Dlbn: Hey there, everyone! Time for another (pretty long) update.

Nbld: Just got the good news that the state is going to help me pay my back rent and I'm not going to end up Homeless for Christmas as originally thought.

Dlbn: And I'm going to get more hours at my second job since someone unfortunately got fired and their hours are up for grabs for everyone.

Nbld: So we're going to be busy, which is fine. I'll still update every weekend from work, maybe once and a while during the week since my phone can now be used as a WiFi hostspot.

Dlbn: No promises.

Nbld: What we can promise, though, is that we'll stop rambling and get on with the Review Corner! Thank you to Zim'sMostLoyalServant and Invader Johnny for viewing! Cookies for you both!

Zim'sMostLoyalServant: Thanks! I don't mean to bash Jessica, since I don't mind her character in the show at all, but there's gotta be a little tension here and there, right? ;)

Invader Johnny: Which is a good thing for him now, but like all good things, it won't last forever~

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING but the plot and some non-canon characters. Everything canon belongs to Jhonen C. Vasquez. I make NO money off writing this fic.

000

Zim pushed open the blue-green door to his neon green house with a purple roof. The house had been surrounded by a wooden fence, and a few peculiar looking lawn gnomes decorated the lawn. They seemed to follow Lahna with their eyes as she approached the door with her brother.

"I'm going to warn you now, my SIR has a few bugs." He informed.

She nodded. "Okay…" She inched closer to him. "As long as I get away from these creepy things."

He laughed and looked to the gnomes. "She's Irken, relax." He ordered.

They turned away from her and looked back at the road. She shuddered and followed him inside.

"Make yourself comfortable." He dropped his backpack by the door and shut it behind her.

"Strange place you have here, brother…" She informed, looking around.

There was a framed painting of a large, lime green monkey attached to one wall, overlooking a dark pink couch and staring directly at a large black TV that sat on the floor. The walls inside were the same lime green as the outside.

"Yeah…my equipment was…slightly defective…when I used it to make my house…"

"He drew it by hand and threw the drill into a crater. I doubt it was going to turn out well." A metallic voice informed her.

"Your computer?" She wondered.

"Yeah." Zim nodded.

"Hey." The computer informed, sounding bored.

"Hey there."

"Where's GIR?" Zim wondered.

"Downstairs in his play room, making easy bake food…"

"Oh, good. He won't bother us for a while then."

"Unless I tell him you're home."

"Don't you dare." Zim glared up at the ceiling. "This girl is a guest here so be nice and don't torture her with GIR, of all things."

"She must be special for you to bring her here and not want me to use GIR to scare her away."

She flushed.

"This is my little sister." Zim informed. "Of course she's special. Now give us privacy?" He flopped down on the couch next to her.

"I thought your sister was a baby."

"Aya's four." Lahna informed.

"This is Lahna. I have a sixteen-year-old sister, too, remember? We've gone over this."

"I don't remember half of what you tell me. Mostly because I just don't care."

Zim rolled his eyes. "Gee, thanks. Now get lost."

"Yes, Master."

She heard the computer power down.

"Your computer is a sarcastic little douche, isn't he?"

"You got that right." Zim laughed. "Wait unit you meet my SIR unit…"

"Did you name it GIR?"

"No, he powered up and said 'GIR, reporting for duty'. So I call him GIR."

"What does the G stand for, though?"

"He didn't know, so neither do I."

She laughed at him. "Oh, Aiyies, that's so you." She said, shaking her head softly.

He smiled a little. "Alright, so what's going on? I know there's no way mom and dad would have, or could have, sent you down here just to see me."

"Well…mom and dad overheard me talking with friends about the war." She started. "And I said that the military needs to stop now before more innocent people get killed. I meant like our soldiers. The Invaders and whatnot, like you."

He nodded, though she could tell something was wrong. Maybe he did know…?

"And they took it as me being a traitor and brought me to the Seoul Military Base and turned me over." She sighed. "The General banished me here."

Zim's jaw was set as he cocked his head to the side lightly and put a hand on her knee. "I have to ask you something, and you need to be honest with me, okay? It's very personal, but bear with me."

She nodded. "Sure…"

"The guards down there have been known to…do…things to female prisoners, if you know what I mean…?"

She nodded, swallowing hard. "I understand."

"Did they…do anything to you…?"

"Um…"

"Lahna."

"Define 'anything'?"

"They call it 'breaking'. I call it disgusting." He replied. "And I'm not the only one that says so."

She nodded. "Yeah, I understand."

"So…did they…?"

She looked away. "Can we not talk about it?"

"We can't not talk about it." He denied.

"There's nothing you can do about it anyway, Aiyies…" She informed him softly.

"So they did."

"One did…"

Zim nodded. "I'm sorry to have to ask you that, but I've heard things, and…"

"I understand. But there's nothing you can do. You can't just up and abandon your post and go after them or anything. The Tallest would have you on probation before you know it."

"I know." Zim sighed. "I just wanted to know…"

She nodded.

"So…how was your trip?"

"It was fine, thanks. My computer is pretty nice."

"Lucky."

She giggled. "I had to tell her a dozen times or so to stop calling me 'Mistress', though."

"Yeah, they're very respectable things." Zim glared at his ceiling again. "Most are, anyway. Mine is a disrespectful ass. I have to do some work on its wiring one of these days and find the problem."

"Just don't get hurt doing that…"

"I won't." Zim shook his head.

"So, what have you been up to down here? I see you have new friends…"

"Yeah, they're pretty nice." He shrugged.

"Nothing like the old gang, though, right? No more fighting, drinking, smoking, and women for you." She laughed.

"Pretty much. You get used to it, though, I think."

She shrugged. "Maybe. What else has been going on?"

"I don't know. Just the usual Military stuff. To blend in, I had to get a job here, but that's okay. I need something to keep my mind occupied when I'm not doing work for the Empire or going to school."

"Yeah, Gram mentioned a job you had. Something about a grocery store?"

"Yeah, I'm a cashier." He blushed. "Not a glamorous job, but I'm a 'high schooler' here, so I can't get much else."

"You only have a year left here right?" She wondered. "So you can go to college after that and get a real job? Well, if you're here that long for your mission, anyway."

"I don't think I will be." He shook his head.

"Good." She smiled. "Though I guess not good, because I won't see you again since you'll have to leave."

If he didn't know, she wasn't going to be the one to tell him.

000

Lahna had been at her brother's home for three hours before he walked her back to her own residence. He had offered for her to move in, but she figured her new friends would find it suspicious and politely turned down the offer. They exchanged phone numbers so she could call him if she needed him outside of school. Once he got back from dropping her off, he found seven missed calls on his answering machine; one from his straight-edge friend Mike back home, and the rest from his grandmother. It wasn't the weekend, so he was a little confused as to why she was calling him. But at the same time, he was alarmed that something had happened. He didn't know why she didn't just call his cell phone instead, but he didn't question it as he used his house phone to give her a call back. He didn't bother to listen to the messages first.

"Hey, gram." He greeted her. "I saw you called…"

"Oh, Zim, something terrible has happened!" She said, sounding like she was sobbing. "Your parents turned your sister over to the military and…"

"It's okay, Gram, I know everything." Zim replied, glad that that was all it was that was upsetting her. "She was banished, not executed."

"Oh, thank god!"

"Don't worry, okay? They sent her here. I've got her."

There was a pause.

"Good." She said at last. "I don't want her off on her own like that. I know you can handle yourself, but Lahna…"

"Is a miniature me and can kick some ass when she needs to." Zim stated. "Don't worry about her so much, okay? I'm here with her."

"Is she there now? Can I talk to her?"

"She doesn't want to stay here because it will make my friends suspicious. She has her own place, but I know she'll end up coming back here eventually to stay for good."

"Don't your friends know she's your sister?"

"I didn't know myself until after school and she called me Aiyies."

Gram chuckled. "That's the best way to tell."

"She almost yelled at me for calling her 'Little Lahna', but then it clicked." Zim laughed. "She's a hyper little ball of energy. What's gotten into her? I don't remember her being like that before…"

"She's changed since you were gone." Gram stated. "She's still a little spitfire with an attitude problem, like you were, but she's a little more carefree and doesn't care much about what anyone else has to say."

"That's Lahna for you." Zim chuckled. "Good to know she hasn't completely changed. Are her friends okay?"

"They're fine."

"Any guys I need to know about?"

"No, Mina." She laughed. "Didn't she tell you about any of that?"

"No, she didn't mention it, and I didn't think to ask. I didn't think she'd answer me."

"She probably wouldn't because she knows how protective of her you are."

"Yeah, I get a bit over the top sometimes, I admit, but she's my sister." He shrugged. "Which is why I can understand why Zayena's brother decked me when he found out I cheated on her and I can't be mad at him for it. I'd do the same thing if I were in his position."

Zayena was his most recent ex-girlfriend, and the only one he'd really been in love with. Out of all the women he'd been with, he only respected a few and actually gave a damn about even less. Sila, Lahna, Zayena, Amber, Brianna, and his human friends were the only exceptions to his rule. They were the only women he respected enough not to hurt (beyond the one time cheating on Zayena, that is). His respect for Sila was the reason he wouldn't hook up with her, even though it was painfully obvious that they had feelings between them and everyone tried to prod them to get together. He'd probably get back with Zayena before he ever tried once with Sila. Even though the two of them had had a pregnancy scare when he was sixteen and she was fifteen, they hadn't broken up until he moved in with his Grandmother the next city over. He did still love her and missed her presence, but he knew it was for the best. She had been a good girl before they met in a club all those years ago, him being fifteen and she being fourteen at the time.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Mina. I just wanted to…"

"It's not a problem, Gram. I'm glad you were worried enough to check up on her."

"Of course." She sighed. "I'll let you go so you can rest, okay? Don't forget to call me this weekend. And have your sister do the same!"

"I will." He chuckled. "Don't worry."

"Take care of her."

"Don't I always?"

She laughed. "You're right, what was I thinking? Goodnight, Mina."

"Goodnight, Gram." Zim hung up a few seconds after she did and flopped back onto the couch.

Their grandmother was the only adult that really gave a rat's ass about either of the Haven siblings. His elder brother was missing, so he didn't count, though he'd spent most of his life trying to raise Zim and Lahna, himself, as their parents were never very attentive to their children.

Zim felt his eyes begin to slide shut and didn't fight it as sleep overtook him.

000

The next day at school, Lahna happily bound into her classroom and took a seat next to her brother, who was almost asleep on the desk.

"Wakey, wakey." She greeted him, poking him with a pencil.

"Call Gram later." He muttered, not caring since the classroom was mostly empty.

"Well, that's random."

He sat up, rubbing his left eye. "She left seven messages when I was walking you home. She thought you were executed."

Her face fell. "She did? Oh…I should give her a call…I don't know if I can, though. My cell is limited…"

"Use my house phone."

She smiled again. "Thanks, Aiyies."

"No problemia." He shrugged.

She watched as Gretchen trudged over to her seat behind Zim, looking as if she'd just been bitten by a puppy and hit by a bus.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Lahna asked her, turning to face the lilac haired girl.

"Nothing." Gretchen sighed, slumping over her desk and leaning on her folded arms. "Why does Dee have to have a locker so close to mine?"

"Were they doing something they shouldn't have been doing in school?" Zim wondered, slinging an arm over the back of his chair to pat her gently on her arm.

"I don't mind PDA, but it's hard seeing the person you love…"

"Swapping saliva with a fork tongued she-devil?"

Gretchen laughed a little, her shoulders convulsing with the action before she sat up to smile and wipe away a crystalline tear.

"Thanks, Zim, I needed a laugh."

"That's what I'm here for." He stated. "Want me to go say something?"

"Oh, don't go through the trouble…"

Zim stood. "No trouble at all." He winked. "Be right back." He tapped the desk twice.

"Don't worry." Lahna stated. "Zim's a master at interrupting awkward situations as awkwardly as possible. Or so he says."

"When did he say this?"

"Yesterday." Lahna covered it up with a partially thought out lie.

"Oh. When was that?"

"We took the same bus and were talking."

"Oh, that's nice." Gretchen smiled. "I take the same bus as him in the morning. I think he was late, though."

"Or early."

"Maybe."

Zim chuckled and stopped eavesdropping as he exited the classroom. The halls were still pretty crowded, being that it wasn't even time for homeroom to begin. He spotted Dib and Dee easily by the girl's locker. They seemed to be enjoying it, and a few people had stopped to check out the show but were quickly moving on.

"Ah, isn't it wonderful, Zim?" Torque wondered, putting a meaty hand on the ex-gangster's shoulder.

"Isn't what wonderful?" Zim cocked an eyebrow at him, glaring at his hand to warn him away.

"Your friend Dib, moving on up in the popularity food chain day by day? Just being with Dee is giving him a lot of credit from underclassmen. We're even considering taking him in as one of our own." Torque chuckled. "I think you're going to miss him."

"I miss him already." Zim stated flatly.

Torque laughed. "You know, you could be one of us, too."

"I'd rather choke on my own tongue."

"Fine, whatever, man. Your loss." Torque shrugged.

"Look, I don't like it either." Jessica stated from the footballer's side. "A popular freshman and an unpopular junior hooking up like that? Totes gross. But they chose who they want, and it's one another, so we all have to deal with it." She sighed. "He's not much for conversation or social gatherings yet, but he'll get there. He just needs a makeover. I know you may never understand it, Zim, but this is a big opportunity for him, and it would be a shame if he wasted it."

"Sometimes the biggest opportunities are the least favorable." Zim replied, giving her a look. "Why should social status matter more than loyalty and friendship, hm?"

"You're naïve."

"How so?"

"Popularity is everything in high school!"
"I wouldn't know. Never went to one before." He stated flatly, not caring if they bought it or not.

He had dropped out as a junior back home, but that didn't mean he'd never been to high school. He was just on the top of the chain from the start.

"Never too late to learn." Jessica twirled platinum blonde hair around her finger. "Maybe you should find a popular girl to hook up with, too, and you can join him."

"No thank you." He was disgusted. "My heart belongs to someone already, and it certainly isn't one of your cronies."

"Then miss out." Jessica stated. "Whoever has your heart, I pity her."

"Yeah. I do too."

Finally sick of talking with the most airheaded people he knew, Zim left it at that and walked over to the couple in question. He clapped a hand on each of their shoulders.

"Lunch isn't til later, kiddos." He greeted.

They separated.

"Geeze, Zim, can you be any more of a creep?" Dee complained.

Zim shrugged. "I don't know. Would you wanna find out?" He winked.

"Dude, I'm right here." Dib complained, folding his arms over his chest. "What's up?"

"Just thought I'd interrupt before you both got a taste for human flesh and went all cannibal on us."

"Ew!" Dee complained. "Ugh, see, Dib, this is the kind of thing I was talking about."

"Yeah, I know." Dib sighed. "Could you let us be, Zim? I'll talk to you in homeroom."

"Kind of thing she was talking about, eh?" He cocked an eyebrow. "Sounds juicy. Better not let your groupies know about it Dee. Jessica has one of the biggest mouths in the world." He glanced at Torque. "Fortunately for him, anyway…"

"Gross." Dee complained. "Can we go somewhere else, Dib?"

"Yeah, sure." He grinned and took her hand. "See you in homeroom, Zim."

The couple walked off hand in hand, Dee's head on Dib's shoulder. Zim fought back an involuntary shudder and the urge to vomit.

"He's an idiot." A voice said from behind Zim.

He jumped and turned. Gaz and Iggins stood behind him, playing a game via a USB cable between their systems.

"God, Gaz, don't do that." Zim glared at the younger girl. "I agree, though."

"How's Gretchen taking it?" Iggins wondered.

"You know that she…?"

"Almost everyone in our group but Dib knows, Zim." Gaz snorted. "Captain Oblivious, I swear to god. Didn't even see the look on her face when he said hi to her this morning and she rushed away from them."

Zim groaned. "No wonder she looks upset…"

"Upset?" Gaz paused her game, earning a shout of protest from Iggins. "Quiet, whiner. You were losing anyway."

He huffed. "Fine, but make this quick! I don't want to put it off until lunch!"

"This won't take but a moment." Zim informed him. "Yeah, she was lying down on the desk for a bit. I got her to laugh and sit up, but she looks like hell. Lahna picked up on it the moment she entered the classroom."

"Shit." Gaz cursed, shoving her game into her pocket. "It's not that I give a shit, and don't start thinking that I do…"

"The thought never crossed my mind." Zim shrugged.

"But she may need some cheering up. Or a rebound or something."

"I don't think you'd call it a rebound since she was never with him…"

"Not the point." Gaz glared, opening her eye a little for once to show off the honey colored iris that matched her brother's. "Take her out or something."

"I don't like…"

"I know that, moron." Gaz stated. "I see how you look at Lahna, idiot."

Zim groaned. "Please tell me you're the only one that thinks that."

"I second the notion!" Iggins piped up.

Zim rolled his eyes. "Lahna's a childhood friend, that's all. We're close."

"Ah. Then I don't understand humans."

"That's not a shocker." Iggins snorted.

She punched his shoulder. Zim laughed.

"Its fine, whatever." He stated. "Maybe the whole gang should get together and do something. Preferably without your brother and his salivating lapdog."

"That imagery is something I never want to see again." Iggins complained, harshly rubbing his closed eyes with his palms.

Gaz chuckled. "I can see Dee being a poodle…"

"Reasoning?"

"She probably spends more time primping then remembering she's a dog."

Zim laughed. "I was thinking more of a Chihuahua."

"Reasoning?"

"She never shuts up."

"I second that one." Iggins stated. "Maybe she's a mutt."

Gaz smirked. "Explains her taste in men."

"Gaz, that's your brother." Zim stated.

"So?"

He shrugged. "Alright, whatever then."

"Good." She pulled her game out. "Now go back to Gretchen. Iggins, I'm not waiting forever for you."

He eagerly pulled out his game system.

Zim left the gamers with a quick goodbye before going back to the classroom. Lahna and Gretchen were still talking. The braces bearing girl looked happier now then she had when she first entered the classroom. She smiled at Zim as he sat down.

"How did it go?"

"I broke them apart, said something Dee didn't like, and they went off to be a nuisance elsewhere." Zim shrugged. "I was very polite, so I don't see why she's so mad."

"I don't know what crawled up her behind." Gretchen stated. "She's been like that as long as we've known her."

"I'm aware." Zim nodded.

"What did she say, other than leaving?" Lahna asked.

"She said, 'see, Dib, this is the kind of thing I was talking about'."

"What kind of thing?" Gretchen wondered. She covered her mouth. "Oh no, what did you say to them?"

"I said 'just thought I'd interrupt before you both got a taste for human flesh and went all cannibal on us'."

Lahna laughed, politely covering her mouth, as Gretchen's jaw dropped a bit.

"That's terrible, Zim!" She complained.

"But hilarious." Lahna chuckled.

"Hey, I could have said worse, believe me." Zim shrugged innocently.

"That's true."

"Also, Gaz says he's an idiot, Dee is a poodle, and we should all hang out outside of school." Zim offered. "Without Dib and Dee."

"I see nothing wrong with neither those plans nor that comparison." Lahna laughed.

"I'd think Dee is more like a Chihuahua."

"Because she never shuts up?"

"Yup."

"I said the same thing. Iggins offered that she's a hybrid."

The girls laughed.

"Good morning!" Keef called into the classroom, poking his head in. "There's all my lovelies!" He bounded over and handed each of his friends a card.

"What's this, Keef?" Gretchen wondered.

"Well, since she's one of us now, I thought we should have a welcoming party for Lahna, here."

"Sounds great." Lahna happily took the offer. "Thanks, Keef."

"No problemo, sister!" Keef giggled.

"Oh…um…" Gretchen paused. "Keef…? Could you not invite Dib and Dee? They'll spend the entire time…"

"Sucking face?"

"Yeah…"

"I wasn't going to. I feel bad not inviting Dib at least, but that means Dee will show up uninvited."

"Tell her she's not invited then." Zim stated. "I'll do it."

"Dib won't tell her no, though, so he'll skip out. It's best just to not ask." Keef waved it off.

"Alright." Zim shrugged. "If that's what you think is best."

"I know he's your bestest friend in the entire world, Zim, and I don't want to cut him out either just because of her, but…"

"They'll probably have a date that day anyway." Zim stated. "Or as we'd call it back home…"

"Playing house?"

"I was going to say being freaking lazy, but okay." Zim stated.

Lahna giggled.

"It's settled then. Party is this Saturday, one PM until 9 PM or whenever people have to go home. I know Zim doesn't have a curfew, so maybe we can make it a sleepover?"

"Coed?" Gretchen paled.

"We're all friends, Gretch." Zim stated. "Girls will sleep in a separate room. Us guys can just sleep on the living room floor."

Keef nodded. "Or in my room."

"True."

"Uh oh, lover boy alert." Keef stated.

The three of them quickly hid their invitations under themselves, and Keef shoved his stack into his backpack. Dib joined them, smiling slightly.

"A lovely morning, isn't it?" He greeted, sitting his bag down by his desk and slipping into it.

"Yeah, just peachy." Zim stated flatly, in contrast to Dib's peppy, airy tone.

"Isn't it? Love is in the air."

"In about five seconds, my breakfast is going to be in the air if you don't stop that."

"What's gotten into you, man?" Dib wondered. "You seem…standoffish…"

"Gee, you think?" Zim wondered. "I don't mean to, Dib, but you're too peppy for early morning."

Dib laughed. "Right, I forgot. You're not a morning person."

Gretchen grabbed her invitation and slipped it to Zim under the desk. Luckily, Dib didn't notice as Zim lifted up a bit to sit on it, changing his position slightly.

"I don't feel too good." She stated. "I'm going to go to the nurse and get some medicine. I'll be back."

"Want someone to walk you?" Lahna offered, also slipping the invitation to Zim.

"Could you?"

"Sure." Lahna grabbed her things as Gretchen grabbed hers. "See you boys later."

"Bye-bye." Keef waved. "Feel better, Gretch."

"Thanks." She smiled gently and the girls left together.

"Was it something I said?" Dib wondered. "She seemed fine…"

"Girls, huh?" Keef giggled.

"No, I don't think it was anything you said." Zim stated.

It was more of what you didn't say.

"You sure? Cause…"

"Very." Zim nodded. "She's just…worried…that now that you have Dee, that, well, it won't be long before you don't have us."

"What?" Dib sat back. "You guys think I'm going to ditch you?"

Zim shrugged. "It's not that." He stated. "Forget I said anything. Torque and Jessica got in my head, that's all." He shook his head and picked at his ear. "Can't seem to reach 'um…"

Dib sighed. "Want me to talk to them?"

"No. They won't listen anyway." Zim waved them off. "Just do me a favor? Don't let the popularity they're dangling in front of your face change you, a'ight?"

"Uh yeah."

Zim nodded. "Then no worries. So, you two ready for the math exam this afternoon? I think I studied enough."

"Yeah, I think I'll be okay."

"Me too." Keef agreed. "I don't think I'll get an A, but I'm gonna try my best!"

"That's all you can do." Zim nodded, smiling politely as if he cared about the exam or his friend's grades.

The first bell of the day rang and their teacher, a spider-like woman named Mrs. Pungent, slithered in and called for silence. Keef quickly rushed to his seat as the day began.