Chapter Thirty

Awkward Moments

This is really awkward. I should've just told Keigo that I'll go back with him when he left. Fay walked silently by Takeda's side in the cold night breeze. The walk home was going to be long, but she really needed to clear her mind.

"So how did you do on your assignment?" Takeda asked.

Fay zipped her jacket up to her neck, and crossed her arms as she walked along side him. "I got a 3.4, I guess I did alright then." I'm sure he got a 4.

"I see," he said. "By the way, the gang normally spends winter break with us in Tokyo. They should be arriving in a couple of days; they did mention that they want to hang out with you."

I did have fun with them, but… "I don't think it would be a good idea for me to hang out with you guys."

Takeda sighed, and rubbed his head roughly. "I should've never kissed you. I'm sorry, but please don't let it change anything." He held her hands. "I like us the way we were, it was fun."

Fay watched him with sad eyes. Do you regret kissing me, Ren? She gave him a serious look, and patted his chest. "Please don't say that. I'm glad that you kissed me," she said, walking along the road.

Takeda's face showed surprise, "You know I can't…"

"I know," she said quietly. I know that you can't return my feelings. I just wonder why. Am I not good enough for you?

Takeda stuffed his hands in his jacket's pocket and looked at the floor as he walked along her side. "It's hectic. I need to graduate. I'm also taking care of the twins. Fay, do you know that my mother is under clinical depression? She thinks that Emi is still alive."

That news shocked Fay. No way…

Takeda laughed softly. "She is always in and out of the hospital. She refuses to believe that Emi is dead, and… I really just can't afford a girlfriend right now. The twins need me around. It really took its toll on me when we went to Osaka. I had fun with you, but…" he slumped his shoulders. 'Even now, the only reason father and I were able to go out is because we have relatives over for Christmas and they're taking care of mother and the twins."

Fay stopped walking. "Are you worried that I am going to be a clingy girlfriend?" she asked.

Takeda's cheeks went a bit red.

Fay eyed him seriously. "Ren, you never told me if you liked me. You said that you can't return my feelings, but you never told me if you actually do like me."

Takeda coughed lightly, and looked away. "I can't answer you."

Fay stood in front of him. "Then please stop playing with my feelings. The more time I spend with you, the more I'll like you. I need to keep my distance for now."

He didn't say anything to that.

"I haven't seen anyone seriously in three years, and I want to allow myself to be with others. If you keep popping in, then it will cause an unbalance." Fay answered honestly. "What I like about you is that you're honest and amazing with me. A princess doesn't get to a feel that a lot." She decided to start walking, but he caught her wrist tightly.

Ow… Fay thought, looking at him in surprise.

Takeda brought her closer, and put his hands on her shoulders. "I don't know if I will be able to handle you being with someone else," he said in a shaky voice. I want her to be mine only, but I can't keep her either.

Fay's heart did a somersault. This is a confession, isn't it? but it's not the outcome that I want. "You're very selfish then. You don't want me, yet you don't want anyone else to have me."

He moved a strand of her hair off her face, and lifted her chin gently. "I should've never kissed you," he said. "Since that day I can't…" he said quietly. Takeda cupped her cheeks with his leather gloves, and pulled Fay towards him. "I don't know. You have this terrible hold on me," he said angling his lips against her but not quite kissing her. "I felt that I needed to explain…"

His close approximate was making Fay a bit nervous, but she decided to be honest. "I still like you, but I'm not going to waste my time if you can't return my feelings." she said upfront.

"You can't like me. I have a lot going on. I won't have the time to spoil you properly." He explained, still cupping her face.

Fay could feel his cold breath on her face. If I just lean forward, I can kiss him. She closed her eyes, and breathed the cold air in. "Then you're just a coward, you're afraid of losing me before even having me" she said quietly.

She held the hand that was cupping her face and looked seriously at him. Fay moved closer and kissed him lightly. Their cold lips warmed each other for a few minutes, until she pulled away slightly. "Now that wasn't so bad..." She whispered. She moved away from him, and walked towards her house. Takeda didn't make any attempt to follow her through the driveway.

Fay felt the tears flow even stronger now. Was I rejected again? She thought. She arrived at her home, and the butler opened the door for her. It was already 11PM, and her father caught her coming in. "Fay? You were still not home?" he asked shocked.

Fay just walked towards him, and hugged him tightly.

Mitsuru was surprised as she hugged him, and he heard her cry lightly. He knew his daughter was strong but for her to cry like this surprised him.

"Don't ask," she said quietly after she moved away from him. "I just needed a hug." She left the entrance, and walked to her room.

Akari witnessed the scene as well. "Is this why you invited me over Mitsuru?" she asked.

Mitsuru sighed. "Yes, I know she needs to talk to someone. Who would've thought that she would like Jin's son."

Who would've thought indeed, Akari thought.