Chapter 39 - The Sea

September

Heero POV

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After another two weeks, Heero and Relena reached the town of Cameron, Louisiana, and from there, they could already easily spot the gray waters of the Gulf of Mexico. When they passed through the silent and calm city, they followed a straight road along the waterfront, heading west. It was a land of picturesque, green plains and marshlands that were stretching on both sides of their trail, a kingdom of various kinds of birds whose countless black V-formations flew against the blueness of the sky. Sometimes the asphalt abruptly ended, vanishing in the depths of swamps so frequent in this region - in those moments, Heero kept turning towards the seafront, and soon he guided them out to the sandy coast.

Heavy and ominously dark storm clouds were slowly approaching from the land towards the bay but were still distant. They already heard the first distant thunders over the swamps that illuminated the dark cumulonimbuses from the inside out. Heero figured they still had at least a few hours before the storm would have reached the coast.

"It's so beautiful here. Can you smell it, Heero?" Heero suddenly heard Relena say. She sent him a warm smile as the hot summer wind brushed her hair away from her cheeks. She took a deep breath, exhaled, and relaxed her body, sitting comfortably in her saddle and stroking Treaty's mane. "I love this fresh and salty smell of the ocean."

Heero said nothing at her words but looked away, in the direction of the far west again. They were approaching the border between the states of Louisiana and Texas; all they had to do was to go along the bay and then turn right onto one of the entry roads to the city of Houston. He realized that they were already so close to the goal they had set up so many months ago. And yet, something was unwaveringly bothering him, keeping him on high alert despite the idyllic landscape.

He furrowed his eyebrows, unsure what to think. It was hard to acknowledge that they were able to make their way through the whole country and manage to stay alive despite everything that they had encountered...

"Heero."

He turned his head and gazed at Relena. "Hn?"

"What's wrong with you? Didn't you hear what I was saying?"

"I was," Heero muttered shortly, then looked away from her again. The disturbing and conflicted thoughts in his head wouldn't leave him alone. It bothered him that the anxiety which had been tormenting him for several days already was tangible to her - like this tempest approaching them from the north. "…we should reach some beach resort in a few more kilometers. Maybe we'll find shelter from the rain there."

He didn't look at her but urged Zero to go faster and passed her by. Relena said nothing at his words and sped up Treaty to follow him.

After an hour or so, they arrived at a resort of the folksy sounding name 'Holly Beach.' It consisted of several shattered houses built on stilts and decaying caravans scattered on the vast plain, on the edge of the broad, sandy beach. Almost all lodges were on the verge of collapsing, except one. Unlike others, this one stood on reinforced concrete stilts, on a very slight hill, which was probably not flooded during more significant storms and surges. It was the only suitable place for shelter.

The storm still didn't catch up with them, but it enveloped the beach and the resort from the north with a tight wall of dark clouds reaching all the way to the horizon. Relena wanted to approach the ocean, and Heero couldn't refuse her that. Before they settled in the house, they headed together to the beach along an old gravel path, blocked by broken energy poles.

The very moment they reached the sand, Relena dismounted her horse and started taking off her shoes.

"Come on, Heero!" she encouraged him cheerfully, as her bare feet sank into the white sand. Then she unbuttoned her long denim pants and took them off, staying in the flannel, checkered shirt, a bit over her size. She reached the buttons of her shirt too, as if she wanted to undo them, but stopped in half a step and, in the end, didn't take it off.

Heero followed her joyful movements with his gaze as Relena ran across the beach and approached the water. As she ran, she let her long, honey-blonde hair down, and her each step churned a small cloud of sand up in the air. Her long, slender legs were the color of white sand that she was walking on - ivory-like. Heero slowly stepped down from Zero and, grabbing Zero, and Treaty by their bridles, led both horses towards the seashore. When he reached the line of wet sand, he released the horses, and they both immediately ran into the water, joyfully cooling their fetlocks.

Relena also got into the knee-deep water, then approached both horses, and splashed them with fresh water. The air around them flickered from thousands of droplets. Heero slumped on the edge of the waterline, throwing a heavy backpack off his shoulders with a low grunt. Cautiously watching Relena, he dipped his fingers into the wet sand, feeling it grate as he clenched his fist.

Their journey was coming to an end. With every day closer to Houston, Relena was happier. However, Heero realized that for him, Houston had long ceased to matter more than a cross on the map. It was the road that was important - because she was with him on this road. Could he expect her to stay by him even after he fulfills his promise? If there really was hope for humanity lies in Houston, what would happen to them when the world would begin to change?

He wiped his eyes with a soft grunt; he was tired. He couldn't sleep at night, repeatedly woken up because of his nightmares from the past. In his dreams, he kept seeing the suffering of the war in which he took part as a teenager, he experienced this anguish again, this hopelessness and loss of the will to live. And during the day, Quatre's words - those about the unknown luring in Houston - were tormenting him, returning with increasing strength with each kilometer closer to this damn city. And yet... every morning he would get up and move on.

Immersed in his dark thoughts, Heero observed as the receding waves formed small, foamy swirls and vortices around Relena's ankles… like hundreds of white cords trying to pull her deep into the ocean's depths…

"You're not coming?"

Her cheerful voice pulled him into reality again. He looked up and shook his head. Relena shrugged, then started walking in the shallow water along the seashore when she suddenly stopped abruptly and crouched, pulling something out of the water. She stood for a moment in the water, holding a small, bright, wet object in her hands. Heero kept gazing at her, thinking that in this view - of her standing in the shoal, in a long shirt, with her hair tangled by the wind - there was something genuinely divine, that had the mysterious power to deter his dark thoughts away. As if she were a smoldering wick of a candle in a dark room.

Then Relena turned around and walked out of the water and stood right next to Heero. "Look. There are plenty of them at the bottom!"

Heero hesitantly picked up the cowry shell given to him by Relena. It was tiny, not bigger than a cherry, but glowed with a pale pink color and was covered on top orange spots, and its moist surface glistened in the daylight.

"...Pretty," Heero sighed silently, twiddling the shell in his hands.

Relena narrowed her eyes, then knelt down in front of him, giving him a cautious glare. "You're apparently in a bad mood today. Why wouldn't you tell me what's going on in this head of yours?"

He looked at her but didn't say anything at her question. He wasn't sure what he could tell her - how to define what was bothering him... How to explain this mixture of relief and uncertainty, gratitude and fear that he felt at the same time whenever she was near. How could he admit to her that he didn't know what awaited them in Houston... and that knowing this fact made him unable to sleep peacefully at night, but during the day, incessantly commanded him to push west. Or maybe he should confess to her that he had foreboding, which he couldn't base on any reliable facts, but only on nightmares?

Relena's gaze softened as if she had just read his mind. The wind tangled her golden strands of hair around her slender neck, several delicate freckles appeared on the bridge of her shapely nose. Without any other word, Relena combed his long bangs out of his eye line in a heartwarming gesture that made him want to fuck this whole journey and stay here, with her, forever on this beach.

Regaining his composure, Heero looked down again, fixing his eyes on the shell in his hands. "...do you still have this strap for hair that you got from Cathy?" Relena nodded. "Bring it to me."

As Relena approached Treaty, Heero pulled a knife from his bosom and dug a small hole in the back of the shell, careful not to destroy it. When Relena brought the strap, he wrapped the cowries around the cord, then uncertainly looked up at Relena.

"Turn around," he asked her.

The look in her eyes told him that she was a little bit taken aback, but then she knelt right next to him and turned around, brushing her hair back from her nape.

The wind increased, and echoing sounds of the approaching storm reverberated around them when Heero carefully tied a thin, leather band with a seashell around her neck. When he finished, Relena turned to face him and touched the delicate necklace dangling on her chest. "Now it's beautiful," she whispered, smiling broadly. "Thank you."

"Yeah," Heero grunted, and at that moment, the rain began to mark hundreds of tiny, wet spots on the white sand around them. Heero stood up and helped Relena up. "The storm's here. Let's go."

x

Relena POV

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The beach around them disappeared behind a curtain of the gray, torrential downpour that finally reached the coast after chasing after them for the whole day. The porch they both ran onto was empty except for a few old ropes and abandoned bird nests, and its wooden construction creaked with each step. Dripping wet, but finally, under the roof, Relena wrung out her hair and the flanges of her flannel shirt in her hands, releasing streams of water on the floor, amazed by the intensity of the rain. Even her pants and shoes that she held in her hands were thoroughly soaked.

"I will go check this house," she heard Heero's voice behind her. "Stay here."

Relena looked back, gazing at Heero, who was already shearing off one of the wooden planks from the broken window. The old, punk wood fell to pieces under his fingers, and he tossed it away. "Please, be careful."

Heero glanced at her briefly and nodded knowingly, then slipped inside through the window, disappearing on the other side.

Standing on the porch, Relena realized that it was getting colder, she felt goosebumps appear on her bare, still wet thighs. The wind increased, blowing more water sideways, under the roof. From beneath the porch, she could hear Treaty and Zero's nervous neighing - the thunders apparently scared the horses that stood below, under the piles of the cabin structure. A calm, sunny day turned into a distant, almost blurred memory. Massive dark clouds thickened around the coast, and bolts of lightning were striking more and more often.

Waiting for Heero, Relena moved as close as possible to the house wall and looked west. Houston was already so close... They had crossed the whole continent. All they needed to do was to enter the city and find the laboratories, pass them the vaccine... Was that all? Looking far ahead, Relena played with the seashell hanging on her neck, and her left hand went imperceptibly to her underbelly. When they embarked on this journey, she wouldn't have thought that so much would have changed...

Then she heard the twang of the lock as Heero opened the door from the inside. She quickly lifted a hand from her lap and looked at him as he stood at the doorway to the house. "It's clear. Come on in," he said gently, opening the door wide for her, and Relena walked in.

The interior was almost intact. The living room was bathed in a twilight since half of the windows were shut and boarded. The walls were painted with dark moisture stains, the floor under the carpet was curved of humidity and creaked loudly under every step. In the corners of the room laid piles of sand, probably blown inside by the strong wind. Every horizontal surface was covered with a thick layer of white dust, but everything seemed surprisingly tidy. It was evident that nobody had been there for so many years already.

Heero locked the door behind them and walked into the smaller room, from where he soon returned with blue towels. "Believe it or not, but they are still dry. And almost not eaten by moths and mold."

Relena chuckled at his words, taking one of the towels from him with a short 'thank you.' In the middle of the living room stood a comfortable looking sofa. Relena came up to it and sat down, drying her hair and body with a towel.

"If you're cold, I'll light up a fire," Heero offered.

"No need to. When the wind's not blowing, it's warm," Relena replied, combing her hair, then looked around the room. "Quite cozy here. When I was little, I wanted to have a cottage by the sea like that."

Heero sat in the chair under the opposite wall, between the entrance door and the ruined TV. He gazed intently at her from behind the curtain of his unruly, wet bangs. "The Peacecraft family didn't have their summer estate of sorts?"

"We had. But I didn't like that place," Relena replied, wiping her thighs and legs with a towel. "It was a huge manor with several bedrooms and bathrooms, even with stables. And I always wanted to have an ordinary, cozy, even one-room house... as close to the sea as possible." She looked up at Heero and smiled warmly. "Like this one."

When their eyes met, Heero suddenly dropped his gaze and began to wipe his head with a towel. Relena felt her chest tighten as she realized that he had been running away from her look too often today. She sensed that something was bothering him, but she couldn't make him talk despite all her efforts. She could tell by the evident signs of tiredness on his face that Heero slept poorly again. She guessed that his nightmares must have had returned.

Relena stared at Heero while he ran his hands through his unruly hair, brushing his far too long bangs from his eyes. She realized that his hair had grown a lot in recent weeks. The bangs were already reaching behind his nose line, covering his ears and evidently disturbed him…

An idea came to her mind.

"Heero, do you still have some scissors?" Relena asked, and when Heero nodded, she put down her towel next to her on the sofa and held out her hand to him. "Gimme them."

When Heero obediently took a pair of scissors from his backpack and walked over to her, handing them to her, Relena grabbed his hand and smiled at him. "Please sit down here," she asked him, gently tugging his hand.

A little unsure about her actions, Heero slowly turned his back on her and sat down on the floor, leaning back against the couch, between Relena's legs. Relena moved closer to him, resting her feet on the floor on both sides of his body, and then tangled her fingers in his lush, damp hair. "You already have such long hair... they don't bother you?"

Heero didn't answer, which probably must have been some kind of answer to her question. Relena smiled to herself, still dipping her fingers in his hair, sensing the bones of his skull under the palm of her hand. Heero's usual chocolate-colored hair now turned dark brown from the water. Relena repeatedly combed his thick hair, looking from where it should be cut.

"Don't worry, I won't uglify you," Relena laughed nervously. "I was trimming my dad's hair for years..."

"It's okay. I trust you," Heero replied, sitting still.

Relena smiled to herself with relief. Somewhere near them, the lightning struck, and the whole house was filled with the lulling rumbling of the rain incessantly hitting the roof. Relena began to wind individual strands on her fingers, and unfalteringly started trimming the exceeding strands. Snip-snip. Then she combed Heero's hair again and took another strand between her fingers. Snip-snip. Snip-snip. Soon numerous small pieces of chocolate hair began to fall on Heero's shoulders, his chest, on her feet, and on the floor around them. Snip-snip, snip-snip.

"I'm in love with your hair…" Relena whispered after a moment of silence, almost dreamily, smiling, but then she heard Heero making a short snort. She chuckled, surprised. "What? I meant it."

"Oh yeah?" Heero teased, without turning to look back at her. "Look who's talking."

"But that was an honest compliment! And I don't require getting another one in return."

"…Okay," Heero sighed but didn't say anything more.

Relena fell silent, smiling to herself, figuring out that she probably won the argument. She leaned over Heero's head and brushed his bangs up, trimming them neatly. Snip-snip, snip-snip.

"I could recite further…" she whispered as her scissors continued to make a repetitive snip-snip sound. "I love… so many other things about you."

Another strand of hair… snip-snip. Tangled, cut strands kept falling on top of Heero's arms and then silently down on the dusty floor. Plunging her fingers in Heero's hair, Relena continued with a soft voice. "You have beautiful, captivating eyes, powerful arms… strong, empathetic heart… I feel safe by your side. I admire your courage."

The storm was intensifying, and the lightning struck already close enough that its flash illuminated the interior of the house. Relena briefly looked out the window, then took another strand of Heero's hair in her hands. She was almost done. Snip-snip. Snip-snip…

"…is there anything you're afraid of?" she asked absentmindedly.

He was still silent, but she suddenly felt the brush of his hand against the skin of her calf, and then her knee. Heero's warm fingers wrapped around her knee, gently massaging it, and then Heero looked back at Relena over his shoulder. His blue eyes were obscured by a much more powerful storm than the one that raged outside their windows. With his predatory gaze never leaving her eyes, he slid his hand up the top of her thigh so softly yet intensely enough that she got goosebumps again.

When he grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him, Relena dropped the scissors and slipped down the couch, landing on his lap and straddling him.

Gazing at her from behind the clearly shorter, though still handsome and picturesque fringe, Heero dipped his hand in her long hair, and pressing his hand to the back of her head, he brought her close until their lips joined together. With a silent moan, Relena opened her mouth, letting him in, surrendering entirely to his passionate kiss, which told more about this wild and rampant feeling between them than thousands of spoken and written words in all the most magnificent poems that humanity ever knew.

She closed her eyes and returned the rough kiss, moving even closer to him on his lap and sliding her hands over his shoulders and torso. Wet clothes clung to his body, so she grabbed the fabric of his shirt and pulled over his head. His skin was pleasantly warm, even hot to the touch as if it was warmed up with hot coals. Running her hands over his bruises and scars that she already knew by heart, Relena fervently kissed him again, pressing her body against his, as Heero locked his arms around her waist. Aligning her body with his, she felt his desire pulsing under her very soon, and she felt a familiar heat building up in her stomach. Then she felt Heero's hands sliding over her thighs, gently increasing pressure, up to her belly, where he slipped his hands under the material of her flannel shirt...

Realizing what was happening, Relena broke the kiss and deftly grabbed him by both hands, stopping him from further discovering her body. Her eyes shot open to meet Heero's gaze as he was looking back at her. In the depths of his blue eyes, she could already see the creeping consternation…

"Heero..." Relena sighed, releasing his hands and unbuttoned her flannel shirt from the top, exposing her breasts, but leaving the last buttons over her stomach.

The pregnancy eventually started reshaping her body. Her small breasts have now become fuller than ever. They also became much more sensitive to touch, almost painful... She had already noticed it, but breasts weren't a problem. She had discovered the subtle curves that appeared on her bosom, rounding her belly only slightly… but noticeably. During the day, she managed to hide it under her clothes, and keep her condition invisible to him. But without her clothes, it was so clearly outlined... that he could notice it.

Closing her eyes, Relena pressed his hands to her breasts, feeling relieved as Heero's fingers started squeezing them, and after a while, he bowed his face down to her, gently kissing and sucking her nipples. His every touch felt so sensible on her skin that it almost hurt.

Fumbling at the buttons of his pants, Relena released him and slowly, gently slid onto him. With a low, huskily sigh, Heero wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her closer to him, silently nestling his face against her chest. Then he froze, clinging to her like a helpless child, not uttering a single word, his chest thundering with an erratic heartbeat.

Relena sighed of pleasure, stilling in his firm embrace and with his throbbing desire deep inside her. She pressed his head to her, gently stroking the back of his neck. She realized the man she loved so much was harassed for so many years by his own demons. So fearless in the face of worst threats walking on this earth, this time, he couldn't find the strength to look up at her.

"I know, what you're so afraid of," she whispered with an airy voice, kissing the top of his head. She inhaled the rain-wet air, feeling the moisture settle on her neck and shoulders. "Don't… I won't turn into another one of your nightmares."

His body trembled under her touch, and she gently lifted his head up, keeping his face between her hands. When their eyes met, his eyes were smoldering, and his gaze was dimmed as if he was a lost man. Relena brushed his hard cheek with her thumb, feeling him flinch even at that gentle gesture.

"We made our promise, right?" she whispered without waiting for his answer and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. "No matter what happens… you won't lose me."

She bowed her head, kissing his lips tenderly and moving her hips. The wetness was still rising in the junction of their bodies, and soon she felt Heero placing his strong hands around her buttocks, controlling her slow, but passionate movements. Relena threw her head back, clenching her thighs around his hips and letting out a moan of pleasure as she felt him thrust inside her.

x

The rain was still beating against the roof of their hideout, a storm raged outside the window. The air inside the home was trembling, almost dense of the weather's humidity and their hot breaths. The couch in the center of the room was undoubtedly intended for one user, but it didn't bother them at all. They were laying together, their bodies entwined with each other, cooling off from their just burning lust.

Taking a deep breath, Relena parted her eyelids, and seeing the usual stark, thoughtful blueness of his eyes, she smiled.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Heero adjusted his head on the armrest of the couch, his eyes closely tracking her features, then slightly shook his head as if after a short consideration. "Nah… They're not worth a penny."

Relena sighed, though the smile never left her face. Still resting her head on his outstretched arm, she rolled onto her side and raised her hand, stroking his temple.

"Well… I have to say, Heero… That of all the places where we have been staying so far, this is my genuinely favorite."

"Is it?" he asked, his voice sounding genuinely surprised. "Why not Evergreen?"

Relena bit her lip and pondered. "Evergreen is… almost perfect. It's just too far away from the sea."

The thunder hit somewhere in the distance; the storm was slowly passing by. The atmosphere inside the house was thoroughly cozy, and Relena realized that she could stay in this place for the rest of her life; on this couch. With this man.

She gently brushed the hair back from his forehead. "I didn't think I'd ever been so happy. I didn't think it was still possible in this world," she whispered, caressing his cheek and the side of his neck.

Then the calm, blue surface of Heero's eyes trembled for the second time this evening, revealing an agitated hurricane of emotions raging in his heart. Relena learned all these months to read these small signals of his. She already recognized those fleeting moments when his feelings penetrated the barriers of his controlled mind and heart: a twitch of the corner of his mouth, a soft touch of his fingers, a shy flash in his eye...

Then he suddenly grabbed her hand in his, drawing it closer to his heart.

"All those times you kept asking me," he suddenly whispered, "why I didn't kill you that night when you were bitten."

Relena was silent, captivated by the stark look of his bottomless eyes. She allowed him to continue, squeezing back his hand, as she realized that he thought back to that night, full of shooting stars.

"If I had killed you then… an instant later, I would've put a bullet in my brain."

His eyes were evidence that he was dead serious. Relena gazed at him sadly, then opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, he broke in.

"Not because of pain. Because of self-loathing," Heero explained, brushing his thumb over Relena's cheek and then down over her almost invisible wound on the side of her neck. His pupils were quivering, he furrowed his eyebrows as if fighting for every word he spoke out loud. "I would've murdered the only good thing in my life with my own hands. I wouldn't have had any more right to live on after pulling the trigger on you."

Relena felt that she had to interfere. "It was me. I asked you to kill me, Heero. You would have done it out of mercy-"

"It would have been a mere execution that I had carried on a lot in my life, always telling myself the same thing, telling myself that it was for mercy… I didn't want to become this… again."

His low voice trembled, overload with emotions that he could hardly tame. Relena realized that all this time when he wasn't answering her question, he was trying to understand what happened to him that night. He couldn't understand and couldn't explain it either to himself either to her... until now.

It was simultaneously a shocking and beautiful moment.

"I left you alone in that cabin, waiting for you to turn, listening to every murmur or rustle that morning…" Heero's voice broke, he swallowed. "You could have suffered the transition, scream, tremble, lost control over your body, and I was unable to even to shorten your suffering. I hated myself for this paralysis, for this stalemate, which I couldn't breach. But then… when the next day you came out of the cabin, still alive and healthy… for the first time since I can remember, I felt hope."

She breathed a sigh of relief. It was worth waiting. She realized that if Heero had told her that he didn't kill her because he loved her, she wouldn't believe him. They surely went a long way before realizing their feelings.

"You saved me… in so many ways…" Heero whispered, kissing the top of her hand.

When he raised his gentle deep eyes on her, Relena felt tears well up in her eyes, but she wasn't going to stop them. She knew Heero would never t cry. She handled all right with the thought that she might cry for both of them.

She squeezed his hand back and smiled, though the first tear already ran down her cheek.

"…I think I owe you a penny, after all."

TBC

I did it. I have reached a point in a story that I call the beginning of the end. We're approaching Houston. Soon everything will be clear.

My dear readers, you have waited a long time for an update, I apologize for that. I had a lot of work on one-shot; the good news is that it will be published soon. Also, another idea for a story recently came to my mind, but don't be afraid - I will definitely finish this story first.

Stay healthy and safe,

~enelle