Jesse wasn't surprised when Beca received a callback within days of her audition. He was very thrilled that she got the part because it meant she wouldn't be relocating to Los Angeles. He was thrilled because he could see the positive change in her once she joined the cast. She was having a lot of fun with the role. She told him it didn't feel like a job. She got to sing and perform on stage with one of her closest friends.
Jesse would drop by rehearsals every now and then to say hi and see how everyone's doing. He'd usually stick around and watch them work for hours and not feel the time go by. However, having his sister around meant that he couldn't just sit quietly and see his work be brought to life by extremely talented people.
"What?" he asked feeling his Sarah's gaze on him.
"I'm having a strange deja vù," she told him. "You're looking at Beca the way you did that time we went to see her and her team at that dorky competition," she let him know. "It's weird."
"It's not weird. She's very talented," he said in response. "I love the spin she put on the role."
"Yeah, I'm sure that's why you're ogling."
"I'm not." He rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, you are." She shrugged. "It's okay if you're into her, you know?" She paused. "You're in an open relationship. It's not cheating."
"I'm not into her," he insisted.
It wasn't that he didn't find her attractive. He did. He wasn't going to deny that. However, they had a good thing going. They were really good friends and she was seeing someone. He knew it wasn't serious yet but he could tell that they were headed that way.
He wasn't into her. And, even if he was he couldn't make a move. She made it very clear that she wouldn't hook up with a friend again.
"Are you aware that your shower-head is dripping?" Jesse asked as he made his way to the kitchenette.
"Yeah. I'm gonna get it fixed," Beca answered him, pulling her phone away from her ear for a second before she resumed her phone call.
"Sorry," Jesse said in a lower voice for interrupting her call and walked to the stove to check on the pasta sauce was making.
He was proud of her cooking chops, which have improved significantly in the past couple of months. A lot had improved with her in the past couple of months and he really thought the career change she made was the main reason—well, that and therapy of, course.
"Who was it?" Jesse asked, leaning against the counter, when Beca hung up the phone.
"James," she informed with a sigh.
"What's wrong?" he wondered.
She shook her head, "He's a little clingy and it's a little annoying but it's not that big of a deal. I mean he doesn't have to call or text me ten times a day just to tell me he misses me but it's fine."
"You know what you find annoying would usually be considered romantic," he frowned. "He really likes you, Beca." It was beyond obvious that the guy was heads over heels for her from the very beginning and Jesse was pretty happy to hear that she decided to date him.
"He could chill." She ran her fingers through her hair, eyeing the dinner she was making. "I can't believe Amy and Benji bailed on dinner." She shook her head. "I'm making my nana's recipe for fucks sake."
It sucked that both Amy and Benji bailed but it was that big of a surprise that they both had something to do on a weekend. Benji had a date. Amy she didn't specify why she's bailing. He would have gone out bar hopping with Donald and maybe have enough drinks to take someone back to his place with him if Beca hadn't invited him for dinner.
He couldn't decline her invitation when she's very excited to be making them dinner. It was kind of adorable how proud she was of the one recipe that she could make to perfection.
"Hey, how open is your relationship?" Beca asked.
Her question took him by surprise because she rarely initiated a conversation about his love life.
"Pretty open," he answered.
He could hook up with anyone he wanted. His girlfriend sure did plenty of just that, which he was fine with.
Jesse oddly didn't feel as jealous as he expected but he figured it was due to the fact that Amber wasn't around a lot in New York and her endeavors took place mostly in Barden. He never asked about who she was seeing and neither did she. He knew she was happy and that all that mattered to him.
"Why? Miss this?" he joked, gesturing at himself.
She rolled her eyes in response.
"One of the cashiers at the grocery store asked if you're my boyfriend because you're with me a lot when I go there. Well, she asked why you didn't tag along and called you my boyfriend. Anyway, she's into you. She actually said and I quote, 'I'd tap that.' when I told her that we're not a thing. So, if you're interested you know where to find her."
"Which cashier was it?" he wondered.
"The brunette with the really awesome sleeve tattoo," she informed.
He nodded slowly as he thought about it.
"She's exactly your type and she doesn't want anything beyond a casual fling. Why are you thinking too hard about it?"
"Exactly my type? You know my type?" he questioned in surprise.
"Yeah. You like brunettes with tattoos," she casually said.
He didn't correct her because she was right. "I can't figure out your type."
"What do you mean?"
"You've dated very different people in terms of looks." He paused. "Do you even have a type?"
His question made her chuckle, "I do have a type, yeah."
"Well, what is it?" he was pretty curious.
"I figured out yours, I'm sure you can figure out mine." She patted his shoulder then walked past him to open the fridge.
"Okay, you're giving me the recipe later," Jesse said. "It's so good."
"It really is," she agreed. "And, yeah, I'll send it you. Just remind me."
He nodded. "I will." He grabbed his beer and only then realized that he had finished it. "I'm gonna go get another one," he let her know as he was getting up.
"I'll get it," she said, hearing the doorbell ring, and got up as well.
Jesse was opening the fridge when he heard Beca say, "Hey, what are you doing here?"
"I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by to see you," James said in response. "Is this a bad time?"
"No, we're just having dinner," she answered and Jesse could hear the slight annoyance in her voice. "I told you when you call just now," she added as if to remind him.
"Hey, man," Jesse smiled, meeting the other man's gaze when he joined them. "How's it going?"
"Where's everyone else?" James asked, ignoring Jesse and looking around the apartment. "Or is it just you two?" While her tone was annoyed, his changed from normal to pretty pissed off. "Did I interrupt your date?"
"Okay, you're being ridiculous," Beca deadpanned. "We're just eating dinner. Amy and Benji bailed—wait, why am I explaining myself?" She paused. "What the hell is your problem, dude?"
"My problem, dude, is that you're a cheating whore."
"Whoa there, man," Jesse jumped in. "We're just having dinner."
"Jesse," Beca called, tilting her head to look at him. "Stay out of this," she told him before looking back at James who was running a hand through his hair.
"I should have known." He shook his head. "You called his fucking name in bed for fucks sake! I should have known! I'm such a fucking moron," he exclaimed, raising his voice at her.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" she countered, keeping her voice low but stern. "You sure as hell aren't my boyfriend."
"Are you fucking serious right now?"
"Of course, I'm fucking serious. We're just dating. Well, were dating. 'Cause we're definitely done now, James," she told him. "Get out of my apartment."
Jesse couldn't see Beca's face because she had her back to him but he could tell from the tone of her voice and Jame's deflated expression that she was not only fuming but also dead serious.
With a clenched jaw, James reached for the doorknob and let himself out, slamming the door behind him.
"Asshole," Beca murmured under breath.
Jesse silently followed her to the table and sat down as she did. He took a sip of beer, his mind going over and over again what James mentioned. "You called my name in bed?" he couldn't help himself. He knew he should let her cool down but he had to know the details.
"It wasn't like that," she deadpanned, bringing a forkful of pasta to her mouth but not eating it. "We weren't having sex when I accidentally called him by your name," she sighed. "It was well after we were done. I was thinking about texting you to ask if you knew any good kinds of indoor low-maintenance plants 'cause I was thinking about getting one."
"When were you thinking about making that text, though?" he wanted to know.
She went quiet so he said, "It was while you were having sex, wasn't it?"
"Yes," she answered.
"Beca," he called, unsure if he was scolding her or if he was amused. "Was it so bad that you were thinking about indoor plants?"
"He's fine in bed." She shrugged. "It was just one of those times."
"Okay," he mumbled.
"Come on, you can't tell me that you've never thought about something trivial while you were going at it."
"No, I usually think about making sure my partner gets off and having fun doing so, weirdo," he told her.
"Yeah, me, too. Usually, my head is in the game but sometimes I wander off and end up thinking about what I'm gonna eat once we finish."
"Why do you talk about sex like it's a sport?" he questioned in amusement. "Wait, it kinda is. Never mind."
They ate in comfortable silence until Jesse broke it. "Hey, did you wander off when we'd hook up?"
"I don't think I did, no," she answered after giving it some thought.
He wasn't sure why he asked nor why the answer made him happy and he sure as hell wasn't going to think too hard about it.
Jesse didn't approach the cashier but he did notice the not-too-subtle look she gave him as soon as he and Beca entered the grocery shop. He didn't even know why he was having a hard time hooking up with anyone that wasn't his girlfriend.
"Hey, Beca," he called, trailing behind her as they walked in the produce aisle. "Do you wanna go out tonight?" he asked.
"Tonight?" she puzzled. "Isn't your girlfriend flying in later today?"
"She is," he confirmed, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "We just haven't been really talking that much and I don't want things to be awkward from the get-go."
"Right. And, how do you plan to avoid being alone with her during her stay? You certainly won't have me around to third-wheel the whole time."
"I'm not going to avoid her." He rolled his eyes. "I just don't want things to feel weird between us and I know that the lack of communication this whole time will make things super weird. However, if we go out with friends and grab a few drinks, we wouldn't act awkward around each other because booze fixes things that way." He held her gaze when she tilted her head to look at him. "Stop judging me."
"I will when you stop acting like a pussy. Either breakup with your girlfriend or tell her that you hate having an open relationship."
"I don't hate it," he denied.
"Is that why you haven't had a single date or hookup since you opened your relationship?" she rhetorically asked.
He exhaled through the nose then said, "Okay fine. I don't particularly like it. It feels like cheating. I can't bring myself to hit on anyone let alone sleep with them." He scratched his head.
"I don't know what to tell you, man." She shrugged. "Talk to your girlfriend. Keeping this to yourself won't do either one of you any good. I mean what the hell is your endgame? Is she gonna fool around for a while then you two go back to being monogamous?"
"We haven't really talked about that." He scratched his head. "We just agreed that we break up if one of us catches feelings for someone and wants to purse them." He could see her when she rolled her eyes, still judging him.
"Beca, not everything is black and white. I don't know how you do it. But I can't just end a relationship without trying to save it first."
It'd been a week since she ended things with James and she hadn't cracked. He profusely apologized for the way he acted and for what he accused her of. She accepted his apology but refused to get back together. She'd seen enough red flags and thankfully wasn't that invested.
Beca wasn't going to take anyone's shit and Jesse admired that about her.
"Hey, don't spin this around and try to make it about me. My thing with James is a couple of months old. You've been with Amber for almost four years."
"What about Pete?" he challenged and almost regretted it when he saw a frown form on her forehead.
"What about him?" she asked keeping the tone of her voice neutral.
"You ended it without second thought. That wasn't a two months relationship. You actually loved each other."
"There's no point in trying to save that relationship because it didn't even need any saving. We were fine we just had different plans and there was no room for compromise." She shrugged.
"Fair enough," he mumbled. "So, you think we should breakup?"
"I think you should have this conversation with Amber."
"Will you join us tonight, though?" he asked, giving her puppy dog eyes. "Please?"
She rolled her eyes then said, "Fine. But I won't stay for long."
"Thank you. Bring Amy if you want. The more the merrier, I'll pay for your drinks."
"Oh, Amy isn't in town."
"She down under for Christmas?"
Christmas wasn't for another couple of weeks but it wasn't out of the ordinary for Amy to take extended vacations. He didn't even know what she did for a living. Fat Amy's life was quite the mystery to Jesse. She could be a superhero for all he knew.
"She's in Barden getting her annual smoothie," Beca deadpanned.
"Her what now?" he puzzled.
"Remember that one time you spent the night at the Bellas' house?"
"Which night? You're gonna have to be specific it's been a long time."
"The night we hooked up for the first time after we started dating."
"Oh. I remember that night. You had the sling. Oddly wasn't that hard to work around."
"Anyway," she said. "Remember the next morning when we were in the kitchen having breakfast and Amy got home."
"She said she was out for a smoothie!" he exclaimed. "I remember, yeah. We agreed to follow her and see what that was about." They never did.
"I followed her with Stacie one night. She's having a fling with a security guard," she informed him. "They have a weird love-hate relationship."
"Have?"
"Yup. It's still going on. Amy doesn't want to even talk about him and acts like he doesn't exist but he's basically her boyfriend. She's never had a serious relationship with anyone because of him."
"But they only hang out once a year, right?"
"That I know of. He could be visiting her here." She shrugged. "All I know is that it's weird and that it's best to just not get into it with her because she will deny it." She sighed. "I bring it up when I want her to leave me alone."
"Huh." He went quiet as he thought about a specific thing she said as she filled him in. Amy never had a serious relationship with anyone because of her fling. That detail stuck with him because he found himself wondering if the amount of time that he'd been spending with Beca was keeping him from pursuing anyone. Because if he wasn't talking to her all the time, he'd probably get lonely and start to date.
Jesse spend the next few days thinking about what he came to realize while grocery shopping with Beca. He was in fact spending too much time with her. So, he made a conscious effort to text her less and hang out less with her.
He knew that the next time he was going to see her, she was going to notice that he was acting weird and call him out. And, he wasn't looking forward to having to explain to her why he was trying to sort of distance himself a little from her.
Jesse didn't like how he was feeling overall. He didn't like how he let himself get attached to Beca. He didn't like the direction his relationship with Amber had taken. And, he most certainly didn't like how avoidant he was becoming. It wasn't like him to avoid confrontation. He definitely had to do something about that.
"I'm gonna go get us drinks," Amber was saying as she handed Jesse her coat. "Beer?" she checked.
"Yeah, thanks," he smiled at her then went to put their coats in the closet as soon as she walked away. They were attending Donald's holiday party, which guestlist included everyone involved with the musical.
He and Amber arrived a little late so everyone was already either buzzed or drunk.
"Hey, dude," Donald greeted, making his way to Jesse. "Glad you made it," he beamed.
"Great party, man," Jesse said.
"Thanks." Donald took a sip from his drink. "We had a great season; we need to celebrate."
"That's true," Jesse agreed.
They had a truly amazing season off-Broadway and things were only going to get more amazing once they got on Broadway come February.
"Amber, hi," Donald said as Amber approached them with a couple of beers in hand. "You're still in town."
"Yeah, I'm still here. Can't let Jesse have all the fun," she jokingly said, handing Jesse a beer and winking at him.
He chuckled at the double meaning of her words.
"I like that you rented a karaoke machine for the party," Amber then told Donald, gesturing vaguely at the room where a karaoke machine was set up. "Your neighbors are getting a free concert from musical theater actors."
"Oh, I didn't rent it. It's mine."
"Great investment," she noted.
"Thanks," he grinned. "You big fan of karaoke?"
"Only when I'm drunk," she replied as she was bringing her beer to her lips.
As the two talked, Jesse scanned the room for Beca. He couldn't see her anywhere so he figured she in one of the rooms. Either that or she didn't come. Then he heard her voice and couldn't help but smile a little. She was singing Summer Nights. "Excuse me," he said to Amber and Donald and followed Beca's voice.
Standing in the doorway, Jesse watched Benji Sing Travolta's lines slightly off-key, which was excusable given how intoxicated he was.
It was quite surreal that the two drunk dorks in front of him were the leads in a musical that he wrote and composed.
Benji noticed him first, "Hey, Jesse," he greeted as Beca sang, giving him a break.
"Hey, man," Jesse said in response. "Love the antlers," he smiled, eyeing the reindeer antlers' headband Benji was wearing.
"Thanks," Benji beamed then resumed singing.
While Beca didn't have any holiday accessories, her wardrobe choices brought a grin to Jesse's face. She was wearing the sweater he once got her; the Christmas themed Darth Vader sweater.
"Can't believe you still have this," Jesse said, eyeing the sweater, as Beca placed the mic down when they finished the song.
"It's a comfortable sweater," Beca replied, tucking her hair behind her ear. "And, it's appropriate for the occasion." She began making her way out of the room.
"It sure is," he agreed, glancing at Benji who was picking another song, before he followed Beca.
She went straight to the refreshment table and grabbed a beer.
"When did you get here?" she asked, bringing the beer to her lips.
"Just now," he answered. "Amber's headed to her sister's place tomorrow like she always does. We haven't spent Christmas together in years so we figured this is close enough." He shrugged.
"Why can't you go with her to Ohio?" Beca wondered.
"Chloe will take it personally if I miss her party. She and Adam are announcing they're having a baby over Christmas and I can't miss it. Adam told me she's been having mood swings and is prone to crying over everything, which is why everything has to go exactly the way she wants."
"Have you started practicing your surprised face? You know Chloe will be able to tell that you're faking your surprise."
"I can fake surprise," he confidently said. "I'm a good actor."
"If you're such a good actor why didn't you cast yourself in your own musical?" she found herself wondering.
"Well, first of all, I can't cast myself. There's a whole casting process that you've been through yourself. Second, there's no role I could play really."
"You could've auditioned for the dad's role," she told him.
"Ew, gross, no," he grimaced.
"Why is that gross?" she frowned.
"Well, I'd be playing your father, which is weird," he explained. "You're ten years younger than me."
Beca rolled her eyes in response, "Dude, who the fuck cares? Women play young boys all the time in stage musicals. Grown adults play teenagers. You could pass for a dad." She shrugged. "I don't see how this is gross, though."
"Well," he began to say but never finished his phrase. Why was it gross? His immediate reaction confused him a little and he decided to brush it off. "It's not gross per se," he said instead. "It just makes me feel old."
"You're in your thirties, you're not old. If anything, these are your best years."
"Best years? Aren't those one's twenties?"
"No," she disagreed. "Twenties are for fucking up and figuring shit out. It's the trial and error phase. By the time you hit the big three-o, you become your own Yoda."
"Love the reference," he first said to which she rolled her eyes. "But I don't know if I agree. I mean I did have an existential crisis right before I turned thirty and you were there for the ride."
"You're a late bloomer, I guess." She paused. "You wasted your twenties working a job you hated and in a doomed relationship," she then said. "But you figured your shit out pretty fast after your meltdown," she pointed out.
It didn't take Jesse too long before he noticed the parallels: If Beca put her relationship with Pete over her career aspirations and never explored other career paths when she felt unsatisfied with her job, she could have had wasted her twenties like he did.
"Oh my god, you've seen the consequences my choices and you've avoided ending up like me, I am your Yoda!" he exclaimed.
"I mean I wouldn't say Yoda—"
"—shut up and let me have this one," he interrupted.
"What is going on?" Jesse asked Donald who was in the process of pushing furniture away.
"I'm making room 'cause Amber is teaching me how to do the cartwheel," Donald informed.
"Cartwheel," Jesse mumbled to himself, wondering how many drinks his friend had consumed before he tilted his head to look at his girlfriend who was stretching. "Cartwheel?"
"Yeah," she nodded, pulling her hair up in a ponytail. "Can you believe he's never done a Cartwheel in his life?" she wondered, slurring as she spoke.
"Uh-huh." Jesse scratched his head. "I need to find a bucket for when they throw up," he mumbled, addressing Beca, who was also quite intoxicated but not on the same level as Amber and Donald. Jesse was buzzed, too. Seeing Amber drunk made him decide to cut himself off. One of them had to stay coherent.
"Or a paper bag," Beca suggested. "I'll go check in the kitchen. You take the bathroom."
"Okay," he said in response.
"Find any?" Jesse asked, standing in the kitchen's doorway.
"Nope," she answered, closing a drawer and opening another one.
"They can puke into a plant pot. I've seen a few indoor plants," Jesse informed.
"Those poor plants."
"It's better than having a floor smell like vomit for the rest of the night." He shrugged. "Come on," he nodded for her to get out of the kitchen.
As they walked, Jesse spotted a vase on the dresser inside Donald's bedroom and stopped by the door. "There a vase in there," Jesse shared with Beca.
"Wait, don't go in there," Beca said, placing a hand on his forearm to stop him from walking.
"Why?" he frowned.
"Because it's his bedroom. It's a total invasion of privacy to go in there."
"We've been walking around his house looking for something he and Amber could puke into to save him from having to clean afterwards. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. Besides, he left the door open. If he didn't want anyone in here he would have locked the door," he argued.
"Fine," Beca mumbled, dropping her hand. "but I'm not going in there."
"Fine, you morally-superior-being," he deadpanned, rolling his eyes.
Once He grabbed the vase, Jesse realized that it wasn't actually a vase and placed it back. "It's not a vase," he told Beca. "There are ashes in it," he was saying as he stood in front of the dresser. "His dog's aches, I think," Jesse noted, picking up a framed picture of Donald and his late dog.
"Get out of there, Jesse," Beca called.
He placed the framed picture down and turned on his heels. "Beca, relax. This is barely an invasion of privacy." He smiled looking at what was hanging up the door frame.
"Oh, Donald is smooth," Jesse mumbled.
"Huh?"
"Wanna know why he left the door open?" he asked. He then nodded at what he was looking at and waited for her peek her head into the room in order to see it herself.
"Is that a mistletoe?" she said in confusion.
"Yeah," he nodded. "He could bring someone here and once they're standing right under the mistletoe, like we are right now, he'd point out that they're and that they have to kiss," he told her. "Very smooth."
"Very elaborate," Beca mumbled straightening up. "He could just go for a kiss. He doesn't need to make it an obligation because of some stupid tradition."
"Kissing under the mistletoe isn't stupid. It's a symbol of romance," he disagreed. "Besides, it's bad luck if you refuse to do it," he grimaced.
"That's as true and real as Santa," she deadpanned.
"Okay, I don't need your lack of faith right now so if you could dial it back until after the holidays, that be great."
"Jesse, you're Jewish," she said as if to remind him.
"Yes. And, I believe in the spirit of Christmas and upholding Christmas traditions. Silly ones included." He nodded at the mistletoe.
She rolled her eyes at him before the true meaning of his words hit her, "Wait, you want us to kiss?" she deadpanned.
"I don't want bad luck." He shrugged. "Do you want bad luck, Beca?"
"I don't want to spend the next year getting the blame whenever life throws you a curve ball," she mumbled then leaned up and kissed him.
Jesse was just messing with her and didn't really expect her to agree.
He most certainly didn't expect her to linger for a second too long.
"There's your kiss. No bad luck for you." She patted his chest, pulling away.
He placed a hand on her arm and kept her in his personal space, confusing the two of them when he went for another kiss.
Except, it wasn't like the peck she gave him just so he would shut up about bad luck.
He could tell that she didn't expect it because she froze for a second but much to his surprise kissed him back.
He was out of breath when he pulled away. He couldn't really read her expression because it was blank—he was also mildly turned on and wasn't thinking straight.
"You're really worried about getting bad luck," Beca halfheartedly joked.
He could play along and make it about bad luck so that they wouldn't have to think about what he just initiated and that she very clearly didn't mind.
"You said I should just go for it if I really wanted to," he said instead. "and, I really wanted to."
He knew at very moment that he was risking their friendship and was probably going to regret what he said the next day when he's fully sober. But, he didn't want to be dishonest. He had been avoiding confrontations for a while and it wasn't like him. He couldn't lie to his best friend, who he was very attracted to at the moment.
Jesse pushed the door shut when she leaned in for a kiss after holding his gaze for a few seconds, processing what he had just admitted. He made sure to lock the door before he started walking backwards as they made out until he hit the bed frame. He then swiftly picked her up and laid her down on the bed before he climbed on top her.
When they kissed at the door, he couldn't think straight. Now as they fully made out in bed, he couldn't think at all. His brain had one focus and it was Beca.
"Wait, wait, wait," Beca breathlessly said, pulling away as he was unzipping her jeans. "What the hell are we doing?" She sat up and used the sleeve of her sweater to wipe her lips. "I can't do this," she said, shaking her head. "I can't sleep with you, Jesse."
He nodded his head, "I know." He flopped on the bed next to her. "I'm sorry," Jesse apologized.
He knew how she felt about sleeping with friends. And, he wasn't just friend. They were best friends.
"Is this why you've barely talked to me this past week?" she quietly asked.
He rubbed his face then said, "No. It wasn't because I wanted to sleep with you. It's because I've been spending a lot of time with you, which I think is the reason why I haven't been dating," he truthfully said. "I'm blaming booze for what just happened."
"You're barely drunk Jesse. Own what just happened," she called out in annoyance.
"I didn't even think you'd even kiss me in the first place. I was just messing with you," he replied.
They both went quiet for a few seconds, each lost in their own thoughts.
"We should probably stop hanging out," Beca noted.
"Are you breaking up with me?" he joked.
"Jesse, I'm serious." She blew a breath. "We both know that this won't work. I'm not spending another year trying to get you out of my head. So, yeah, I'm breaking up with you because we clearly can't be friends."
He was going to always find her attractive and the same went for her.
"Okay," he mumbled, sobering up at last. He then watched her as she climbed out of bed and left the room.
By the time Jesse left the bedroom, Beca had gone home.
He really messed up and he didn't know how he was going to fix things between them. One thing for sure, though, he wasn't going to try anything soon. He had to sleep on it first then think things through. Jesse didn't want to lose Beca again. They just had to figure out how to stick to being friends and not cross any boundaries.
Amber was laying on a couch that Donald had pushed out of the way for their cartwheeling. The couch was facing the wall and Jesse wouldn't have recognized her if it weren't for her hard-to-miss neon orange socks with a sunflower right on the ankle area.
"You alright?" he asked her, seeing that she was awake.
"Yeah," she replied and sat up. "I just needed to lay down a little. Cartwheeling made the room spin around."
"You think you're gonna get sick?" he was wondering as he sat down next to her.
She leaned against his shoulder. "I'm okay." Amber reached for his hand and held it. "What happened?" she asked, breaking the silence they got in.
"What do you mean?" he countered, tilting his head to look at her when she looked up.
"You're grumpy so something must've happened," she said, holding his gaze. "It's Beca, isn't it?" she guessed.
He didn't say anything but his face must've given it away.
"What did you do?" she sighed.
"I kissed her and things started to escalate. She stopped us before we went too far and basically ended our friendship, again."
"I'm sorry to hear that," Amber mumbled, sympathizing with him, then sat up when he leaned against the couch. "Do you have feelings for her?" she then questioned.
He took a moment to think about it then said, "No, I don't think so."
"That's not a no that's a maybe," she told him.
"You want it to be a yes, though," he said.
She leaned against the couch as well and ran her fingers through her hair.
"I'm a big boy, I can take it." He patted her thigh. "Who is it?" he asked next.
He was going off on a suspicion but he was fairly sure that Amber had fallen out of love with him and was starting to develop feelings for someone else. She was as avoidant of any serious conversation as he was throughout her stay. He actually believed that the reason they went to Donald's party was to get enough liquor courage to break up with him.
"The reason I questioned my sexuality in the first place," she began to say.
"The hot new chef?" he guessed.
"You knew?" She frowned, not hiding her surprise.
"Your crush on her is adorable," he smiled at her.
His smile was replaced with a frown when he heard a sniffle.
"I'm sorry, Jesse," she said while fixating on the floor. "I knew what was going to happen once we opened our relationship and I hooked up with her." She wiped her cheeks with her sleeves. "Deep down, I knew it wasn't just a crush. I knew that it wasn't just physical attraction. I just wasn't ready to lose you. I know it's selfish and I'm so sorry."
"Don't be sorry," he mumbled, throwing an arm around her shoulder and pulling her to him. "These things happen. I mean, I won't deny that it hurts but I'll get over it."
"I love you," she mumbled against his chest.
"I love you, too," he said back, placing a peck on her head. "You know how some folks have breakup sex," Jesse mumbled after a few moments of silence. "I think we should take it up a notch and sing a breakup duet," he told her and smiled, hearing her chuckle. "Pioneer breakup karaoke. Make it a thing."
"That sounds like fun but I'm gonna pass," she was saying as she sat up. "I'm gonna get stick," she let him know and got up, rushing to the nearest bathroom.