Julia
Chapter 17A day went by, then two, and before anyone knew it a week had passed. Jeff drove down to Orlofsky's to see the owners and tell them how sorry he was about Julia. They gave him several items she left at the store, one of which was the key to her apartment. He tried to get Stu to go see them or at least go with him, but Stu said he had no interest in going and didn't see the point.
Jeff went to her apartment and took several boxes inside from his car, to pack up her personal belongings and send them to Mrs. Benson. He cleaned out the bathroom first, disposing of Julia's makeup and anything else he found in there. Then he moved on to her clothes, neatly folding everything and packing it away. He loaded it all in the car and came back for one last look. He searched for something to keep in case Stuart decided later that he wanted a remembrance, and Spencer was about to give up when he saw Julia's shawl on the back of a chair. It was a pretty thing, warm and wooly, knit from all the lightest pastel yarns. Jeff folded it carefully and draped it over his arm, closing and locking the door before taking the key to the manager's office. "I got everything out but the food, and you can do what you want with that," he told the manager. He laid the shawl on the front seat and headed for home.
When he got back to Hollywood he asked Suzanne to take the boxes to the Post Office and have them shipped to Mrs. Benson in Chicago. Stu was out at a client's, and Jeff brought the shawl inside and showed it to Suzanne. "Are you going to give that to Stuart?" the receptionist asked him.
"At some point," he answered, folding it back up carefully. "For right now I'm going to put it in my desk."
When Stu came back he asked Jeff if he'd gotten his 'errand' done. "You should have been the one to go down there," Jeff told him in a voice that sounded as mournful as he felt. Then he went to his office and closed the door.
"What's eating him?" Stu asked.
"You, I'd say," Suzanne answered politely, and refused to explain any further. Stuart was confused but headed for his own office.
At lunchtime Suzanne took Jeff's car and drove to the Post Office, shipping the boxes to Julia's mother as he had asked. When she got back to the office Jeff was at lunch but Stu was sitting behind his desk, working.
"Jeff had a client lunch," Stuart explained. "Why don't I pay for lunch and you can go down to the sandwich shop and pick it up for both of us? It's been a while since we've had lunch together."
"Alright. What would you like?"
"Roast beef on a roll, a cup of Barley soup, and an iced tea. And be sure to get whatever you want. I'll catch the phones."
Suzanne was gone less than fifteen minutes. When she came back they sat in Stu's office and ate. There wasn't a lot of talking to begin with, but finally Stu asked her what she'd meant earlier when she alluded to the fact that Stu was what Jeff was disappointed in.
"Don't you get it, Stuart? He's disappointed in you. You should have been the one to drive down to Huntington Beach and see the Orlofsky's. You should have been the one that went to her apartment and packed up her things to send to Chicago. You were the one that loved the woman; instead you've walked around here for a week acting like there was nothing wrong, nothing happened. Jeff thought you were a better man than that." Suzanne stood and picked up what was left of her sandwich and headed for the reception area. She turned around just before leaving his office. "And so did I."
She sat back down at her switchboard and there was no sound in the office for four or five minutes. Then the intercom buzzed. "Suzanne, could you come back in here, please?"
She got up and walked back into the office. "I know, you're going to fire me. Let me save you the trouble. I'm sorry I behaved that way, and I'll write up my resignation."
Stu looked as mournful as Jeff had earlier. "Suzanne, sit down, please. I'm not going to fire you and I don't want your resignation." He stood up and walked over to the window and looked out through the blinds. His voice was low and sorrowful, and he stood with his back to Suzanne. "None of you knew what an act I was putting on. I was dying inside, but I didn't dare let any of you know how I felt. I couldn't stand the pity and the sympathy I would've gotten from everybody. So I held it all inside, and every night I went home to an empty apartment and slipped a little further into the abyss. She was my whole life, Suzanne. And I didn't dare let go, lest I slide down into utter darkness and despair. Now Julia's gone and so is all the beauty and joy in the world. And I'm left with nothing . . . nothing." Stu turned from the window and Suzanne could see the tears running down his face. "How do I go on without her?"
Suzanne rushed to him and wrapped her arms around him, and he sagged against her and sobbed. "I can't . . . I can't stand . . . to be alone . . . I need her . . . I need . . . oh, Julia, why did you go . . . and leave me here?" He wept like a man whose heart was truly broken, as Suzanne was sure it was. She got him to sit in his chair; he put his head on the desk and she watched his shoulders heave and listened to the keening sound fill the air. She stroked his hair; it was the only comfort she could give. Slowly, ever so slowly the sobbing subsided and he lifted his head and pressed it against her belly, and continued to cry softly while she held him to her and did her best to comfort him.
By the time he finally quit her blouse was soaking wet and he needed to blow his nose. As she went to her desk to get Kleenex she heard him murmuring, "Sorry . . . I'm so sorry."
When she brought the tissues back she sat down and told him, "Stop. You have nothing to be sorry for. We're the ones that should be apologizing to you. Poking and prodding you for a week, trying to get you to open up to us, and all the while you were holding on by a thread. You know how much we all love you, and we couldn't stand to see you in the pain we knew you had to be feeling." She waited while he wiped his face and blew his nose before continuing. "You're not alone, Stuart. Every one of us is here for you. You just have to let us in."
Stu couldn't meet her eyes so he looked down at his desk instead. "I was such a coward. I couldn't even go back to her apartment and clean it out; I couldn't stand to look at it. Now she's gone and I have nothing of hers. Nothing. All that's left is the pain."
"You have us, Stuart, and all your friends. We want to help you, but you have to let us. Will you do that?"
He finally raised his eyes from the desk and looked directly at Suzanne. "I'll do my best."
Suzanne was about to return to her switchboard when she thought of something. She went to Jeff's office instead and opened the bottom drawer of his desk. There sat the shawl that had kept Julia warm many nights when she and Stu drove with the top down in the convertible. Suzanne lifted it out carefully and closed the desk drawer. She hurried back to Stu's office and laid it down on the desk next to him. He looked at the shawl almost as if he didn't recognize it, then it dawned on him slowly and he knew what it was. He picked it up gently and buried his face in it; her scent enveloped him. When he pulled it away he stared at her. "Jeff?" he asked.
"Jeff."
She left him alone then, closing the door behind her. Thirty minutes went by before Stu emerged from his office, briefcase in one hand, shawl in the other. "Suzanne, I'm going away for a while. Pack some clothes in a suitcase and drive up the coast. I don't know how long I'll be gone. When I'm sure I'll call in. Tell Jeff . . . tell him I said thank you. For the shawl and everything else. And thank you, too. I'll never be able to repay you for what you've done."
She looked at him and smiled. "You already have. Take care, Stuart, and remember . . . we'll all be here waiting for you when you're ready to come back."
Stu Bailey smiled back at his friend and sighed, then walked out the front door. He might be lonely, missing the woman that he'd loved and lost, but he knew now he wasn't really alone.
The End
Next story, Only Time, is the conclusion of the tale. Story begins Tuesday.