Chapter 5

Never Give Up

Merida's POV

I ran and I did not know why or where. I stopped when I reach a beautiful lake. I sat down on the edge and looked at my reflection.

"Grandpa please tell me what to do!" I begged.

I knew he would not appear and I sighed and covered my face with my hands and cried.

Haldir's POV

I followed her to the lake and saw her crying. She was calling for her grandfather, but I did not know why. Thorin Oakenshield had fallen in battle 19 years ago. I wondered if she had some sort of gift that allowed her to communicate with those who had died.

"I am sorry, I am so sorry! Maybe if I was born a full dwarf I would not be causing so many problems for my parents and my family. I did not ask to be this way." she sobbed.

I wanted to go to her, tell her it would be alright. I did not do this, I just stood there watching her.

Merida's POV

I felt as though I were being watched. I stood up and reached for a weapon, but I did not have one.

"Who is there!? I am not afraid of you!" I shouted.

Haldir stepped out. I growled in frustration.

"Why are you following me?" I asked.

"I saw you running off and I feared you would get hurt or get lost."

I glared at him.

"I am no concern of yours!"

He walked forward and I stepped back.

"I do not need your pity or your protection! I can take care of myself!"

He came forward again, only this time when I backed up I fell into the lake. I did not know how to swim!

Haldir's POV

When she did not resurface I panicked and dove in after her. Though there were many pools, springs, rivers and lakes, this was one of the deeper ones. I grabbed her and kicked to the surface. I brought her to shore and laid her on her back. She was not breathing.

"Oh no, Merida!?"

I pushed on her chest repeatedly. I opened her mouth and breathed air into her body and then started to push on her chest. She coughed up a large quantity of water and I turned her on her side. I sighed in relief and moved my hair from my face.

"Merida?"

Merida's POV

I heard a soothing voice saying my name. I opened my eyes. At first my vision was a bit blurry but then I looked around. My eyes came to a rest on Haldir. He was soaking wet and breathing fast.

"Merida are you alright?" he asked.

I opened my mouth but no words came out. I sneezed and he lifted me up despite my protests.

"Put me down! Just because I sneezed does not mean I cannot walk!"

"You nearly drowned and you are cold and wet….will you stop!?"

I was struggling. He threw me over his shoulders and I continued to try and get out of his hold.

"I demand you put me down!"

"Hush! People are sleeping!"

I groaned but gave up. He brought me back to my talon and set me down.

"I suggest you take a warm bath and get out of those wet cloths, before you catch a cold."

He turned to leave and I felt a little bad.

"Wait."

He stopped and looked over his shoulder.

"Thank you for saving my life. I know I did not deserve your help because of how rude I have been to you. So why did you do it?"

He sighed and turned around and walked back.

"I did it because whether you like it or not princess you are still a living elf no matter how much dwarf blood you have in you. And I…..I feel a strange need to protect you so I will."

I smiled a bit at him.

"Do you ever smile?"

He looked away and I nodded.

"Fine. Well thank you again."

"Please do not go running off again."

He left and I just stood there. What was this feeling I had for Haldir? This growing feeling of warmth and safety. I did not understand it and I was afraid of it. I was afraid of it because I wanted more of it. I did as Haldir suggested and took a bath and changed my cloths. I smiled to myself and then went to bed.

Haldir's POV

Would what I did to help her be considered a kiss?

No of course not! Do not be foolish!

The way Merida made me feel was strange to me, no elleth had ever had this effect on me before. Why now? And why her? It was not that she was ugly or cruel…..but she was so young and she was the princess of Erebor.

"Do you ever smile?"

Her question rang in my head and I wondered about it. Rarely did I ever smile, and when I did it was only a half smile or a forced one. But then I had smiled when I was traveling with her and my brothers, it may have been a small smile but it was still a smile. I decided these things were better left until morning so I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

Over the next few months I kept my distance from Merida, though always making sure she was safe. I still did not understand the feeling I had every time I saw her. On this day I woke up early as I always did. My brothers were likely still asleep, although Orophin may be awake trying to put his daughter back to sleep so his wife did not have to. I took my bow and sword and made my way down to the practice fields. Someone was already there.

"Merida?"

She did not look at me and she fired an arrow into a target that quite a good distance away. She hit it right in the middle and I blinked several times. Now she looked at me. She said something I did not understand and then laughed at herself.

"Forgive me, I meant to say good morning but it came out in Khudzul."

At times I forget she is a dwarf as well as an elf.

I nodded in good morning and then went and stood beside her.

"~Where did you learn to shoot like that?~"

"~My papa. He is an unmatched archer, but so is my mother and my best friend and cousin Kili is an amazing archer as well. My papa gave me a bow when I was 5 and I have been using it ever since. Back home I had targets set up all around the mountain, it made it more of a challenge for me.~" she explained.

I was amazed. For one so young she was just as good if not better than most of the Galadhrim. I turned and took my own bow. I fired and arrow and it split hers.

"Show off." she muttered.

I smirked.

"I am a warrior. I have been training for over 2,000 years. And I have been meaning to ask….are you….."

"Immortal? Yes I am. Both my parents are elves, well mum is a half-elf half-dwarf but still, yes I am."

"And you said you were how old?"

She scowled and I mentally slapped myself.

"That is very rude, but if you must know I am 18, I turned 18 three days ago."

I cleared my throat.

"I apologize, I did not think before I spoke."

She nodded and went back to her archery. I trained every morning, and I would not let her distract me. Yet when the wind blew I caught the sweet scent of her hair, it was unlike anything I had ever sensed. Like flowers and pine. I missed the middle of the target and hoped she had not seen. When I looked over she was gone. I smiled a little.

"Truly she is free."

Merida's POV

I felt as though I were distracting him from his training so I left. As I did I looked over my shoulder at him. He pulled back on the bowstring and I saw how his strong shoulders looked. I realized I was staring and hurried away.

Staring at him will do you no good Merida! He is an elf of Lorien, and he would never want someone like you.

A dull pain formed in my chest at this thought and I tried to push it away.

"~Stop that! You came here so you would not have to get married! Stop looking at the elf!~" I told myself.

I decided to go and see Wind. It was still very early but Wind was awake and I started to brush her coat and clean out her stall. I heard a few people walk in and I hoped they would not notice me. They did. They gasped and whispered. They looked to be my age.

"Suildad." I said.

They looked at me.

"~How could you do what you have done?~"

I gave them a confused look.

"~To run away when it was your duty to marry for your people.~" said the other.

I clenched my fists and turned away.

"~Do not turn you back! You may be a princess, but here you are not. Answer us!~" the first demanded.

I was trying to ignore them. One of them stepped forward and Wind reared up, she was defending me.

"~Control your horse!~"

"~What is going on here!?~"

I smirked, I would know that voice anywhere.

"~Haldir.~"

Haldir walked over and he looked at me.

"~I am waiting.~" he said.

"~We were only asking why should would run away from her duty.~"

Haldir turned on them.

"~You think that is what she did? She was sent her by her mother and father so she would not be forced to marry! It was not they who wanted her to marry but another dwarf lord from the Iron Hills. I suggest you do not speak of what you do not know, else you sound like complete fools.~"

They bowed their heads and then left. Tears were in my eyes but I would not let Haldir see them.

"I did not need you to defend me. I could have taken care of them myself."

"You ungrateful….." He growled. "Is it so hard for you to accept help? Or is it because I am an elf?"

I turned and glared at him.

"I have nothing against the elves! I do not need to be protected by any man! Elf or dwarf! I can take care of myself." I snarled.

He challenged me with his own glare.

"And where would you be if I had not helped you 3 months ago?! You would be dead!"

"I already thanked you for that! There is no need to go and bring it up again!"

He growled in frustration and walked off.

"Finally!"

"I heard that!"

"YOU WERE MEANT TO!"

I finished cleaning out the stall and then decided to go back to my talan. I was muttering to myself and on my way up I bumped into Rumil.

"~Oh I am sorry.~"

"~No need to apologize. Are you alright? You seem quite upset." he smiled. "were you and Haldir quarreling again?~"

I looked away angrily and Rumil only laughed.

"~I should have known. He can be stubborn.~"

"~Stubborn? You mean annoying, irritating, rude and un-negotiable!~" I ranted.

Rumil sighed.

"~He has been that way since our mother and father passed.~"

My anger was immediately replaced by guilt.

"~What?~"

"~Our parents were killed by orcs years ago, but Haldir has never been the same since. He never truly smiles anymore…at least not until the day he met you. Though it was a small smile, it was still the first true smile I had seen on his face for many, many years.~" Rumil said sadly.

I bit my lower lip.

"~Do you know where I might find him? I think I owe him an apology…..no actually I know I do.~"

Rumil smiled.

"~I shall take you there myself!~"

I smiled. Rumil became a very dear friend to me, and very quickly. He would make my stay in Lothlorien easier. Haldir was the march warden, so he had many duties to attend to. Rumil told me about the many great things Lothlorien held, in a way it made me eager to see them all. Rumil lead me to the training fields. I saw Haldir walking back and forth in front of several elven scouts. He was training them. I looked at Rumil, seeing if it was alright for me to go forward. He shook his head and I nodded and waited.

"~Take aim!~" Haldir ordered.

The elves aimed their arrows and Haldir moved off to the side.

"Laitho i philinn!"

The elves fired their arrows, though not all of them hit the target. Haldir seemed frustrated.

"~We have been doing this for 2 weeks now!~" he looked over and saw me. "~Princess, would you mind coming forward?~"

I knew it was not a question but an order. Rumil gave me a little push and I walked forward. I stood in front of him. I could tell he was trying to intimidate me.

"~I was fortunate enough to see Princess Merida using her bow this morning. Lady Merida would you mind giving them a demonstration?~"

I smiled eagerly and readied an arrow. I took aim and then took a deep breath. I fired the arrow and it the target in the middle. I walked down the line of targets, firing arrows into the middle of each one. When I looked back Haldir had a satisfied look on his face. I smiled and bowed.

"~I hope my demonstration was to the march warden's satisfaction.~" I said.

"~Very much so yes. Perhaps you would be willing to stay and aid me in training these so far helpless archers.~"

I looked at the other elves, some of them look very hopeful, other looked appalled. I looked to Rumil. He smiled and nodded. I looked at Haldir.

"~As you wish.~"

Haldir's POV

I did not know why I had asked her to stay, I could have demonstrated just as well. In the end I was glad I had asked. The scouts liked her and paid attention to her, perhaps a little too much attention which bothered me slightly. I gave them a warning look and they looked down. I nodded and continued to watch Merida.

Merida's POV

There was one female elf who seemed to be having the most trouble. I walked forward and looked at her.

"~Are you alright?~"

"~Y-yes!~"

Her swift answer told me otherwise. I looked around and realized she was the only female elf there. She was trying to prove she was just as good as the rest. I smiled gently.

"~I understand.~" I whispered.

She looked up at me.

"~Many a time a dwarf soldier would pass by me as I practiced with my bow and little practice sword, they smiled and seemed amused. I knew that none of them ever expected me to be as good as them. But with my father's help I became better than all of them by the time I was 10.~"

She smiled a bit.

"~Why are you telling me this?~"

"~Because I was you once, and I want to help you. If you will let me.~"

She smiled and gave me a nod and I smiled back.

"~What is your name?~"

"~Verya princess.~"

I smiled and shook my head.

"~If I am to train you then you must only call me Merida.~" I said.

She nodded.

"~Very well then, Verya, we shall begin tonight. I believe your training with Haldir is over for now. And keep in mind Verya, I will not go easy on you, but always remember to never give up. My father told me that once and since then those three words have helped me more times than I thought they would.~"

She had a determined look on her face and she nodded.

"Hannon le Merida."

I bowed.

"Lle creoso."

She left with the other trainees and I started to walk away.

"Merida."

Oh right! I came here to apologize!

I turned and Haldir walked over to me.

"Merida…"

"Wait, please let me speak."

He nodded and I took a deep breath.

"I came here to apologize. This morning you helped me and you were looking out for me. I guess I was upset because I thought you looked at me like a little sister and I did not like that…..because well I…." I cleared my throat. "Well I am sorry. I mean it too. I hope you can forgive me." I said.

"You believe I think of you as someone who needs protecting?"