second. He was going to confess to her as soon as they had a moment together. During those years, he had drowned himself in his work to try and forget about her, yet he never could. But a Captain of the Guard never really has much time for himself, and that made little to no time to daydream. In a way, it was exactly what he needed. Mahal's balls, he could see her round green door. He felt nervous, more than he ever did, but with one glance to the others, he knew they were all as anxious as he was. Thorin took a deep breath before knocking powerfully. The door creaked open on… nothing? "Are you the dwarrows from the story?" A small high-pitched voice asked. All gazes went down and they looked at a small little, naked?... hobbit. Which widened eyes and raised eyebrows. "Depends on the story lad." Bofur answered, shocked by the size of the wee thing. He had never seen a babe so small, let alone a child. Dwalin felt his heart being ripped from his chest violently. Bella had a son, which by extension, meant she had a husband. He just wanted to start weeping like a dwarfling. "The one with the big dragon and mean orc." The kid added, not bothered by the fact he was naked. "FRODO BAGGINGS! What did I say to you about answering the door naked?" Bella's angry voice roared. The boy at least looked sheepish. "Yes, but…" He was cut off by a furious bellowing. "No buts, young boy! Go get clothed right now, or I'll shave your feet, by Yavanna's sake!" He was on his way before he warned them. "Be careful, she's angry. Mean Lobelia was mean again." Then he was on his way, butt naked, leaving behind him 13 confused dwarves. "What the hell?" Kili said, incredulous. "Now, what can I do…" The hobbit lass trailed off as she saw them. "You… Y-you are here?" At the nod of Balin's head, she promptly fainted. Dwalin caught her before she could hurt herself. "YOU KILLED AUNTIE BELLA!" The young Frodo yelled as he returned, clothed. "No, no, don't worry. She just fainted. The shock, you see." His brother explained to the faunt.
While they were waiting for their hostess to wake up, Gloin started a conversation with the child. "So, Bella's your Auntie. Where are your parents?" Frodo's eyes were watering. "Pa and Ma died in a river. If you killed Auntie Bella, I'll be very angry at you. She's the only one I have left." He confessed in a small, uneven voice. He didn't expect the red-haired dwarf's arms to circle around him and gather him in a hug. "I'm sorry boy. But don't worry, I'll sooner cut my own beard than to hurt Bella. She should awake in a minute or two." He said sadly. The conversation stalled a little before Balin asked. "Is there a Mister Baggings in this house?" Causing Dwalin to freeze, waiting impatiently for the answer. Obviously, the lad misunderstood. "Yes! Me! Auntie calls me Mister Baggings sometimes. She says I'm the man of the house." He explained, puffing his chest in pride. "No, I mean, has Bella found a lover?" His brother corrected, smiling softly. "Nay. She said her heart only loved once. And that it was someone whole Arda away." Dwalin's heart started beating faster as hope filled him. Could it be him Bella fell in love with? He surely hoped so. "Well your Auntie always was a special hobbit." Thorin added. The kid shook his head firmly. "No Auntie's not a hobbit. She's an Auntie, the best in the world!" He piped up, certain of his words. "Now what is this me not a hobbit story about?" Bella's groggy voice inquired. "I'm just saying to them that you are not a hobbit but the greatest Auntie ever." Frodo explained. "No Frodo lad, they're right. I am a hobbit, but I also am yours and Sam's and Merry's and Pippin's great Auntie that gives you lots and lots of cookies… When a certain dwarf hasn't eaten them all." She smiled sweetly at his hand stuck in the cookie jar, and Dwalin stopped raiding it long enough to blush heavily. "Now off you go with them. I have business with our guests. Be at time for supper!" She yelled after him as he already sprinted out of the door. "Kids. I swear the four of them are turning me white." She commented fondly before turning to them, which made a few gulp. "Why did it take 4 years for you to come? I waited and waited, I had lost hope that you'll ever come. Why did it take so long?" She whispered, her pain resonating from every of her words. Fili stepped in front of them. "We thought you hated us and that it was why you left. We found the letter two weeks ago, and immediately departed. We were sure you despised us." He answered and tears started to well up in her green, emerald like, eyes. "Like hell I could ever hate you. You are my family. I love you all." She opened her arms and Ori, Kili and Fili threw themselves to hug her. They thought they had lost her.
She hugged every and each one of the company, except for Thorin and Dwalin. She approached the king, but he fell on his knees. "I am in your debt Bella Baggings, for my faults against you are unforgivable. I will give you all you need and wish for. You just have to ask, and I'll see it done." He told her. For a few seconds, she was thinking. "All I need huh?" At his nod, she smiled widely. "I need to know how you did to make Fili and Kili behave when you give them baths. Every time I try to bathe my nephews… Hell break loose." At first, Thorin was bewildered, then a warm smile graced his lips. "It's fairly simple. You just have to promise them a special treat if they are nice and put." He advised, and at her face, she seemed shocked she hadn't thought about it before. She gave him her hand and helped him get up. "Come here. I've missed you Thorin." And they hugged, both smiling. Then it was the bald dwarf's turn and he hugged her tightly, whispering in her ear and relishing the shiver he caused. "We have to talk. You and I." And so they did. In the evening, Dwalin got out of the smial, sitting on the bench and smoking his pipe. A few minutes later, she joined him and sat next to the warrior. "You wanted to talk Dwalin?" She asked, her voice wavering a little. "Yes lass. I had a lot of time to think during those years. Believe it or not, I was about to run to the Shire and beg for your forgiveness. I… You're my One, Bella. I deeply fell in love with you. But I understand if you want nothing to do with me." Dwalin confessed, not daring looking at her. Suddenly, small fingers caught his beard and turned his face so she could watch him in the eyes. "I love you too." Then she kissed him. Their kisses were expressing all they couldn't with words. Their love, their happiness, their sorrows, their relief… After a moment, she leaned into his thick furs and asked. "How are we going to do Dwalin? I can't leave my nephews, and you can't leave your newly retaken home." She whispered, sounding small and frightened. "I'll live here. With you and your nephews." He declared and she looked at him, bewildered. "But…Erebor?" He smiled softly down at her. "Lass, Erebor isn't home without you. I'll miss Balin, Thorin, the lads and the company. But I've missed you more. So much more. I just got you and I ain't letting you go." He continued and decided that the sacrifice was worth it, if she always looked at him this way. So lovingly that it made him want to cry in happiness. "A dwarf in the Shire. You'll be the talk of all Hobbiton for a while. A warrior dwarf living with Mad Baggings. I can't wait until you meet Lobelia Sackville- Baggings." She mused cheerfully. He laughed happily before kissing her once more, both smiling against each other's lips. Dwalin couldn't help but think he felt already more at home here than in Erebor, as Bella cuddled close to him.
The End