A continuation of "The Human's Secret Admirer" in Amity's POV

Well, you're a damn idiot. I kept telling myself throughout the entire day. And night. And week. Basically you could say I've been beating myself up over the incident ever since it happened. God, how could I have been so stupid to admit my secret to Willow?! Why her of all people?! Well, I guess it could've been worse. I could've accidentally told Luz, but since Willow is like her new best friend or whatever, I might as well have told her. I just kept hoping and praying that the threat would keep Willow's mouth shut.

If I told her, who knows who else I might blab my secret to? No, I couldn't let that happen. I have a reputation to uphold. If word got out that I liked the human, the outsider, the girl, the one I was rude to...ugh, I don't even want to imagine the hell I'd go through. No one at school would ever talk to me again. My parents might even disown me for all I knew. And then where would I be? No entering the Emperor's Coven, no graduating school, bringing shame to my family name...

All because of this human who stumbled into my life and screwed things up for me. First, she snuck into school to help Willow cheat on the Abomination assignment. Then she cheated in the witches duel and embarrassed me in front of the Emperor's Coven. Then she hung out with my siblings and caused chaos in the library, not to mention she read my diary! Why do I even like her after all of that?! She made my life a mess!

Well, to be fair, she never actually intended to hurt me. She was trying to help Willow, which made sense 'cause that poor girl was a mess. And she was trying to stand up for her friend, she didn't really mean to cheat at the duel. And technically I cheated too, I just didn't know about it. And the whole library thing was an accident. I later learned that it was Edric and Emira's idea to put up my diary pages, but Luz tried to stop them. I was confused as to why she did, though, since if someone had been so mean to me the way I'd been mean to her, I definitely would've gotten that kind of revenge.

But Luz was different. When she makes mistakes, she tries to undo them. She doesn't hurt people when they hurt her, she only defends herself and her friends when she has to. She doesn't unnecessarily hurt anyone. She's not a bully, or a poser, maybe a bit of a nerd, but that's okay. I have to admit, I have my nerdy moments as well, being the top student and all.

Not to mention she's kind of sweet. She lent me her Azura book to help make up for reading my diary. It makes sense that she'd been into the Azura books as well. She's got that sense for adventure and a free-spirit. She's also kind and funny and dorky. Her smile is really pretty. On the rare occasion we get close enough, I can see how her eyes twinkle, and I can smell the lemony conditioner she uses.

But god, do I hate myself for seeing her that way.

There was no doubt I was falling for her, but I shouldn't have been. She's a human, I can't be with a human. She's a girl, I can't be with a girl. Not to mention, I don't even deserve her friendship, let alone any romantic feelings or affections.

I just wished that she'd leave me alone, because every time I saw her, I'd feel my heart beating faster and my face getting warmer. For a while, I thought I was ill. But then I came to the conclusion that it was a crush.

I really wish I could control my feelings, then I wouldn't have to constantly beat myself up over this and worry if Willow would tell Luz. Then I wouldn't have to worry about anything, for that matter.

I laid on my bed with my head hanging over the edge, staring off in thought. I tried to get the human out of my mind the best I could, but everything I thought of just reverted my mindset back to her. I was staring at nothing for so long that I hadn't even noticed my sister standing in the doorway. The sound of her clearing her throat nearly scared me.

I sat up instantly and gave her a scowl, "Emira! Do you mind?!"

She snickered at me and shrugged, "Nope. Just thought you should know that dinner's ready."

I sighed and turned away, "I'm not hungry."

I hoped that would get her to go away, but I should've known better. I never skipped a meal, unless I was at a friend's house or I was at an after-school club. Emira tilted her head, seeming genuinely curious as to why I said that. "What's wrong?"

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "I'm not telling you. You'd just laugh at me." I murmured, pulling my knees up to my chest. Honestly, Emira was the last person I wanted to talk to about this (well, next to Edric). But I knew denying anything was wrong wouldn't push her away, it would just drag her towards me.

She nodded, "Yeah, I probably will." She said while I rolled my eyes again. "But that doesn't mean I won't help you. Come on, just tell me what's going on." She said as she walked over to me.

I looked at her suspiciously. Why in the world would she help me? All she and Ed ever did was make my life a nightmare. Why would she have a change of heart all of the sudden?

"Let me guess, you're gonna tell the whole school what I tell you so everyone can I know I have a weak spot?" I raised a brow, scooting away from her as she sat on the edge of my bed, "Well, nice try, but I'm not falling for it. Go find someone else to pick on, I'm tired of it."

Em looked at me as if I was crazy, but then her expression softened, almost as if she was...frowning. Huh, she never showed concern like that.

"Look, Mit-" I scowled her before she could even say that annoying nickname. She realized her mistake and continued, "Amity, I know Ed and I like to tease you, but that's just older sibling things. You know I'd never do anything to hurt you."

"You were going to put my diary on display for everyone to see." I growled.

"Yes, well, you were being kind of a jerk." She shrugged. Even though she wasn't wrong, I didn't want to admit to that. I huffed and turned away from her, pulling my hood over my head. "Look, if you don't want to tell me, fine. But don't expect yourself to just bottle this up forever, 'cause that's only gonna make it worse. And if you can't tell me, your sister, then who can you talk to?"

I eyed her up and down, examining her facial expression. To my surprise and astonishment, not a single trace of humor or mockery was found. She was actually being sincere with me. She really wanted to know what was wrong. For a second, I was sure this wasn't actually my sister and that it was some sort of illusion. I lightly pinched her just to make sure it was real, to which she winced and pulled away. Yep, it was her.

"Okay fine, but if I tell you, you absolutely cannot tell another living soul." I said in a dead-serious tone, "Or a dead one. You can't tell Edric, Mom and Dad, you just can't tell anyone, okay?"

Emira nodded and drew a circle, then grabbed my hand and held it in the middle. "I swear, this stays between us." She promised.

I was relieved that she made an oath, now I knew she was serious and that she'd keep this a secret. Once she let go of my hand, I sighed and stared at the floor. "Okay...here it goes," I took a deep breath, feeling the shame and embarrassment wash over, "I..I like Luz. Not just as a friend but..as something more. And I know I shouldn't because, well, many reasons."

I didn't dare look at Emira's face, I couldn't bare the thought of her staring at me with disgust and disappointment. I just kept my eyes on the floor, now wishing I hadn't said anything at all. "I've tried denying it, but there's no point. I like her."

There was a brief moment of silence, but to me it felt like forever. I could only imagine how Emira was feeling about this. I expected a long, condescending lecture about how I'm too young to know my feelings, or about how being gay was wrong, or even a slap in the face for even saying such a thing.

But then, I heard her laugh. I finally looked up at her, surprised and beyond confused. Why would she laugh? This wasn't funny or amusing. But then again, this was Emira I was talking to. She laughed at everything.

She then looked at me, wiping a tear from her eye. "Seriously? That's your dilemma?" She questioned, "Oh Amity, that's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"It's not...?" I tilted my head.

"Not at all!" She shook her head, "Look, if you really like this girl, you should go for it! She seems nice and she obviously cares about you. If she didn't, she wouldn't have tried to stop us from reading your diary, or lent you that fantasy book."

I pulled my hood down and glanced to the side, knowing she had a point. "But what if she doesn't like me back? What if she's straight and gets totally weirded out by me?" I asked nervously. Geez, it felt weird to actually say these things out loud. I didn't even think I could get anxious about this.

Emira scoffed, "She's not straight, sis. Trust me."

"How would you know?" I asked.

"I have a sixth sense for these kinds of things." She shrugged, flipping her hair back. "My guess is that she's gay or bi-curious. But that's besides the point. She has a right to know how you truly feel, especially after the way you treated her."

I frowned and scrunched my shoulders. She had a really good point there. "But what if it gets out? I don't think I'm ready for everyone to know yet."

"Then don't tell anyone but her." She suggested, "I'm sure she'll understand that you want to keep it low-key."

I sighed and nodded. My eyes took notice to the fifth Azura book I left on my nightstand, and my thoughts went immediately to Luz. How was I even going to tell her? What was I going to do if she reacted negatively? How could I even handle rejection like that? Our relationship was already awkward enough as it is, and telling her might make it worse.

I guess Emira noticed I was getting lost in thought, as she put her hand on my shoulder to make me look at her. "Hey, don't think too much on this, that'll just make it worse. Alright? Don't think, just..go for it!" She said encouragingly.

I nodded again, this time more certain of her advice.

—

My eyes were focused on only one person in the entire hall. I couldn't get over the fact that she was actually in my school now. The uniform really suited her, and that bright, enthusiastic smile made my heart melt. I was more open to admiring her from a distance now, just as long as no one caught me doing it.

I wondered how I should welcome her, since she was a new kid, and being the top student, it was technically my job to welcome newcomers to the school. This way, I'd have an excuse to talk to her.

Of course, at the moment, she was occupied talking to Willow and that Augustus kid, so I wasn't going to go talk to her yet. Not with them around. At least this gave me time to think about what I was gonna do and/or say to her. A "hi, welcome to Hexside" was too formal. A "yeah hi welcome to school or whatever" was too rude and casual. Ugh, this was so confusing!

But then I remembered my sister's words. Don't think, just..go for it!

I can't believe I'm saying this, but she was right. I was thinking too much. Maybe that was why everything was so awkward between me and Luz. Maybe I just needed to give us a little push. After all, one of us had to do it, so it might as well have been me.

The second Willow and Augustus left, I saw my chance. Luz began to walk towards her class, so I put my books in my locker, fixed my hair, took a breath and walked over in her direction.

She seemed to notice me almost immediately, which didn't help my nerves at all. But I ignored any fears or doubts I had. Though, I glanced around to make sure no one else was around, just in case.

She stopped in her tracks and gave an awkward, adorable smile to me. "Oh, hey Amity! I guess you heard I'm going to school now?" She said, "Don't worry, I won't bother you if you—"

I quickly cut her off by grabbing her shoulders and shoving her against the wall. Before she could even react, I practically forced our lips together, sending shivers down my spine. I didn't linger too long, though, but long enough for her to respond by kissing me back.

I then pulled away and released her from my grasp. I saw her awed, shy smile, which made me smile as well. I could barely believe what I had just done, but what was more surprising to me was that she actually kissed me back, and that she seemed happy about it!

"Welcome to Hexside, human." I winked before I walked off, blushing uncontrollably.

Yeah I wrote this a while back so if it seems out of place now I'm sorry, I just wanted to share some more Lumity