Five days had passed since my rough encounter with Shenka.
Gon and I had healed up enough that Leorio gave us the okay to leave our hotel room. But we weren't allowed to help him and Kurapika hunt down the target just yet. The only reason we could go outside was to practice sparring each other. Leorio forbid us from doing any high-intensity training, we were limited strictly to sparring because we knew each other's limitations and abilities better than anyone else did. In other words, thanks to our close bond, he trusted we wouldn't make each other's injuries worse.
We made a habit of sparring in that nice meadow with the tall grass and the Sakura tree that we had trained together in when we first arrived at the city. That was the day I first noticed the pain in my chest, which was so dull and unimpressive compared to how excruciating it had become.
I was honestly grateful for the distraction the limited training sessions provided, though. Sparring with Gon every day helped me deal with the fact that it was getting harder and harder to breathe as the hours ticked by.
My lungs were rapidly filling with flowers. It was getting so much worse. I started coughing up petals and blood once or twice a day, which meant it was getting pretty difficult to hide my disease from Gon and Kurapika. They'd already noticed the coughing fits, but I kept passing it off as a common cold. It wouldn't be long now before they found out one way or the other, just as Leorio predicted.
The day Gon found out was about three days after we had begun our sparring sessions. He was getting stronger and stronger with each match, recovering swiftly from his injuries.
But I was a different story. As he became stronger, I became weaker with every passing day. It became harder to even hold my own against him, let alone beat him.
He noticed almost instantly that something was wrong. Three days had gone by, filled with several sparring matches between us, and I hadn't won a single one. He knew this was unlike me, seeing as I usually beat him two out of every three matches we fought.
"Killua doesn't seem to be getting any better." Gon remarked, after beating me for the seventh time that day. There was an edge of genuine concern in his voice that I decided I didn't quite like. "Are you okay? Did your wounds get infected somehow?"
"No, I'm fine." I waved him off, sitting down in the tall grass and pressing my palms against my knees. "I dunno what the problem is. Maybe you've finally surpassed me in terms of strength and skill."
"Not possible." Gon wrinkled his nose at me and shook his head, as if revolted by the very idea of surpassing me. "You're ten times faster and stronger than I could ever hope to be. I wouldn't even dream of surpassing you this quickly. That's a little too ambitious to be valid, even for me."
"Well, given the fact it's been years since I've last practiced my assassin training, maybe I've just gotten rusty. That increases your chances of getting better than me by a whole lot, y'know." I reasoned, wiping sweat from my brow and heaving a sigh.
My chest felt achy and heavy, as if there were a weight glued to my lungs, dragging them down. I was at a point where I couldn't take deep breaths even if I wanted to, and I got winded easily.
"Even so, you still exercise all the time, whether it be fancy assassin training or not." Gon planted his fists on his narrow hips and glared at me stubbornly. "So what's the problem?"
"Nothing's the problem!" I snapped, defensively. "Why do you always assume there's gotta be a reason for everything? I'm fine!"
Gon blinked a couple times, unimpressed by my outburst. He'd known me for long enough now that my temper absolutely could not faze him. "Well, with someone as precise and skillful as you, there is, beyond a doubt, a reason for everything." he said, slowly.
I sighed and tipped my head forward, pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and index finger. I was opening my mouth to reply when suddenly the familiar feeling of flower petals catching in my throat overwhelmed me. My eyes went wide.
Oh god... Not now.
The scratchy, burning sensation in my throat was only growing stronger and stronger by the second. My chest ached so badly I felt tears of pain pricking at my eyes. I tried to swallow, but it hurt too much. I resisted the overwhelming urge to cough up the petals filling my throat and sprang to my feet, pushing past Gon. He let out a squawk of indignance, but I ignored him, walking as fast as I could toward the nearest street.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that I wouldn't make it in time. The meadow was so large, and the nearest street was an entire football field away.
I have to get away from Gon right now before he sees. I can't keep it in much longer.
"What was that for?" Gon exclaimed, but his voice died in his throat when he saw the way I was walking.
My back was hunched. I had clapped one hand over my mouth, as if it would help keep the flowers down for longer. My other hand was wrapped around my throat, fingers digging into pale flesh.
"Ne... Killua... Are you okay?" Gon began following me, much to my absolute horror. "You don't look so good... What's wrong?" his voice was low and hesitant, as if he were afraid of what my reaction would be. And he was still following me.
"G-Go away." I managed to say, gritting my teeth and nearly choking on all the flower petals stuck in my throat. I had to cough them up now before I suffocated, it was getting really hard to breathe. "Go away. I want t-to... To be alone. P-Please."
"What's wrong, Killua?" Gon repeated.
I staggered further away from him, trying my absolute hardest to put some distance between us.
Stop following me. Please stop following me.
"I-I'm fine. I just... I-I need a... A-A minute." I choked out, internally fighting my own gag reflex so I didn't vomit up all these damn flowers. It was really, really hard to breathe now. I could feel my entire body trembling. My legs felt weak and my hands were numb. "G-Gon, please."
"Something's clearly wrong here, Killua. Let me help you." Gon ran forward a couple steps so he could catch up with me. His hand closed around my shoulder and he tried to make me stop, but I shrugged his hand off and kept ambling away from him. "Killua!" he exclaimed, his voice adopting an urgent tone.
"Leave me a-alone."
"Killua, stop! You're really pale and you're shaking all over. What's going on? Talk to me!"
"Gon, you n-need to go away-..."
"No, I won't. Not until you tell me what the problem is. Your voice sounds strange. What's wrong? What hurts?"
"S-Stop, I'm fine, I-!"
"No you aren't, stop saying that!"
I can't hold it back any longer.
"Gon, please-"
"Stop arguing and just tell me what's going on. Let me help you!"
That was it. I couldn't keep the flower petals in any longer. My entire body jolted as a mind-numbing flash of white-hot pain tore through my throat and lungs. I stumbled and collapsed, falling onto my hands and knees as blood gushed from my mouth, which was wide open in a silent scream of agony. I scraped my palms on the rocks littering the ground, but I was too distracted by the excruciating pain in my chest to care. I absolutely could not breathe at all, there were too many petals caught up in my throat.
Perhaps the worst part of it all was the fact that Gon, the one person I had wanted to keep my disease a secret from, was standing right there, watching the entire event take place.
I'm sorry, Gon...
"Killua!" Gon's voice had risen to a panicked scream. He dropped to his knees beside me, those round eyes of his blown wide from shock and horror.
I wanted so badly to be able to reassure him that I was alright, that this was normal. But it was far too late for that.
More blood surged out of my mouth and splattered on the grass. Had I opened my eyes- which were currently screwed tightly shut- I would've noticed the absolutely terrifying puddle of crimson fluid forming beneath me faster than the ground could absorb it.
"Oh god, what's happening? Killua! Killua!" Gon cried, but his voice sounded distorted and blurry, as if I were underwater and he was shouting at me from above the surface.
I was rasping now, clawing at my throat as I tried to breathe. I needed air, I didn't want to die like this!
A couple seconds passed before I vomited up more blood, but this time, it was mixed with pink flower petals.
"A-Are those... Flowers? O-Oh my god..." Gon stammered out. He sounded like he was crying. I had made him cry. "I-I don't know what to do... Please breathe, Killua. Please breathe." I felt his hand on my back, moving in slow circles. He was trying to comfort me.
Now that some of the petals blocking my windpipe had cleared, I was able to breathe well enough to start coughing. I forced myself to ignore the excruciating burning sensation in my throat and began coughing as hard as I could, trying to force out all those damn flowers clogging my respiratory system.
Had I opened my eyes, I would've realized that I was hacking up entire pink tulip flowers. It wasn't just petals and droplets of blood anymore.
Gon stayed by my side throughout the entire event, sobbing quietly and whispering my name over and over again, pleading with any and every god he knew of to spare me. He thought I was dying. To be honest, I thought I might be dying too. That's how badly it hurt.
I was coughing up flowers for five minutes straight. Most of the flowers were stained with crimson globules of blood.
I knew it was over when I felt the last couple petals that had been blocking my throat tumble out of my mouth and drift silently to the ground, settling in the pool of blood I had created.
"K-Killua..?" Gon squeaked out. "Are... Are you... Nevermind, I won't ask that. Can you speak?"
I considered it for a moment before nodding. No matter how badly my throat hurt, I would do my absolute best to talk to Gon. He had just watched me throw up a dangerous amount of blood and cough up whole flowers, so he was probably scared out of his wits.
"W-Why were you coughing up flowers? Is... Is it okay to touch you? I don't wanna hurt you or make anything worse..." he stammered out.
"I-It... It's okay." I rasped. My voice was so thin and weak, so full of pain. "C-Christ... I'm so sorry, Gon. Please forgive me."
"Forgive you for what? You haven't done anything wrong." Gon hesitantly reached out and gathered me into his arms, flipping me over onto my back and laying me across his lap, cradling my head in the crook of his elbow.
"I should've told you earlier." I grimaced and clutched at my neck with one hand, my throat was really hurting. "I'm... I'm sick. I'm very sick."
"Shhh, I know. It's okay, I forgive you." Gon shook his head dismissively, though his glassy brown eyes were filled with worry. "We can talk more about this later, alright? I'm gonna carry you back to the hotel and let Leorio have a look at you."
"I can walk..." I started to say, but Gon touched a finger to my bloodstained lips, stopping me.
"Maybe you can, but I won't let you. You've already gotten your hands all scraped up, I don't want you collapsing like that again." he said, firmly.
I knew there was no point in arguing, so I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him scoop me up. He carried me bridal-style and ran all the way back to the hotel, completely ignoring all the weird looks people on the streets gave us as we flew by.
I was extremely exhausted and completely out of breath from my horrible coughing fit. It had lasted a lot longer than its predecessors, and there was a lot more blood than usual. Also, I had no idea where the whole flowers had come from. Usually it was just petals and nothing else.
When we made it back to our hotel room, Gon wasted no time in doing what needed to be done to ensure my safety.
He carried me into my room and set me down carefully on the bed, tucking the heavy blanket around my chest. He laid his palm across my forehead and grimaced, pulling back and standing up straight.
"You're feverish. I'm gonna call Kurapika and tell him what's going on. He'll bring Leorio straight back here to have a look at you, okay?" Gon said.
I nodded weakly, grateful that he hasn't started asking the awkward questions, like why I hadn't told him that I was suffering from a mysterious illness that caused me to cough up flowers. He was probably waiting for the right time to talk about it, which I appreciated. I still didn't want to talk about it at all, but I guess it was an necessity at this point. I had always known I wouldn't be able to hide it forever.
After Gon left the room, I could still hear his voice from outside the door. He was frantically explaining what had happened to Kurapika over the phone, and, based on the way his voice was wavering, I could tell he was trying really hard to keep himself together.
This all could've been avoided if I had just told him what was going on rather than letting him find out like this. He's gonna be so upset once he's had time to wrap his head around everything.
...And there's nothing I can do to change that because it's entirely my fault this time.
I winced when I realized Leorio would tell me the exact same thing when he got back. He would probably just shake his head and click his tongue like a disappointed parent and scold me for being such an idiot. Kurapika would do much the same, except a lot more aggressively.
To be completely honest, I deserved both of their endless, boring lectures on what's right and wrong, but that didn't mean I was looking forward to it.
Gon re-entered the room a moment later. The soft sounds of his footsteps brought me back to the present with a start. He looked unusually pale and stricken, his eyes wide with that same shock and horror I'd seen when I started throwing up blood right in front of him.
"They're on their way back here right now. Kurapika's panicking." was all he said as he wandered over to the bed and sat down on the edge of it, his back stiff and his shoulders squared. He looked like he was tensed for a fight.
"Mmh." I hummed a response and slowly sat up. "Sorry... I didn't mean to scare you..."
"Don't make it sound casual, Killua. I'm still absolutely terrified for you." Gon gave me a harsh look that implied I shouldn't argue. "For all I know, you could be dead five minutes from now. But, of course, you're not gonna tell me that you're dying. Just like you didn't tell me that you're sick."
I sighed. He was absolutely right. "If it helps any, I don't know for sure when I'm gonna die, either."
It was the wrong thing to say. Gon blanched, absolutely mortified. "Really, Killua? Really?"
"S-Sorry..." I mumbled, ducking my head and staring down at the blanket pooled in my lap, unable to meet my friend's burning gaze. "I didn't mean it like that. I just... Don't really know how to handle this sort of thing. I'm bad at emotions."
"Well, you're acting alarmingly calm for someone who just vomited up a dangerous amount of blood and... And flowers, for goodness sake!" Gon folded one arm across his chest and covered his face with the other, probably to hide the fact he was still holding back tears. "I didn't even know that was possible until just now! And I thought you were gonna die right in front of me!"
"I know. I'm sorry." I nodded compliantly so he knew I was actually listening and not just staring at the blanket.
"I don't want you to just apologize because that solves literally nothing. Just because you regret your actions doesn't mean you won't repeat them. I know Killua better than that. I'm not stupid." Gon insisted, tapping his foot against the backboard of the bed impatiently.
"Well, what else do you want me to do? I can't exactly rewind time and correct all my mistakes, y'know." I felt my own temper rising, seeing as there really wasn't anything I could do to help the situation we were in.
"Yeah, I know that too. And I'm not asking you to make any grand gestures like that. Just promise me you'll stop keeping secrets. I've always been completely honest with you and you know it." the tan boy snapped, glaring at me defiantly. "Whenever something happens you're always the first person I go to, no matter how small and petty the problem may seem. Hell, I go to you even for things that aren't problems! I tell you literally everything!" he threw his arms up in a helpless, frustrated gesture, trying to communicate how upset he was.
I shook my head and sighed again. "I'll do my best, alright? I'm just not used to telling people stuff. The only reason I've made it this far in life is because I've kept everything inside." I explained.
Gon's anger dissipated as quickly as it had manifested. His glare seemed to melt from his face, replaced by a soft expression that was somewhere between sadness and calm acceptance. He reached over to put his hand over mine, and the tense atmosphere in the room vanished.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you. I guess it's hard for me to remember that you didn't have an easy childhood like I did. We're such compatible people that I often forget how different we really are." he said, with a resigned tone of voice.
"It's... Fine." I bit back the sharp, angry remark that had been trying to form in my throat. The last thing I wanted to do was make things worse... Again.
Gon wasn't finished speaking yet. He smoothed his thumb over the back of my hand reassuringly before saying, "I just... I really, really wish Killua would've told me. I could've done something before it got this bad."
"I know. And I really am sorry, Gon. I won't let it happen again." I glanced sidelong at him, trying to ignore how my cheeks were burning from the gentle pressure of his hand over mine.
"It's alright, I forgive you. I'm not even that mad anymore." the tan boy turned to face me and smiled gently. "Now that I know, I can start looking for ways to make you better. I just hope it isn't too late"
To be continued...
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A/N: Wow okay so um- I'm not as sick anymore, I've recovered a little bit. Don't worry y'all, I should be okay. I'm still bone-tired though, sleep doesn't come easily to me for whatever reason. I uhhh... I watched the first three episodes of Spiral: Bond of Reasoning today, and I'm considering writing something for it once I finish it. It's pretty great, I definitely recommend it to anyone who's looking for a new anime to watch.
Anyway, this chapter was a lot of fun to write, although I read over it like six times just to make sure I got everything right XD. I wanted to include a scene where Gon actually got mad and yelled at Killua because tbh... Killua deserves it for being a brat and keeping everything to himself and Gon deserves a chance to be a little angry. I'd be pissed off and really scared too if my best friend suddenly started coughing up blood and flower petals like that. I tried to make his reaction to this turn of events as humane as possible... Which meant there needed to be an angsty yelling session XD.
Eyyyy thanks so much for reading! Please remember to leave a review on your way out telling me what you thought of this chapter, and consider checking out my other fics if you have time.
-UltimatexAdmin