The Alexander Chronicles Year 4: The Return of Darkness

by the22nddoctor

Many things have changed in Alexander s life, his mother is in Azkaban and he have learned that he is the son of Sirius Black. This year Alex has to battle both his inner darkness that is growing stronger inside him, and the outside darkness that is returning stronger than ever, not even Hogwarts is safe. Beside that, he have to deal with being a teenager. Have been rewritten.

28. Chapter 28 Every action has a consequenc

The Alexander Chronicles Year 4: The Return of Darkness.

Chapter 28: Every action has a consequence

Alex was running as fast as he could, out of the dungeons, past all the students that were in the castle, and out to the school grounds. Once outside Alex looked around in panic. Where could he go? Making a decision, Alex ran as fast as he could towards the Forbidden Forrest. After all it was a place for monsters and thus a place for him. He could be alone there. He wanted be alone and he needed it. He couldn´t be trusted to be around people. He was too dangerous for that - to unstable. Alex still couldn't believe that he had done such a horrible thing. He had just used one of the Unforgivableles curses. The same curse that had been used on Neville's parents, and as Moody said, using a curse like that would mean a one-way ticket to Azkaban. The very thought of the wizard prison made the panic Alex felt increase. He needed to get away. Now he was destined to be a fugitive like his father.

Alex began to run faster towards the Forbidden Forest, he just needed to get away from what he had done. He ran faster and faster, ignoring that how much his lungs needed air. Not even when he reached the forest, he slowed down. Suddenly, Alex tripped on a root, slamming down on his stomach; he just laid there trying to catch his breath. Once he had gotten on his feet, Alex leaned on a tree trying to forget the sound of Silan´s screams. Just thinking of the sound made him nauseous. Alex opened his mouth to breath, but vomited instead. With cold sweat on his face Alex sat on a log and buried his face in his arms as he hyperventilated. He didn´t know it, but he as close to a panic attack. What he knew; was that he had tortured his cousin and he had liked it. When Silian had screamed, he had enjoyed so much and if Daphne hadn´t stopped him then - once again, Alex vomited, and then he just closed his eyes and just sat there.

"Oh come on it wasn´t that bad, was it?" A cold voice said. The voice sounded familiar. Alex looked up trying to find his wand and then he remembered that he had dropped when Silan had hit him with the sound curse. Alex frowned, but he had used Silan´s wand when he had casted the cruciatus curse, but where? He had dropped it when he had talked with Daphne. "Yeah alone and wandless so naïve."

"W-who are you?" Out of nowhere a person metalized, Alex´s eyes whined; it was him, well an older version with deathly pale skin and demonic yellow eyes - it was the form of his boggart. "No this can be! You can´t be real, this can´t be happening."

"Yes I am and yes it can! You took a good step towards becoming me." The evil version of Alex said. "I have to say you future on this path will be glorious."

"No no you lying!" Alex said falling from the log.

"No, then I would be lying to myself and we don´t do that." The evil Alex paused as he appeared to think about something, then he smiled. "Well we lie to our friends yes, but to ourselves no."

"What?"

The evil version of Alex laughed, "All you do is lie to those closest to you. Like the little story about stepfather Daniel for one thing. You never really told anyone what really happened, and the only reason Sirius know is because he saw - Don´t worry though, he won´t tell."

"I-"Alex paused knowing it was true; he did withheld the truth and no matter said to himself: it was lying. "You are just a hallucination or a boggart or something."

"Maybe, maybe not, but I am your future." The evil version of Alex said. "And our future will be glorious."

"No you are not! We are nothing alike." Alex whispered.

"Yes we are. You will see it soon enough, just see in about five to six years' time then you will have killed the o so great Harry Potter."

"No, I won´t Harry is my friend. I would never hurt him like that."

The evil Alex smiled. "Friend? No Harry has never been our friend. He if knew the truth then he would hate you. He would fear you. You don´t have friends not really, and you just doesn´t kill Potter! You kill everyone. Let me see you kill Harry of course, but then there is Ganger, Weasley of curse and then there is uh right: father, Davis, Jensen, Bones, Lovegood, Robinson well everyone really. We start the third wizard war, and trust me; we do much better then Voldemort - We win!"

"Shut up!"

"Just wait, being dark is in your blood. You actions this night just proves it. Just wait. I mean you started out with wanting to use the torture curse, and now you have. Soon you have your first kill- and it will be great. Just wait you will cover this world in darkness."

"No just shut up, JUST SHUT UP." Alex yelled grabbing a branch and swung it the evil version of himself, it passed though and he hit a tree instead. Alex fell and evil version of him laughed.

"So much fear so much hate - you will be evil. It is your destiny."

"Alex?." A voice sounded as the evil version of Alex disappear. As Alex stood up, he saw his father running towards him. "Merlin Alexander are you okay?"

"Stay away," Alex, yelled, as held his hands to prepare for a fight. "Just stay away from me!"

Sirius gave a worried look, "Alex, it will be okay." He said taking a step towards Alex, who backed away.

"I SAID; STAY AWAY!"

"No I won´t"

Alex looked around seeing if could run away, but before he knew it Sirius had his hand on his shoulder.

"I said stay away." Alex said backing away. "I can hurt you!" despite that he tried make his voice sound threatening, Sirius could hear the despair. "I hurt you! I-I m-mean i-it, I hurt you if you come any closer!"

"No you won´t, I know you Alex. You are a good person."

"NO," Alex roared. "I am not, you don´t even know me, not enough to say things like that."

"I just do, I do know who you are deep down, and I know you are a good boy."

"Why are you even here?" Alex sneered. "I thought you only cared about Harry, not me."

"You are one of the most important person to me, just like Harry. You are my son, but he is my godson. Now that his parents are gone, I have to look out for him, and you."

"Well you doing a great job you," Alex said sarcastically. "I mean it just great huh. You are on the run from the Ministry. How you are even supposed to do your father or godfather duties is beyond me."

Sirius sighed. "Alexander, let's talk about this later," He said, "You need to get back to the castle; I am not too fond of having you out here."

"Of course you'd say that," Alex sneered. "If it had been Harry, then you probably want to talk about it, work out the feels and all, right?"

"RIGHT?" Alex roared as Sirius didn´t answer.

"Alex," Sirius sighed.

"No, you don´t get it do you?" Alex screamed. "You don´t get anything. You just worry about Harry. But what about me? Huh? What about me? What is wrong with me? Why don´t you love me. You have no idea do you? You just hate me and don´t care! But I tell you! It is like everything is going down in a spiral," Alex continue to yell as he began to tear up. "Why am I so messed up? Why did I torture Silan? Why am I going dark, dad? Am I only fourteen and I am already a monster" Alex finished, and began crying.

Sirius watched his son in shock, feeling the regret that he hadn´t been there or was there for him. This had to be his punishment; to see his son carry such a burden instead of being carefree as he had been when he had been Alex´s age - Alex should had been worrying about girls and homework, nothing like this. Sirius moved forward to hug his son.

"Please s-stay away. I just hurt please," Alex, cried, however Sirius just hugged him.

"No you won´t, you are a good person, Alexander." Sirius said, as he continued to hug his son, even though tried to push him away and get out the hug.

"Didn´t you hear? I have j-just tortured Silan. I-I u-used t-the C-Cruciatus curse on h-him."

Sirius was a bit stunned, but continued to hug his son.

"Just trust me Alexander, just trust me." Alex gave up struggling, allowed his father hug him, and just cried. He hadn´t cried like that since his mother had been arrested, but now he had someone."Sch it okay, it will be okay."

"No y-you don´t u-understand. I am an m-monster."

"Alexander-"

"But I am," Alex pulling away from Sirius. "Who else does what I have done when they are fourteen."

"Look Alexander, just tell me what happened, I promise I help you."

And so Alex did, he told everything, what Silan had done. More importantly, what he had done to stop it, how he had used the Cruciatus curse.

"That not even the worst," Alex sniffed, his eyes were red from crying and Sirius watched him in concern. "I l-liked it dad, It felt so great to let all the anger out, to let it out on him. I mean I couldn't stop myself, and I d-don´t even k-know if I w-wanted to." Alex paused, "so what is wrong with me dad? I am really that messed up."

Sirius looked at Alex for a few moments before laying his hand on his shoulder. "You are not messed up. Sure, what you did was wrong, but you did it to protect someone else. He was attacking Daphne. Granted you might have gone a bit too far, but Silan is alive."

"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT HE HAVEN`T DIED?" Alex as he made a move to get up, but Sirius stopped him.

"The curse doesn´t do that Alexander!"

"But look what it did to Neville´s parents they are in a coma because of it." Alex snapped back, "if I have done the same oh Merlin. How can I look Neville in the eyes again."

"Alex stop, listen what happen to Frank and Alice was horrible, but the curse was used for hours - days."

"It is an Unforgivable curse dad, I can´t go back. I have broken the law."

Sirius signed, "For an adult yes, but unless you use the killing curse, they don´t send children to prison."

"I would deserve it though. Who know what I would have done. I could have killed - I-I-I" Alex were breathing heavily, "I wanted to hurt him so bad."

"Yes, but Daphne stopped you and if you truly had wanted to continue then Daphne wouldn't´ have been able to do anything. Look I knew it´s hard, but you are not evil Alexander. You are angry and made a mistake, but you were provoked and you stopped."

"It´s not excurse and I didn´t stop myself." Alex replied angrily. "Snape was there as well, he didn´t say anything though." Alex added after a small pause, "Not even when I ran away."

Sirius snorted, "He was properly hoping that another professor would come then he could properly have been expelled."

"No I don´t think, that was his plan." Alex said looking at the ground. "He could have stopped me if he wanted that."

"Maybe" Sirius said, "but listen Alexander, I know that life may seem like shit right now and you are pretty angry, but it will be better. Trust me at some point it will be less confusing." There was a silence were neither said anything, instead, they just enjoyed each other company, then Sirius looked at Alex with a big smile on his face.

"So Daphne Greengrass huh? Your mother told me about her, or rather she told me about the two of you."

"Yeah she is my best friend."

"Friend huh? Son from what your mother have said and from that goofy look on your face, I say she is a bit more to you. So do you fancy her?"

Alex gave a nervous laugh as he blushed madly. "N-no she is just a friend." He said looking away from Sirius.

"Just a friend? You look just like James did when he talked about Lily."

"Just stop!" Alex smiled, "she is a good friend, nothing more."

"Whatever you say, but if you need tips then I should say I was pretty popular with the girls back in the day. Your mother wasn´t the only girl I dated you know,"

Alex blushed and looked at the ground. "I am not like that, beside really not sure I want to know that."

Sirius laughed a bit, "okay, but still."

"I should go back right?" Alex said after a little while.

"I don´t know Alexander, I think you should -"Sirius began, but was interrupted as Fawkes, Dumbledore´s phoenix landed in front of him with a letter in its beak. Sirius took the letter and began reading it, before finally looking up at Alex. "It was from Dumbledore, he knows what have happened."

Alex gulped, "so I am done? He will expel me right?"

"No, he says he sort it out, but you will need to talk with him of course. He knows that you are here."

"Right, uh you can´t come right?" Alex asked, hoping that his father would say they could go together.

"No. It won´t just be with him." Sirius paused. "You should go. McGonagall and Hagrid will begin screeching the forest soon. It will properly be better if they don´t see me."

Alex nodded, "yeah but I- what if- I mean I broke the law dad-"

"It will be okay Alexander, Dumbledore will help you." Sirius said as he gave Alex a hug. "I promise that he has a way out."

Alex gave a worried smile, and begun walking. Sirius quickly transformed himself to a dog, and followed him out the forest. As they reached the edge of the forest, Sirius jumped up and laid his front paws on Alex´s shoulder before running away. Alex signed as he walked towards the castle, he briefly thought about running away. However, deep down he knew it wasn´t and option. He wouldn't like a life on the run. Beside Sirius had told him that he should trust Dumbledore and he should trust his father´s judgement shouldn't he. It didn´t really matter, he wouldn't want to leave Hogwarts. This way he would have a chance. Before he knew it, Alex was on the steps to the entrance hall, the door open and Professor McGonagall came out.

"Mr. Black."

"Hey professor." Alex said in low voice.

"You know that have been looking for you and why?"

Alex nodded, "yes I-I do ma´am."

Alex didn´t speak as McGonagall led him back to Dumbledore's office, only when they reached the stairs to the office he spoke up. "Professor how is Daphne? I-is she okay?"

"Under the circumstances she is doing fine, shocked yes, but you got to her in time Mr. Black, you saved from something horrible."

"Good and S-Silan?" Alex said as his eyes flickered. "Will he make it?"

"He will be fine."

"Good I never-" Alex paused as the tears ran down his cheeks.

"We have to go Alexander, everyone is waiting." McGonagall said as he gently pushed Alex up the stairs.

They entered the office, where Dumbledore, Snape and Karkaroff was waiting, Alex noticed McGonagall gave a sympatric look as she walked past him, Snape was emotionless and Karkaroff was angry and looked somewhat gleeful.

"Mr. Black, please take a seat," Dumbledore said from his desk, his eyes twinkling. Alex nodded and slowly took a seat in front of Dumbledore's desk, while all the adults stood. Alex briefly looked at Dumbledore, but looked away feeling very ashamed and not wanting to see the judgement, there must be on his face. "Alexander please look at me!" Dumbledore said in a stern voice, Alex looked up. "I trust that you know why that you are here?"

"Drop it Dumbledore," Karkaroff said banging his hand in the desk in front of Alex, making him flinch. "The boy surely know what he has done. The question is what you will do about the fact that my student has been attacked."

"Maybe the boy should answer Igor." McGonagall cut in.

Alex looked up at his head of house, before looking back at Dumbledore. "Y-yes s-sir, I know why."

"Good. So the duel between you and Silan Ambrosius-"

"Duel?" Karkaroff spat, "I should have known that you would be biased, it was an unproved attack on my student, which were without reason."

"Without reason?" Alex spat, "maybe you should ask Silan what he did-"

"Lies!" Karkaroff yelled, "according to my student he talked with Miss Greengrass and when she ended things with him, he was about to leave."

"Now listen here you-"

"No I will not let you tell lies about your cold blooded attack on my student. You little-"

"Enough," Dumbledore said, "Igor, let Mr. Black explain himself."

"Why Mr. Ambrosius has already told how Black simply attacked him with a lighting curse twice."

"He attacked me as well," Alex counted.

"Lies! And it doesn´t matter, you still attacked first. Do you deny that Mr. Black."

Alex´s eyes flicked, "No, but-"

"Ha he admits it, so headmaster I think a punishment is in order, one that I decide."

"Why did you do it Alexander?" Dumbledore asked.

"Silan would have- Daphne - look I had to save her. He was trying to force her."

"Why should we trust you boy?"

"Maybe because Miss Greengrass confirm that she needed saving:" McGonagall said, clearly angry.

Karkaroff snorted, "I think Miss Greengrass, isn´t objective here."

Alex clenched his fits in anger," so what are you saying that Daphne wanted - you saying-" Alex was interrupted, by someone laying a hand on his shoulder and held him in place. Alex´s head snapped up and was surprised to see that it wasn't McGonagall's hand that stopped him, it was Snape's. "If I may headmaster."

Dumbledore smiled a bit, "yes Severus you were a witness."

Snape nodded. "Yes, well, on the time of the duel," He started. "I was doing my usual rounds when I heard a young woman shouting, and though a surveillance charm, I saw that it was Mister Ambrosius and Miss Greengrass in a very physical argument. I was about to intervene and when young Mister Black appeared and cursed young Ambrosius –"

"Ah ha!" Igor blurted out. "See, Black did attack first –"

"Let me finish," Snape said coldly. "Your student were about to force himself on one of mine - so hold you your tongue."

"Please let Severus finish, Igor," Dumbledore said firmly. Igor nodded and shut his mouth. "Severus, you may continue."

"Yes, were I, now I was a bit way so if Mr. Black hadn´t acted it would have been too late. Luckily for Miss Greengrass he did. Now as I got to the scene Mr. Black and Ambrosius were in a duel. The fact that I didn´t stop it, is something I regret, but frankly Mr. Black was holding his own. Then Mr. Ambrosius nearly killed Mister Black with a Sonic/Sound Wave Curse, but it was Mr. Black who came out on top ending the duel with a –" Alex closed his eyes and held his breath, knowing that Snape´s words would doom him. Sirius had lied, but now he could be with Harry of course. "- punch."

What? "What?" Karkaroff shouted voicing Alex´s thoughts.

"Mr. Black ended the duel with a punch and admittedly a few curses, but nothing to serious. Especially when Mr. Ambrosius´ crime are considered."

"There was no way a mere fourteen year old boy could have knocked out a young man with one punch –"

"May I remind you that there is also no way for a mere 14 year old boy to be participating in a Tri-wizard Tournament," Snape said. "But that is how the duel ended. I witnessed it as I was there. You may ask Black and he will answer what I just have said."

"However, Mr Black´s words won´t be necessary Igor as a teacher Serverus told what happened. It seems to me that Mr. Black defended a friend and got carried away." Dumbledore said looking at Karkaroff with disgust. "Professor Snape´s testimony also matches that given by Miss Greengrass."

"We should question her again." Karkaroff tried, making Alex glare at him.

"She is resting at the Hospital Wing and I see no reason to question her again Igor."

Karkaroff growled knowing that he had lost, but then he smirked, "still Dumbledore your student attacked one of mine, even when he was down. That is unforgivable and I demand that Mr. Black is punished or else I will fill a complaint at the Ministry and alert the press of your favoritism."

Dumbledore gave a nod. "Indeed," he said, though it looked, as he didn't want to agree with Karkaroff. "Alexander, do you admit what Snape have said?"

Alex who was looking at his hands, now felt that every eye were on him, even the portraits on Dumbledore's wall. He looked up and said, "y-yes professor I do."

"I think he should be expelled nothing less."

"Duelling is against the school rules Igor, but it is up to Mr. Black´s head of house to decide his punishment." Dumbledore said.

Karkaroff glared at McGonagall, "I fail to see how that will be objective, maybe we should involve your Ministry."

"Maybe we should do that to your student as well," McGonagall snapped.

"I will punish my student as I see fit!" Karkaroff sneered.

"As will I."

Karkaroff growled before storming out of the office.

Once Karkaroff had slammed the door, Alex looked at his professor, waiting for his punishment. "Mr. Black what you did was stupid and I expected more from you." Pause. "Normally for attacking another student you would be suspended for the year. Now you may think you role the tri-wizard tournament would protect you, but I care little for that nonsenses." Alex gulped, but know that he deserved it. "You are not expelled or suspended. Instead your Hogssmede weekends are suspended for the rest of the school year, Gryffindor will lose 300 points, a month detention, and I want a two foot essay about what you did was wrong."

Alex whined, 300 points, he had just blown the chances of Gryffindor winning down, "I understand ma´am."

"Good, now Alexander. I would like you to stay." Dumbledore said. Alex nodded and waited until he was alone with the headmaster. "Now what you did was very foolish Alexander!"

"I know Sir, do you-"

"Yes Severus informed me. The curse you used, you know what it does - how dark it is -how many life it ruined."

"Why didn´t you say it when - I should have been punish more I-I," Alex paused and handed his wand to Dumbledore. "Just do it quickly."

"I will not!"

"I don´t deserve being here, leaning magic. I used the Cruciatus I did it, not Silan."

"Yes but you feel regret. The fact that you came, knowing what would happen tells me that your deserve a second chance." Dumbledore said softly.

"I can´t be forgiven, everyone says I am dark and they are right. I guess it in my blood to be a monster."

"Your actions, however wrong was motivated by love Alexander. That doesn´t make you dark."

"Still, I will never forgive myself, and I don´t deserve it."

"Yet you might find forgiveness."

Alex didn´t comment, knowing that Dumbledore was wrong. "Now, I know that miss Greengrass have asked for you, maybe you should go see her."

"She wants to see me?" Alex asked softly, making Dumbledore nod.

Alex nodded as well, "so can I go?"

Dumbledore nodded, "Yes, but for the record professor McGonagall doesn´t know about what curse you used otherwise her punishment would have been much more severe. However if you do it again, I will punish you much harder."

….

The Hospital Wing was almost empty; in fact, the only one what was in it was Daphne. Alex wondered where Silan were, but he was properly in the Durmstrang ship. Daphne was lying in bed. Alex paused not sure if should go over to her. "Alex?"

"Daphne?" Alex said walking over to her, "I am so sorry."

"Don´t be, it was Silan who did those things" Daphne looked very pale and her eyes were red from crying. "If it weren't for you then-"

"If it weren't for me then you wouldn´t had been in that situation at all."

"You don´t know that! You tried warning me though and I didn´t listen. I was so stupid." Daphne buried her face in her arms and begun crying. "I-I just ignored you I have b-been t-terrible friend."

"You are not," Alex said unsure of what he should do, then he made his decision and laid his hands on Daphne´s. "you really not. Silan just does that, he manipulates good people."

"You knew! You knew and told me. I ignored it, like a naïve stupid desperate girl."

"Please don´t say that, Daphne."

"But it´s true!" Daphne cried. "You told me about him. I should have listen to you, but I was so stupid that I listened to his lies."

"You are not Daphne. Look Silan had done things to me, terrible things and I distrusted the second I saw him. It was out of prejudice." He paused, "But I do know that he can manipulate, even me. There was this one time, were he acted all nice for days - it was great and then he made me bully a muggle boy named David Anderson. He could just push every button I had. Afterwards I was so ashamed and said I would never do it again. Then he was back at being a git."

Daphne looked up, "really?"

"Yeah. The point is that Silan made everyone think, he was that great guy. You not stupid Daph, your one of the smartest, amazing, cunning and beautiful," Alex blushed as he realized what he just have said. Daphne blushed as well and smiled.

"Well wh-what I mean i-is that you have nothing to be ashamed of."

"Have you talked with Dumbledore yet?" Daphne asked after a small pause. "Was you punished?"

"Yeah Karkaroff wanted me expelled." Alex said, "I properly would have deserved that, instead I lost 300 points, a month detention and no Hogsmeade for the rest of the school year."

"You should have gotten a medal."

Alex looked away, "I really don´t, I was out of line."

Daphne looked around, "yeah you were uh intense, s-scary even." So he had scarred Daphne great. He had scarred her, like that monster he was. Daphne seamed to realized what she just had said, "but I didn´t mean it like that." She was about to say more when Madam Pomphrey came in.

"Mr. Black, I am afraid that vising hours are over!"

"Okay, I can come see you tomorrow after breakfast?" Alex asked, hoping that Daphne would see him, she nodded and Alex smiled a bit. "S-so I see you then."

….

As Alex stepped in to the Gryffindor common room, all the talking stopped as everybody starred at him.

As Alex walked in everybody stepped out of his way, as they gave him weird looks. In fact, Harry was the only one that walked over to him. "Hey Alex," he begun as he gave him a worried look. "Are you okay?"

"Uh why uh," Alex looked around. "Yeah uh why?"

"Well, we heard from one the portraits that you duelled your cousin and it got uh well uh it got pretty bad."

"Uh you all heard?" Alex asked and watched Gryffindors like Ginny, Fred and George nod. "Uh well uh okay. Well uh-"

"Yeah the Fat Lady was talking with uh Violet I think, and uh Dennis and Colin heard, they talked and a few people asked the Fat Lady and well you know."

Alex nodded, "yeah uh I am pretty tried so-", Harry stepped aside and Alex walked up to the dormitory. On the way up, Alex could hear that everyone begun talking, that they talked about him and what he had done.

Not that he could sleep. The incident with Silan kept going through his mind. No matter what everyone said, he knew that he was a monster, and he was afraid. Afraid of what he had become and what he could become. Deep down Alex knew that he was dark and messed up, that he was broken and he felt so bad about it. The only thing he could do was to try fighting the darkness.

Alex laid with those thoughts, yet he had fallen asleep as Harry entered the dormitory, some hours later.

….

Chapter End