I knew where he was. I always knew where he was. It was night, and the town was silent. The light of the full moon lit the cobblestone ground like an eerie day. I was watching the inn from the safety of the shadows in a dark alley not so far off. I was contemplating how to enter the establishment discreetly, when my desire for him seemingly summoned him from inside.
I watched him walk the length of the street to the town square the inn sat just off of, and I followed in pace quietly behind him though not nearly close enough to be detected. In fact I was surprised at how close I was able to get to him without his notice. Perhaps a testament to the state his sweet mind was in?
He sat on a bench on the edge of the square, backless as it were, I was able to walk up behind him and successfully grab his tail, a playful gesture.
It shocked him, he leapt to his feet and had his dagger raised and on me within the same motion, the blade stopping rather close to my throat. I wasn't afraid. He was simply startled. His eyes widened and his expression softened with his realization. But I had hurt him last time we'd met.
The blade clicked back into its holder and he turned without a word, wrapping his tail defensively around himself. I already knew that I loved him. I let him go just a little, at first.
"Zidane," I sang his name, accentuating the syllables. He stopped immediately, but he didn't turn. He didn't move. I wondered what he thought about as he stood there.
I moved close to him, sliding my fingers into his soft locks. Just to touch him, just to be close enough to breathe him made me weak. He seemed to resist the touch at first so I slid my fingers down his scalp and to his neck.
My other arm slid around his waist, pulling him close. I closed my eyes for the moment, my face close to his neck, intoxicated by his scent. My mouth opened to press soft kisses to his soft flesh.
It felt like he was attached to me somehow and was ripped away from me when he pulled himself from my arms.
"What's wrong?" I asked, stepping forward. I reached for him with both arms extended, welcoming him to me. But his eyes were full of anger. "I want to ask. How would it feel to you if I repeatedly beat your friends down? But you don't have friends, do you? I can't imagine anyone even liking you."
I was shocked by these words more than anything else, how long had we done this now? Now he was upset? It made no sense. "What's the matter, Kuja? Have I hurt your feelings? Do you even have feelings?" he went on, and I couldn't process what else he said but something about the way he questioned my feelings triggered me. I stepped toward him and slapped him across the face with a swish of my sleeve and without a second thought.
He yelled something else and I smacked him again and in his backing up, he tripped over a loose stone and landed on his side. Rolling over onto his back, groaning, moving to stand up, I took advantage of his vulnerable position and crawled on top of him.
I straddled him and slapped him again. No feelings? I was in a fit of rage. The feelings I had for him alone were astounding. How could he? I would show him. I kissed his face. I went for his lips but he turned away. I fought to grasp his hands pushing at me and kissed him more, my face to his neck.
We'd had rough sex before, I knew what he liked. I bit against his neck and he let out a moan, I felt his body arch beneath mine as he reacted. Yes, this connection. This was what I craved, needed even.
I thought we'd reached each other again, finally. But his next words wounded me. "Are you going to force yourself on me?" he asked, and I'd lifted my head to look at him. My hands moved gently over his face. I'd been too forceful in my rage and desperate attempt to get him to connect with me.
I shook my head softly and leaned down to kiss him, my lips against his forehead for a moment. I heard his whispered apology, but I was wrong and I couldn't apologize. I stood up, I needed to leave. I could feel an anchor in my chest weighing with the ache and regret I held now.
I could hear his scrambling hasty footsteps against the stones as he rushed toward me. I slowed my pace because I wanted him. His fingers grasping my hand halted my movement. From the outside it may seem that he moved me, but his actions merely suggested it and I moved to him.
I felt shameful before him now, but my eyes were locked on his.
His arms were soon around me, and I melted into it. He whispered an apology again, I felt the warmth of his words against my cheek. "Me too.." I whispered, turning my face towards his slightly. He read me like a book, turning toward me to meet me with a kiss.
We stood together for a long moment, but eventually I was led to the inn, to his room, locked the door, to his bed.
Perhaps we were both a bit weak and tender, but the way we interacted was softer than before. Our armor and outer effects made a trail on the floor; a flurry of cloth, a belt with a dagger, a clatter of armor.
He sat on the edge of the bed in an undergarment that covered only his lower regions. Mine was daintier, smaller. I couldn't have anything messing up the image of my armor after all, slipping out unsightly or anything. But my attire was definitely unforgiving, in that the stiffness of my arousal was already evident as I moved to him, straddling him on the bed.
My arms slid over his shoulders and he shifted his body back on the bed. As we moved together I could feel him press against me. I had always wanted him but something was different about now. My lips were parted with a soft sigh before I realized it. I leaned in to kiss him, after that I wasn't able to stop the sounds that escaped me as we kissed. I was so hungry for him, my body rocked against his.
His hands on my body set me on fire, the way they roamed my back, hips, and thighs; like they were in familiar territory and knew just where to tread. I kissed where I'd left marks on him before, the biting and where without, the traceless slaps.
The sounds that escaped him were delicious. His fingers slid the silky material I wore down from my hips, nails grazing against my skin, causing me to shiver and press to him as I kissed him now on the lips, moving my legs without grace to get out of the material that was the thin barrier between our bodies.
It wasn't long before his fingers, slick with the slippery liquid we used to make things easier, pressed into me. He was good at it, too. It was always uncomfortable at first, but the way his fingers felt made me desperate for more of him. He held me close and let my body press and grind against his, encouraging me with soft whispers and sounds of appreciation in response to the soft whines and moans that escaped me.
I was nearly writhing in a torturous, pleasurable need for him when he stopped. His fingers slipped out and my body pressed forward at the loss of them. Embarrassed, my face was hidden against his neck and I tried to still myself as not to seem too desperate, more collected. Only he could unravel me like this.
I felt his warm, wet tip press against me, nearly moaning his name as I felt it, my hips moving with need to press back against it. "Zidane," I murmured only once before he pressed further. I pressed down onto him and my body tensed, my own length throbbing so visibly between us I swore I saw a smirk on his face as he glanced down between us, but it was replaced by an open mouthed gasp as my body reacted, tightened against him.
"Mm..don't move yet.." he whispered to me, his hand coming to my face to lift it, drawing me toward himself, kissing my hungry mouth. I tried my best to keep still, and I did technically, but couldn't stop my body from tensing at the feeling of him inside me. He moaned and laughed into the kiss, then broke it, leaning up to sit. He shifted our bodies around to put me on my back, moving on top.
The way his eyes looked at me now had to be a reflection of how I looked at him. He hovered for a moment, gaze locked while my fingers pressed against his back, sliding down and trying to pull him closer. He lowered himself to me; I leaned up for needy kisses as his hips started to move. The sounds of pleasure I couldn't contain started almost immediately as he moved.
He seemed just as worked up, but mesmerized by my wanton display of desire for him. My body rocked with him, clinging to him, always wanting more kisses. "You're going to make me cum.." he'd whispered between our deep kisses, I felt his fingers touch my ache between us. My body trembled more as he teased the tip, fingers considerately using the wetness that leaked out of me as his hips moved and used it as lubrication for how he teased my tip. Rubbing his thumb over the tiny hole, giving a slightly pressured pinching motion, I couldn't help but to moan louder.
"What.. do you think ..you're doing…to me?" I managed, trembling and writhing beneath him. I didn't expect to release so quickly, but he made me. I gasped and moaned louder as the warm liquid spilled into his hand and on my stomach.
"Mm.. Kuja.. " His voice was soft against my lips. "Don't stop." I replied, and he didn't. He didn't even stop touching me, and I was so sensitive now it made me whine in the torture of the pleasure. A mantra of his name escaped my lips, my body rocking desperately to and from his hand, onto his thrusts.
His voice sounded softly in my ear nearly the entire time, whispering encouragement to me, voicing his pleasure. I was writhing beneath him with a second release in a short time, I could feel the warmth fill and slicken his fingers. I was overstimulated at first but felt a melty pleasure in my groin, diving headfirst into even more carnal desire.
My legs trembled but pressed against his sides as he changed his pace. He let go of my spent length to brace himself more, leaning closer against me still, keeping himself pressed deep now and grinding into me rather than thrusting. The pace was slow, but it was tantalizing. I was able to move with him, my gasps softer and less disruptive of our kisses, but longer and more sensual.
The kisses broke at times, our gazes locked on one another, both panting softly in our pleasure. When he looked at me like that, I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. Our names echoed off one another's lips as we reveled in the pleasure we shared.
I couldn't say how long we spent that way, but I could tell when the tension had built up too much for him. He flinched softly and lost pace ever so slightly. I whispered to him to let go, for me. I wanted to feel it.
He kissed me softly and moved his body to regain a position similar to his earlier one. His pace picked up again and the stimulation of his swollen repeatedly hitting that sensitive spot inside of me pulled me right back into my more vocal expressions.
The feeling of him releasing inside of me, feeling his length throb, hearing him moan, seeing his face, all of it sent those erotic sensations to my groin and I wondered if I could ever stop. No more liquid escaped me but my body trembled with a third climax easily, close already from the delicious pleasure he'd built up so skillfully with his deep movements just before. Writhing beneath him I even touched myself this time, feeling the wetness that had consistently leaked out of me.
I moaned softly as he stopped moving, letting go, finally spent. Our lips met again and again, somehow still pressing ourselves together with endless desire; trying to pull him closer, him trying to hold me tighter. What was this?
"I love you." He breathed, his voice barely audible but close enough to me that I could hear him. I didn't know what that meant. To love someone? I couldn't imagine. I didn't return the sentiment but I looked carefully at him, studying him. My fingers were touching his lips softly with my finger tip, fingers trailing against his cheek, cupping it gently and pulling him in to simply kiss him in response.
The bed was small, I don't know how long we laid in this embrace. We eventually moved to separate ourselves from our intimacy. He brought a cloth from the wash basin, already wet with cool water and used it to clean the mess of our pleasure from my body.
He also seemed spent, but I could feel the desire he had for me still, in the way he touched my hips, fingers trailing my thighs, where he leaned in and pressed kisses, commenting on the softness and milky white of my skin.
I let him clean me in the most intimate ways, feeling completely at ease and submitted to him, I felt no shame for his touches or being cleaned. Some deep connection of intimacy between the pair of us could be seen in his actions and my comfort with it. "You touch me a lot like this." I observed, smiling slightly as I watched him, his fingers tracing the curve of my hip. He shook his head with a gentle smile in return. "I can't help it." he replied softly, leaning to kiss above my hip before he pulled back. "All clean."
He went to the basin to rinse and I could hear the sound of the movement of water as he stood with his back to me. I watched him, observing his figure, his posture, his movements, as I always did.
Everything felt calm in my heart and my mind when he came to bed. We laid together, embraced again, him on his back and me on my side laying against him. I began to explore him with touches as he did me previously, fingers gingerly traced down his firm stomach, sliding back up and rubbing over his chest slowly. I tilted my head back to kiss his jaw.
If only we could be like this, always. We stayed awake for some time, keeping our peace and our affection for just as long as we could, but we both fell into a deep slumber.
I woke first. I was able to watch him sleep for a short while. I wanted to stay, but I couldn't. I had to get out of there before he woke. I kissed him softly on the face, entertaining half formed ideas of staying with him.
Did I love him?
As I slipped carefully from the sheets, carefully and quietly gathering my clothing and armor, the thought turned over in my head. By the time I was ready to leave, I was searching for something to write with. I found implements on the table in the room.
After those three words were written, and the ink was safely dry, I placed the parchment carefully on the bed where I had lain. Unable to linger any longer without crumbling and crawling back in with him, I took my leave of the room.
Where were we now?