HETALIA IS A MANGA BY HIDEKAZ HIMARUYA

This piece was inspired by Estopa's song Fuente de energía, from which the title comes

1988, Viena

"I think we can agree that drug trafficking and consumption is a problem we cannot overlook any longer. It is poisoning our people and, therefore, poisoning us. You surely have seen the effect it has on us."

Austria turned his head to look at his audience. Usually, he would focus on the attendees who usually paid the least attention. This time, his eyes turned to Spain, who normally had the attention span of a three year old.

And Spain didn't take it well.

"Why are you looking at me?" He said.

Austria paused. The atmosphere suddenly tensed so much many looked away, to walls, sockets, their papers, anywhere.

"I am not looking at anyone in particular, Spain." Austria softly said.

Very few people believed him. Spain was so thin and his green eyes seemed dull and clouded. Sure he was the example Austria was looking for. Only someone who didn't want to see would have denied it.

"As I was saying, we have to do something to stop this."

During the recess, Spain looked for Austria everywhere, until he found him at the cafeteria, having a cup of coffee with Luxembourg.

"What you did was quite rude, do you know that?"

"I told you I wasn't talking about you, I was just casually looking into your direction." Austria calmly replied.

"Come on, we have been married for centuries, I know you, I know you love to taunt people and make passive-aggressive comments. Well, I don't like it, okay? I think it's very rude from you to call me a yonqui. I'm not an addict. I'm not."

Luxembourg looked away visibly uncomfortable, so Austria decided to do something about it.

"Luxembourg, would you excuse me for a moment?"

"Of course." He replied.

Austria then took Spain outside of the building, away from the crowd, where they could have a private conversation.

"Is it true, though?"

"Go fuck yourself." Was Spain's harsh response. He wanted to escape, but Austria grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Is it true?"

"Let me go."

"Answer me and I will let you go. Is it true? Do you drug yourself?"

"Yes! Yes, I do! I do heroin! And cocaine, too! Are you happy now?!" Spain roared. "Come on, now start calling me names, using me as a fucking example of what drug does, so everyone knows..."

Nations' bodies did not work as humans' did. Their capacity of feeling pain, the effectiveness of medicines, it all was different. In order to feel the shot, they had to get an enormous dose, enough to kill a normal person. Austria wondered, how much had he taken to look so sick?

"I knew it...This is not you...For how long?" Austria asked, looking at him to the eyes.

"I don't know...Three, four years..."

"But why? I don't understand. You are healthy, you've got lots of friends, have a new life..."

"And that life is shit! I'm broke! No one in my house's got a job! So many people wish Franco came back! They're all looking at me and I don't know what to do, I feel...I feel they screwed up making me sovereign; it's so much pressure and I can't...I-I can't...That stuff is the only thing that makes me feel good for a while...I know what you say behind my back, all of you. 'Look at him, the one who ruled half of the world, the paladin of Christian faith'..."

"No one says that, Spain..."

"But you think so...I know you do..."

Austria placed a hand on his mouth, in a pensive pose. He was silent for a moment, while Spain gazed at him looking about to cry.

"...I'm nothing on my own...Ever since you left...Everything went downhill...I definitely can't take care of my own life...I am tired of pretending everything's great. Everything would be better if I just..."

"Don't say that. Don't be stupid." Austria said.

"See? I'm a big idiot..."

"Stop for a second. Just for a second. And listen to me. Do you think you are the only one who has gone through a crisis? Do you think you are the only one who has turned to something unhealthy to cope? Think of the people in the meeting. Of me. Do you think everything has gone smoothly for us, and we never fell and broke down and clung to anything at all to feel a little better? You have no idea. You are not special. All of us have done something of the sort or worse. Even me. You talk about me as if I was infalible but I'm not. My empire crumbled too, I remind you."

"But..." Spain looked at his feet, a faint smile growing in his face. "You always seemed to know what to do. You were always so collected...it made me feel safe...no matter how dark times were..."

"I had my moments...I just didn't want you to know. Because you seemed to be God's chosen and had fire in your heart, never let doubt stop you..."

Spain raised his eyes to Austria and saw his expression had softened.

"I know...we barely talk anymore after the Habsburgs stopped ruling your house. I know I didn't make things better by joining campaigns against you, and ended up marrying Hungary. But I still care about you. And if you ever need help, you don't have to bear it alone, you can always tell me. I will be there. I hate to see you like this. I want to help you. Please, say you are going to fight against this. Say you are going to bring back the mighty bull inside of you and fight this rubbish which makes you think you are useless."

"...I promise..."

Spain bit his under lip, not able to repress the tears.

"...Can you...please...?"

Austria nodded and took the initiative, hugging him. Dear Lord, his problem had to be really bad. It was like hugging a broom. He could feel the bones.

"I want my Antonio back. And I will do anything at all to find him." Austria muttered.

Then, he heard Spain chuckle a bit.

"...You know...Now that you mention...the past, the...war and..."

"It doesn't matter now."

"After all..." Spain said, nevertheless. "I couldn't hate you. Ever. You were my first husband and...you know what they say...one never forgets their first love..."

Spain let out a sigh filled with relief, and left a kiss on Austria's cheek.

THE END

By the end of the 80s and the beginning of the 90s, heroin addiction became a big problem in Spain. Drugs had been introduced with the coming of tourists from abroad, like France and United Kingdom as a way to go against the conservative dictatorship. In a context of much unemployment, economic and social crisis and a time of transition after the fall of the Francoist regime, many young people recurred to heroin injection, then smoking, and also combined it with cocaine in some cases as an escape valve. It became the first cause of death among the youngest. We are talking about the time when HIV became a worldwide problem, so the result of the consumption of this drug was devastating. Nor clinics nor society were ready for a crisis of this kind. Some neighborhoods in big cities have not recovered yet or still remember how it ruined them. Thanks to the initiative by the United Nations, which attacked trafficking (in Spain, drugs usually came from South America to the Galician coasts), the action of the known as 'mothers of the drug' and the government finally taking measures, this problem was solved. However, it is feared that nowadays, with young people not having a future and media glorifying the consumption of drugs it comes back.

Yonqui, by the way, is a colloquial way of referring to someone who is addicted to drugs.

Also, I have to say as a Spaniard that unfortunately Spain is a country which suffers a sad case of self-loathing...