Alright, finally this chapter came and I hope you guys like it. Consider it a Chapter 30 gift. Honestly, this fanfic went by real fast.

Nekura Ookami: I love your suggestion. But like I said in the PM I did intend to make Lilly learn a bit of Self- defense instead of full on Martial Arts like the guys, but I suck at writing fight scenes. Thank you so much though for your suggestions. Maybe I'll reconsider lilly learning how to defend herself bc of you ^.^ thank you again, it means a lot to know you care that much

For the people who favorited/followed: .hyugaclangirl, MissBookFan -Thank you so much and I'm sorry if FanFic messed up your names

Enjoy...

Song for this chapter - The Scientist ~ Coldplay

Rethinking Everything

~Lilly's POV~

"Lilly? Hello...?" April said, waving her hand in front of my face.

I blinked, awake and confused. "Huh?"

April looked in the direction I was looking at and smiled, "What the hell are you looking at?" She snicker softly.

"Oh um... That guy has cool dreads." I quickly lied, then cleared my throat. "You were saying?"

April nodded and continued telling her story on how her dad kept having strange nightmare and...once again I blanked out.

I asked her to come with me to get some coffee so I could find out her side of the whole 'no more turtles thing.' But, then she started talking about her dad and since I never got a chance to ask my questions I started thinking.

Raphael hasn't talked to me in a while. I've tried texting him but he never answers back. I've also tried texting his brothers as well but I only get brief short answers back. I kept wondering was it something I did? Was it because I didn't kiss him on the roof or was it because I kept talking and made the situation worse? I kept reassessing my relationship with Raph now. I kept thinking about dating him, and kissing him and I even had a dream about him but I don't remember what happened... I knew that I didn't like Raph. He was just a friend.

Yeah... My best friend. Who was always there for me when I cried. Who always listened to me ramble on about how hard my life is and never once judged me on how small my problems actually were. The friend who is kind of an asshole but then kind of a teddy bear. The guy who wanted to kiss me just because he knew no one else would ever dare look at him the way I do; as a person... He wanted to kiss me. And I blew him off. Why?

With David, I would always kiss him and never once did I get that feeling in my stomach or that heart thing. David barely made my heart skip a beat. Only sometimes. I liked David. But he was an asshole. So why don't I like Raph if he's an asshole but then an asshole that actually cares?

I know why... It's because he's a-

"Okay!" April slammed her fist on the small table to wake me again. "What the hell are you thinking about because you're blank stare is driving me crazy?" She said with an annoyed smiled.

I laid back in my chair and shook my head, "Nothing... Nothing..." Knowing she wasn't going to like talking about the guys.

"Clearly it's not nothing. You've been doing this all day. What's going on?" Her voice suddenly became very soft.

"Trust me. You don't want to know. Or don't care to know." I took a sip of my coffee and shook my head. "You don't."

April suddenly turned very serious, her head cocking to the side when she said, "What would give you that idea? I've always cared..."

I sighed, "It's about Raphael..."

She suddenly snapped, "You're right. I don't want to hear."

I scoffed, "Really?"

"Yeah. I don't care about those guys anymore. I want a normal life like yours." She said turning her body side ways. "I recommend you do the same."

"Raphael told me why you're mad at him?" I snapped, trying to sustain my bitchiness.

April stared at me sideways before turning her body back to face me. "How much do you know?"

"Enough to know that all these stories about your dad are lies."

April rolled her eyes, "Forgive me for trying to forget what they caused."

"What they cause? It was an accident." I could feel the adrenaline getting to my voice as it grew louder and louder.

"Accident?" April said breathlessly, narrowing her eyes. "They brought me back my father and then took him away again from me. Now how am I going to get him back? Answer me that..."

"April," I leaned in, my eyes almost pleading with her to understand my point of view. "They can help."

"How? Donnie can't do anything-"

"Stop." I interrupted. "You do not have to insult them."

April jumped at my tone, suddenly sinking back into herself. I felt a wall begin to come up around her.

"I know you. They know you. Donnie knows you better than anyone and you decide to insult him?" I spat sickly.

April scoffed, "I don't have to take this."

"No you don't. But you're gonna." My anger showed in my attitude filled voice.

"They ruined my life."

"So what now? Give up on them... You suffered a loss, honey but let me tell you something." I finally stood up. "We've all suffered at one point in our lives. You lost your mom, I lost my dad. And my mom doesn't care."

"But you still have one of your parents." April said through gritted teeth. "I have no one. I've lost everything now because of them."

"No... You didn't." I shook my head in disbelief sucking in the tears that were building in my eyes. "You have me. And you will always have them."

April sighed, "You know better than anyone what loss feels like... You should see my side. We're walking in the same shoes."

I shook my head. "No we're not." I grabbed my bag. "We may have similar losses, but we're different because I would never blame anyone but the things that took the people most precious to me. Look, you want a normal life, fine. I'll respect your decision. But don't go comparing your shit to mine. You're my best friend, but you still know little about me." I took a deep breath before walking out of the hippie coffee place. "I'll see you around." I said on the way out.

On my way out, I pulled out my phone and saw no notifications what's so ever. That's it... I guess I'm going to have to have the balls in this relationship. Okay. I may have to reassess my feelings for Raph, and that's fine. I did that with many of my friends and it always ended well sometimes...most times Whatever Raph and I have it okay, however it comes to be it will stay that way. But there is no excuse for him completely ignoring me after admitting him wanting to kiss me.

My stomach suddenly began to feel queasy and my heart began to have its palpitations once again. What the hell is going on? I had to place a hand on my chest in order to confirm that it wasn't my mind, I was actually feeling these things. "Okay..."

I played the symptoms as just the caffeine I just had and began to head towards the lair to raise hell...

"Raphael! What in the hell were you... Raph?" I was ready to come in, guns blazing ready to give everything I had and just lay it all out for Raph to feel. "Okay..." But sadly, I was met with nothing but silence. No one was here...

Maybe they're in the lab...

I set my stuff on the coach as I made my way to the lab. Opening the giant door, my eyes were met with all types of containers and canisters; bubbling liquids and beeping machines. One particular object caught my eye. A giant canister filled with green sludge...I'm guessing that's the ooze everyone is talking about. I walked closer and closer to the giant container, my hand gently touching the glass. It looked like there were body parts in this thing. Guts, brain, eyes... Suddenly, it opened its floating eyes and my heart jumped up in my throat. "What the..."

"Lillian?" I jumped once again, turning to see Master Splinter standing in the doorway.

"Splinter..." I said breathlessly. "Was I not supposed to see that?"

"See what? Oh!" He chuckled. "No, you are fine. That is just one of the assignments Donatello has been left with. A mutation."

I stared back at the canister with floating guts and eyes, it was staring right back at me. "A mutant... Okay..." I looked back at Splinter and smiled, "Is Raphael home?"

He shook his head, "They all went out to patrol the city, but I am sure they'll be back very soon."

I nodded, "Alright. I'll just wait then."

"Is there a problem?"

"Yes. But I'm not sure it should be shared with his father." I said, fumbling with my hands nervously.

"Hmm..." He nodded understandingly. "Very well... May I ask a question?"

"Of course."

"You and Raphael are very close."

"Um... Yeah, but that doesn't really mean anything." I chuckled nervously, knowing exactly in what direction this was going in.

"I should warn you." He chuckled softly, walking towards me. "Once Raphael has you, it will be almost impossible for him to let go. My sons have their...crushes, it makes them feel normal in a world that shuns them out for who they really are. I would never ask for you to feel a certain way for him if you do not."

Crush? Raph has a crush on me? Okay...well it's kind of obvious, I mean he wanted to kiss me. But when he said he had no feelings towards me like that he almost sounded angry so I just thought... "I don't like Raph. Not like that at least."

He nodded, "I understand. All I ask is you not hurt him."

I would never hurt Raph on purpose. Let's face it, I'm an idiot when it comes to shit with Raph. Sometimes my mouth keeps on talking and my brain is trying to catch up to what it's saying. I nodded, "I won't."

Splinter nodded, "Would you like some tea?"

"Um..." It's going to take a while until they all get here so, might as well chill. "Sure."

~Raph's POV~

I entered the lair completely exhausted, all I wanted to do was relax. "What time is it?" I yawned.

"Not that late... Like 9 or something." Donnie said, heading towards the lab. "If you guys are that tired you can head to bed. I'm gonna stay up late."

"It's not like we were gonna wait for you anyways." I joked as he entered the lab. I was about to head to my room when Mikey called me from the couch.

"Raph?"

"What?"

"Isn't this Lilly's bag?"

"What?" I turned and saw Mikey holding up Lilly's backpack. "Um...yeah... I think."

"What's it doing here?" Mikey asked, opening it up and looking inside.

I snatched the bag out of his hands before he could even blink. "Stop it."

"Maybe she came, saw that we weren't here and left, leaving it here." Leo said, jumping over the back of the couch and landing with his legs stretched out.

"She wouldn't leave it here unless she was here for a long time." I muttered. I shook my head, "Great, now I have to go see her again."

"What do you mean?" Mikey asked as I began to walk away.

"Nothing." I mumbled, opening the door to my room and tossing the bag across the room then tossing myself onto my bed, letting out a loud groan as I landed.

Suddenly the door was slammed shut, and Lilly appeared behind it. "Who the hell do you think you are?!" She yelled, causing me to jump off of my bed and land on the floor. "So what? You're just going to stop talking to me?"

"What the hell are you doing here?" I yelled in shock, pushing myself up off the floor. "What are you doing in my room?"

"What are you doing? I'll tell you what you're doing." She began to walk towards me. "You're not answering my texts, you're not answering my calls. You're not checking in on me. Nothing. You. And that's what I'm doing here. To check and see if you're alive." She slapped my shoulder.

"Ow." I growled.

"Oh look, you're alive!"

I turned and sat on my bed, "Please, can we argue another time."

"I don't know. Will we? Or are you gonna keep ignoring me?"

I rested my forehead on my hands when I felt a headache coming on. "I don't want things to be awkward. Okay... What I said was weird and I shouldn't have said it."

She sat right next to me, "Raph..." Her voice was so soft. "If you didn't want things to be awkward then you-"

"Shouldn't ask what I asked. I know, okay? I know. But..." I let out a breath and laid back on my bed. "I don't know what I was thinking at the time." Lilly is the coolest girl I've ever met. I know she deserves respect and all, and I know it was a long shot but I had to try, because if I didn't... I knew I'd regret it later. She's never going to go out with a thing like me.

"I was going to say, if you don't want things to be awkward the you don't make them awkward." She chuckled. "Also...don't assume things Raphael..."

I stayed silent. I really wanted her to leave and let me think. I don't like thinking in a serious tone because usually the outcome is not good. I can get over her. It's not impossible. And I want to get over her. Each time that I am so close to not having any feelings toward her, she pops up and fuck... That's why I don't answer her texts or calls, I'm trying to hit the reset button. She's like an infection. Hard to get rid of and a pain in the neck- and could lead to death if left untreated. She'd be the death of me. She's probably gonna kill me if I kept ignoring her.

"I'll do it."

I immediately sat straight up and looked at her with a look of disbelief. "What?"

"I said I'll do it." She said calmly.

I shook my head, "No you won't."

"Yes I will."

"No. I'm not letting you. I don't want to do it anymore." It's going to change things, and with me involved I'm almost positive it won't end well.

She blinked, "What?"

"I don't want you to do anything that you don't want to do. Do not try to make me feel better by doing this." I spat, standing up so I could get away from her.

"Wait... I want to do it." She said, staring with great big eyes. "I don't feel forced. If I didn't want to do it I would have said no."

I was confused, my heart sounded like a hum in my chest. "Why?"

"Because you asked." She said with a smile, standing up from her bed. "Raph, I trust you. More than anyone else. You're my best friend. When a friend asked for a favor, you do it."

"That's like saying if I asked for you to do it with me, you would because I'm a friend." I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

She blushed bright red, "Don't be so over dramatic. It's just a kiss not a whole session." She crossed her arms over her chest. "You're gonna have to pay a lot more for that, sweetie."

"Whatever. Lilly... I appreciate-"

"Oh shut up and kiss me, you idiot." She interrupted.

I smiled, "No."

"Would you just stop being so difficult? Come here." She reached out her hands to cup my face but I dodged it. "Raph..."

"Honestly, it sounds like you want to kiss me."

"Because you asked and then told me not to. So now I have to."

The door then suddenly opened. Both of us looked and I thanked God that Lilly wasn't that close to me. "Lilly?" Mikey said with a pizza in his hand. "What are you doing here?"

"Arguing with your brother. Stubborn little..." She smacked my shoulder again. "Could you give us a minute Mikey?"

"Yeah..." Mikey said slowly, before closing the door even slower. "It's just Lilly guys, he's not crazy and just talking to himself." He said before shutting the door completely.

"Now, even if I wanted to, we can't. Because then they'd walk in."

"Even if we don't do anything, they'll still think we did so why don't we?" She stubbornly spat.

"Why do you want to do this so badly?"

"I don't."

"Really? 'Cause it sounds like you do."

She finally threw her hands in the air and sighed, "Fine! Don't kiss me. It's not like I was trying to be a friend instead of a weirdo like you."

"I'm a giant talking turtle, being weird is in my nature." I snickered softly.

She smiled, "Alright... Can I get a hug?"

"Ugh..." I groaned. "You women and your touchy shit."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and laughed, "Idiot. Don't ignore me anymore. I'm crazy when it comes to that stuff."

"Oh I can see that." I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her close. I felt her small fingers gently caressing the side of my head, my heart was once again beating rapidly, this time my head became extremely fuzzy. She pulled away from the hug but only halfway. I swallowed hard when I saw something new flickered in her eyes. I've never seen her stare at anything like this before. Her eyes locked with mine...holy shit. "Uh..." Was all I could make out before Lilly planted a soft kiss on my lips. My eyes went wide for a second, my skin becoming extremely hot, I felt like backing away but every fiber of my being was telling me to kiss back.

Before I could, she pulled away. What an awkward kiss... I didn't enjoy it. I didn't even kiss back. She looked down, not at the ground, she just looked down- not making eye contact with me. That was a really lame kiss.

Well, if we're gonna do this, better do it right.

She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could I lifted her chin and placed a soft kiss on her lips again. Maybe it was her. Our mouths aren't the same so maybe she didn't know what she was doing. I mean of course she didn't know what she was doing she's never kissed a giant turtle before. But this kiss was better.

It didn't take long for her to kiss me back, her arms tightening around my neck and her body sorta fitting into mine. My arm around her waist tightened as well, trying to pull her as close as possible. She began to move her lips, I just...attempted to do the same, hoping I was doing it right. It felt nice... Her lips were so soft, her movements made me very...excited. Let's just say, thank god I'm a turtle. My other hand went to her upper back and held her in place as I leaned a little forward, dipping her slightly. The kiss suddenly became deep...it wasn't a kiss anymore it was an actual make out session now. Holy shit...

Lilly sort of jumped forward, her legs shifted upwards a little. When she pulled away for a split second, I thought it was over, that this thing was done already...so soon. But she cupped my cheek and began to kiss me even harder. I felt her tongue touch my lips. What the hell!? Holy shit!

I did the same. Touched her lips with my tongue. She parted her lips and then...moaned. Holy...shit...

She immediately pulled away after that. Her face was flushed red, she even pulled away from the hug. "I...I'm..." She stuttered, then quickly, she grabbed her bag and ran out of the room, leaving me with my heart in my throat and a yearning for more.

As soon as I heard the door shut, I sighed "Shit..." I threw myself back on the bed and no matter how hard I tried, the smile on my face never went away.

The door suddenly slammed open and Leo was standing there with an angry look on his face. "What did you do?" Her growled through gritted teeth.

"What?" I asked, finally wiping the smile off my face.

"Lilly just left without so much of a look to any of us. What did you say?" He said stepping into my room.

"Get out." I snapped.

"Damnit Raph. You're a selfish prick you know that."

"Shut up Leo. You don't know anything."

"I know that if you fuck this up with Lilly, it all goes to shit." Oh...he was mad alright. But I'm pretty sure both Lilly and I were more than okay. "April then Lilly..."

"She's not mad. She's fine. Trust me. Would you get out now?" I said, getting up from my bed. "Get out."

"Don't mess this up Raph. She's closest to you which is already a stupid decision on her part." Behind Leo was Mikey, who looked rather disappointed.

I sighed, "She's not mad. She's okay. I'm going to text her tonight. Alright Mikey?"

Leo turned to see Mikey sorta relax now. He nodded, "You sure?"

"I'm positive. Don't worry... Now leave before I make you." I said, pushing Leo out of my room since he's the only one in my room.

"Raph, don't mess this up."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Leave." I finally was able to push him out. "Thank you." I huffed exaggeratedly.

Donnie was the only one who stayed, his arms crossed over his chest and a smug smile on his lips. "Hypocrite..."

"What?"

He looked behind him until the guys were gone, then came really close to me causing me to jump backwards a bit. "I know you like Lilly..."

"What?"

"I know you do. Don't lie." He whispered. "And frankly, I don't care. It's actually quite amusing to see how none of us can get to you the way she does." He poked my chest. "She's under your skin..." He laughed. "Best part about it is you can't do anything about that no matter how hard you try. She's there and she's going to stay there for a long time."

I pushed his shoulders, "Shut up."

He raised his hands in surrender, "Hey... I'm not judging. Your secret is safe with me." He said before walking off.

Damnit... Why did he have to be right about everything?

~Lilly's POV~

I entered the house out of breath and sweating, quickly shutting the door with my back then dropping down to my bottom to catch my breath. Why did I run? Maybe he was following and lord knows I didn't want him to do that.

What was I doing? It was supposed to be one kiss. One fucking kiss! But instead it had to be a whole fucking make out session. I felt like throwing up once again, but I think that's because I ran too much.

I kissed Raphael. Scratch that, I made out with Raphael. That is the first and last time I will ever do that. It's not right. He's a turtle... Inter-species are only in shit like Star Trek or Star Wars or anything involving space and thing from different planets or something. Granted...it wasn't a bad kiss. It was good, better than I thought it was going to be. I thought it would be slimy or I thought maybe he had bad breath since I've never seen him brush or even bathe. But no... He wasn't slimy, his mouth was like a human but bigger- it was weird getting used to that but I caught on. And he didn't have bad breath at all...

I touched my lips, trying to remember the sensation, then shut my eyes. He was a soft kisser, only did things when I initiated them. Why did I initiate them in the first place? I moved my hand to my heart, feeling its rapid pulsing... I knew for sure that wasn't because of the running I just did. Oh god...

I kissed him and it was awkward. I didn't know how to kiss. I mean he didn't even kiss back, that's how bad it was! But then, he kissed me and I got lost... I have no idea what happened but that's all I wanted to do. I wanted to kiss him. His arms around me felt so much better than David's. For a virgin, he kisses great! It sure as hell got a bigger reaction out of me than David ever did.

It was so wrong... I shouldn't be kissing a mutant. My best friend. But man...did it feel right.

I shook those thoughts from my head and got up. "God what have I done?"

Wonder how this is going to turn out for Raph and Lilly? Let me know what you think. I have about three chapters done soon they'll be in soon I hope. Thanks for reading !