Hi... I tried to get this in as quickly as possible but that failed miserably. I've been busy with my birthday and finals quickly sneaking up on everyone. I've been studying my ass off.

I'd like to thank mysteryred, Skyress98 and NonieBee for flollowed and/or favoriting. I honestly though no one pays attention to this fanfic anymore.

And a special thank you for I Love Kittens Too- thank you for reviewing every single chapter when i was so close to giving up on this. But I'm not. You are very much appreciated. Thank you!

Enjoy...

Song for this chapter- If It Means A Lot To You ~ A Day To Remember

Later that day...

Drunken Night

~Lilly's POV~

It was a little after 5 when Mikey and Raph left. I was all done with my homework, so all that I had to do was shower and wait for my mother and John to return. I couldn't sleep when my mom would pull this crap. My mind would always race as to where they were heading, with who, if they were okay...things like that.

Throughout the rest of the night, I kept thinking about Mikey's visit. I was wondering if I did the right thing, telling Raph that I would be here if he wanted to talk about anything that was bothering him. I knew he was obviously annoyed or weirded out by my offer. I didn't expect it either. Usually if I don't like a guy I won't even look at him but in this case I offered to be his...therapist.

I shouldn't have even talked to him because half the time he was there, he was silent, occasionally rolling his eyes when Mikey would tell a cute little joke.

As I sat there watching tv, I kept thinking that maybe it was a stupid decision to offer anything that he wasn't even going to do any time soon. Or at all.

"Quit thinking about it dumbass." I cursed myself. "You're just going to drive yourself crazy."

I began to shake my leg, or twirl my hair...or do something to distract my thoughts. Why was I even thinking about it too much? I wish I knew.

I got up and decided that if I couldn't distract myself with little things, maybe I could do something big like take a shower. I needed it anyways.

I got up, went to my room to get all the things I needed, then headed to the bathroom. The cool water would settle my mind probably...

Hopefully...

When I got out, I wrapped the towel around my body and headed to my room. Just as I was about to close the door, the front door opened.

I heard two voices but none of them belonged to men. So I went to check.

"Aniya, can you stand right?" I heard Christine's voice say.

I peeked from my room and saw my mom's arm around Christine's neck, her legs barely standing on the ground. Her hair was all disheveled, her dress was all twisted and her high heels were in her hands. It didn't take me long to figure that she was drunk. Oh jeez...

Christine set her down on the couch. "We could have gotten arrested because of you."

My mother whined, "I don't care!"

"Christine?"

Christine fixed her hair and her dress. "You got her?"

I looked at both of them. "You guys looked like you fought someone." They both had scratched on their arms and their knuckles were bruised.

Christine nodded, "Your mom started it. Some girl was flirting with John, your mom was really mad and began to down drinks. When she found the girl, who was hugging John, she just grabbed and pulled. I had to kick ass when she fell on hers though."

I rolled my hands, "Seriously mom?"

I saw tears fall from her eyes. "He didn't even notice. He didn't even care...he didn't..."

Christine sighed, "John went somewhere. I don't know where but I'm not stupid."

I sighed, rubbing my temples as they pulsed. "Both of you are thirty. Do you really think it's mature to fight, especially start it, mom?"

My mother whimpered in response.

Christine rubbed her eyes and sighed, "Those bitches deserved it. Anyways, I got to run. I have work in the morning." She waved goodbye and began for the door.

"You're really going to leave her like this with me? I have school tomorrow!" I shouted annoyed.

Christine shrugged, "It's just for tonight. I'll come by tomorrow to check up. Call the salon. I practically live there. Bye!"

I grunted as the door shut. I glared at my mom and stomped to my room, all the while talking to myself.

"You leave every Thursday and come back drunk. Now I have to take care of you, again! I am not your fucking mother, I am your child." I quickly wrapped my hair in the towel and began to get dressed. "I am 15. 15! I shouldn't have to do this. I have school, I have a dance show I have to practice for, and I have two people that like me for some weird reason and to top it off, I keep obsessing over some dumb crap I offered this mutant turtle!"

I walked out once dressed in a big shirt and a pair of underwear. I went over to my mom and grabbed her hand. "Come on. I don't even know if I should call you mom. I should call you Aniya. I'm the mom, taking care of a 30 year old drunk person who can even stand up right!" I grunted when she put all her body weight on me. We both fell to the ground, my towel scattering to the floor as my mother's complete body weight fell on top of me, knocking the air right out of my lungs.

"Holy shit, mom get off." I gasp, attempting to push her off of me.

"How could he just leave?" She cried. "What am I? Just a piece of ass!?"

"You're heavy!" I yelled, finally pushing her off. "Ugh, so it's going to be like that?" I get up and grabbed her arm. "Come on, we're taking a bath."

It was an extreme work out pulling my mother down the hallway and to the bathroom. My wet hair dripping down my back making my shirt uncomfortably wet.

My mother began to ramble by herself. "Five years...and this is how I get treated. Five years...do you know how long five years is? It's like...months. Not even a proposal, or a baby... I look good for my age."

I sighed finally dragging her into the bathroom that was still humid with steam from the recent shower I just took! "Okay mom, off with that ugly gold tube dress... Who the hell bought you this?"

My mother slapped my hands, "Don't touch me you lair."

Lair? She was really drunk... "Mom, stop. I gotta get you undressed."

"Why? So you could just leave with another girl!? You cheater."

"Mother..." I sighed. "I'm not John."

My mother gasped. "Anthony?"

I sucked in my breath when I heard my dads name. It felt foreign to hear it some out of my mothers mouth.

I shook my head, "Lillian, mother."

"No don't tell Lillian she'll be so mad." She burped.

I pulled that ugly piece of rejected clothing off her body and was really disappointed to find that nothing was underneath. "Ew...where the hell is your underwear?"

My mother hugged her knees to her chest and began to cry again. "I have no one."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed her arm. "Mother! Stop acting like a two year old."

My mother went limp in my hands, she was completely awake but she was acting like a toddler throwing a tantrum. I sighed, turning around to turn on the water.

This isn't the first time that I would have to give my mom a bath after a drunk night of partying. It's probably the fifth time I did this for my mom. Tomorrow is going to be so much worse...

The routine usually is- my mother comes home shitfaced with John who is also shitfaced but just ends up sleeping off his drunken state, which leaves me and my mother to be alone. Depending on what happened at the bar or club or whatever, my mother would either be crying, laughing, or on a goodnight, silent and corporative. I would bath her, give her two aspirins and some water for the next day and send her off to bed. The next day she'd wake up at four o'clock in the afternoon and begin to throw up. I would feed her bread and soft foods and the next day she's forgotten about the whole agenda.

I would have to miss school because my mother can not take care of herself even if her life depended on it. Plus, she's my mom. Even though I complain about her a lot I still care about her well being. And I rather take care of her then learn about how people rioted in the 1900s or something in U.S. history.

I fill the bathtub with warm enough water then attempt to pick up my 130 pound mother.

"Mom, you gotta help me. I'm not superman." I grunted, pulling her arms up and around my neck. She finally stands up then steps into the bath. She cowers towards the corner, hugs her knees and begins to cry like a baby.

I sighed, "Mother you got to learn when to grow up."

Her crying stopped for a second. I cupped water in my hands and poured it on her head.

"Why do you hate me?" She asks plainly. I looked at her with wide eyes. My mother never was those people who would slur their words when they were drunk. She would just talk nonsense and smell. But the way she said that made me think maybe she was sober...

"Now why would you think I hate you?" I sighed, pouring more water onto her head.

She finally relaxed and leaned against the wall, her legs slowly stretching out.

When she didn't answer, I knew she was drunk. "I could never hate you mom. Even if I tried. And even though you won't remember this tomorrow, I do love you. And I always will."

My mother splashed water all on my shirt, "You're funny..." She snorted.

I groaned, "Really? Way to ruin the moment..."

I finished give her a bath, I dried her off, dressed her, then I gave her two aspirins and two glasses of water which she refused to drink at first because she's a child, then sent her off to bed so I could finally change my shirt and go to sleep.

Before I could go into my room, she grabbed my hand, "Sleep with me?"

I chuckled, "Mom, your old enough to sleep alone."

Her eyes were big. They were big pleading eyes with a hint of fear in them. This scared me a little. Why would my mother plead I mean it's so not like her. It scared me so much that I cursed myself for actually following her to her bed.

We didn't cuddle, she didn't want me to hold her or even touch her. It was almost like she just wanted someone in her bed. Like she didn't want to be alone but didn't want comfort. It was very hard to explain but I didn't mind at all...which was weird to me.

Half of the night I spent staring at her in unsettling comfort. The light from outside shined on her skin that still glistened with little wet droplets that have yet to dry up. She was beautiful. She was always going to be beautiful in my eyes. Although some faults I wouldn't mind fixing but...she was still my mother.

After I felt sleep begin to take its effect on my, I scooted closer to her, still not touching her, and I drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up it was probably around ten in the morning. I rubbed my eyes, blinking a couple times before I could clearly see my mom. I sighed. She was in the same position she was last night. She didn't move or even make a sound when I got up from the bed. She was going to feel so bad today...

Serves her right from drinking her responsibilities away...

I decide that since there are no adults in this house, I was the one who was going to have to make breakfast. Again...

I yawn, making my way to the kitchen. For some reason, unlike every other day, I'm not that tired. I actually feel completely rested.

Luckily there's some eggs and some bread in the house. I could make that for my mom when she wakes up...right after she pukes her guts out.

"Let's get to cooking." I say to myself, pulling out a pan from one of the cupboards.

Right when I broke the first egg, there was a knock at the door. I turned and rolled my eyes, knowing that it was John who once again forgot his key.

I went to the door and looked through the peephole...

"Go away John." I growled through the door.

He slammed his fist in the door. "Lillian, I'm so not in the mood. Open the fucking door." I locked it. "Lillian! God damnit!"

I jumped when he kicked the door. "Oh yeah, I really wanna open the door now."

John threw his arms in the air, "Fine, fuck you and your mom. I'm out of here." He said before turning.

I bit my tongue, opening the door. "Wait..." I say.

He turns around with a big smirk of his breaded face. As if he knew I was going to say that. I knew what he was expecting. He was expecting me to open the door and let him fuck my mother right after he fucked another girl. He was just going to apologize and everything would be fine. All I had to do is open the door.

Instead I gave him the birdie and shut the door.

After I locked it, I went back to the food and began to make some breakfast, feeling really happy I did that.

When the egg was done, I took out a plate, poured the egg onto it and placed two pieces of bread on the side. This breakfast was pretty awesome, my mom better eat this.

"Lil'?" I heard her groggy voice call out. "Who was...that?" She burped as she came in walking slowly from the hall to the kitchen, leaning up against the wall.

"Mom, I made you some food." I said, holding out to her.

My mother took one look, no even a second later she was running to the bathroom. Her gagging was all I could hear.

I cringed, "I'm gonna have to clean that up, aren't I?"

My mother's gags were the only thing that answered.

"Yup...I guess so."

I set the plate on the counter and headed to the bathroom. On the way though, I saw two dark figures in my room when I passed it. At first I thought it was my imagination but when I actually stopped and thought about the distinct shapes they had. I went to my room and saw Raph and Leo.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?" I asked nervously. "My mom is here!"

They didn't answer, all they did was avert their eyes and if I was right, I could see a hint of blush on both their cheeks.

I shook my head, "What?"

Leo cleared his throat, "Um...you're kinda..." He pointed at me.

When I looked down immediately my heart began to beat fast out of embarrassment. "Oh my god!" I yelled before shutting the door. Soon, I realized that in order to get pants, I have to go into my room.

I opened my door a bit, "Okay...I need pants..."

Both of them immediately left outside and shut the window behind. I grabbed some pajama shorts and went to the window. "That never happen. We never mention it. But before you come in here again, which you're not, wanna tell me why you're here?"

Leo cleared his throat again, "Um, April texted us to check on you. She said your step father came in drunk and you didn't show up for school so..."

I sighed, "Oh April... Such a sweet girl- look. He's out and he's not coming back anytime soon. My mom is here and I don't want her to see y-"

"Lilly...!" I heard my mom called. "I need you..."

I looked back, making sure that she wasn't coming here. "You guys are really sweet for coming to check on me though. It really is but I'm fine. I can handle it by myself. I'll make sure to call April."

"Don't be mad at her. She was just worried." Leo quickly said.

"I'm not mad at her. There's just no need to be worried, that's all." I reassured.

Leo nodded, "Okay, well...at least we made sure."

"I will contact you guys if I do need help." I smiled, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to hold my mother's hair back while she pukes everything she ate last night."

"Lilly!" She cried again.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm coming! If John comes back," Which he probably will. "I'll call you guys."

Leo nodded. "Okay. Sorry we caught you off-"

I held up my finger, "I said it never happened... We never speak of it. Deal?"

Leo smiled, "Deal."

"Nice bunny underwear though." Raph chuckled, prompting him to get a slap on the shoulder by his blushing brother.

"Are you serious?" Leo hissed.

I rolled my eyes, shutting the window. I can't believe I wanted to help that guy. He was obviously not taking anything I said or did seriously so you know what? Fuck him... I don't care anymore.

Wait...was I actually wearing bunny underwear?

'Oh! That's not the point, you idiot!' My thoughts said.

I walked over to the bathroom and saw my mom in the fetal position, crying.

I sighed, "What the matter, mom?"

She turned her head and groaned, "Everything is spinning. And I just remembered part of last night..."

I went over and flushed the toilet. I grabbed her toothbrush. "Mother, you deserve someone who treats you right. And someone that gets along with me."

My mother groaned again as she got up from the floor. "Not this again, Lilly..." I handed her her toothbrush. "Do you really hate John or who ever I'm gonna date?"

"I honestly, truly, with every fiber of my being, hate John. And if you got a guy that got along with me and treated you right, which John doesn't, I would be happy and actually treat him like a step father. But you pick the worst guy ever mother." I said, brushing her brown hair out of her face and tying it with the hair tie that was on my wrist.

She spit into the sink, "Are you saying I should break up with him?"

I sighed, "I'm not saying that. But I'm thinking you should. The only guy you ever dated that was a good guy, was dad."

My mother rinsed her mouth, "I can't replace your father."

"No I can't. You already did."

My mother tensed, placing her toothbrush into the small garbage can we have next to the toilet. "I haven't replaced your father."

I chuckled, "I beg to differ. For the last five and a half years, all you've been drooling over is John. And whenever you mention dad, John flips like last time. You still have to put on make up to hide some of the bruise mom."

I mother touched her eye, "It'll go away."

I scoffed, "Seriously?"

"Lillian, I love John. And maybe I did replace your father but I'm always going to love him. And I'll always love you so much more."

I sighed, "You know something mom. I love you too, but it's so hard to believe that you even give a single fuck about me."

My mother turned around, tears in her eyes. "I love you Lillian. More than you will ever know."

I can't see my mother cry sober. It means she's actually crying which makes me want to cry, but I am so not going to. "Then do what's best for you and me. Leave him."

My mother stared at me with a mixture of shock and hurt in her eyes. It was at that moment that I knew, she was never going to leave him. She wasn't even going to try. She was most likely scared that he was going to beat her or even go after me. But I can handle myself and she's a women and can easily press charges on him so what's the big deal?

I mean, if wasn't hard for me...

I shake my head in an attempt to rid myself from those memories and also in disappointment. "Your food is waiting for you whenever you're ready. It'll get cold soon so I suggest you at least eat the bread."

She held a hand to her lips before walking very slowly to the kitchen.

I rubbed my head when it began to pound right behind my eyes.

I always knew my mom loved me, she does-of course she does! But I also knew that she loved John more. And nothing was going to break them apart.

"Oh well...I tried..."

The rest of the day went on weird and awkward. My mother was just sulking around waiting for me to talk to her. I wasn't going to. All I was going to do is watch tv and probably go to sleep. I mean I was done with all my homework, nothing much left to do but eat or sleep.

At about 2 or 3 in the afternoon, I heard my mother crying in her bedroom. Soft sobs that sounded like she was trying to cover them. The reason, I honestly don't know. Maybe it was my fault and maybe it's because of John. At this point I'm leaning more towards John.

I wanted to get out of there. I felt suffocated. Like the walls were just closing in on me and I couldn't do anything, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. I had to get out of that fucking house.

I quickly ran to my room and just put on whatever pants I found and then ran out of the place. Where was I going? Most likely to April's...

As soon as the wind hit me, my throat began to tighten. I couldn't go pass the last step of the house, so I just sat there with my head in my hands. I wasn't going to cry. Fuck no! I am not letting myself cry! For what! Because my mom indirectly admitted to loving John more than me. I already knew that so why am I upset.

I grunted, pulling a handful of hair. "Damnit!" I hissed. Standing up and finally walking away from my house.

If I was going to go anywhere, it's to April's place, even if I didn't want to stay behind close doors. This anxiety attack is not going to get the best of me.

As I walked there, I noticed my hands begin to shake as if I were a scared puppy or just plain cold. I wasn't! I was just...I just couldn't breathe. My mind was racing a million miles a minute and my heart was beating like I just ran a mile. My whole body was shaking. But by the time I got to April's place, it sort of subsided. I could still feel the pressure of some invisible force pushing on my chest but, I know I could fight it off.

I rang the door bell, shoving my trembling hands into my pockets.

"Lilly!" She said happily when she opened the door. Her face immediately changed when she saw the discomfort in me eyes. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head, "I don't know..." I truly didn't. That why I hate when I get anxiety because I never know the true answer on why I have it.

"Are you okay?" She asked as she shut the door behind us. "Why weren't you at school today?"

I scratched the back of my head nervously, "My mom came home drunk..." I took a deep breath, attempting to calm my nerves. "Can I tell you something?"

April nodded, "Yeah sure..."

I sighed, "I don't know how to like put it but... Sometimes I have these episodes where I just...can't really breathe and I usually never get over them because I never talk to anyone... Talking usually helps me."

April went to her sofa, "When you say episodes, do you mean like... It happens often."

I sat next to her, "No... Only when I keep thinking about stuff and my mind never takes a break."

"Oh okay... I get what you mean." She nodded in understanding. "So like...anxiety?"

I nodded, "I mean, you kinda already knew but... I don't know."

April rested her hand on my knee, "Well if you want to talk, go ahead. If it helps..."

I nodded, "Today, my mother and I had like an argument. I don't know, it wasn't really that but it felt like it. We were just going back and forth on how John was horrible. And I told her to leave him, she said she couldn't...I don't know why." I fiddled with my hands, my head beginning to pound as my whole body sort of began to relax.

"Your mom acts like she's 17. It's not hard to break up with a guy." April scoffed annoyed. Couldn't blame her though.

"I don't know if it's because she's scared of what he'll do. Or if she just doesn't want to leave him because he kind of makes the money. But she ended up saying that she loves me more than anything. And I said if she loved me she would leave him and she didn't say anything..."

April stood, "What the hell!? What kind of a mother would just..." She sat back down, her hand right back on my knee. "I don't like that man. I don't like the way he treats you and your mother. And it's absolutely unfair that your mother doesn't give two shits about your safety, I mean..." She sighed. "Lilly, I don't blame you for having an anxiety attack. If we're being honest, I have one every now and again. I've only had one around the guys and they really helped me."

I smiled, "Yeah... Um, thanks for telling them to check up on me. Raph and Leo came by."

April winced, "Sorry...I thought it would be Donnie not Raph. I know he's not your favorite of the bunch."

I laughed, "Yeah... But thank you though."

April smiled sweetly, "You want something to eat? I just ordered some pizza and I was going to go over to the guy's place to eat it but, I'd rather sit here and talk to you."

"You know what?" I chuckled softly, finally feeling the trembling nervousness in my whole body just wash away. "I would love some pizza April." I was very lucky to have a friend like April. Very lucky to have someone to listen to me when there was no one to talk to. I have never talked about my feelings to anyone but my friends. And talking to April feels so natural that my walls just completely come down when I'm with her. "You know what April... Thanks."

April shrugged her shoulders lightly, "Everyone needs a shoulder once in a while. It's no biggie." She said.

To her...maybe. But to me...it meant the world.

Thanks for reading! See you in the next chapter!