AN: First off all sorry I know this is a day later than I promised on the forum. Which by the way if you haven't, go check it out and chat….if not at least go and check out the new fabulous banner for this story made by the talented sigh_by_sigh, links on my profile.
Also if you haven't already ~ go vote at the Razzle Dazzle Awards, Fall For You is up for Best Vampire!!! (See profile for link)
So this is a biggie…lots going on here. I like the angst so I know there's been a lot but there's going to be a little break before the "ya know" hit's the fan.
(I find it funny, I just said "ya know" when this chapter's littered with F-bombs)
*Warning* This chapter has a lemon at the very end, it's kind of descriptive so skip over if you're not interested and if you are under age and reading this I don't want to know, thx!
Hope everyone had a good holiday weekend! Sorry for any errors, I don't have a beta yet and I can only read over it so many times before everything blurs!
Thanks for all the reviews, you guys overwhelm me! :)
I don't own Twilight!
EPV
I heard his thoughts of confusion and disgust before I saw the shiny metal of a wheel chair push it's way through the door into the small kitchen, a large kid pushing it from behind. The more I took in his overbearing appearance as he ducked his head to fit into the door frame made me rethink the word "kid".
I stepped protectively in front of Bella as Jacob Black's head snapped up and stared at us wide eyed before his body tensed and began to tremble from head to toe. His thoughts were a mixture of hate and rage as they broke into fragments before becoming incoherent, only the mantra of, "Control yourself Jake", broke through the garbled mess.
I reached back and pulled Bella close to me as I watched Billy Black lay a calming hand on Jake's trembling one before coaxing Charlie into the living room to watch the game. Charlie glanced back and forth between Bella and I naïve to the exchange between immortals going on in his kitchen before he relented and took Billy from Jacob giving Bella and I one last fleeting look.
"Jacob….." I began, as my hand not holding onto Bella shot up to stop him from moving any closer.
"DO NOT ADDRESS ME BLOODSUCKER." He snapped, his tone dripping with hate. "What have you done to her?" He seethed, panting in and out, his eyes jumping back and forth between Bella and I erratically
I felt Bella flinch behind me and I pulled her close, my mind willing her to stay out of this as Jacob looked on, his trembling worsened as his fists clenched so tight the tan of his knuckles had turned pale white.
"You broke the treaty you sick fuck, don't you realize what this means?" Through the static of his thoughts he was both frightened and excited at the prospect of going to war with us as he pictured tearing me from limb to limb.
"Jacob……" He froze as Bella's small voice called from behind me and time seemed to stand still as my whole body went rigid and I squeezed her hand desperately begging her to stop.
When Jacob didn't answer she tried again, "Jacob….you have this all wrong…." Her voice was calm and soothing but I could hear the fear around the edges.
"Bella….how? How could you let this bloodsucker do this to you? What about Charlie……?" He rasped as he took deep breaths to calm himself. Flashes of him and Bella playing in the mud as children flashed through his mind as he willed himself to hold himself together.
Bella slowly stepped out from behind me and moved towards Jacob but I tightened my grip on her hand and didn't let her pass my side.
"Jacob." Bella started and Jacob visibly flinched as she said his name. "How much do you know about why I moved here?" She questioned imploringly.
Jacob's thoughts shot out in a hundred different directions as he tried to figure out what this had to do with anything.
"What does that have to do with any of this?" He spat, his head shaking in confusion.
Bella flinched at his tone and I was pushed further towards the edge of just ending this and leaping at the dog, thoughts of me tearing his jaw off first for speaking to her in that manner tempted me in my mind.
"Jacob, please. Trust me, it has everything to do with this." She reasoned.
He breathed out in aggravation and ran his hand roughly through his hair. After hesitating for a few moments he finally spoke. "Charlie told my dad that you were having problems, that you had run away from your mom's and that it all revolved around some guy you were seeing." He rushed out impatiently not wanting to go along with all of this but Bella was having some kind of effect on him that didn't really leave him with much of a choice.
"Okay…." Bella breathed out slowly. "Well I'm asking you to trust me when I tell you that that guy I was seeing was a…..vampire. I was like, this," She motioned towards herself, "before I got here. I was already like this when I met the Cullen's, Jake."
Jacob's eyes widened as he stared back at Bella in disbelief, his trembling worsened. "You're lying! You're making this up to protect them." He accused, barely above a whisper.
"No Jake, I promise you I'm not. You have to believe me. The Cullen's are good people……." She pleaded but was abruptly cut off.
"Bella….these things, are NOT people." He spat through clenched teeth as he began pacing back and forth across the small kitchen.
Bella growled in aggravation and tore her hand from mine as she closed the space between her and Jacob before I could grab onto her. My body froze as Jacob stilled and faced Bella leaving them only inches apart.
"Bella." I breathed, knowing that if I made any attempt to move towards her it would just set Jake off quicker.
She held her hand up to me before crossing her arms in front of her and looking up at Jacob in defiance.
"Jacob Black," She scolded, "I have known you since we were in diapers for christ's sake. Have I ever lied to you before?"
Jacob blinked a few times taken back by Bella's forwardness and his trembling subsided some as he saw flickers of the Bella he had known from when they were kids.
"Um, no…..but this is different Bella……" He stuttered out before Bella interrupted him pushing her finger into his chest. I sucked in a breath as I watched her.
"I don't care about this vampire, werewolf bullshit Jake! I'm talking about us, Bella and Jacob and that's it. I'm not lying to you and I don't appreciate the way you talk about the Cullen's, they have been nothing but nice to me since I got here."
He looked at her blankly for a few moments completely taken off guard as he tried to take in her words, his mind riddled with confusion on how to proceed. Finally he huffed out in resignation and gave her a weak smile. "I'll have to talk to Sam about all of this, he has the final say on things, but I'll tell him what you told me." He said, his voice calming some.
I watched as Bella's body relaxed and a whoosh of air pushed out of me as I realized I had been holding my breath. "Thanks Jake, that's all I'm asking." She said.
His hand rose slightly but he hesitated and my body went rigid as I prepared myself to attack but instead of trying to harm Bella he slowly reached up and ruffled her hair, a big goofy grin spread on his face.
"This is just weird!" He chuckled, appraising my Bella and I couldn't help the jealousy that ripped through me as he appreciatively took in the changes to her body since he had last seen her. He cringed when he reminded himself she was a vampire now and I couldn't help but laugh and his head shot up to look at me. He shot me a dirty look before turning his attention back to Bella.
"So….bloodsucker, huh?" He more stated than asked as he slowly shook his head trying to wrap his head around it.
Bella giggled and playfully punched his shoulder a little too hard and he winced in pain as I watched on with a satisfied smirk on my face.
"So…mutt, huh?" She teased back and he laughed whole heartedly as he rubbed his shoulder.
"Don't take this the wrong way Bells, but you reek."
Bella chuckled and made her way back over to the stove, "That's funny," she mused glancing back over her shoulder at him, "Because I was about to say the same about you."
She turned back to the stove as Jacob laughed and I growled lowly as I saw him checking out her ass in his mind before slowly making his way into the living room.
With Jacob gone I made my way over to Bella, I stood behind her clenching and unclenching my fists as the need to wrap my arms around her and hold her to me consumed me. But I settled on skimming my knuckles over her exposed shoulder and she shuddered under my soft touch.
"Bella." I began, leaning close to her ear, our bodies mere inches apart, "That was very brave of you. You scared the hell out of me….." I chuckled lightly shaking my head at her, "But it was very brave."
She cleared her throat. "Thanks." She whispered.
I stood there, waiting for her to say more but nothing came, just the sound of our breathing filled the air around us. Mine shallow and rough as my body ached for her. I was about to turn and walk away when she sat down what she was working on and started to say something.
"Edward…..about earlier….." My heart dropped as I waited for her to finish.
"I …..I, um….,"She stuttered.
"Shit." I cursed under my breath as I heard Charlie decide to come check on us.
She spun around and looked at me, her eyes wide in confusion until she heard Charlie get up and make his way into the room.
"Bells….everything okay in here." He asked, grabbing another beer from the fridge.
"Ya Dad, everything's almost finished." She answered.
"Great, I'm starving. Hey Edward, why don't you let Bella finish up in here and come watch the game son." He put on a nice façade but his thoughts were set on getting me away from his daughter.
"Sure, sounds great." I said dryly, trying to keep the aggravation out of my tone.
I looked back at Bella before I reluctantly walked away and she gave me an apologetic smile.
"We'll talk about this tonight?" I said more than asked.
She nodded her head and looked at me with a sad smile, "Sure." She said softly.
**************
BPV
Dinner went by relatively uneventful. Charlie ate in peace completely ignorant to the goings on around the table. Edward and I sat beside each other as I unsuccessfully faked my way through dinner, the only break Edward and I had from the tension between us was when I choked down a piece of turkey and he grabbed my hand under the table and gave me a sympathetic look. Jacob however made up for us not eating much and devoured the majority of the food, only breaking to laugh under his breath at me as he watched me suffer. All the while Billy barely touched his food and spent most of the time shooting daggers at Edward and I, I could only hope he'd lighten up when Jake finally talked to him.
After the kitchen was cleaned and Jacob and Billy finally left Edward pretended to leave also and I hovered around the living room as Charlie dozed in and out in front of the t.v. I pretended to tidy up as I procrastinated on going up the stairs and seeing Edward.
"Bella," Charlie mumbled mid yawn, "You've done so much today, why don't you give it a rest and turn in for the night kiddo."
I swallowed hard and couldn't help but glance towards the stairs. "Um, sure dad."
After bidding Charlie goodnight I trudged up the stairs and paused at my door, my hand hesitated on the door knob refusing to turn it.
"You know I can hear you Isabella." Edward's voice carried through the door and I cringed.
When I entered the room my chest felt heavy as I took in Edward's stoic appearance as he sat on my windowsill looking out at the night sky.
"Run out of things to clean?" He asked flatly, still looking out into the darkness.
"Sorry." I breathed, not really knowing what else to say.
"You know….it used to be me saying that all of the time to you, it seems like you've picked up my habit today." He mused as he dropped his head and ran his finger lightly across the bottom of the window.
He looked so broken, his voice sounded so hollow and I choked back a sob knowing I was doing this to him.
I hesitantly made my way over to him and I noticed his body tense slightly the closer I got. I took a deep breath and pressed my chest up against his back as I wrapped my arms around his neck letting them hang loose down on his chest. I buried my face into the back of his neck and breathed him in.
"I really am sorry." I whispered into his shirt. Us both knowing I wasn't talking about the cleaning anymore.
He shuddered as I exhaled and my breath hit his back.
He reached up and held my hands in his, kissing the back of them before placing one on top of his heart.
"Are you ready to talk?" He asked softly, looking back at me over his shoulder.
I shook my head yes into his back and he turned around and stood up slowly. He searched my face for a few moments before picking me and jumping out the window.
"Edward…we can't." I protested, panicked.
"We're not going far, I'll still be able to hear him, I just…..need to be alone with you." He spoke into my hair as he ran with me.
He wasn't lying, we only went a few feet into the woods until we hit a small clearing and he placed me softly on the ground.
Standing in front of me he looked at me expectantly, his eyes sad, pain clearly written on his beautiful face in the moonlight.
I reached up and softly caressed his face wanting to brush away the tension, "I don't want to hurt you anymore….I don't like that I'm causing this." I whispered, still brushing my fingers over his cheek and forehead.
He leaned into my touch before he spoke. "Bella stop worrying about me and tell me what is wrong, please." He begged softly.
"I've been …..thinking a lot about my past." I started and swallowed hard as he stared at me intently and shook his head urging me to continue.
"After I moved here and met all of you I thought I had gotten over….everything. But something so simple as talking to Renee completely undid everything that I thought I had worked through already and it just begin to eat away at me." I rushed out and looked away, my hand dropping from his face as I wrapped my arms around my middle in a vain attempt to hold myself together.
It was dead quiet and I closed my eyes as I waited for his reaction. I felt him touch my chin and pull me to look at him as my eyes opened slowly.
"Why didn't you tell me Bella, I could have helped you through this…..we all would've helped you, you don't have to go through this by yourself, we've all been there…." But his words stopped short as I shook my head at him.
"I didn't want to hurt you, I….I love you…and I feel so guilty all of the time like by thinking about all of this that I'm betraying you somehow…….," I sobbed as Edward's body tensed and his eyes dropped to the ground. He slowly ran his hand through his disheveled hair and breathed out slow and long before he looked back up at me again. His eyes were glazed over and hurt.
"Bella….What exactly are we talking about here?" He asked, his voice hoarse with emotion. "Are you talking about being changed and adjusting to this life or are we….." he hesitated and clenched his fists before digging them deep into his pockets, "Are we talking about something else." He finished softly.
I covered my mouth as a sob escaped my throat and I wished for the ability to cry, to have some kind of relief.
"Bella….please." He pleaded, his eyes overflowing with pain. "You're killing me here," he whispered. "Please….." He pleaded again when I hesitated.
I shook my head and tried to search for the right words. "I don't know….all of the above I guess. I'm just….so confused."
*************
EPV
For a second I had hope. I was under the misconception that she was referring to her new life and adjusting and accepting her change like my family had reasoned with me time and time again but they were wrong, I was wrong.
This was about him.
Deep down I knew I should have been more concerned about what set this off, she had told me she had talked to Renee and that it hadn't went well but I couldn't imagine what was said to bring all of this on and at the moment I was too fucked up to ask.
I froze.
She was confused? About us? About her feelings for him?
"Edward, please say something." She whispered and I realized I had been just standing there, staring at her for god knows how long.
I opened my mouth and closed it more than once trying to find words but nothing came until I finally pulled myself together enough to speak.
"You're going to have to be a little more specific. What exactly are you confused about?" It didn't escape me how withdrawn my voice sounded to my own ears so I wasn't surprised when Bella blanched and her eyes filled with even more tears if that was possible.
"I….I'm not sure…" She stuttered out and I took a deep breath and decided to try another tactic.
"Are you confused about…us?" I asked barely above a whisper, the words getting stuck in my throat.
"No." She answered without any hesitation and I slowly exhaled in relief.
"Do you still have feelings for….him?" I asked, not able to keep the hatred from dripping from my words as I spoke of him.
She hesitated and I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me.
"No." She finally answered back but the uncertainty in her voice practically killed me again.
I covered my face in aggravation and fell roughly to the ground needing to sit down, my body actually felt exhausted and I didn't know how much longer my legs were going to hold me up.
"Bella?" I growled lowly, knowing that the last answer was a lie.
She fell to her knees and grabbed my wrists prying my hands away from my face.
"No Edward, its not like that, it's not those kind of feelings." She pleaded.
I looked up at her and saw the desperation and sincerity in her eyes.
"It's not." She repeated softly. " I have feelings…. but their feelings of hurt and betrayal." She leaned in and looked straight into my eyes, desperate for me to understand and I did above everything else, want to understand. "I know this is going to be hard for you to hear me say this even though I know you already know but at the time I…I loved him and he hurt me…he left me Edward. I was ready to give my life up for him and that's exactly what winded up happening but in the end he wasn't there."
I stared back at her as her words sunk in and I flipped our hands so I was holding hers and I buried my face into her palms kissing her sweet skin.
"I'm so sorry he hurt you Bella," I spoke into her skin and then looked up at her, "If I could take it all away I would, in a second Bella, I swear I would."
I watched in disbelief as she pulled my arm around her and sat in my lap, taking her hands from mine she reached up and held my face.
"Don't you see Edward? You did take it all away, you were my angel, my saving grace, you still are. I would of never made it past these last few months if it wasn't for you." She whispered and her sweet breath fanned out over my face.
"But I didn't take it away Bella, it was still buried there, I was just a distraction." I said as I reached up and brushed her hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear as I tried in vain not to let that thought swallow me whole.
She jerked my face back to her. "Edward Cullen. The last thing you are to me is a distraction! I love you. I've never felt anything as strong as the way I feel about you. I got through the past few months because you made me feel whole again."
I just stared at her unsure of what to say, not even a few minutes ago I had been sure I was about to lose her and now here she was sitting in my lap explaining exactly how I felt about her. She had saved me. For the first time in my existence she had made me feel whole.
"But...the last few weeks…..?" I mumbled.
"I'm sorry." She whispered, as she nuzzled her face into my neck and my body automatically responded to her touch.
"It's all my fault. After I talked to Renee and all of these feelings and memories got brought to the surface again I felt like a failure." She murmured into my skin and the feel of her lips moving against me sent vibrations down my body.
"Failure?" I asked, my voice uneven.
"Yes. I failed you, you tried telling me I was broken, that I wasn't ready for all of this but I pushed you and promised you that I was and all it took was one conversation to unravel me. I was afraid if you saw how broken I truly was, well still am, that you'd finally realize you didn't want me anymore."
"Bella…." I interrupted, but she shook her head.
"Wait please…." She pleaded and looked down.
"I'm sorry I pushed you away, I never meant to. It was just too much. I had all of these feelings hit me I hadn't felt in months and then I felt guilty for even thinking about him and then you were there trying to be understanding and it made me feel even more guilty. It just snow balled until I couldn't function anymore. I'm sorry."
I waited to make sure she was done. "May I speak now?" I teased her softly giving her the first real smile in weeks.
She smiled back at me and traced my lips with her finger. "Yes, please."
"Bella," I soothed holding her chin and making her look at me. "You. Are not. A failure."
She opened her mouth to protest but I put my finger over her lips and grinned. "Nuh uh, my turn." She nodded into my finger and I continued.
"You are one of the bravest people I've ever met, being changed in itself is a life altering experience that takes years to adapt to and to be honest I don't think it's something you ever fully accept. We've all struggled with it from time to time throughout the years. With the exception of Carlisle we were all either sick or dying when it happened but you were perfectly healthy Bella, you had a life, and in the end it was taken in a horrible way by someone you….," I inwardly cringed and decided to go with a safe word that didn't tear me from the inside out, " trusted." "I can't imagine having to deal with that on top of everything else. So in the grander scheme of things I think you've handled everything exceptionally well, love."
"Really?" She asked in a small voice that broke my heart.
"Yes. You just have to promise me something." I cupped her face and ran my thumbs back and forth over her cheeks as she stared up at me with tear filled eyes. I leaned forward and kissed both of her eyes before I continued.
"Promise me that you won't hold anything back from me like you have these past few weeks. If this is going to work Bella we need to be able to go through these things together. I may not always be able to make things better for you but I'll give everything I have to try and no matter what I'll always be by your side."
She nodded her head in my hands and whispered, "Okay."
"And there's something else I need to say….." I started, not sure how to proceed. I closed my eyes and hesitated until I found my words and looked at her with a new conviction.
"Isabella, I love you. And I know that I haven't been shy about expressing how much you've changed my life and how much I…need you now. But if there's ever a time when you…outgrow me or your feelings change……"
"Edward……" She interrupted panicked but I shushed her so I could finish. "Bella please, the last few weeks have made me do a lot of thinking, please let me finish."
She nodded her head reluctantly and I took a deep breath. "Bella don't take this the wrong way but you are still so young…." She went to interrupt again but I held up my hand to stop her before she could say anything already expecting her reaction.
" Love, don't get me wrong I'm experiencing all of this for the first time along with you, ever since you walked into my life it's like I'm seeing the world for the first time but…," I paused looking into her soft, loving eyes, "the difference between us is that while I've had over a lifetime to search this world for you and that I know without a doubt that you are the only one for me…Bella there's no way that you could possibly know that yet."
She shook her head slowly back and forth and I continued.
"No matter what happens between us I'm always going to be here for you, in any shape or form that you'll have me, I'm not going anywhere, you're it for me. But if there ever comes a time when I'm not enough for you I need you to know that it's okay. I feel like I've put a lot of pressure on you by letting you know how vital you are to my existence and I just don't want you to ever feel trapped."
"Edward, I can't just sit here and let you talk like this." She cried. "You're it for me too, I love you, I'm not going anywhere!"
She crashed her lips to mine and I momentarily tensed from the shock but immediately melted into her, kissing her with all of the emotion that was stirring in my body.
"Don't. *kiss* Ever. *kiss* Talk *kiss* Like *kiss* That *kiss* Again!" She finished, pushing her sweet tongue into my mouth.
"Mmmm Bella." I moaned as I moved from her soft lips to her neck so I could speak. "I just need you to know okay, just promise me." I spoke against her skin before I made my way back to her delicious mouth.
She broke away panting hard and looked into my eyes, her own eyes hooded and dark.
"I promise." She breathed, her chest rising and falling roughly, the fabric of her sweater pulling tight with each breath. "But that's never going to happen, I've loved you from the moment I met you and you're not getting rid of me that easy." She smiled with conviction and dove back into my mouth.
I ran my tongue across her teeth and then plunged my tongue back into her mouth, exploring her inch by wonderful inch.
She growled into the kiss and took my lips in between her teeth and nibbled lightly before tracing my lips with her tongue.
"Uh….god." I murmured incoherently as my hands found her ass and pulled her over to straddle my waist.
I held her tightly against me relishing in her heat pressed up against me as my tongue followed a path across her jaw line, to her earlobe where I stopped to suck and nip at her soft skin before nuzzling the spot behind her ear, then making my way down her neck, and finally to her exposed shoulder that had been begging for my attention all day.
"Bella…." I breathed, trying to hold onto a shred of coherency as she rocked her hips into me.
"Hmmm?" She hummed, while her nails made a searing path down my back to the bottom of my shirt where she began feverishly tugging at it.
God, after not having this for what seemed like an eternity every touch was earth shattering.
"Love…" I murmured into the silken skin of her shoulder, "After…ugh god," I rasped, forgetting my words, hell, forgetting my name, as she began tugging my shirt from the waistband of the front of my jeans and lightly grazed the straining fabric by my zipper purposely with her fingers.
She smiled coyly at me and giggled as she yanked my vest and shirt over my head. "You were saying?" She teased, smirking at me with a devilish grin as her hands fluttered over my chest, tracing the lines of my muscles and down along my abs.
The further her hands moved down the more I lost all rational thought as my eyes closed shut and I reveled in her touch, my muscles tightening as she went.
Knowing I was only seconds from forgetting everything and reclaiming what was mine I needed her to hear me out.
"Bella….please baby, wait." I whispered hoarsely, taking her wrists into my hands and she pouted adorably and I couldn't help but smile at her.
I took a deep breath and steadied myself trying to ignore for a moment how breathtakingly beautiful she looked straddling me as her dark eyes stared into mine lined with raw passion and her bottom lip jutted out in a sinfully delicious pout. I subconsciously licked my lips as I stared at her mouth and I shook my head trying to clear my mind as a breathy chuckle escaped me. I needed to talk fast because my control was seriously faltering.
I cleared my throat and spoke calmly. "After everything that's happened, I..I think we should slow down some just for the time being." I quickly finished as I watched her lips turn down.
"Edward…." She pouted, "I don't need to slow down and…." She paused and rocked her hips roughly into mine, "I don't want to." She purred softly as she pressed her chest into mine.
With our bodies in such close, intimate proximity and the jolt of electricity that shot through me as I noticed how much I enjoyed the sight of her wrists secured tightly in my hands, my will to reason with her was dwindling.
"Edward," She breathed in my ear before she tugged on my earlobe with her teeth. "I can't go back."
My control snapped and in a quick flash I had Bella beneath me pinned to the earth with her hands secured in one of mine above her head as I pushed my painfully throbbing erection into her center.
"Bella….." I rasped as I leaned down and whispered slowly into her ear, "I'm not suggesting we go back, I don't even think I could," I said huskily as I ran my nose across her jaw line tortuously slow, "I'm just suggesting that we wait a little while before we go any further, I think after everything that's happened it would be wise not to rush anything."
She whimpered and writhed as I skimmed along her skin to her collar bone and my palm rested on her mound above her sweater, my finger lightly teasing her pert nipple through the fabric.
"Um….ugh, you're not fighting fair." She breathed as she squirmed under me. I rocked into her again and continued to in slow even motions as my hand ran down to the hem of her sweater and began pushing it upwards.
"I never claimed to fight fair Bella." I teased attempting to sound collected but losing the effect as my voice cracked when I pushed her sweater far enough up to reveal the deep blue lace bra covering Bella leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination.
"God, you're beautiful." I whispered before taking her nipple into my mouth through the sheer fabric, sucking madly before taking it between my teeth. My other hand freed her arms and roughly ran down the curve of her body before settling on her other breast and pulling down the fabric before teasing and rolling her pink bud through my fingers.
"Oh Edward…." She panted as her hands fisted in my hair and pulled me towards her. A new high overtook me at the sensation of Bella pulling me to her and not pushing away like I had come accustomed to these past few weeks. The realization that everything had fallen back into place and that she was still mine after assuming I was losing her rocked my body and shook me to my core.
I kissed hungrily down her stomach and looked up at her with a new raw need as my body shook with my overwhelming emotion.
"God Bella…." I choked out hoarsely.
"What is it baby?" She whispered her eyes wide in alarm as she took in the change of my demeanor.
"I need you, please I need you." I pleaded, feeling like if I didn't have her now I was going to fall apart.
Still looking down at me with worry in her eyes she watched my hand find it's way to the button of her jeans and she nodded yes as understanding crossed her perfect features.
"Of course baby." She soothed as she ran her hands through my hair caressing my scalp, but nothing would free me until I had her.
In a flash I had her jeans undone and then I sat up to slowly pull them down her legs one at a time as she looked up at me from under her hooded eyes. She was a goddess, her hair splayed out around her on the ground, her skin illuminated in the moonlight.
I kissed her ankle and licked down her calf until I reached her knee and gave the inside of it a lingering kiss before peppering her inner thigh with soft sensual kisses, I repeated the same path on the other leg trying to go slow while my mind and my lower half was screaming at me to take her, as I reached her upper thigh again I moaned with each kiss as her scent surrounded me. Her lacy blue sheer panties matched her bra and I felt bad for only a second as I ripped them in two promising myself to buy her twenty more just like it.
As I lowered my head and softly spread her legs before me I felt her hand tug in my hair and I looked up at her.
"Edward, wait." She breathed, as the monster within me gripped her thighs tighter but my face stayed calm and I nodded for her to continue.
"I, um thought we could try something different." She said jutting her chin out slightly trying to cover up the hesitation in her voice.
"Bella…." I warned, having thought we had come to some silent agreement about not moving any further for now but she interrupted me.
"Edward, it's nothing we haven't done already, I promise, it's just, um different." She said in a sure voice and I was wondering where all this confidence was coming from. It suited her well and it was sexy as hell.
I reluctantly let go of her thighs and let her pull me beside her not being able to deny her anything.
She sat up and pulled me towards her as I walked to her on my knees and she fluidly undid my jeans and yanked them down along with my boxers down to my knees. I stared at her mouth as she licked her full lips and stared at my hardness that was now only inches from her face.
"Lay down." She breathed tearing her eyes from my cock and looking up at me innocently.
Jesus I almost came undone right there.
I went to lay beside her weary of her intentions as we were both completely exposed but she stopped me and told me to lay the other way and I stilled and looked at her wide eyed, completely taken back and thrilled as the realization of what she wanted hit me.
Fuck!
I laid down on my side facing her, her sweet hot sex only inches from my face and I choked back a moan as I felt her hot breath fan out onto my hardness.
I looked back at her waiting for her to let me know she was ready and she smiled at me timidly even though her eyes shone with excitement and want.
"Is this okay?" She whispered unsure as I realized I hadn't said anything for awhile, I was too stunned and mesmerized to function.
"Yes." I rasped and traced her slick folds with my finger as I smiled back at her and then pushed my finger inside of her. I watched her eyes roll back as a soft, throaty moan escaped her lips and her chest jutted out in pleasure.
"Bella," I called and her eyes slowly opened as I looked back and forth from her face to her tight sweater still pushed half way up her chest only exposing the bottom of her covered breast.
"Baby, take your sweater off for me." I told her and her eyes lit up as I instructed her.
I watched as she pulled the fabric from her body and she looked back down at me, her arousal hitting me ten fold and I plunged another finger into her but moved them painfully slow wanting to draw this out.
My head fell onto her upper thighs as I swam in her scent, I could taste it and I knew I needed her now.
"Now take your bra off baby…..I need to see you" I choked looking back up at her, my voice strained with pure lust.
She reached back and slowly unhooked her bra, her hips beginning to writhe against my palm as another release of wetness escaped her and I was pleasantly surprised by how much me telling her what to do turned her on in turn making me want her even more.
She was now laying beside me bare and I ran my eyes up and down her naked body.
"You are exquisite Bella." I rasped as I removed my fingers from her and she whimpered at the loss but I quickly replaced them with my eager tongue.
"Uh, oh……" She moaned as I plunged my tongue into her wet sex and then pulled back to slowly lick her from back to front, lapping up her sweet nectar.
"Mmmmm…" I groaned as her juices ran sweetly down my throat.
"Oh GOD……" She whimpered and I felt her tiny hand wrap around me and her warm beautiful mouth envelope my head.
"Fuck!" I grunted, my head falling back from her as her mouth covered my hardness.
"Shit." I cursed and it encouraged her as she begin sliding me further into her mouth inch by inch, until I felt the back of her throat and I almost came right there.
I panted in and out not sure how I was going to last with the feeling of my mouth on her and her doing that to me.
It was fucking amazing.
My vision blurred as she began bobbing her head up and down, her small hand circling what she couldn't take in and I buried myself between her legs, needing her to catch up to me because I wasn't sure how long I was going to last.
Our panting and muffled moans and whimpers collided and became one in the night air as we were joined together, both climbing rapidly to ecstasy.
I felt her walls tighten around my tongue as I plunged it in and out of her at a fast pace taking everything she gave me as she moaned around my cock, the vibrations barreling me towards euphoria.
I felt her walls clamp down as I closed my teeth around her bundle of nerves and pushed two fingers into her pumping them rapidly and I sucked as her juices flowed from her. She screamed around me as her body succumbed and she bit down lightly running her teeth along my shaft pushing me over the edge with her as I spilled into her mouth, shuddering as I filled her.
I turned around and pulled her to my chest hugging her tightly to me as our heavy panting bounced off of the surrounding trees.
"That was….." I trailed off burrowing my nose into her hair.
"Ya…." She breathed, as our hands intertwined with one another.
There were no words. It wasn't just the act of what we just did that had me utterly speechless, it was the power of it. After weeks of turmoil and distance it was us crashing back together and healing as one.
As I pulled my pants back up and fumbled with my shirt, I distractedly watched Bella get dressed. After tonight I wasn't sure how I was not going to push things any further with her. Right not it took every bit of self control I had not to close the space between us and ravish her again. But I needed to do this….no matter what, I couldn't let things get back to how they were the last few weeks, she needed time whether she knew that now or not, and I was going to give it to her, I had no choice.
After we were dressed I scooped Bella up in my arms and carried her home walking at a normal pace enjoying my time with her. As I nuzzled my nose into her hair and breathed her in I sighed in relief and bent down to kiss her lips humming in satisfaction as I tasted our scents mingled together on her skin.
After weeks of pure hell I was finally home.
AN: I really liked this chapter so I hope you did too. Guilt was what was keeping Bella from Edward so once she got all of that off her chest she was able to really be with him again….I thought I'd put that out there before everyone told me she got over it too fast, because she's still hurting but she doesn't have to push him away anymore.
So let me know what you think!!!!
Review, Review, Review
& I'll send Edward your way, come on you know you want him after he's learned his new trick! 69 Reviews maybe? Anyone? :)