Just For Practice:
Chapter 4
Seven of Nine's response hit Janeway like a Galaxy-class starship going Warp 9.8. Utterly shocked, Janeway quickly turned around to look at her Astrometrics Officer. Her brow raised and her eyes like blue saucers, she took a few steps forward and came to a halt just short of the stairs, placing a free hand on the railing.
"Attempted?" the older woman repeated curiously, her voice husky.
"Correct," was all Seven managed, feeling herself beginning to squirm under Janeway's piercing gaze.
"As I recall, you said you didn't require a romantic relationship," Janeway teased, a shade of something else present in her tone, "what made you change your mind?"
Seven's facial expression seemed borderline accusational. "Our conversation prior to your departure yesterday morning," she said flatly, "you made it clear that I should try it for myself, considering how much effort I was putting into my research."
Her mouth slightly agape with realization, Janeway nodded and a faint but crooked smile crept across her face. "Theory is all good and well, but it can be a great deal different than the actual practice," Janeway said dryly, shifting her weight from one foot to the other as she spoke, "romance is something you have to experience for yourself, because it's different for every individual. If romance were universal for everyone, there would be no challenge to it and it would cheapen the experience."
Even though Seven understood what Captain Janeway was saying on a fundamental level, she still very much resented being coaxed by both the Doctor and the Captain into pursuing the practical application of romance rather than remain an observer, studying the theory of it from a comfortable distance where she could maintain her objectivity.
Lacking a suitable response and honestly loath to think of one, Seven merely inclined her head in acknowledgement.
The Captain's smile grew, reaching her eyes now mottled with hints of grey. "Care to elaborate on this 'attempt'? How did it go?"
If Seven was reluctant to talk to the Doctor about the previous evening, it was nowhere near how she felt now. There on the upper section of the Ready Room stood the petite frame of a woman that Seven greatly respected, even admired in ways she didn't fully comprehend, asking her to reveal something she considered as an imperfection. An ugly stain on her efforts to understand the idiosyncrasies of humanity, her own humanity.
Her imperfection made her feel weak. Vulnerable. It reminded her of when she was first severed from the Collective. Weak and vulnerable, exposed to a certain red headed starship captain while imprisoned in Voyager's brig. Although Janeway tried to console the newly independent drone, albeit awkwardly, Seven hated that feeling and aspired never to appear weak and vulnerable again. Especially to Janeway, even more so now that she looked up to the remarkable older woman.
What could Seven really do at this point? Much like Tom Paris earlier in Sick Bay, the captain of Voyager would eventually come to hear about the date, regardless of whether Seven kept it to herself or not. Of this, Seven had very little doubt. A lump settled in her throat. She instinctively swallowed, hoping that Janeway didn't take notice of it and was met with dry resistance. She swallowed again, a bit more forcefully this time before speaking.
"I had arranged a date with Lieutenant Chapman in the holodeck," Seven said, helpless to stop the heat from rising in her cheeks, "and the date was...unsuccessful."
Driven by sympathy and a slightly guilty desire to pry further, Janeway briskly climbed down the steps, placing her mug on the desk before settling into the empty chair next to the blonde.
"Oh Seven, I'm sorry to hear that," she said ruefully, eyes glistening with concern, "can I ask what happened?"
Unlike her discussion with the Doctor, Seven had not been afforded any time to adequately prepare for this, nor did she expect Captain Janeway to show anything more than a mild interest in her social endeavors as she usually did.
Her mind still consumed by a tempest of emotions, Seven recounted the events of her date for the second time that morning. Completely absorbed, Janeway leaned forward in her chair with her hand tucked under her chin and listened attentively. Despite her ability to recall every detail of the date from eidetic memory without the need to pause, Seven struggled, finding it somewhat challenging to maintain her train of thought while she held Janeway's gaze. Those eyes that were so intensely fixated on Seven had a wondrous tendency to change color. To Seven's amazement, they were now a darker shade of blue, like she was peering into two resplendent pools of deep ocean water.
Suddenly, Janeway covered her mouth, trying very hard to stifle her laughter when she heard that Seven nearly tore the Lieutenant's shoulder out of socket mid dance. Out of all the things to get injured from, especially after the many dangers they had to face over the years in the Delta Quadrant, this was perhaps one of the most comical causes of injury Janeway had ever heard of.
Though admittedly still lacking in her ability to recognize certain human behaviors, Seven could plainly see that the Captain was nearly in fits. A muscle in Seven's neck visibly tensed under her moon-kissed skin as she tilted her head down, eyeing the older woman.
"You find this amusing?" she asked cooly.
The feeble barrier Janeway erected to contain her laughter fell so easily. She threw her head back and released a long, throaty laugh that resonated throughout Seven's body, causing the hair on her arms and the back of her neck to stand up. In an attempt to be diplomatic, Janeway placatingly raised up a hand as she tried to regain her composure, failing miserably when she pictured the strong and tall ex-Borg trying to twirl the poor Lieutenant.
Bristling, Seven's jaw clenched, causing her starburst-like implant to ripple slightly. She scowled at the redhead sitting in front of her laughing, quite literally adding insult to injury. Seven fiercely regretted missing her window of opportunity to escape when she had the chance. At least the Doctor and Lieutenant Paris, especially Paris of all people, had the decency not to laugh about it.
Acutely aware that Seven was irritated with her, without even thinking, Janeway reached out and grasped Seven's hand, causing the former drone to stiffen at the sudden soft warmth that covered the back of her hand. Seven resisted the urge to glance down when a familiar tingling sensation proliferated her human hand.
"I'm so sorry," the Captain managed to say, her mirth subsiding to quiet giggles, "I shouldn't be laughing but it is pretty funny in an embarrassing sort of way."
Unfortunately, Janeway's apology did little to lessen the severity of Seven's scowl. Even Janeway's touch, as warm and as soothing as it was could not melt that icy stare.
"I really am sorry," Janeway tried again, squeezing Seven's hand and imbuing as much sincerity as she could, "the truth is, we've all experienced embarrassment during a date. Some more than others, and some incidents worse than what you've experienced."
Having a little more success this time, Seven's edges began to soften.
"Lieutenant Paris had also said something to that effect."
An odd feeling in the pit of her stomach, Janeway removed her hand and slowly crossed her arms over her chest, leaning against the back of the chair.
"You've talked to Paris about this as well?" she asked, her brows knitted.
"Yes, this morning in Sick Bay before you contacted me over the com. I was talking to the Doctor and Lieutenant Paris overheard our conversation," Seven replied, "he interjected and attempted to console me with his own 'bad date' anecdote."
"I see," Janeway drawled, the strange sensation in her stomach subsiding only a little. The Doctor was Seven's self-appointed mentor after all, naturally she would tell him about her date, and Tom just happened to be there for a duty shift. "So then what are your next steps?"
"I have decided to terminate my research," Seven said a little too forcefully.
The Captain failed to bite back the hearty chuckle that escaped her. The younger woman simply sat there, completely straight-faced and unable to find the humor in her statement.
"Oh Seven, you shouldn't give up just because you had a bad date," Janeway exclaimed, smirking.
"I shouldn't?" Seven repeated, quirking an eyebrow, "romance ultimately seems irrelevant."
Janeway uncrossed her arms, breathing in deeply and looking very seriously at Seven.
"Romance is a part of being human. For most it's an essential part," she explained, elegantly gesturing with her hands, "we humans require companionship as much as we require food and water. We are driven by the need for companionship, to connect with someone, not just physically but emotionally."
Well known among her crew for communicating through contact, Janeway leaned forward and lightly touched Seven's knee, "You might think it irrelevant now, but as your humanity continues to resurface, I think you will find that even you are not immune to that need."
Mystified, Seven watched as Janeway pulled back after she had finished her rhetoric. On how many separate occasions did Janeway make physical contact now? Three times? No, it had to have been four times if Seven counted the time Janeway accidentally brushed her fingers when she took the PADD from her earlier.
"Perhaps," Seven capitulated, "but the truth of the matter is, I do not wish to go through another date. To say that the date last night was an unpleasant experience is an understatement."
Furrowing her brow, Janeway hummed to herself and reminisced for a moment, scanning her own experiences of dating and romance for any further advice she could impart to Seven. Bittersweet feelings suffused Janeway's heart as memories of her first few dates came to the forefront of her mind. They weren't exactly successful, and she wasn't too keen on admitting that to Seven. Not yet anyway. She did however remember a time when an old girlfriend of hers offered to teach her some valuable pointers when they went out to dinner one pointers ended up being a substantial help to a young Kathryn and her future dates. At that moment, an idea dawned on her and her face broke out into an excited grin.
"Have you considered going on a practice date?" Janeway suggested brightly.
"No, please explain," the blonde replied, intrigued.
"Simply put, you go on a date but with a close friend," said Janeway, her eyes twinkling, "that way you can practice with them as if you were on a real date. Does that make sense?"
Seven nodded, genuinely drawn in by the idea.
"Your suggestion does have merit, however I am uncertain as to what friend I should ask to assist me," said Seven, raising her ocular implant.
"The Doctor? Or Lieutenant Paris maybe?" Janeway offered optimistically.
Suppressing a grimace at the thought of going on a practice date with the Doctor, the ex-Borg quickly shook her head. She could barely handle him in small doses as it was. She was also not particularly fond of asking the mate of the temperamental chief engineer either. After Seven had severely angered B'elanna the previous morning with her studies, nearly resulting in an all out battle royale between the two women, that prospect was looking pretty bleak.
"No, I would rather not ask either individual," she said in that cool tone, "I would not be comfortable with them."
"I see," the redhead murmured delicately.
Seven never really talked about it, but Janeway was painfully aware that the former Borg didn't have very many people on board Voyager that she considered to be friends. Although they were polite and courteous, most of the crew gave the former drone a wide berth. As despicable as their behavior was, it was also somewhat understandable. Seven of Nine wasn't exactly the easiest person to get along with. They didn't call her the 'ice queen' for nothing. The title was well earned.
Realizing that Seven only had one other person she could potentially ask, who just so happened to be sitting across from Seven at this very moment, Captain Janeway hesitantly bit her bottom lip. Trapped between her desire to help a valued member of her crew and the need to keep a professional distance, she wrung her hands, the act of it embodying her grapple with her inner thoughts. Come now Katie, a little voice within her reasoned, after giving her that speech about romance you should at least offer to help. It's just a practice date, nothing more.
Taking the Captain's silence as a signal that their conversation had possibly, hopefully, come to an end, Seven awkwardly stood from her chair.
"I appreciate your advice and insight. However, I believe I will simply continue my research from a strictly theoretical standpoint. May I be dismissed?"
Deeply conflicted only a moment ago, Kathryn Janeway easily made her decision as she gazed up at her golden haired officer. Following suit, she rose from her chair, her greyish blue eyes never leaving Seven's.
"Seven," Janeway said softly, suddenly feeling self conscious, "if you're comfortable with it, I'd be happy to go on a practice date with you."