Hi. I know it's been years but I was struggling with a lot of health issues. I ended up taking two years off from college and I'm going back this fall. Plus, I got my mental illness pretty much handled now since I got lots of therapy and a great psychiatrist! Here's the first update of the year! Back on weekly updates!
Penn station is huge.
When people spoke about New York City, they always mentioned how rushed, crowded, and loud it was. But stepping off the train into the even larger station, following the flow of the sea of people into the maze of a building- Luke never felt tinier. It's like he's a tiny minnow in a school of fish, helpless against violent ocean waves.
There are dozens of shops throughout the station, and Luke doesn't know where to go next. Signs for subways, buses, the bathrooms, and outside are scattered everyone. The letters mix together, making Luke frown. The bitter scent of coffee melds with the smells of greasy fast food and sweet desserts. The lights from various signs from the restaurants and the rumbling of trains beneath his feet make him feel like he's in a different universe, like the magical one in Harry Potter. A fragment of his mind wonders if the floor would break beneath him.
Luke pauses to stare at a café menu and nearly gets run over. The prices make his jaw drop- $3 for a bottle of water? $8 for a sandwich?! There has to be a water fountain somewhere nearby. Food, he ignores his protesting stomach, he could worry about later.
He feels a push from behind him and finds himself on the floor. A man curses. Luke looks up to stare at the retreating back of the adult who knocked him down and there's a burning behind the boy's eyes. He shakes his head, rubbing his eyes. After everything that happened, he won't cry over a stupid fall. He's not a baby
"Stupid," Luke mutters under his breath. He quickly looks around, half expecting an adult to scold him. Nobody saw, or if they did, they didn't care.
Mom said that Dad works at the Empire State Building- the 600th floor. All Luke has to do is find the stupid building everyone talked about. Find dad and get dad to take him in. Easy.
It is not easy.
Nobody gives him the time of the day. It seemed good for some things, like stealing, but bad when he's asking for directions to the Empire State Building. But when Luke filches a map from a newsstand, it turns out vendors do actually pay attention to him. Luke runs faster than he ever has.
"Thief," the man yells at him as his sneakers pounds into the sidewalk. Luke doesn't know where he's going. The sun is setting as his shadow races alongside him.
Luke's lungs do not like running. As Luke bends over wheezing, he can't help wondering what would happen if cops did manage to catch him. He had probably murdered dozens of people by now. Did Juvie have the death penalty?
He frowns as his stomach pangs in protest of the lack of food. His lungs have not yet adjusted but he's been in the alley for a little too long. He should at the very least look at the map and figure out his way to the stupid building. Or maybe find somewhere to sleep.
Luke will get used to running. He will also get used to hunger.
The first night outside, Luke solely underestimates how cold the night gets.
He ends up pulling on both sets of clothes over the ones he was already wearing. Despite the bright lights from the city that never sleeps, the dark alleys are much much more terrifying. Every little noise seems louder in the dark and the cold fear in his chest meddles with the chill of night. His breaths come out quicker.
He huddles behind a dumpster, his nose wrinkled at the smell. But at least there's shelter from the cool spring wind and he was well hidden. There's a way to escape if somebody grabs him from his left or his right. He squeezes himself into as small of a ball as possible, closes his eyes, and prays for sleep. It comes quickly since he's only nine.
His heartbeat is pounding in his ears when Luke wakes up. Something is tugging at his leg, grabbing at his pants. Something's wrong. It must be monsters again. They haven't stopped chasing him. This time, Luke's prepared for the delusions to come alive once more. What will it be this time?
He feels a sharp pain on his leg and kicks out. There's a small squeak. Luke watches the rat run away with bated breath. A moment passes, then another.
Luke sighs in relief, and squints at what little of the sky he can see from his angle. The sun has begun to rise even if the morning chill still frosts his clothes.
Luke makes it to the stupid building in his stupid clothes with his stupid backpack weighing him down. He's very tired and cranky and it takes much longer than he thought it would to walk to the Stupid Building because the Stupid letters on the STUPID map weren't cooperating.
"Kid. Where are your parents?" The stupid doorman looks unimpressed. Luke glances down at his clothes, there's a big tear in his jeans and he could guess that he stank.
"My dad's upstairs. I'm visiting."
The doorman scowls. "Shouldn't you be in school or something? Even if your dad works here; he's probably busy. Go back to your mom and stay in school kid."
Luke narrows his eyes and holds in a growl. "I'm visiting my dad. He's on the 600th floor."
The doorman chuckled. "There is no 600th floor kid. Read the postcard. There's only 102 stories."
Luke flushes red. Mom had said the 600th floor. Hadn't she? She was adamant it was the 600th floor!
"It's the 600th floor." Luke stomps once as he shouts. "I know it's the 600th floor!"
People turn to stare. The doorman's grin slides off his face. "Get lost kid. There isn't a 600th floor. Go back to school and maybe you'd know that."
Luke storms off with tears in his eyes. Nobody gives him a passing glance.
He's tired, cold, and hungry. So hungry.
He walks pass a McDonalds and before he can think twice about, he confidently grabs a meal at the counter. His body works on autopilot and he doesn't think about who the food is for when he runs out the door, stuffing the white and red paper bag into his backpack. He jogs away, his stomach hurts because it's so empty and he's so hungry. He's thirsty too.
Funnily enough, Luke ends up in a library, despite his hatred of books. He heads into the bathroom, washes his hair and body using copious amounts of paper towels. The hand soap in his hair makes his hair feel and look like straw and Luke didn't pack a comb. He changes into clean clothes as well. Luke frowns at his reflection and his nest of hair but at least he's clean.
There's plenty of tables and comfy chairs for people to read, or for Luke to nap in. The library has air conditioning and it's crowded enough that Luke thinks he'll be safe. He grabs a random book and settles into a beanbag.
He wonders if he should go back home. Mom would be strange, but she would at least give him a hug.
He shakes the thought out of his head and steels himself. He's not going back. He'll go back to the Empire Stupid Building tomorrow to find his dad. He could do this.