Casualties
The rest of the week is mostly quiet. Thursday afternoon I sit quietly at the table with Lauren, and Angela. Everyone is buzzing about a trip to the beach this weekend and Lauren keeps giving me the side eye, maybe gauging my reaction when Tyler asks if I'll go. I'm a sucker for the beach, so I reluctantly agree. I kinda hope that I don't have to see Paul or his friends, but looking at that gleam in Lauren's eyes tells me it's wishful thinking. Of course she's not gonna go to the Reservation and not see him.
I breathe a sigh of relief when the final bell rings. Since physical education is my last period of the day, I take my time getting dressed and slowly make my way to the parking lot. Lauren Mallory is in full makeout mode with Embry Call. Ugh! I wince away in disgust.
"What's wrong Swan? Jealous?" I can hear the smirk in his voice.
"You wish Call. I have better things to do than fantasize about the likes of you and Lor sucking face." I yank open my door and toss my bag is. I can hear Lauren giggling at what I said. I roll my eyes and jump in.
I didn't need Paul finding out anything more about me. At least before I'm of age to accept that stupid imprint he's so worried about. Yet it feels like a part of me already has. It's obvious I have feelings for him, and though it was unintentional, I'm kind glad for that.
"So Swan, will you be at the beach this weekend? I hear Paul's available on Saturday," I can practically hear the smirk in his tone.
I rolled my eyes not looking at him. I was just about to shut my door when my phone rang. The familiar ring tone of My Valentine by Frank Sinatra filled the small space. My heart clinched in my chest. I glanced at Embry and Lauren, looking at me with a curious expression. Embry cocked a brow at me. Obviously he knew it wasn't Paul, right? I made no move to answer it.
"Aren't you gonna get that Bella?" Lauren asked curiously.
I twisted my hands together avoiding eye contact. Did I want to answer? Did I want to hear what he wanted to say? I knew the answer immediately was yes. But I couldn't find myself to do it. I didn't want Embry near me when I did. I wanted privacy. Paul had said he was slowly showing the signs, and I wanted to know if he was going to be okay.
"Yeah, Bella. Aren't you gonna get that?" Embry asked when I didn't move.
I sat quietly, unable to speak. My mouth felt dry, as if I were in a desert. Embry walked closer, I tensed.
"Want me to answer it?" His voice sounded closer, filled with concern and something else I didn't know.
"No, Em. Just let it go to voicemail," I whispered.
"Are you avoiding Paul?" Lauren asked.
I scoffed. Of course they thought it was Paul. I couldn't bring myself to correct them. I didn't want Paul knowing I spoke to Jacob before I told him. He's been becoming territorial and it bothered me some.
"No... yes... maybe. I just don't know what to think right now. I don't understand how he doesn't feel guilty about anything he did. He didn't really apologize for it either. He was only sorry that it hurt me," my voice trailed off as traitorous tears filled my eyes.
I quickly wiped my eyes before turning back to Emb, and Lor.
"I guess it's expected now, though. I'll see you guys," I shut my door starting the engine and driving carefully away.
I didn't get far before I had to hold myself together. I pulled over to the side of the road. Images of Paul with other women flashed in my head. I had to shake them away before I got angry and let the siren out. I squared myself up and started driving again. After I pulled into the driveway, I sat there and cried. The images assaulting my thoughts once again. This time, it was hard to control. It started raining as I exited my truck cab. I left everything in the seat, getting out trying to reign in all my self control. I clutched at my middle as I fought my inner siren and the darkness within. I heard a rustling behind me. I turned to see nothing amiss, catching a glimpse of my reflection in the side mirror. My eyes looked like they were bleeding black ink in the corners. My skin glowed metallic. I was panicking now.
"Swan?" his voice called from behind me.
I turned to face him fighting harder. He stepped back slightly after taking in my appearance.
"Your eyes," he whispered.
I groaned in pain. He really shouldn't be here right now. I tried to speak, but words failed me.
"What do you need?" he seemed nervous.
Good! The voice shouted in my head. The sudden noise causing me to clamp down on my ears. Finally I took a deep breath and forced myself to compose my self. It hurt, and took everything out of me. I suddenly was throwing up by my tire. I felt his hand gathering up my hair, as I retched out my guts.
"Hey, are you okay?" Paul's voice was soothing.
In all honesty I have no clue why I always lose control when it comes to Jake, or him. If this imprint thing was what caused it, maybe I should break it.
"I'm fine," I said, standing up straight.
"Yeah I can see that," he replied sarcastically.
"Don't you have some place to be," I demanded.
"I'm tired of staying away from you. I'm tired of pretending that I'm someone I'm not. Besides I'm trying to do something nice for you and you don't even try back," his voice broke a little on the last word.
"Did you fall and hit your head, and suddenly have amnesia? Or are you kidding?" I almost shouted.
"What? What do you mean amnesia?" He genuinely looked confused.
I sighed, of course he probably was trying to forget. I made my way in the front door and headed to the kitchen. He leaned against the door way watching my every move. I tossed him a water bottle from the fridge. He mumbled a 'thanks' before chugging the contents.
"So what are you doing tomorrow?" He asked.
"I don't know yet. I think I'm going dress shopping with Jess and Ang tomorrow night. Why?" I replied.
"Maybe we can do something together after... bedtime?" He paused for a moment. "Wait. Dress shopping? For what?" He looked confused.
"The school dance. You know? Prom," I stated matter of factly.
He visibly tensed up at this.
"Are you going?" He asked.
"Stupid question, of course. It's not for a while anyway, besides the girls are getting their dress for the upcoming dance next week I think." I replied.
He stared at me thoughtfully for a moment. Finally he let out a sigh.
"To answer your question by the way, sure. Why not, it's not like you could screw up anymore than you have," I said walking past him heading to the stairs. He followed soundlessly.
"Do you have a date for this Prom," his teeth were clenched tightly together.
"At the moment, no. I was going to ask Jasper but he's kind of leaving town for a while anyway." My mood was beginning to feel airy. I silently wondered if he picked up on my lie.
"Someone's calling your cell phone," he said randomly.
"And?" I asked, knowing exactly who it was.
Paul let out a huff before striding to balcony door.
"Paul?" I whispered, squaring my shoulders.
I could see the muscles in his back relax a bit. I took a step forward placing my tiny hand on his sculpted muscles. I could feel his shudder at the skin to skin contact.
"Will you go to my Prom with me?" My voice was shaking and I was nervous about how he would reply. Honestly, I felt like curling in a ball and hiding. But it was too late, the question was out there.
"Isabella, I would love to take you to your prom," he replied. It felt heavy in the air tho. I knew there was a 'but' somewhere. I stood tensed, waiting for him to continue.
"But..." there it is. "I don't have a suit..." his voice trailed off as he looked downcast with a sad expression on his face. Not what I expected.
"Then let me pick one out for you. That way you can owe me one later," I winked at him with a smirk on my lips. "Why don't you join me in Seattle next weekend, and we can get it set up. Or we can Sunday, it might be cheaper as they usually charge for time crunching." I waited for his reply.
He rubbed the back of neck as he contemplated his options given. "Fine," he let out a sigh. "This Sunday works better. I have patrols next Sunday."
I gave him a small smile before taking a seat on the loveseat facing the forest beyond. Paul moved to stand before me, nealing and grasping my hands in his. "Princess, you don't have to worry about it. I'll figure something out." And I knew he would.
We sat for hours talking a bit more, trying to get to know each other. Paul asked most of the questions. I felt odd revealing so much about myself and getting edited answers from him. He told me I'd get to meet his alpha and other pack brothers this weekend, assuring me that they don't know of the imprint. I felt my chest tighten at that, thinking it's for the best. I wasn't exactly ready to reveal myself to a pack of werewolves.
"Isn't your father going to be here soon?" Paul questioned suspiciously when Charlie hadn't showed up.
"He's got the late shift tonight," I replied looking up at the stars in the sky. It wasn't cloudy tonight, and I took advantage looking up at the stars too dull for a human to see.
I turned to look at Paul doing that same thing. He took in a sharp inhale before speaking again. "It's going to rain tonight. It's supposed to freeze early in the morning." He was so relaxed in that moment, it almost felt like a normal relationship.
I smiled softly to myself, wondering if I could one day overlook the things he's done. He's not yours to judge such things done. The thought, though true, hurt to think. I was no better, dating Jacob. But you didn't sleep with him. No I didn't. I almost did tho.
I stood unceremoniously and headed to the door, I turned back and bid Paul good night before he caught me crying, again. I didn't wait for him to reply or move. I headed into my bathroom and ran a warm shower. Finally standing underneath the cascading water, I let my tears fall. The pain I've caused him and the pain he's caused me, crashing over my overwhelming emotional state. Turning off the water, I heard a slight shuffle before silence. I quickly dried and dressed, brushed my teeth and brushed my hair. I walked downstairs and prepared a plate for Charlie and stuck it in the microwave before heading back up and tucking myself in bed. Clearing my thoughts I finally fell into a dreamless deep sleep.
The next morning was dull and grey. I quickly dressed in a pair of whitewashed jeans and a black sweater. Shoving a pack of poptarts and a bottle of water in my back pack, I head outside into the freezing cold after yanking my jacket off the hook by the front door. Not paying attention, I skid on a patch of black ice, nearly falling into the frozen mud.
After starting my truck, I sat and let the cab warm up. I picked up my phone to check my messages, my heart sinking at the last message from my 'best friend'.
I guess this is how our
relationship ends? Really
Isabella? Some best friend!
I placed my phone in my bag after putting it on silent. Blinking away tears, I put my truck in gear and headed off towards the school. The roads are a bit icy and slick, so the speed limit is slow. The parking lot is nearly full when I park, stepping out gingerly. My foot slips on a patch of black ice again, warm arms wrap around my waist catching me before I fall.
"Careful princess," a familiar voice whispered.
"Don't you have school? What are you doing here anyway," I asked dropping my phone from the front pocket.
"Actually I wanted to apologize," he replied.
"What for?" I asked bending to pick up my phone.
Just as I was fully crouched, I looked up and met Paul's intense gaze. His expression was pained and his body was completely tensed up. That's when I heard it. It was piercing and high pitched, screeching in the air around us. It was a familiar sound that I couldn't place at that moment. I didn't have time to take in my surroundings before I was hit by something cold and hard. Crashing into Paul's awaiting arms, before slamming toward the asphalt. Everything moving in slow motion. Mere seconds later a van slammed into the side of my truck exactly where Paul and I had been standing prior to falling. Then I felt it, the pain shooting through my body.
"Paul?" My voice sounded far away. As if it were echoing around me.
I was instantly wrapped tightly as a low growl ripped through the air. I looked up to see Emmett and Rose pulling Edward towards the forest. His eyes were so dark.
"Isabella? Are you alright darlin', can you hear me?" Jasper's voice was peculiar. His eyes were a golden honey.
"She's bleeding," Paul's voice was panicked.
"I'm aware of that mutt." I heard Jazz whisper angrily at Paul.
"I don't think it's safe for you to be near her, don't you agree leech?" Paul snapped back.
"Her blood doesn't effect me. Not the way it should. I don't smell it as food. It's more of a calming effect than anything." Jasper spoke in a poetic tone, as if he were describing a fine wine. His cold fingers started to probe my cranium gently. When his fingers brushed above my left ear, I flinched slightly. "The ambulance should be here in a moment. They'll be able to decide how far the extent of damage is." Jasper spoke calmly.
"Is she going to be okay?" Paul's voice was shaking.
"Minor cuts and bruises," Jasper replied.
At that moment I felt myself being lifted from Paul's body. I tried to hold on to him not wanting to lose his warmth, but my arms were heavy.
"Honey, we need to put you on the gurney so you can get looked over in the ambulance." The paramedics voice was calm yet annoyed. I let them place me in the ambulance. I saw Paul and Jasper speaking to the paramedics, Charlie pulling up in his cruiser. Kill me now. I thought with embarrassment.
Within minutes, Paul climbed in and sat on the bench next to me. I heard Jasper's voice from above my head, assuming he was in the passenger seat.
"I'll meet y'all at the hospital," I heard Charlie say. I couldn't take my eyes away from Paul's face. I couldn't even register what had just happened actually. My head was swimming and I had a pounding headache.
The ride to the emergency room at Forks General was quick. The whole ride Paul didn't seem to let up at all, he was tense and his eyes seemed to be screaming about it. He didn't open his mouth unless spoken to. His jaw stayed clenched as his eyes never strayed far.
As soon as the ambulance opened, chaos resumed. Nurses and doctors gathered our small group until another ambulance arrived. Paul and Jasper stood at the foot of my bed as they tended to Tyler Crowley. He had a cut above left brow that was bleeding down his face. The sight was something other worldly. It wasn't subtle when a hush fell over the emergency room. A tall blonde Dr. Cullen made his way through the crowded emergency room, fluidly. He stopped by my bed, his mouth was moving but I couldn't pay attention enough to grasp his words. I kept looking to Paul. My vision was becoming blurry, and if I hadn't been sitting already I was sure I would have collapsed. Instead I sort of just fell over on the bed.
I was woken by a bright light flashing in my eyes. Dr. Cullen was examining my pupil dilations. He asked me to count the fingers in front of my face. Chuckling when I complained about it. I noticed Jasper was no longer in the emergency room, I was surprised to find Paul was still here though. He obviously noticed my look of curiosity and confusion.
"I'm not going anywhere, princess. Can't get rid of me that easy," he whispered with a smirk on his lips.
"I wasn't trying to get rid of you. You're just a lot to take in," I replied sheepishly. He chuckled, a low throaty sound. It sent a delicious shiver down my spine. I smiled a small smile at his reaction, knowing he would just know, that he effected me in such a way. Even lying here with a splitting headache, I wanted him.
He leaned down, his hot breath on my ear as he spoke. "Careful princess, I can smell you." I let out a squeak of surprise. Of course he could, he was a wolf for crying out loud.
We were brought back to reality by a throat clearing. I looked up to see Dr. Cullen smiling politely. "Miss Swan, I've tapped your cut closed. It should be healed by morning. Not to worry, I've marked it down as just a small scratch. Head wounds tend to bleed more. You don't seem to have a concussion, but please return if your vision becomes blurry or you feel nauseous or dizzy. The nurse is speaking with your father at the moment, arranging your discharge." He looked over at Paul sticking his hand out to shake. Paul only stared at him. "Mr. Lahote, it was nice to finally meet you. Bella has told us so much about you. Don't worry, all wonderful things of course. Nothing to worry about. If you'll excuse me," he said turning to walk towards the hallway.
I turned my attention back to Paul, he was glaring at the spot Dr. Cullen had disappeared to. I raised a hand and gently caressed his arm. He turned to look at me, his expression softening. "You told them about me?" His voice wasn't angry about this tidbit of information, in fact he seemed to be proud almost.
"I needed someone to talk to about everything. Carlisle offered to lend an ear and give advice, sorta like a therapist would. He wasn't judging us by the way," I replied. I saw a shimmer of hope flash in his eyes. A tiny flash of fear tracing the contours of his face before returning to the bashful expression he held.
"What exactly did you talk about?" His question was expected, I was just surprised he'd ask me here.
I lowered my voice as low as I could manage, "I kind of told him everything. Including the red scar over my heart, our first kiss, well technically my first kiss ever. I told him about our late nights together, the awful heart attacks. I told him about the voice screaming in my head, meeting another merfolk, and how I keep losing control when it comes to you and Jacob Black..." my voice trailed off after rambling. A thick sob escaping my throat. I gasped realizing I'd said too much in my babbling fit of emotions. I looked up to meet the hard stare of Paul. He was hiding his pain very well behind his mask of anger.
"What red scar? Heart attacks? What do you mean you keep losing control? What else are hiding from me Swan?" he let out a low growl. I ducked my head knowing this was going to be a long story.
"Look Paul, we can't talk here. There's been enough casualties for one day. If you want we can talk later when we have more privacy. I'm sorry I kept things from you but at the time I had every right to do so. In case you forgot, you don't own me. I'm still my own mermaid until I turn eighteen. There's a lot I need to explain, but even more I need to find out." I let out a huff of air after finishing. I needed to finish reading those journals from my Grandmother and soon. It's not very helpful that I have practically forgotten about them for a while. I let out a sigh looking at Paul and trying to figure out his reaction.
"Fine. But I want to know everything." His voice was husky but stern. He was upset and hurt, and I didn't blame him. But he also hurt me too, so I definitely didn't have to coddle him. "At least show me this scar." He whispered quietly, his voice cracking with unshed tears.
I nodded towards the curtain as I grabbed the collar of my shirt. He slid the privacy curtain closed sitting at my side, I pulled the shirt down to reveal the scar I didn't have to cover today. He let out a small groan when he saw it. He reached up as if to touch it but I quickly covered it and swatted him away.
"Don't. It hurts if you touch it." I whisper.
"Let me princess. Let me... please." He was pleading, his voice pained. I nod again before I pull the shirt, once again revealing the scar. He gently grazed his fingers across the jagged line, whimpering when I flinched slightly. I was surprised that it didn't hurt as much when he touched it. He bent forward and gently kissed along the scar. It felt odd, but not in a bad way. It felt as if it was finally numb after all this time of burning slightly. It wasn't ever painful, just uncomfortable.
When I looked down at his expression his eyes met mine. They were glowing slightly, a strange yellow tinted glow. I watched him in awe as his gaze never left mine. Gasping when he licked along the scar. It didn't go away, just faded a lot more. It wasn't as dark, if anything it was a few shades lighter. As if Paul could heal it. I hummed quietly as he nuzzled my neck. I felt a slight vibration coming from his chest. Was he purring? I wondered.
He lifted his head as he spoke, "C'mon, Charlie is waiting for us. I'm sure he's wondering if you're going to be okay."
I shrugged in defeat. I was not ready to face the questions I was sure he had. Especially since I know he saw Paul here, with me. I took Paul's hand in mine, carefully standing up and headed to where Charlie was surely signing my release forms. I didn't hate hospitals, but I detested them. The lingering smell of disinfectant was sharp to my nose. The smell of disease and blood was overwhelming. I had to get out of here.
Charlie was surprised when he saw Paul. His eyes never missing anything, he glanced at our hands together before smiling up at us. He still seemed worried but relieved that everything was okay.
"Thank goodness you're okay Bell." he said, eyes tightening. He pulled me into a hug, I could hear him choking back a sob.
"Me too dad," I pulled back looking at his expression. His eyes kept going to Paul questioningly. "This is my-" I was interrupted.
"Paul Lahote, I'm Bella's boyfriend. It's nice to meet you again sir." I stood there gapping at him. Did he just give us a title? He didn't even ASK! I thought, exasperated. They shook hands; Charlie glancing at me with unspoken questions and definitely a hint of anger. Paul was smiling, no doubt enjoying my reaction. I felt a blush crawling up my neck, I was embarrassed.
"I had no idea Bell was dating anyone new," Charlie's eyes bore into my own after speaking.
"Uh, yeah dad. Sorry, it's still new and everything..." I couldn't find the words to tell him that Jacob and I had broken up over the phone. I didn't want to upset him.
"Well I guess. Everything okay between you and Jake still?"
Did he really just ask that? I could hear a low growl emanate from Paul. I took a slow breath, prepared to answer as truthfully as possible. "Actually, dad.." I was cut off when I saw Jacob himself running through the hospital entrance. I didn't even have time to think or fully process anything before I felt myself fainting.
I was relieved when I woke up in my own bed. I was not relieved when I saw Jacob sitting at the foot of my bed. Paul sat in my rocking chair, elbows on his knees and his face buried in his hands. They weren't talking, and if they were before they weren't now.
I sat up slowly, it was disorienting to see it dark outside. I was out for the whole day? I cleared my throat, getting both of their attention. Paul rushed over to my side, checking me for injuries. Jacob just glared at Paul. Once Paul settled next to me I turned to look at Jake questioningly.
"I would have talked to you sooner but you wouldn't answer any of my calls. I wanted to try to make up for everything I put you through. I know the way things ended wasn't how I pictured it. I did want to break things off to protect you, but in person. However my father wouldn't even let me leave the house. I had to..." he didn't finish his sentence. He just sat there, looking from Paul to myself. Finally his expression became defeated and he stood. "I really am sorry Bella. I wish things could have been different. Maybe someday we'll be friends again." He leaned down and gently kissed my forehead before leaving.
I didn't know what to say or think. I felt awful. "I guess things aren't going to be the same anymore," I whispered.
"I guess you're right princess. The less casualties the better. You're friends called to let you know they want a rain check for dress shopping," he replied. Shoot I completely forgot.
"I will call them later. But for now I just want to rest." Paul stretched out next to me, pulling me onto his chest.
"It's late, you're father took the night shift. Get some sleep princess. We'll talk more in the morning." He gently kissed my cheek.
As I fell asleep two things became absolutely clear. First off, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Paul Lahote. Secondly, there was a part of me and I don't know how big that part was, that couldn't change my fate. Everything was going to change and I was sure he would have everything to do with that change.
Authors Note: I am still working on the next chapter, don't worry. I do apologize for the wait if it's a little while before I post it up. Hope you enjoy the story. :)