I'm loving your guesses at how this story might unfold... please keep them coming. Although I have a plan, I am writing this as we go along, so it could take any number of turns...

FIVE YEARS

Chapter 4

She's standing by the window, staring out across the hospital carpark, contemplating what the day is going to bring. It's only been twenty-four hours since she found out that she has no recollection of the last five years of her life, but as mind-blowing as it is to comprehend, she does now fully believe it. A look in the mirror and a thorough examination of her body in the privacy of the bathroom was enough to convince her that she's definitely different to how she remembers.

For starters, she can tell that she's considerably fitter and stronger than her twenty-year old self, with muscle-tone and definition to match. Charles has told her this has come from her discovering a passion for triathlon of all things. She'd apparently entered her first competition to win a drunken bet against their best man, a SF guy called Elvis, who is Charles' best friend from his Sandhurst days. She'd found she really enjoyed the challenge and has been competing ever since, recently even completing a half Ironman distance race. She's astonished at this, not least because she couldn't even swim in Afghanistan. Apparently she and Charles do lots of active pursuits together, and are now pretty evenly matched in running and cycling, but she struggles to keep up with his long legs when they're walking or hiking.

She's noticed that she's wearing her hair a bit shorter and has stopped biting her fingernails, a habit she's had since childhood. Generally, she just seems a bit more groomed than before. More intriguingly, she's also found a "new" tattoo near her hip, discretely hidden just below her pant line. One single, strange word, written in beautiful calligraphy. She realises it must be significant but doesn't feel ready to find out why quite yet. She's hoping she might remember.

Whilst she's a very long way from being ok with everything, she has at least stopped panicking. Once she'd had some time on her own to absorb the news, she'd quickly decided that there was no point in fighting the situation, and that she didn't really have too many options in terms of what to do next. She'd briefly considered going to stay with her parents, but quickly discounted that as an insane idea. Whilst she has no idea what their relationship is like these days, she cannot see how being with them is going to help her with her memory. If the past five years of her life have been spent with Charles, then it is clear to her that being with him is going to be key to her recovery. Having had that realisation, she'd then felt pretty awful for having shut him out in such a brutal way. As challenging as the situation undoubtedly is for her, it will be immensely difficult for him too, all be it in a different way.

In fact, Charles has been nothing but kind and patient with her, which although a bit unnerving given her memory of him, is actually going a long way to making her feel ready to confront her new reality. He'd asked her if she trusted him and she had been truthful in her reply…. she does trust him. Despite their rocky start on tour, she knows she feels safer with him than with any other man she has ever known in her life.

One thing she's learnt from her parents' relationship is that competing for 'who has it the worst' is a slippery slope and that couples are strongest when they work together, not against each other….. and there is no escaping the fact that she and Charles are in this together.

She's now eager to get outside, away from hospital and to begin the process of remembering and rebuilding her life.

He zips up the bag and places it on the hospital bed. He looks over at his wife, and for not the first time in their five years together, marvels at her amazing fortitude in the face of adversity and feels more than a little bit inadequate in comparison.

Twenty-four hours ago he was on the edge of despair at her reaction to his touch. After she'd rolled away from him, she'd made no further attempt to speak and eventually he'd admitted defeat and left her alone. He'd gone outside to get some fresh air and had wandered around aimlessly trying to work out what to do next. The possibility that maybe she'd decide she didn't want to be with him being too painful to fully consider. He'd resolved that he would have to be patient and exceedingly careful to take things at her pace. He'd finally realised just how bewildering the whole situation must be for her and that he couldn't take anything for granted.

When he'd eventually returned to her room later several hours later, he'd been astonished to find her sat up in bed, showered and clearly waiting for him. She'd apologised for shutting him out and had then proceeded to ask him some basic questions about where they lived and what leisure activities she enjoyed. They'd stayed on very safe topics and although it had been a surreal conversation, he'd been ridiculously buoyed by her engagement in finding out about their life together. When she'd told him she would like to go home with him, he had deployed Herculean self-restraint and completely suppressed his desire hug and hold onto her as as though his life depended upon it.

"Right, that's everything all packed. Are you ready Molly?"

She turns around, giving him a wry smile.

"As I'll ever be. Let's do this. Lead the way Captain James."

"Erm… actually it is Major James now."

"Oh, right…. Er… Congratulations?…. Well I guess I shouldn't be surprised, you were a great Captain."

"Well that's good of you to say Molly, but I didn't always feel it and I certainly wasn't great to you in the early days of that tour. I treated you very badly and it is something I'm still ashamed of, even though you have long-since forgiven me….. mind you, in the interests of full disclosure…. you do take great delight in reminding me on occasion, particularly when I'm being a cockwomble."

She giggles. She always finds that word, especially coming from his lips, highly amusing. In fact, it was that word which first got her into trouble with him on their first meeting on the tarmac at Brize Norton.

"Well, it helps that I'm not easily offended."

"That's true, you're not, but it is more than that. You're probably the most resilient person I know Molly. On that tour you constantly challenged me, made me think and re-engage my brain. You made me into the soldier I've become."

She's surprised by this admission and doesn't feel completely comfortable receiving such a sincere compliment.

"Right…. Well I'll have to take your word for that…seen as I can't remember. Next you'll be telling me that I'm a Lance-Corporal!"

She's pleased with her herself for lightening the conversation, until she clocks his expression.

"Well….. erm".

"Bleeding hell! You serious?"

"Actually Molly, you were a Lance-Corporal but you've just been promoted to Corporal. You're a fucking awesome leader."

"Oh."

He silently curses himself. He was going to take things slowly and has done the exact opposite. He knows, of course, that she still finds it difficult to accept a compliment. It's something he finds bloody infuriating, particularly when he is so incredibly proud of all her achievements.

"I'm sorry. Too much, too soon?"

"Nah… you're alright… it's just a bit… what's the word… overwhelming. I've never been very good at receiving compliments, guess that's something I'm gonna have to learn. I'm fine.. honestly. Please do tell me stuff… you know… good and bad about our life. Don't hold back. I want to remember. Let's just get home."

-OG-