Chapter 4

I could not believe my eyes. In the three years that he had been gone, Edward had not changed one bit. Again I don't know why I thought he would. He was a vampire and forever as he was frozen. I barely had my helmet off and there he was right in front of me. From the bottom of the front porch steps to standing about an inch from my face. His sweet breath washed over me and I was transported back to a time when it was just the two of us and our sweet all consuming love. His eyes were almost black which meant he was either needing to hunt or he was overly happy to see me. Then again it could have been both. I knew he smelled Jake on me and may have even known that I was expecting but right now I did not care. I was in shock. Why was he here and what did he want? Why now when he did not care before?

"Why?" I asked, stopping him from touching my face and coming any closer.

"I . . . ," Edward began before I cut him off.

"No, you don't get to talk. I think you said enough before you left me in the woods so long ago. Why would you bother to come back if you don't want me, if you don't love me and if you have your distractions? I think . . .,"

But I didn't get to finish my sentence as Edward had crossed the space and put one hand in my hair and the ther around my waist and I was powerless to him. I didn't want to resist but I did. I let him pull me to him and I let his lips crash into mine and I let his cool sweet tongue tangle with my warm one. I pulled him to me and prayed for me to stop needing to breathe so I would not have to break this kiss. Yet I wanted to smash his face and push him away with all my might. I wanted to punch him so hard that he would feel it and it would make his teeth rattle when I hit him like that. But I knew I could not because of his marble-like skin it would break my own hand. I'd get Jake to do it but I did not want to think about Jake right now. I only wanted to think about Edward's lips on mine and the feel of his cold body pressed intimately against mine. It molded with my flesh rather than rejecting it. It was like pieces of a puzzle that fit so well together. They simply fall into place. I slipped my legs over his hips and joined my arms around his neck and pulled myself flush with his form. I was drowning in his arms. I never wanted to leave. I wanted to stay connected to Edward just like this. But I was human and I did need to breathe and my limbs were starting to protest as well. I slowly untangled myself from his body and slid down his frame until my feet touched the ground and I felt the effect that I had on him as I glided back down his body which was something I never noticed before. I looked up into his coal black eyes that I knew meant that he was absolutely happy to see me. It seems that I affected him just as much as he did me.

"I see some things have changed," I finally said.

"How do you mean?" Edward asked.

"Uh, well, you see, I . . I mean, I never . . . or you never and we . . . never . . . ," I sputtered.

He looked at me for a moment and then I could tell when it dawned on him what I was referring too. Edward smiled his crooked smile which had the ability to turn me into goo.

"Ah. Well, it always happened. I was just better at hiding things before."

"And now?"

"Now I don't want to."

"Really?"

"Does that bother you?"

"Uh, no, no I don't suppose it does."

"That's good to hear. It will probably happen a lot actually."

I blushed. Wait! Did that mean he was staying around? Did that mean he expected me to? What did this all mean?

"Wait! Wait! Just wait!" I yelled as I held up my hands. "We have to talk. I mean a lot. You can't expect to waltz in here and kiss me and expect everything to poof! Go back to the way it was before you broke us, me, into tiny pieces. There are a lot of things I need to know, a lot of things you need to hear, and there's just too much to do right now!"

Edward stepped back and looked at me sadly. "You are correct. There is much we need to discuss. Would you like to come inside or did you plan to stay out here the whole time? Why are you here?"

"I come here to think. The pack does not come around here very often and I sit on the porch and clear my head. Think about how things used to be, how they could have been and what a mess I have now. You do know that my life is a mess, of your doing. It was what you wanted and now I do not want this. I do not want any of it. The only thing, the only person I ever wanted left me in the middle of the woods to God knows what end. Did you even care what you did to me? Did you lie when you said you didn't need me, didn't want me and didn't love me? Were they just words to you then or they just words to now? Do you need me, want me and love me now? Did you then? Well, ANSWER ME!" I screamed.

Edward looked startled. I didn't care. I wanted answers and only he could give them to me. He came closer and offered his hand.

"Let's go inside where it would be more comfortable than standing around out here. If that is okay with you," he asked.

"It's fine," I answered as I took his hand and walked with him to the front porch and then inside the house I once felt as my other home.

AUTHOR NOTE: Don't get use to two chapters a day. I'm just being nice. This is not prewritten and they are giving it to me on the fly. Also it is unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine. I hope you enjoy and I might have an update tomorrow. It all depends on Edward and Bella and if my homework is done.