FIVE YEARS
Chapter 7
He wakes up with one arm protectively cuddling her as she sleeps nestled in close to his chest, as is their normal sleeping position. He automatically kisses the top of her head before realising what he's just done.
He reluctantly starts to roll away from her before she wakes up. He has absolutely no intention of spoiling things now and knows that if he doesn't extract himself from the embrace quickly then his body is going to exposure his, up until now, carefully suppressed desire.
Her asking to share a bed with him had been totally unexpected; something he'd not dared to imagine might happen so soon, if indeed at all. Even so, he'd been careful to give her plenty of space; there had been a good foot or two of mattress between them when they had awkwardly climbed into their respective sides of the bed. There hadn't been any further conversation and judging by the change in tempo of her breathing and quiet snores, she'd drifted off to sleep soon afterwards. He'd lain watching her for a while before he had finally succumbed to his own exhaustion. He must have slept like a log because he has absolutely no recollection of them coming together in the night.
He drags himself out of bed and heads to the bathroom in need of a long, cold shower.
-OG-
She is abruptly awoken by the sound of a piercing alarm. It only takes her a brief moment to remember where she is and to realise that he is gone from their bed.
She smells the unmistakeable aroma of burnt toast and can hear him swearing downstairs. The alarm is quickly silenced and she pulls herself up into a sitting position, gathering the duvet around her in a cosy cocoon. She smirks to herself; there is no mistaking that there is something very familiar about this moment.
She yawns and stretches, not feeling entirely refreshed after what was a fairly broken nights' sleep full of vivid dreams inspired, she supposes, by the stories he had told her of their time in Afghan.
After what must only have been a couple of hours sleep, she'd awoken from a particularly terrifying dream which had ended with him being shot and bleeding out in her arms. She'd found herself unable to settle, her mind whirring, willing herself to remember something more cheerful about their life together. She'd lain watching him sleep, still somewhat surprised that she'd had the guts to ask him to join her in the first place, but savouring the experience of being with him all the same. At some point, in the early hours of the morning, she'd had the idea that maybe trying to recreate the happy memory of being held by him might help and she had cautiously sidled towards him. She'd been slightly startled when he'd reached out, still seemingly fast asleep, and pulled her in closer. She'd quickly relaxed and settled into this ostensibly new, but unmistakably familiar position.
-OG-
She pushes open the door to the kitchen and checks that he's not engaged in any dangerous knife related activity.
"So, do I need to get that first aid kit out again?"
He turns around, face full of apology.
"Oh, shit, I woke you. I'm sorry."
She smiles at him and takes up a seat at the island.
"Don't worry."
He turns away from her, picks up a tray, leans over the island and presents it to her.
"This was supposed to be a surprise… breakfast in bed….., tea, scrambled eggs, smoked salmon, not-burnt toast and a bowl of ….. Coco-pops."
"Blimey, do I still eat those?! Well, it all looks amazing…. thank you."
Despite feeling ravenous, she waits patiently, watching him intently, whilst he quickly serves himself a plate of food, before settling into the stool next to her.
He nods at her, by way of thanks and to encourage her to eat. He is rewarded with another smile and is delighted as she holds his gaze.
She's thrilled and a little mystified by this moment between them, eventually breaking the tension.
"What?"
He lets out one of his funny, amused, snorts.
"Nothing…. morning, by the way."
She gives him one her shy, but dazzling smiles, which instantly warms and encourages his anxious heart.
"Morning, Charles."
There's a comfortable silence between them as they tuck-in to their food.
"I know you probably don't believe me based on recent efforts, but I am actually quite a good cook…. You've said so many times… I don't think you've just been massaging my ego."
She pauses, her mouth full, a little surprised to detect a lack of confidence in his voice. She quickly swallows down the food.
"Nah, I make you right. This is bleeding delicious. I don't think I've been telling you porkies…"
-OG-
He's sat with his laptop and some newspapers, at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of coffee. He's had a productive time whilst she's been upstairs getting ready. He's caught up with what's been going on in the world, and at the Regiment in his absence. He's sent a few emails, updating their close friends and family on her progress and most importantly finalised a two-week period of leave with the Brigadier, effective immediately. He looks up as she enters the room.
"Is that better?"
"Yes, nothing like a slap-up breakfast and a soak in the tub to make a girl feel human again."
He closes down the laptop and gives her a once-over, taking in her much-improved appearance.
"Well, you definitely look …. human."
She gives him a playful grin.
"What, as opposed to …. inhuman…?"
He laughs at her jibe, wondering if she even knows that there is a familiar theme to this taunt.
"No, I just meant….. actually, not sure what I meant or that I'm going to come out of this well, so I'm just going to stop there…."
He clears away his laptop, stands up and indicates for her take his seat at the table.
"Here, why don't you sit down, maybe have a read of the papers? I'll make you a cuppa?"
"Nah, it's ok, I can make a cuppa."
"I don't mind."
There's something about his fussing, however well-meaning she knows it is, that sparks an irrational feeling of irritation in her.
"I said I can do it."
He immediately picks up the annoyance in her voice.
"Oh, ok, of-course you can. Sorry."
He leans against the table and watches as she heads over to the kettle, checks it and flicks the switch. He doesn't miss the hesitation as she looks at the cupboards, clearly trying to work out where the mugs and teabags are kept. He resists the temptation to get involved, instinctively knowing that her trademark independent and sometimes fierce spirit will not welcome his interference at this point. She swears as she makes the wrong cupboard choice and he can hear her muttering under her breath.
He waits until she has completed her task and joins him at the table before tentatively speaking.
"So, what would you like to do today?... I thought we could look at some photos, maybe Facetime with your parents later?"
She feels bad for her earlier irritation. She knows that he is trying to help and doesn't deserve her rudeness. It's just bleeding frustrating to not remember something as trivial as where the bloody teabags live. If she can't remember that how is she going to remember the important stuff? She attempts some wry humour, by way of an apology.
"Steady-on soldier, I know you said I get on better with them these days, but I'm not sure I'm quite ready for that yet, maybe later."
He's relieved she appears to have regained some of her good mood.
"Ok, but they are desperate to speak to you Molly, they've been worried sick since the accident."
"Alright, alright. I said I'm not ready for that yet."
He chastises himself for pushing her, remembering too late what Colonel Thomas had said about taking things slowly and some resistance and frustration being expected.
"Oh, ok."
"I thought we could go out for a walk?"
"I'm not sure whether that's a good idea .… you're supposed to be taking it easy."
He watches her eyes blaze and her face harden and he has the distinct impression he's about to get both barrels.
"I think I know what I'm capable of better than you. I'm not suggesting we do anything extreme, just a gentle walk. I've been cooped up inside hospital for days. You asked me what I'd like to do. Well, what I would like to do is get out of this fucking house, get some fucking fresh air and get some fucking exercise."
Although he tries hard to mask it, she can see the hurt on his face and his body visibly recoil at her sharp words.
"Oh, of course, sorry… I didn't mean to upset you Molly."
She immediately regrets her outburst at the one person who has not only shown her nothing but kindness and compassion, but also clearly only has her best interests at heart and is also suffering as a result of this shitty situation.
"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I know you're looking out for me…. and that this isn't easy for you either."
"I make you right there, Molly. I'm sorry for fussing, I know you're more than capable. I just wish I could make everything better, back to how it was."
"Well, sometimes life ain't like that but we're in this together, aren't we? We just need to be honest with each other about how we're feeling, ok?..."
"Ok…. but if we're being honest about how are feeling, can I say something?"
"Yes, of course."
"I could really fucking do with a hug right now."
She closes the distance between them, slipping her arms around his waist and snuggles deeply into his chest. She can feel his heart beating rapidly as he closes him arms around her body, bends his head down and rests his chin on the top of her head. She breathes in his scent for a few moments, adoring the feeling of being in his arms once again.
Eventually, she carefully pushes back.
"So about that walk… I was thinking that maybe we could we go somewhere we normally like to go? It might help me remember."
He regretfully releases his hold on her.
"That's a great idea Molly….. I know just the place."
-OG-