~26~

~Chapter Twenty-Six~

There is no other one that can take your place
I feel happy inside when I see your face
I hope you believe me
Because I speak sincerely
and I mean it when I tell you I need you

~Weezer, My Best Friend~

Today is January 17th.

And I've concluded that one of my best friends is neurotic.

Why you ask?

It's because Caroline meant every word of that invitation.

They arrived around ten this morning, snuck into my room, and pinned a banner above the headboard, all without alerting me to their presence.

It's a huge sheet of paper that says: Bonnie's Baby Shower in big, block letters. It's accompanied by a pink-and-white chevron pattern in the background. Caroline must have ordered it before she even made the invitation.

They also sprinkled silver confetti over my bedspread and floor. Little pieces trapped within the fibers of my plush throw rug. Gathered in sparkly piles on the hardwood floor underneath it. And on every possible surface—the desk, dresser, nightstand… it's everywhere. A few gift bags and a lone gift box sit in one of the corners.

When I inquired about them, Care informed me I had to wait until later to see what each present is. Oh, and the huge box is so important that I have to wait until the very end of the night to look inside.

No peeking or begging them to let the secrets out.

No asking why or telling them they did not have to purchase these items. They wanted to do this. So, I have to suck it up and relax.

Enjoy my night of fun, my baby shower, because I deserve it. I, of course, think the exact opposite. But, as I said, you don't challenge Caroline—especially not about a party. It doesn't help that Elena is firmly on her side about the matter. Usually, she agrees with me. Today I am on my own.

So, as I sit in the kitchen (a room over from where the shower is to be held), I go over my sleepover checklist once more in my head.

Popcorn: check. Pizza: Care placed an order to be delivered this evening. Sodas: in the fridge. Apple juice: on the shelf below the Pepsi and Sprite. Because fruit juice lacks one of the things that used to keep me sane, the one thing I relied on to get me through a long night of test prep. Caffeine. I've been trying to wean myself off it, but it's making me miserable. It doesn't help that Damon makes a dramatic show of chugging a bottle of orange soda every day at lunch.

Or that I have to stick to decaf brew on our weekly before-school coffee days.

That I still manage to vomit out fifteen minutes later.

I get a glass of water, sipping it slowly as I eavesdrop on an argument over not buying enough pink balloons, about the blue ones clashing with them, about Caroline's vision being highly specific.

When they call me into the living room, I see that they must've robbed a latex factory to get this many balloons. Some are resting on the floor, while others graze the ceiling. They've decorated a chair with pink streamers and the gifts—excluding the extra-special ones Care pointed out—sit on the coffee table, beside a stack of coasters.

Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling's faces are on the TV screen, paused in the middle of the opening credits. I should have known Caroline's movie choice—and vetoed it—the minute she informed me of tonight's slumber party.

I liked The Notebook before I watched it one-thousand times.

Not so much anymore.

My green eyes settle on the two girls standing in the center of the room. Elena's face is concealed by a huge box wrapped in pink paper. Caroline is holding a gift bag filled to the brim with tie-dye tissue paper.

"What are those for?" I ask, playing dumb, hoping they'll say not you even though we all know differently.

"You, silly!" Caroline trills gleefully.

They finally step off to the side. Leaving their own belongings on the floor, stepping over the massive pile with unsteady feet. Well, the unsteadiness is all Elena. Care clears the obstacle easily, as her vision is unobscured.

"The pizza's in the dining room," Mom informs me when she enters, dressed in a skirt, blouse, and heels. "Your father took care of the tip."

Upon hearing his title, Rudy follows his wife into the area.

"Thanks, Dad." I push the lock of hair that fell out of my ponytail behind my ear, trying not to look him in the eyes.

He simply nods in response, and then, "don't mention it." He sounds as though he means it.

"Now, no wild parties. It's just you three, got it?" Mom is saying that for her husband's benefit, I'm sure.

"Of course not," I assure them. "Have a good time at the movie."

My parents have decided to take the night to "reinvigorate their marriage." This is code for "try to set aside our differing approaches to their only child's teen pregnancy." Things are a bit tense between them, and I've been ignoring it. I also didn't know what to think when Caroline told me that they cleared her idea with Abby and that they wouldn't be home as they planned on having a date night.

"Thank you, sweetie." She says to me. "Have fun, girls!" She calls out to my friends.

"Thank you, Ms. Bennett," they answer in unison.

When they are backing out of the driveway, I turn around. It is time to torment myself with this film. Which, if you ask my blonde-haired friend, is considered a cinematic masterpiece that isn't given enough credit.

And saying anything negative about Ryan Gosling is a cardinal sin in our friendship.

When I reach for the remote, Caroline snatches it.

"Open your presents first," Elena says, leaning over and pushing the box across the table.

"You guys didn't have to do that or any of this. I appreciate it, though." I say. They know I'm not big on presents. Just spending time with them is enough.

"But we did anyway."

I sigh, very carefully removing the lid on the gift box.

"You know, half the reason we get you gifts is to watch your awkward reaction," Caroline quips.

I pretend I don't hear her.

Inside, there is a large, black bag. Twice the size of a normal purse. When I pick it up, I see that there is a pink B embroidered in the middle. It also has many side pockets, of all different sizes. It isn't a handbag like I originally thought, but a diaper bag. Tears spring to my eyes. This is so sweet and overwhelming. I had known I was going to need something like this, among many other things, but I didn't realize it would make me so emotional.

"Thank you," I murmur, wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

Elena gets up from the armchair and joins me on the sofa, placing a hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong, Bon?"

"What if I can't do this?"

"You can," Elena answers soothingly. "It's Damon everyone's worried about. Not you."

"Yeah," Care chimes in. "You'll be the best mom ever! And a total MILF—now open up your other present!"

The colorful bag is thrust into my hands. I take out each piece of tissue paper and fold it neatly, much to Caroline's dismay.

"You know, half the reason I save this stuff is to watch your reaction," I tell her sarcastically. Also, I can re-use this come Christmas, but that's just a bonus.

I can add a set of bottles to my collection now. Along with a pack of pink onesies and a pair of tiny pink shoes.

After I tell them how grateful I am, we partake in the world's longest group hug. It only disbands when Care decides she can't go a second longer without drooling over her favorite actor's good looks.

"It means a lot," I whisper to Elena.

"I know… and we kind of owed you one. I kind of owed you more than one."

"Shush!"

Elena and I have to suppress our giggles. Talking during her favorite movie is the same as betrayal in her book.

"That's it! Next time you pick a movie, it can't be based on a Nicholas Sparks novel."

"I second that," I agree.

Elena only makes it fifteen minutes before she gets up in search of the pizza. She takes her time in the kitchen, returning ten minutes later with three plates. I take mine, picking off all the toppings that will end up giving me heartburn. No pepperoni, sausage, fried onions, or olives for me.

It seems that no matter how hard I press the pause button on my life, it just keeps going and I'm powerless to stop it.

I wake up late the next morning. The sun is shining through the gauzy curtains. Brightly. My alarm clock reads eleven. I prop myself up on my elbows, searching for Elena, who is no longer laying on the blow-up mattress I set up.

Moments later, she comes into my bedroom, hair wrapped in a towel. She's already dressed in an old pair of jeans and a navy-blue t-shirt. Elena grins at me, heading over to my vanity to apply her make-up.

"Morning," she chirps, rubbing moisturizer on her cheeks.

"Morning," I say, yawning.

"How'd you sleep?" she asks, tossing the towel in my hamper.

"Good—considering I slept next to Caroline."

Care is a crazy sleeper—the worst bed partner I've ever had. She hogs the blankets is never still and has a nasty habit of smacking you on the face in the middle of the night.

"I told you it'd be better if she stayed down there," she nods at the spot she ended up with.

"I'll give you that."

Elena turns back to the mirror, suddenly uncomfortable. She fumbles through her bag of toiletries, taking things out, and putting them back in, finally zipping it back up when she no longer had anything to search for.

Then she looks back at me, shoulders squared, determination glinting in her eyes. "Bon?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you said everything is cool… but I don't think it is."

I go over every interaction we've had since we had that dinner with Mehri. I had been firm, had stood my ground, but I told her I was willing to move past our months-long fight. I haven't done or said anything to indicate otherwise… why is she saying this?"

"I told you it was," I say, confused.

She frowns. "I know, but that's the thing… I know you've forgiven me, but—" she takes a deep breath. "I don't feel it is."

"Why?" This still isn't making any sense to me.

"I never actually told you how sorry I am."

No, I don't think she did, but why would that matter now? After all, so much time had passed since then.

"I wasn't at first—that's why, I think. I was just tired of being at odds with Stefan and Damon. I hated when Care would leave because I knew she was going to see you. And, when Stef told me that he was fed up with… my behavior… me… I thought he was just being dramatic."

She pauses, letting her explanation sink in. I want to tell her to stop, that I don't like what she's saying, that it feels like another slap on the face, but she goes on before I can form the words to say that.

"But then I went home and replayed everything that happened in my head. He told me the only reason that I felt so betrayed was that Damon slept with you and I couldn't be the reason he tried to do better anymore. He said he knew I liked Damon more than I let on, but he loved me too much to let it get in the way of our relationship—until that day. And then… he said he wasn't going to be the second choice anymore…" tears are brimming in her eyes.

"And… and I realized that I didn't love Damon like I do Stef. I was in love with the idea that he was willing to change to impress me. And that isn't… it isn't real. Stefan—he's himself and I love him for that—and I am glad he doesn't have the same flaws as Damon... I told him so when I apologized to him and thank God he accepted it. And at dinner… when I saw you two interact, the way Damon looked at you… I was a little sad that he never looked at me like that. Not like he truly loved me. I had come to terms with that, but it wasn't as easy to get over it as I thought it would be… but I'm ready now. I'm sorry, Bon. You've done so much for me our entire lives… the pep talks and how you always stayed by my side when my mom and dad fought and the one time you needed me; I was too selfish to be there."

"Thank you…" I whisper. I'm going to cry any second now, I just know it.

She approaches me slowly, sobbing harder now. I hug her tightly. "… can I still be Aunt Elena?"

"Of course!"

"So, I can finally order the t-shirts?" Care says from behind me.

I say no at the same time Elena says yes.

All three of us dissolve into fits of laughter. Soon, we are crying tears of happiness instead of sorrow. Originally, I had been wary of how a "baby shower" would turn out, but I'm glad Caroline had been so dead set on throwing this party. It had been just what I needed.