Chapter 2
I do not know how long I had been in this attic. I sat in the darkest recesses of the room with no lights, no windows and no doors. I got into the space through a trapdoor in the floor. Blackness was what I deserved. I did not deserve to have any light in my life since I let the light of my life alone. I left her to protect her. I needed to protect her from my world. I am a dangerous monster and I do not deserve such an angel. I deserve nothing but dark and dank and death. I should be rotting in the ground. I did not deserve to exist on this plain. I was worthless. She did not need to waste her time on someone as vile as me. My beautiful, kind and pure Isabella deserved more.
When my angel first entered my life I knew immediately what she was. Isabella, or Bella as she prefered, was my mate. But I rebelled against it. I did not want to damn her to this half life. She should have so much better than the existence that I was created into. So, I was cruel to her and I pushed her away. I ran away from her. I tried to escape her tantalizing smell and her mesmorizing eyes but they haunted me every day. Every single second I was away from her and I knew it would not stop until I went back to her and begged her that I was wrong and wanted to be some part of her life, no matter how small it was. Like a dog, I went back with my tail tucked between my legs and introduced myself to her and tried to become something in her life. Bella readily and eagerly accepted me back into her life. Still I warred with myself that she needed something better, something more than what I had to offer her or what I would someday take from her. Bella surely was destined for more than I could ever offer.
I could not make myself stay away. The cruel irony of life was the day that child Tyler almost ran her over with his van. I had to save her. I could not let her life be extinguished when she had not had the chance to experience all the things that this world had to offer her. My family was not happy with what I was doing; I could hear them in my head yelling at me for inhumanly speeding to her. Alice was the only exception. Alice had seen what Bella was to me and often told me to stop being an idiot and just accept fate. The others, Jasper and Rosalie, wanted me to kill her since she had witnessed what I could do and of all the laws Volturi wanted kept, it was the secrecy of the vampire kind that was the utmost important to keep. I had failed miserably at this. I honestly don't care. Bella simply could not die so young.
I had to save her yet again when I followed her to Port Angelos and some rapist had cornered her in a dark alley. I then took her to meet her friends at a restaurant but ended up dining alone with her. We talked a great deal about so many different things. I revealed to her that I could read minds to which she asked if something was wrong with her because she couldn't read hers. She bewitched many in that one meeting. Later Bella explained, after she had done some research which included flirting with the mutt, that she knew what I was but would not tell anyone. She said that she did not care and she was not afraid. This is where romance began. . It was comforting to know that I could just be me around her. It was nice to just be. With Bella, it was so easy to just be myself and the love that I had for her simply blossomed more and more with each passing day. Once I introduced her to the family, they too loved her. Well, Rosalie still did not care for her but it was simply sour grapes. She was bitter that I had picked a human over her. Which in all honesty did not even matter since she had found her mate ages ago. Rosalie simply did not like to lose. But I had my mate and that was all that mattered.
Fate can be so cruel. It was something as simple as a baseball game with my family. Alice had not foreseen any problem until it was too late. The nomads were upon us before I could escape with Bella. That bastard James thought my darling love was my pet and a snack for us all. The hunt was on. He would not stop until he had his prize: my Bella. Like Hell that was ever going to happen. We chased that rat bastard and his unholy female all over the Pacific northwest area to no avail. James had escaped to the one place I did not want him to go: Phoenix, where my love was. Alice and Jasper had her with them in Phoenix until Bella gave them the slip. James had her convinced that he had her mother. It was all a lie. But Bella was willing to sacrifice her life so her mother could live and she was severely injured in the process. I was luckily barely able to make it in time. James had bitten her when I arrived. I wanted to destroy him but I had to save my love. There are times when I sit in the dark wondering if it would have been better if I had let the venom do its work. Then she would be with me. We would have been together and everything would have been wonderful. But what if's never solves anything. I did suck the venom out of her arm without killing her but just barely. Bella's blood was the sweetest ambrosia that I ever had the privilege of tasting.
Best not to linger on that thought. I will not be hunting for several more hours and humans did pass by this house. We were happy after she came back from Phoenix. I managed to talk her into the prom after all. She was lovely in the blue dress. Blue is most assuredly her color. All was well until her birthday party. A party that Bella did not want to have. She hated to be the center of attention. Although she is absolutely the center of my everything. But I digress. It ended up a complete and utter disaster that caused the downfall of our relationship. Let me be honest, it was all me. I caused the ending of it by saying cruel things to her. By lying and telling her I did not want her nor did I love her. I told the woman that I love with all my heart, mind and soul that I did not love her. What kind of sick bastard does such a thing to the woman he loves? It had broken me that I had broken her and then, in turn, I broke the family. I made them all leave without word one to her and then I left them. I chased Victoria for a while but she kept avoiding me. I chased her to Rio and here I stayed since, in this attic, in the inky blackness because it was what deserved.