A/N: I'm not sure of Eda was cursed as a teen or not but let's say for the sake of this angsty one shot she was.
Also TW for suicide attempt!
It was an oddly satisfying feeling. Drowning, not being able to breathe but a few bubbles every now and then. The lack of oxygen, the glimpse of her inevitable death was a pleasure to her.
Eda had never been one to think of dying. She rarely ever thought about it, which she should've considering all the dangerous stunts she did, many of which should've killed her a long time ago. No, all that ever filled her head were pranks and parties. At least, that's what it seemed like to others.
She'd managed to drag her sister, Lilith, to a house party just outside of Bonesborough on the night their parents would be out. Lilith had begged her not to go, to stay at home like they were told, to stay out of trouble. But rebellious, kickass, uncontrollable Edalyn Clawthorne wouldn't listen. Instead, she made Lilith come along with her to keep her in check, since even she knew that if she had too many drinks, she'd do something a little too crazy.
But halfway through the night, things began to be too much for Eda to handle. No, it wasn't the dozens of shots she took. No, it wasn't the fact that almost every boy tried to get her in bed with them. And no, the music wasn't too loud that it hurt her head. It was much worse than social anxiety or regret.
Her curse. The damn curse.
It ruined everything, and not only did it make her sick, it also added to her many hidden insecurities. She hated drinking her elixir everyday just to keep herself from turning into a creature beyond anyone's fears. But no matter how much she chugged down her throat, she would always be a monster deep down. The feathers had sprouted from her arms and she didn't even realize it until someone pointed it out. In a panic, she'd ran to the bathroom to hide, and to throw up all over the floor.
The curse was just the tip of the iceberg. There was a reason she doused herself in alcohol whenever she got the chance. It wasn't to be a rebel, it wasn't so she could be 'cool'. It was a distraction. It normally worked on occasion, but not this time. This time, it only made her feel worse, and not just because she puked her guts out.
I can't take this anymore. She'd thought to herself, practically chugging the elixir down. No, it wasn't the elixir that temporarily cured her curse. It was something that would do almost the opposite. It wasn't golden, it was a sickly green, almost black-ish color. Everyone in the Boiling Isles knew of this elixir, and they were all warned to never, ever drink it.
But Eda had managed to get her hands on it, and had saved it for the right moment.
But she didn't want to die alone in a bathroom. Oh hell no. Eda Clawthorne should go out with a bang. She should be remembered for how she died.
She acted fast, before the elixir could kick in. She'd dragged herself throughout the halls, ignoring the urge to fall to the floor and black out. Mostly everyone was outside, but no one was swimming, which seemed odd since it was such a large pool. Perfect. She'd thought as she stepped out.
Everyone's voices echoed in her ears, though their conversations were incoherent to her. Her vision was blurring and her head was spinning. She could feel her body growing weaker and weaker with every passing second, and it took all her strength to step up onto the diving board.
No one noticed her, so now she had to get their attention. Even though it hurt to speak, she managed to do so. Loudly.
"You guys ready for my next trick?!"
Everyone looked over at her. Normally, they would've cheered "hell yeah!" or something along those lines. But when they saw her, and how awful she looked and sounded, they knew something was off with her. Her skin was paler than usual with subtle dark veins on her neck, and her hair appeared to be lighter, like it was turning white.
Eda began to fall off the board as she said, "And now, I'll fucking kill myself..."
Her body plopped down into the freezing water, sinking right towards the bottom. It was a deep pool, at least eight feet. The affects of the elixir not only made her sick, but it also weighed her down to sink her quickly.
Her tired, golden eyes were barely kept open, but she could see all the bubbles around her floating back up towards the surface. Her surroundings grew darker the deeper she sank. The veins on her neck spread out to her arms and the sides of her face. She rather enjoyed feeling ill like this, since it wasn't going to last much longer. Soon, she will have drowned and there would be no saving her. No magic, no tricks, no antidotes could help her.
Once Eda finally hit the bottom of the pool, a different sensation overwhelmed her. Sure, the moments of sinking and losing oxygen had been quite enjoyable. But now that she was actually on the verge of death, suddenly she didn't want this anymore. Her heart was pounding in her chest, her limbs were trembling, and if she could cry, she would've burst into tears by now. Suddenly, she hated this feeling. Suddenly, she wanted to be saved, she wanted someone to rescue her.
Suddenly, she wanted to live.
Even through her blurry vision, she saw several figures jump into the pool, many she was able to recognize as fellow Hexside students. They all swam down to her, faster than anyone had ever swam before. But the main person Eda could see, the one who was swimming the fastest, was none other than her sister.
Lilith had definitely been crying, it was seen all over her face. The last thing Eda saw was her poor sister's pleading face and her hand reaching out to her.
—
Eda finally woke up many, many hours later. Her eyes opened slowly but she gasped so desperately, she could feel the lack of oxygen in her lungs. It hurt to breathe, there was a heavy weight in her chest she couldn't explain. Her eyes were burning which caused instinctive tears to dwell, as well as her vision to blur. Her ears were ringing, but she could hear the sound of a heart monitor beeping near her, and with how slow and unsteady it was, she assumed it was her own heartbeat.
She coughed and heaved a few times, attempting to rid herself of the discomfort in her airwaves, but to no avail. She slowly sat up and looked around the room, which was only lit by a single lantern in the corner. Judging by the plain walls and a single curtain separating her from the other side of the room, she knew she was in the hospital. She was sheltered by a gown and the thin blankets provided by the bed. Several tubes and wires were connected to her forearms and the sides of her head. And by the darkness of the window, she assumed it was either late night or early morning.
But she wasn't alone in the room. The second she gazed over at the corner, she saw her sister slouched in the chair, dozed off in an uncomfortable sleeping position. Even from afar, Eda could see the stained tears on her pale face.
Oh god, what have I done? She thought, bringing her knees to her chest.
She never intended to hurt her sister, it didn't even cross her mind while she attempted to end her life. She didn't even realize how it was going to affect her family. Now she was never going to be left alone, and poor Lilith would never be the same.
Eda's focus remained on her sleeping sister for the longest time. It wasn't until she heard the door open that she was able to look away and snap out of her horrible thoughts. She saw a nurse enter the room, carrying a tray full of elixirs and what she assumed was what a hospital considered 'food'. "Oh, you're awake." The nurse said having noticed the girl sitting upright.
"Wh-what happened?" Eda asked in a quiet, raspy voice, her shoulders scrunching up in vulnerability.
"The Healing Coven managed to slow the spread of the poison on your way here." He informed her as he approached the side of the bed, "It was a long process, but we were able to remove it from your system before it reached your brain. It will take a couple weeks to recover from the side effects of the venom."
Eda gulped, bowing her head in shame and fear. Now she was really going to regret drinking poison, as anyone who didn't die from it suffered severe health consequences. "A-and my curse?" She asked. It could be assumed that the doctors would've figured out she was cursed if they observed her nervous system, not to mention her feathers had appeared before she drank the poison.
"Don't worry." The nurse said, holding up a bottle of golden elixir and handing it to her.
Eda felt immense relief and didn't hesitate to take it from him and chug it down like it was alcohol. After finishing it off, she sighed and glanced down, catching a glimpse of her hair on her shoulder. She gasped and held it in her view, noticing how many strands had turned grey-ish white, mixed in with the bright orange it used to be.
Noticing her distraught reaction, the nurse sighed. "Unfortunately, that's one of the side effects." He informed her, "Your hair may turn completely grey by the end of the month, there's no way to prevent it."
The young witch grumbled in frustration and hid her face in her hands. As if things weren't bad enough, now she was going to spend the rest of her teen years already looking like an old lady. But that wasn't even her biggest issue, so she didn't dwell on it for long.
"If I may ask, where did you get such a lethal potion?" The nurse asked, mixing up some contents in a bowl.
Eda sighed, shrugging her shoulders. "I can't even remember." She answered honestly, "All I know is I found it somewhere and I held onto it for personal reasons."
He stared down at her sympathetically, a frown forming on his face. "Hey, whatever happened to make you think you had to end your life, I'm sorry you had to experience it." He said solemnly, "But I hope you're aware that you have people that care about you and obviously want you to live."
They both glanced over at Lilith, which made Eda's heart sink to her stomach. If she wasn't feeling guilty at first, she most certainly was now. And it was unbearable to feel, almost like she was drowning yet again.
"I don't want to send you to a mental hospital, but if that's what it takes to help, then you might want to consider it." He added, which startled Eda at first. She was already going to be known as the suicidal teen now, she didn't want to be seen as the "depressed, mentally unstable suicidal teen who had to go to a mental hospital once" on top of it.
She shook her head, "No, no. I-I've learned my lesson."
The nurse sighed and shook his head, placing the bowl down on the table next to her bed. "I'll leave you be for now." He said, setting down another bottle of elixir. "Here's a sleeping potion in case you need it. And I'll be back to check on you later, alright?"
Eda merely nodded in silence, allowing him to leave in her peace, and without a single sharp object or poisonous elixir in the room. The doctors didn't want to risk anything, but they had a feeling she wouldn't do anything to harm herself if they left at least one person in the room with her; her sister.
She hugged her knees and hid her face, rocking back and forth in the bed. She thought she would've been relieved to be saved, but instead she felt even more miserable than before. If she'd died, she wouldn't have had to live on with the reputation of being an unstable girl with an impulsive need to kill herself. And now no one was ever going to let her move past it, not for years.
After a while, she was able to calm down from a brief panic attack just in time for Lilith to begin awakening from her nap. She groaned quietly and stretched, shifting from the previous discomforting position in the chair. She rubbed her eyes and opened them, directly gazing at her sister.
"Eda!" She sat up, her heart nearly stopping for a second. Relieved didn't even begin to explain how she felt to see her older sister alive and awake. She didn't even care about the greyed hair or bloodshot eyes, she was just glad that Eda was still here with her.
She leapt from the chair and lunged to the bed to embrace Eda tightly, sobbing loudly over her shoulder. "Oh Eda!" She smiled bittersweetly, squeezing her sister with trembling arms. "I thought I lost you!"
Eda was taken aback by the haste affections of her sister, but she wasn't reluctant to reciprocate, since clearly Lilith needed her to right now. She pulled the younger witch close to her, rubbing her back for comfort.
"Don't ever do that again." Lilith cried, burying her face in the crook of Eda's neck. "Please don't ever leave me like that..."
Eda's tears were now genuine, not just a reflex from the burning sensation in her eye sockets. Her sister's words tore her heart into pieces. To hear Lilith sound so desperate and scared because of her was far worse than any pain caused by the curse or pressure from her peers.
"It's okay, Lily." She whispered, squeezing her little sister tightly to assure her she would never leave her. "It's okay, I'm here..."