as·phyx·i·a·tion

noun

The state or process of being deprived of oxygen, which can result in unconsciousness or death; suffocation.

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Please note that this story is written entirely in Killua's POV.

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Love can kill.

It's that simple.

Most people see love as an innocent, harmless thing that can be shared with one another. But it's anything but innocent and harmless.

How does that old Psalm go? Love is patient, love is kind? That may be true.

But love is also merciless. Love is also cruel.

I know all these things because I fell in love once. And that love turned around and tried to kill me. I'm not kidding. You can laugh if you want, but I know what happened.

If I hadn't fallen in love, I wouldn't have come within a hair's breadth of death.

How do I know that, you might be wondering.

Well, I got Hanahaki disease.

For those of you who don't know, Hanahaki is a deadly illness caused only by one-sided love. It causes flowers to take root and bloom in the victim's lungs. The victim begins coughing up flower petals and blood, and by the end of two or three months, they'll be throwing up entire flowers and waterfalls of blood.

The only cure is for the victim's love to be reciprocated. It is also possible to surgically remove the flowers, but that's a route many people refuse taking because the end result is losing your feelings for the person you're in love with. In some extreme cases, you might even forget about them altogether and lose your ability to fall in love with anyone ever again.

If the victim's love is not reciprocated and the flowers aren't surgically removed, they will continue to grow until they've completely blocked up the victim's lungs and windpipe, resulting in suffocation. So basically, if the disease isn't cured within a certain time frame, you'll die choking on flowers. Nice, right?

Well, that's exactly what happened to me. I still find it difficult to believe that the love I felt for my best friend was the reason I was dying. And he had no idea at first. He was completely oblivious to the fact that he was killing me. The fact we were friends and nothing more was killing me.

My name is Killua Zoldyck, and this is the story of how I discovered how beautiful and deadly love can be.

-

"Ne, Killua!"

I sighed heavily and cracked one eye open to glare at Gon. "What? What now?"

"How come I beat you so easily this time, huh?" he had the nerve to poke my cheek with one finger. I grimaced, biting back the urge to swat his hand away. "Usually you're much stronger than me. So how come?"

"Meh. Wasn't really feeling it today." I shrugged and clasped my hands behind my head, allowing my eyes to drift shut again.

I was hoping to catch a quick nap between our sparring matches and our individual workout sessions. Gon and I allowed ourselves an hour break between sparring and working out, and I was pretty exhausted because he had beat me a grand total of six times. But it seemed he had other ideas today, because he poked me again.

"Is Killua feeling sick?" Gon questioned.

I groaned and shifted, trying to put some space between him and myself. "Gon, I'm fine. Leave me be. I wanna sleep."

"Mmm... No. I wanna know what's wrong." Gon siddled closer and tilted his head to one side, resting it against my shoulder. Even with my eyes closed, I could feel the wide-eyed look of concern he was giving me. "Tell me. I won't leave you alone until you tell me."

I tried to ignore him, pretending to be asleep. The weight of his head against my shoulder kept me from relaxing, though. I could feel the warmth of his skin pressed up against my side. I wished he wasn't such a touchy-feely person. I knew that he meant no harm, but sometimes it was very... Tantalizing, as if he were trying to taunt me with the fact I had a bit of an embarrassing crush on him that he didn't know about and probably never would.

Gon stared at me for a second before getting impatient. "Ne, Killua. Stop ignoring me. Killuaaaaaa." he poked me again, except on the ribs this time. "I know you're ticklish. If you doesn't respond, I will tickle you until you do."

"Oh my god, fine!" I exclaimed, freeing my hands from behind my head so I could smack his arm as revenge for all the poking. "I'm not feeling so good, Gon. No, I'm not sick, I'm just having a bad day. It's not a big deal. Happy?"

Gon blinked at me with those big, rounded brown eyes of his, clearly unimpressed by my little outburst. "...Indubitably." he finally said.

I growled and turned so my back was facing him, drawing my knees up to my chest and propping my chin up on them. I was making a huge show of ignoring him.

"Is Killua upset with me now?" Gon giggled and reached out, placing his hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to annoy you." he said, sincerely.

"'S alright." I mumbled, wrapping my arms around my legs and hugging them to my chest. "Just don't do it again, okay."

"Awwww." Gon plunked his forehead down on my back and pretended to pout. "You're so mean! You know I can't agree to something like that!"

"Unfortunately for you, I am not in a nice person mood. Go away and let me take a nap. I'm tired." I tried to shrug him off, but the damn kid wouldn't budge. "Gon, seriously. Go away."

"No. Just for that, I'm not going anywhere. You're gonna have to put up with me."

"Well, I'm going to sleep. So keep your mouth shut."

"Fine, I got it. Get some rest. I'll be quiet, I promise."

Satisfied, I nudged Gon away from my back so I could stretch out across the grass. It was a sunny day, the sky was a vibrant blue color and the hot, white sun beat down hard on the field Gon and I were currently using for our training activities. Fortunately, there was a massive sakura tree bang splat in the middle of the tall, lime-colored grass. Its massive, dark boughs created a ring of shade that protected Gon and I from the intense heat of the summer sun during our break.

Ever since I had woken up that morning, I had been plagued by a weird sort of ache in my chest. It wasn't bad at all. In fact, I didn't notice it at all until Gon and I had started training. It was like a strange, burning sensation in my lungs whenever I breathed in, as if the air I took in was so hot it scorched my insides.

I figured I was just having an off day, though. Things like this happen to people all the time, right?

Some sleep should fix me right up...

"Killua's so pale." Gon suddenly blurted, right as I was beginning to nod off. "Are you sure you'll be okay working out in this heat?"

I didn't even bother opening my eyes this time. "Gon. You promised you'd be quiet. I mean no offense, but please just shut up."

"Right, sorry." Gon jumped a little, as if he'd forgotten entirely that he was supposed to be quiet.

A beautiful silence settled over the field, broken only by the birds calling to one another as they went on about their business, as well as the emerald leaves of the sakura tree rustling and scraping against each other.

Once again, I started slowly succumbing to the drowsiness that came with lying in the soft grass on a hot afternoon. I was in that weird, delusional phase that was somewhere between sleeping and waking, halfway in a dream but still fully grounded in reality, when Gon spoke again.

"Ne, Killua? Maybe you should skip out on training for the rest of the day?"

I hissed in frustration and rolled onto my back so I could kick Gon in the stomach. "Shut up. Shut. Up."

"Right, right, sorry." Gon obediently fell silent. A grand total of thirty seconds passed before I heard from him again. "But I really don't think you should be working when you're not feeling well and it's so hot-"

"Alright, that's it." I snapped, springing to my feet and storming back out into the sun. "Break's over. We're getting back to work now."

Gon sighed and shook his head. "Whatever you say..." he slowly pushed himself upright and followed me. "I still think you should call it a day and go get some rest, though. Kurapika and Leorio are back at the hotel, so you wouldn't be lonely or anything, if that's what you're worried about."

"Tch." I rolled my eyes. Gon was so very naive that I occasionally found myself wondering how he had made it this far as a Hunter. "That's perhaps the furthest thing from my mind right now, Gon. I don't get lonely." I told him.

"Then why won't you just go inside and relax for the rest of the day?"

"Because I don't feel like it. I'm not a whimp."

"Fine, then."

We went off our seperate ways, seeing as we had to train individually now that we'd completed our sparring routine. Well... I guess that's only if moving to opposite sides of a fairly small field counts as going our seperate ways. I could still see Gon as a little tan and green dot with a speck of fuzzy black where his hair would be at the other side of the field, completing a set of jumping jacks.

He was probably a little upset with me, but I didn't particularly care at the moment. He'd get over it, it wasn't that big of a deal. We weren't even fighting, it had just been a tense conversation. We had disagreed with each other on what the best course of action would be. That happens sometimes, even between the very best of friends.

Several hours later, when the air had drastically cooled off and the sun was beginning to dip into the Western horizon, I finally allowed myself to stop training. By this time, my white tank top and black shorts were drenched in sweat and I was breathing heavily. I had completely forgotten about the strange pain in my lungs thanks to the grueling training routine I put myself through, so when Gon and I reunited to walk back to the hotel together, I was in a much better mood.

Gon seemed to be a lot happier too, he didn't bring up our previous disagreement at all.

"Killua worked so hard today." Gon praised, as we neared the large hotel building. "I wish I could be as strong and stubborn as you."

I was eyeing the crowded street on my left side warily, wincing a little whenever a vehicle of some sort sped by. I had always hated cities, especially large ones like the one we were currently staying in for our mission. They were too big and loud and full of noisy people. I found it all very intimidating, to be completely honest. That was why I preferred training outside in secluded, uncrowded areas.

"I'm... I'm nothing special." I said slowly, stuffing my hands in the front pockets of my shorts. "If you keep training the way you have been, you'll surpass me. Easily."

"You really think so?" Gon's eyes absolutely lit up with childish excitement.

"I do." I smiled a little and nodded a couple times.

Sometimes I wished I could be as naive and carefree as Gon. But my hands were stained with the blood of countless bodies, bodies that had once had beating hearts until I came along and ripped them out with my bare hands. And, for every heart I removed, I lost a little piece of my own. I would never get my innocence back.

Gon let out a happy squeal and latched onto my arm, hugging it so tightly I immediately lost all blood circulation in that limb. "I'd love to be as strong as you, Killua! You're amazing!"

I gave him a couple friendly pats on the head with my free hand before gently shaking him off. "Keep up the good work, okay? You're already incredibly talented as you are, Gon. I don't think I'm better than you in any way, shape or form." I told him.

He beamed like a little ray of sunshine for the rest of the night.

-

Leorio and Kurapika didn't have much to say when Gon and I returned to our hotel room. They just reminded us of the mission we had to start in two days' time. We were charged with hunting down a wanted criminal that was known for jumping people, beating them until they were nearly dead and lying in a puddle of their own blood, taking anything of value they had on them, and running away with it. Most of his victims died after lingering in the hospital for a couple days. Those who did survive had suffered head trauma so severe that they either couldn't remember the incident at all, or were completely incapable of speech.

The criminal's name was Shenka Riyoshi, and he was the most dangerous man in this city.

After studying Shenka's criminal file for a couple minutes, I stripped out of my sweat-soaked training clothes and took a shower before slipping into a loose-fitting T-shirt and a clean pair of black shorts. Now that I was clean and dressed comfortably, I could finally get some sleep.

I wandered into the bedroom I had designated as mine when we first arrived at the hotel. It was decorated simply enough, with pastel yellow walls and a wooden floor that was always cold to the touch. There was a window along the left wall that allowed filtered, silvery moonlight to spill out onto the floor, illuminating the lower half of the double bed up against the front wall. The bed had simple white sheets and a big grey blanket, along with two overstuffed pillows.

Seems comfortable enough... I shrugged and curled up in the bed without hesitation. I was too worn out to find any reasons to despise my current lodging situation.

I fell asleep almost instantly, thinking everything was right with the world. But boy, was I wrong, because the next morning would change my life forever.

-

I knew something was wrong the moment I woke up, thanks to the dreadful aching in my chest.

It wasn't a normal ache, either. It was a deep, throbbing, burning sensation, as if my lungs were bruised and on fire at the same time. I found it quite difficult to breathe, because inhaling caused the pain to flare up so badly it was comparable to being stabbed in the lung with a white-hot dagger.

I winced and slowly sat up, rubbing at my chest with my left hand. It wasn't tender, my touch didn't make it hurt any worse. So it wasn't soreness from the brutal training regiment I had completed yesterday. But if it wasn't an external injury of some sort... What was it?

I swung my legs over the side of the bed so I could stand up, sliding off the sheets and standing up straight as soon as my bare feet touched the cold, wooden floor.

The moment I was upright, my stomach turned and I was overcome by vertigo. It felt like the room was spinning, swaying from side to side like a ship being tossed around by rough seas. For a second, I thought I was going to throw up, what with the way my stomach was churning.

Whoa.

I swayed and stumbled forward a single step, trying to regain my balance.

What is going on with me?

Maybe I was sick with the flu. Maybe it was something else. I considered spending today in bed, but decided against it. I needed to train. Mysterious illness or not, I had to keep working. Besides, maybe I wasn't sick at all. Maybe I was just really feeling yesterday's intense workout.

But then suddenly a feeling unlike anything I've ever felt before hit me like a freight train. It was a burning, itching sensation in my throat, as if something that wasn't supposed to be there had gotten stuck in my esophagus.

I began to cough violently, doubling over and clutching at my throat as the intense burning sensation became ten times worse. I covered my mouth with one hand to muffle my uncontrollable coughing fit, fearful that my companions in the other rooms would hear me, and continued to claw at my throat with my free hand. My fingernails dug into the soft, pale flesh of my neck, creating long red lines that faded quickly, as if they'd never been there at all. The aching in my chest was much more prominent now, aggravated by the shuddering coughs wracking my entire body.

After coughing and hacking uncontrollably for at least two minutes straight, I felt something cold and soft slide past my tongue and spill out onto my hand. The sharp, metallic taste of blood filled my mouth, overwhelming me and making me feel dizzy.

A couple seconds passed before the aching in my chest subsided and the coughing stopped entirely. I could breathe again.

I stood there for a moment, eyes jammed shut, breathing heavily, trying to process what the fuck had just happened to me.

I think I coughed something up...

I slowly pulled my hand away from my mouth, clenching my fingers around whatever it was that had come out of my lungs just now. I slowly cracked my eyes open and stared down at my hand.

Impossible.

My mind went blank. I could not believe what I was seeing.

Sitting in the palm of my hand, surrounded by crimson globules of blood, were three flower petals. They were soft and delicate, pastel pink in color, shaped like tear drops with creamy white tips. Under different circumstances I would have found them beautiful.

Did I just... Cough up flower petals..?

I would definitely have to skip training today, because this absolutely was not normal.

To be continued...

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A/N: So yeah, I guess I'm into Hunter x Hunter now XD. I tried to leave this story as open-ended as possible, so I'm not going to mention the characters' ages. They can be as old as you want them to be. This story can also take place anywhere after the hunter exam arc, it's entirely up to you. I tried to leave canonical material out of this for the sake of it being open to imagination.

I'm really looking forward to continuing this story because I've never done a Hanahaki AU before!! I hope you guys will enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Heyyyy thanks so much for making it to the end of the chapter! Please remember to leave a review telling me what you think on your way out and consider checking out my other fics if you have time. Thanks again, love y'all!

-UltimatexAdmin