FIVE YEARS
Chapter 9
The terrain has changed from fields to open heath land and they've been steadily gaining height.
He comes to a stop just before the crest of the slope.
"Right, we're nearly there. You need to close your eyes."
"What? I'm not closing my eyes. I'll trip or fall off a cliff or something!"
"I don't know where you think you are Dawesy, but this is Surrey, famously not many cliffs around here."
"Alright. Fair point."
"I'll guide you, it's only for a few metres… I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I promise you it will be worth it."
She closes her eyes and he takes her arm and walks her on a bit further before bringing her to a standstill.
"Ok, you can open your eyes now."
She opens her eyes and takes in the spectacular landscape in front of her. After a little while she speaks.
"The Devil's Punchbowl."
He's both surprised and pleased at her knowledge, being pretty certain that she had never visited before he'd introduced it to her when they'd started seeing each other.
"Yes…. You remember?"
"I don't know how, but I do. I know I have been here before – this view is…. unforgettable."
"You've always loved it here. We often do a circular hike around the bowl… maybe not today though."
"I think that might be a bit ambitious, but maybe we could stop here for a while before heading back. It's such a lovely day."
"Of course we can."
She smiles at him and sits down on the ground, hugging her knees to her chest, taking in the view. He settles beside her.
"You know, there is some significance to this particular spot."
"What's that?"
"Well, it was February - one of those beautiful winters' days – sun and blue sky, but bitterly cold. You'd just returned from your third Afghan tour, training ANA medics, which I don't mind telling you was the longest six months of my life. I found out I'm not very good at being the one left behind. Anyway, we came up here the day after you got back and you said you'd been thinking whilst away."
She looks at him, smiling.
"That sounds dangerous!"
He returns her smile.
"That's what I said."
He pauses, remembering the moment as clear as if it was yesterday.
"You stood in front of me, pretty much exactly where we are now, and told me that you'd grown quite fond of me and that you'd been thinking that perhaps we should get married."
She looks stunned at his latest revelation.
"I proposed to you?"
"Yep, made me the happiest man alive …. if somewhat took the wind out of my sails."
"What do you mean?"
"Well I too had been thinking whilst you were away. Also dangerous. I'd planned a big surprise romantic weekend away, and was going to ask you to marry me."
"Really?"
"Yes, but you beat me to it and to be honest, your proposal was perfect - simple and honest … mine would have been over the top and too much…. I have a tendency to do that."
"I'm sorry I ruined your plans…"
"Far from it… I'd known I wanted to marry you for a very long time. When I'd told you, in that compound in Afghan just before I got shot, that you were the last thing I wanted to see, I'd meant it. The connection I felt to you from early on in our relationship was so much stronger and deeper than I had ever had to anyone previously… made me realise that I'd never been in love before. The more we got to know each other, the more you invited me into your life, the more you accepted me and my baggage, the more I knew we were destined to be together. But, I was conscious you were still young, still figuring out what you wanted from life, your career. I didn't want to stifle you or scare you off. I was prepared to wait out."
"Seems like you've done a lot of waiting out."
"I make you right there."
"And here we are …. And you're having to do it again."
"Yes, but this is different. I don't want to rush things, take anything for granted."
"I know that. Thank you for being patient with me."
She falls silent, deep in her own thoughts.
He takes the opportunity to lie-back, close his eyes and enjoy the heat of the sun on his face. Although he is cautious about reading too much into their conversations, he can't help but feel hugely encouraged by how things are going so far. He knows there are still some big things he needs to tell her, but he has a feeling of calmness which has been missing since the accident. He is dozing off when she speaks.
"Did we kiss?"
He wonders at first if he has dreamt the question. He sits up, alert and turns to face her.
"Sorry?"
"Did we kiss?"
"When?"
"In the compound in Afghan."
He recalls their first forbidden kiss and smiles.
"Yes, it was only brief, 2-Section were next door and we were about to leave to ID Badrai, but yes we did."
"Did we kiss here?…. When I proposed?"
He grins at her, remembering a more passionate and lengthy exchange.
"Yes, we did. Not so briefly, if I remember rightly. No 2-Section and no mission."
She nods and considers what he's told her. She can tell from his expression that he's perplexed by her line of questioning. Although she can't remember the details of the things he's told her, she feels an unquestionable sense of connection to him which she is sure is going to be key to unlocking her memories. She makes up her mind and speaks.
"I'd like you to kiss me."
She registers his initial look of surprise at her request, and watches as his expression quickly becomes serious. As he focuses his gaze on her, she feels the full intensity of his desire. He shifts himself closer, reaches towards her, carefully cups her face with his hands and gently strokes her cheeks with his thumbs. She instinctively leans into his hands, increasing the feeling of connection and closes her eyes as his lips find hers. As she tentatively responds to the kiss, she is flooded with feelings of familiarity as every part of her body craves for his touch. As he deepens the kiss, her hands find the back of his head and she runs her hands through his hair, pulling him physically closer but also fusing the invisible bond that binds them together.