A/N: Takes place during 2x14, Rush, in which Chloe and Pete get taken over by a parasite that makes them wild and impulsive (and they end up putting red K in Clark's pocket). Using direct quotes; I do not own. Mild swearing in this one.

Chapter 29 - Gaslighting

Lex wasn't looking forward to telling Clark that Walden didn't want anyone to be in the caves.

Clark had been downright weird about the caves ever since he'd found them. He insisted that he was just interested because of his term paper, but Lex has never seen Clark so obsessed with a school assigment. Lex suspected there was more to it than that. Either way, he was happy to let Clark into the caves whenever he wanted, until Walden insisted no one else be allowed inside.

Clark might have known more about those cave paintings than he was letting on, but Lex still needed Walden. So he drove over to the farm to let Clark know that Walden wouldn't budge.

Pete and Chloe were with him in the barn. From the moment Lex entered, they didn't seem like themselves. Clark was actually carrying Chloe in his arms.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Lex said.

Clark glared at Lex. "You are." He set Chloe down.

Lex asked to speak to Clark alone, and Pete and Chloe left the barn, leering at him. Lex knew Pete didn't like him, but he and Chloe had always been on good terms. He wasn't sure where any of this was coming from.

On her way out, Chloe took a crack at his baldness. And Clark laughed.

It was a cheap joke. Not even particularly clever. But it hit Lex off guard, and it hit him hard.

"You could kill her, you know."

Lex's jaw pulsed. It had been awhile since the voice inside had been so direct with him.

"Could make it look like an accident. No one would know."

Still making ridiculous suggestions. Chloe hadn't said anything Lex hadn't heard a million times before. She was just a teenager.

"You weak, pathetic little man. You let people speak to you that way, how do you expect to be respected?"

With effort, Lex ignored the voice and turned to Clark. "What's going on, Clark? If I didn't know better, I'd say you guys were on something."

Clark put an arm around Lex. "We're just having a good time. Not that it's any of your business. You ever hear of a phone? I'm sick of you just barging in like you own the place. It's really—"

"I came here to tell you, Clark." Lex shrugged away from Clark's arm. "I talked to Walden. He won't budge."

"He won't budge, or you don't want me in the cave? Come on, don't lie to me. You're Lex Luthor. You pay a guy to do a job, he does what you tell him. Isn't that the way it always works?"

Lex told himself Clark was just being a moody teenager, throwing a tantrum because he didn't get what he wanted. It helped with the anger, but it didn't help with the pain. "Clark . . ."

"I'm gonna go into those caves whenever I damn well please. I dare you to stop me."

Stinging and exasperated, Lex forced his voice to remain gentle: "Is this really about a term paper?"

Clark smiled. Somehow, it reminded Lex of his father's smiles.

Then he said, "You'd love to know, wouldn't you?"

It was like a dagger to the heart. Clark did know something he wasn't letting on. All the times Clark had said he didn't know anything, that he was just as curious as Lex was—all lies. Lex had always suspected, but now Clark had admitted it.

"I'm gonna go," Clark said "So are you."

Clark shoved Lex hard enough that he stumbled several feet, stopping just short of a support beam.

"I like to see you standing up for yourself, Clark. I really do. Be careful not to cross the line." It was a useless comment—the line had already been far more than crossed.

Clark turned back to face him. "Is that a threat?"

Something about Clark's voice truly intimidated him. Lex only just managed to hide it. "I'm just giving you a friendly piece of advice."

"Let me give you some back. If you know what's good for you, stay the hell away from me."

Lex stood in the barn staring after Clark for a long time, heart hammering. He almost went into the house to find out if Mrs. Kent knew anything about what Clark was talking about, but he was afraid of the answer. If she didn't know, then Clark was keeping secrets from his parents, too, and Lex would be creating a division in their family. But based on Mr. Kent's reactions when Lex brought up the caves, he suspected they knew whatever Clark did. Lex didn't think he could stand to hear Mrs. Kent lying to him, especially not right after Lex inevitably took comfort in one of her hugs.

So he went to the Talon instead. He checked his watch—Lana was usually at the counter at this time, but today it was one of the other baristas instead.

Lex had really been hoping to see her. She was simple and naive about a lot of things, but there was something honest and pure about her, and it was refreshing. "I was looking for Lana," he told the barista.

"In the back. But you might not want to go in there."

"Why, is she changing?" He couldn't imagine her needing to change clothes in the middle of the workday.

The barista mouthed, "Crying."

He hurried to the back room.

Lana was huddled in a corner faced away from the door, her shoulders shaking. "Leave me alone."

"I can, if you want me to, but I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

She whirled around when she heard his voice. "Lex, I'm sorry."

She looked terrible. Red-rimmed eyes, tears coating her face, mascara running down her cheeks. Lex reached for a tissue from the box that sat on a side table, and he started gently wiping away her tears. "What happened?"

Lana breathed in to speak, but burst into tears once again.

"Okay, it's okay." He dropped the tissue into a trash bin and opened his arms, and she collapsed into them. Her tears immediately soaked through his shirt at the shoulder, but he just held her tighter, pressing one hand into her back and using the other to hold her head. When her sobs had slowed down, he asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head.

"That's okay." He began to gently stroke her hair, trying to imitate the motion Mrs. Kent used. Something occurred to him. "Lana, was Clark here?"

She pulled back. "Don't talk to me about Clark."

"Ah, I see." He picked up the tissue box and held it out to her, and she took a few. "Did he lie to you?"

She half laughed while dabbing at one eye. "Not this time."

He waited for her to continue, but she didn't. "I think he's having a bad day—"

"You don't always have to defend him, Lex." Her voice dripped with acid.

"Okay." Lex sighed. Clark would have to make amends on his own this time. Lex really was rooting for him, but he kept messing things up. "Take all the time you need, okay? And remember the mansion doors are always open to you if you do want to talk."

She nodded, and he patted her shoulder one last time before leaving her alone.

It wasn't the first time he'd had to comfort Lana while she cried about Clark doing something to hurt her, and he suspected it wouldn't be the last. Sometimes Clark had off days, and Smallville seemed to have an abundance of toxins, diseases, and other strange things that caused people to have worse-than-bad days against their will. Lex would forgive Clark when it was over, and Lana probably would, too.

This time, though, there was one comment Clark wouldn't be able to take back. The words kept echoing in Lex's mind as he drove away from the Talon, the darkness quoting them back, the truth in the taunt sinking in like acid:

You'd love to know, wouldn't you?

Getting Pete and Chloe to the hospital after catching the car they drove off a cliff was only the start of a very long afternoon. Clark was relieved that Chloe had no memory of what they'd done while she was infected with the parasite, and while Pete didn't remember what happened, he still apologized for what Clark told him he'd done. That was the easy part.

Since red meteor rock had been involved, Clark's mom sat down with him and talked him through everything he remembered. She wasn't angry with him, and she gave him a hug and plenty of encouragement after he finished, but recounting the things he'd said and done to Lana and Lex was horribly embarrassing.

His mom suggested flowers and chocolates for Lana, along with a heartfelt apology and an offer to give her space for a little while. She also boxed up a few fresh baked muffins for Clark to take to Lex, and told Clark to promise to stay out of the caves until Dr. Walden was done. He didn't like that part, but he supposed it was better to wait a little longer than to keep fighting with his best friend.

Clark started with Lana, because he was more worried about that conversation. He picked up a single red rose, but the chocolate shop was already closed for the night, so he bought a personal pizza instead—at least it came in a box—and dropped by the Talon while she was cleaning up.

It went about as badly as he could have expected. Of course, she wouldn't forgive him for kissing Chloe, and he couldn't tell her about the red meteor rock, so in the end, he left without any kind of resolution. The worst part was knowing how badly he had hurt her, recognizing that there was nothing he could do to comfort her.

In his distress, he accidentally took the pizza with him, and he forgot to drop by the house to pick up the muffins for Lex, so he ended up showing up in Lex's study with a cold personal pizza.

Lex didn't look up from his laptop. "Hard to stay away from you when you show up in my study."

Clark's heart sank. From Lex's perspective, he knew he deserved that. "I'm sorry, Lex, I didn't mean it—"

"It's okay, Clark." Lex closed his laptop, and his eyes fell on the pizza box.

Clark looked down at it. "Oh, um . . . This is nothing." He set the box down on the pool table and took a step closer to Lex's desk. "I'm sorry about earlier. I'll stay away from the caves until Dr. Walden finishes." It would be hard to stay away from the only source he had to learn about his past, but he really didn't expect Dr. Walden to get anywhere with his translations. Besides, Clark could always find out Dr. Walden's schedule and sneak in when he wasn't there.

"Actually, I talked to Walden. He's agreed to make an exception."

Relief flooded through Clark. "Thanks, Lex." He smiled. "So, we're good?"

A long pause. "Yeah. We're good." Lex opened back up his laptop and stared at it.

Clark was about to leave, thankful Lex had been easier to make amends with than Lana, but then the sarcasm in Lex's voice hit him. "You sure?"

"Yeah."

"If something's bothering you—"

"I know you don't want to talk about it, and I don't want to argue with you. It's not worth our friendship."

Clark sighed. He wanted to accept that and let it go, but he knew his mom wouldn't be satisfied if he went home and told her that he had left things like this.

"Lex." Clark took a step closer. "My parents say you're part of our family, right? That means we're not just friends, we're brothers. You can be honest with me."

Lex looked back up at Clark. "Then why do you lie to me?"

"When have I ever lied to you?" Clark kept his face as blank as he could as he said it, but guilt squirmed in his stomach.

"I asked you earlier today if your interest in the cave was really about a term paper. Do you remember what you said?"

Clark swallowed—he'd completely forgotten about that. And he couldn't exactly deny it.

"Thing is, I would like to know, Clark. Your interest in the caves. Is it really about a term paper?"

Clark was starting to regret his comment about brothers being honest with each other. It just made it harder to keep lying. "I . . . wasn't in my right mind, Lex, I said a lot of things I didn't mean. You know that."

"I know." Lex looked down for a moment. "I also know you're avoiding the question."

"I said I was sorry!" Clark was starting to panic. "What do you want from me?"

Lex just stared at him for a long time. "You just said we're brothers. Was that a lie, too?"

"No!"

"But back in the barn . . ."

Clark took a deep breath, scrambling for a believable half-truth. "I was in a bad mood, trying to pick a fight. So I said something I thought would make you mad. I'm writing a term paper about the caves. And that's all there is to it."

Lex's head hung. "Okay, Clark. I believe you."

Clark couldn't push down the guilt. He lied to his friends all the time—he had to—but this felt different. This felt more like gaslighting—something Clark had read about in a psychology book. He was purposely denying things Lex knew to be true, making him feel like he was going crazy, forcing him to doubt his own eyes and ears. It was a form of abuse, and it could do serious damage.

He couldn't tell Lex anything else about his secret, but he knew there had to be something better he could say. He just had no idea what it might be. His dad would know.

"Lex, you should come over."

"It's almost ten."

"Yeah, but . . . my mom made you some muffins, and I forgot them at home . . ."

"I'm a bit tired, Clark. Can I pick them up tomorrow?"

Clark wouldn't sleep tonight. He couldn't leave this one alone. "Please, Lex."

Lex sighed heavily. "Fine."