I have done so many chapters, but i'm waiting for that laptop. so I have to get a job and go to school which mean I'll most likely be posting less but life right now is ugh... Kids, stay in school. lol, I'll try and post as much as I can bc I 've done so many chapters and I really want to hear your opinions on them.

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Enjoy... And I have a feeling you will.

Song for this chapter - Mi Verdad feat. Shakira ~ Mana

Things Are Looking Up

A week later...

~Lilly's POV~

"Lillian... Thank you for being patient. I heard there was a little misunderstanding when it came to this audition." The head judge said.

I nodded, "Yes, sir."

Ms Stevenson was able to get the judges she always uses for auditions back for one day just for me. One condition only, I say nothing. I keep it to myself every detail. Last time I auditioned, the district knew I was new, they don't know about this audition. And if they found out she gave me an audition, she'd probably get fired. So I didn't even tell my mom where I was.

The auditions were pretty standard for high schoolers. Two alumni teach me dances that they have choreographed, both were very different from each other. One fast, hip hop and the other slow, contemporary. I completely bombed the hip hop one, but the contemporary one- I even made one of the judges smile. Overall I was confident that I got in but I knew I couldn't get cocky over one good double pirouette.

All of the judges were professional. Ms Stevenson would just sit on the sidelines and watch with a smile on her face. There was John, the head director that has choreographed for people on Broadway. Jalissa, she taught Ms Stevenson when she was young, she's old now and someone you never wanna mess with. And lastly there was Antwon, the alumni taught me the hip hop dance that I bombed- he was nice but stern. They were all the same judges I met last year when I first auditioned, they remembered me.

"I don't want this happening again." Jalissa said. "Next time someone tells you something, check in with Ms Stevenson after to make sure what was told to you was true."

"Yes, ma'am." I said softly.

"You can never really trust someone." Antwon said, scratching his chin.

I nodded, obviously you can't. And I know that now. I barely trust my own mother. My trust rests in the guys and myself.

John leaned forward, he took off his glasses and began to chew on the arm. "We've all come to a decision, Feliz had nothing to do with it although she did try to change some of our opinions." Oh fuck... "Your last audition was good. But this one did not go the same way." Oh fuck, I'm not in. My heart began to pound in my throat, I tried to swallow it back down but it stayed. "This time... You were better. So, congratulations. Welcome back to Advance Dance."

I wanted to scream, I wanted to jump and yell and give someone a hug. Instead I smiled and bowed my head, "Thank you very much. I'm glad to be back."

Ms Stevenson came over running, nearly picking me up as she hugged me. "I knew you would do it!" She screamed. I hugged her back.

"Feliz," John said. "You've taught her well. Lillian, come take this." He said holding out a card. "It's my contact information. Call me when you graduate."

I let go of Ms Stevenson and walked up to the table to take the card. "Thank you, sir."

"Don't do this again next year." He said pointing at me.

"I promise." I said with a chuckle. "Thank you once again." I ran back to Ms Stevenson. "Thank you for giving me a second chance." I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

She shook her head, "Don't worry about it. Now, go home and rest. Celebrate." She gave me another hug. "I'll talk to your counselor about your schedule change. I'll tell them there's been a mistake."

"Thank you. Thank you so much." I went over to the corner of the room and grabbed my bag. "Thank you."

John held up his hands, "Alright alright, go before I change my mind." He chuckled.

I nodded, "Thank you."

"Go! It's Saturday. Go hang with your peeps or whatever." He chuckled.

I ran out of the room all smiles. As soon as that door shut behind me, I began to jump and mewl like a child that just got a new toy. I hate to sound cocky but I already knew I was going to get in but only because I knew I did well. Dancing is the only thing I'm confident in, the only thing I know I am good at. I mean, yeah sure I sing but I hate singing. I only do it for myself when I'm alone- it's not going to take me anywhere. I love dancing, I love feeling the rhythm become a part of my muscles and I love the way it controls me. Dance is my only soul mate.

I walk to the front of the school to find my ride. When I spot it, I walk over and knock on the door. It slides open, I step inside and it closes. "Thanks again for picking me up. I don't want to go home."

Leo shook his head, "It's no problem. We're having a resting day anyways so we're not doing anything."

"So," Donnie asked from behind his...he has a desk in this thing? "How'd it go?"

I smiled, "I got in."

"That's awesome."

"Alright, congrats!"

"Thank you. I also got one of the judge's contact information. He teaches people on Broadway. He said to call him after I graduate." I fumbled with the card in between my fingers. "But, I don't know..."

"What's wrong? We've all seen you dance. You're more than capable to be on Broadway when you're older and have more experience." Leo said, as he drove. How does he drive with no windows? That screen isn't big.

"I know. But I never felt like dancing was a career choice for me." I shrugged. "I don't know why. Never felt realistic."

Donnie nodded, "It's a rarity. But you have the talent."

I smiled, "I'm not really into musicals either."

"Can you sing? Or act?" Leo asked.

"I've never acted. Maybe like have I ever looked happy when I'm some other emotion. Yeah. But never on stage in front of a crowd. That gets me nervous just thinking about it." I shivered, I walked over to a seat right behind Donnie and decided to sit after the ride got really bumpy all of a sudden.

"Well, if you can sing you can act." Leo said. "They're very similar."

"I can carry a tune." I said simply. My attention was on the map right behind me. Every street, every turn. It was like retro GPS, I don't even know how to use a map.

"Maybe you should show us, later." Donnie chuckled as we came to a halt. "And of course, when I say later I mean now."

I stood up as the doors slid open and a little bell went off. Leo walked out first then helped me off, I mean sweet but I could do it by myself. "See, I've never sang for anyone. It makes me cringe."

"Why?" Leo chuckled.

"Everyone can sing now-a-days. It seems way too cliché for me to sing. That's why I took dance." I shrugged, walking through those gates and into the lair.

"Then why don't you do it professionally?" He laughed, giving my back a pat.

"I just..." I sighed. "You got me..." I laughed. I turned my attention to Raphael as he punched a punching dummy. My heart immediately jumped in my throat at the sight of him. In fact, I couldn't take my eyes off of him. The way his muscles contracted or would bulge out with every punch, every once and a while he'd kick the dummy. I forced myself to look away when he grabbed the dummy and began to pant, looking over his shoulder and accidentally locking eyes with mine. I sat on the couch an blushed, my face warming up to the point where I wanted to fan myself.

"Hey sis," Mikey said, sitting next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me in.

I laughed softly, "Hi, Mikey." I didn't want to, I tried everything in my power not to, but I looked and found Raph staring at me. My heart pounded in my chest, "Raph..." I said a little too softly. Why am I acting shy?

"Hey," he huffed, grabbing a small towel and wiping his sweaty face. "So uh..." He draped the towel on his shoulder. "How'd it go?"

"I got in." I said with a humble smile.

Mikey's hug tightened, "That's my girl! Yeah, give three." He held out his hand to which I happily smacked. "Knew you could do it."

"Congrats." Raph replied softly.

I bit my lip to stop myself from smiling but failed miserably, "Thanks."

Mikey took the card I had our of my hands, "What's this?" He said, reading the card. "Who's John-"

I snatched the card out of his hands, "It's one of the judges' contact information. He said I was better than last years audition." I decided to put this card in my pocket. I'm not sure I'll use it but... Just in case.

I saw Donnie walk up to Raph and whisper something in his ear, to which he smacked his arm. "I'm going to take a shower." He huffed, then walked away.

I stared at Donnie curiously, "What happened? What'd you say?" I asked softly so Raph wouldn't hear me.

Donnie shook his head, "Nothing, he just stinks." He sighed. He then he walked up to me and held out his hand, "Come with me..." I blinked, "I just have to show you something."

I took his hand, nodding confused. I looked at Mikey and Leo to see if they knew about any of this but Leo seemed to pay no mind to us and Mikey just shrugged. Okay... I followed him into his lab, he shut and locked the big metallic doors behind me and I jump, not in shock or fear. "Donnie..."

Donnie pulled up two chairs, sitting in one and motioning for me to sit in the other. "I have to tell you something."

"You're scaring me..." I said as I sat down slowly.

He shook his head, "I wouldn't be worried. I'm just curious." He sighed deeply. "So, I hope we could keep what I'm about to say to ourselves."

I nodded, "Okay... Sure."

He sighed, "Lillian, I know about your feelings for Raph."

I felt my face heat up once again, in fact my whole body began to heat up. My stomach tightened in shock, it felt as if I just was caught with my hand in the cookie jar. "W-What?"

"Yes, I know. And I also know Raph has feelings for you."

I knew it! And here I thought he was actually being honest when he said he didn't.

"I talked to him recently and he is...afraid." He sighed. "I have many theories as to what he's afraid of but he won't tell me directly. And he's told me a lot. And I want to ask why or of what he's so afraid of but-"

"It's Raph..." I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Yeah... So, I pulled you in here in hopes that maybe I could get a few answers." Donnie leaned forward, suddenly getting very serious. "Do you, in fact, have feelings for Raph?"

I sighed, "I'm still trying to process that myself. So, forgive me if I say I don't know. I mean, I've never liked...anyone that wasn't human."

He nodded, "I understand. Trust me, I do."

"That's not saying I don't like him. Raph is one of my good...best friends." I hugged myself and smiled. "I do care for him..."

"Do you...see anything with him? A future?"

"What like marriage? Two kids?" I laughed. "Ew gross..."

"That's not-" he chuckled. "Let me rephrase..."

"No no, I'm just joking. Since most of my answers are going to be an 'I don't know' my answer to that is maybe. Raph has made it clear that if I were to like him or try to go through with a relationship he'd be mad because he's dangerous-"

"We're not dangerous." Donnie snorted softly, rubbing his face. "He's pushing you away." He reached out for my hand and I didn't hesitate to give it to him. "Please, I know it may be hard but make Raph happy. Don't let him push you away. It's asking a lot-"

"You're telling me..." I chuckled at his forwardness. "I don't like being forced into-"

"No no. I don't want to force anything. If I do then there's a chance that this won't happen." He sighed. "Look," he started. "There wasn't any hope for us. We grew up knowing that no one was ever going to love us. We knew we were too different. I met April..."

"You do like her..." I said, a smile growing on my face when I saw the blush forming at his cheeks.

"That's not the point. The point is...liking her makes me feel normal and gives me hope that one day someone won't be so repulsed..." He sighed heavily before speaking again. "I think that's what Raph sees in you. You give him some sort of...hope. He doesn't know how to react because he's never felt this way towards anyone. I know it may be a lot. I guess the least I can say is don't hurt him. Asking you to try and pursue anything as so much and I don't want to frighten you."

"I'm not frightened..." I lied. "Okay maybe a little. But that's only because-"

"We're not human. I know..."

"It's not just that." I mean it's a huge chunk but not the only reason why I'm terrified to like Raph. "Raph and I get a long to the point where I can tell him anything and feel comfortable with his reaction. I've never had a boyfriend and a best friend. And also, if I were to go out with him, what do I tell people? I can't go on a date with him. I can't go to the movies. It'd be a huge...change."

"I understand. It'd be a miracle if we all found love one day."

I stood up, "I don't love Raph."

He blinked at my seriousness, sort of taken a back by how stern my voice was. "I didn't say you did."

I slowly sat back down, I hate those words. "Okay, so what? I like Raph... Doesn't mean we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together."

"I didn't sa-"

"You may think that Raph likes me but has he really said those words exactly to you?" I asked, the walls around my vulnerable spots were starting to build back up again.

He thought for a moment, "Well...no but he did-"

"Then how do you know?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

"He...has this urge to do everything he can to protect you. And yes, he'll protect April as well, but with you it's very different."

"How so?"

"He will do everything he can to make sure you are safe. Anything and everything." Donnie smiled. "You're very special to him and I knew it before anyone else."

I felt my cheeks warm up for what felt like the seventeenth time that day. I think this feeling is called 'butterflies' and I've had them before. My first boyfriend... I fell hard for that guy and it all led to shit. Which is why I want to take it slow if I'm going to take it anywhere with Raphael. Because I don't get butterflies for just any guy that's nice to me. And Raph hasn't been nice 100% of the time. "I'll... I have to think on it."

"Yeah, take as much time as you need. But I wouldn't count on Raph making the first move." He joked playfully touching my knee. "Thank you for hearing me out."

I smiled, "Thank you for telling me." I stood up and headed for the door. "No one knows but you?" I asked before opening it.

"Well, and you. But other than that, yeah." He said, smiling as I walked out the lab.

So two people have told me Raph likes me. Only person that hasn't, who's opinion actually matters is Raphael himself. I've already asked him if he likes me and he always says no. That kiss he gave me... All the more reason to make me think he does. This doesn't have to be this complicated. I mean, it's complicated but why does it have to be this complicated.

I headed back to the couch to sit and hopefully think about things. Maybe if I think hard enough I'll have this problem figure out in no time. Is that how feelings work? I had feelings for David but... Why are these feelings different with Raph? Is it because he's a mutant? I'm making no sense...

I'll figure this out soon...

Later...

I haven't moved from this spot in 3 hours or something. I don't know how many episodes of that really bad anime I've watched, maybe like six. All I know is I'm getting looks from Leo and Raph, it may be because I haven't said a word either. I don't look mad or sad, at least that's what I think. Maybe I look constipated.

Finally, someone kicked my legs which woke me up from my thoughts. I turned to find an angry looking Raph. When is he not angry? "Hey,"

I blinked, "Uh... Hi."

"What's the matter with you?" He asked, tossing himself onto the couch.

I shook my head, "Nothing's the matter. I'm fine. Why?"

"You've been sitting there for a long time and you haven't said a word. Something wrong?" He asked again, as if thinking I'm lying.

"No. I'm fine. Just..." I sighed, smiling to reassure him. "I'm fine. Promise."

He huffed before looking at the tv. I just stared at him, my eyes looking at every inch of his face. Do I really like this guy? I made my way down his muscled arms, my mind flashing back to whenever he held me close with them. His hand, how they were so gentle whenever he touched me, but just a minute ago I saw him beating the shit out of a man-shaped bag of sand. I looked back up at his face... Yup, I like this guy...

Jesus, didn't I just have a boyfriend like a couple months ago? I move on pretty quickly.

Hmm... So I like a mutant. That's a huge change compared to what I usually like. Now that I've finally admitted to myself, do I want to make something out of this? Because if I do, I have to think about all the things I can and can't do.

I should make a pros and cons list. Cons first...

Cons: can't go out- that's a big one. My mother, God I haven't thought about her. She'd never approve. What if I want to...do I want to...? I mean, relationships aren't just about sex. But if we were too... I shook my head from the thoughts. Raph hasn't really awaken any sexual beast in me yet so I'm pretty sure I don't have to worry about anything like that. At least... Not now...

Okay okay... Pros to dating Raph...

I look back at him and smile. Big pro: I'd be dating my best friend. A protector. I'd be safe. He'll care more than now. I'd be his number one. I'd be his only one...

"What?" Raph suddenly said, looking at me as though I were crazy.

I blinked myself from my thoughts, shit. "What?"

"Why are you staring at me like that? Freaking weirdo..." He chuckled.

I playfully pushed his leg with my foot. "Shut up. I was thinking."

He smirked, "Oh yeah?" He pushed my leg with his foot. "About what?"

Should I tell him? 'I'm thinking about whether or not I should ask you out.' I laughed, "Whether or not I should get a job."

"And you're staring at me because...? I help you think or something cheesy like that?"

I snorted, "Something like that..."

"What job?" He asked, changing the subject.

"A small liquor store just down the street from my house. Or a bakery. Something small." I quickly lie, suddenly thinking that maybe I should get a job... I should.

"Really? That's cool... Gonna help your mom?"

"Yeah, she's making money now but most of it goes to the bills of the house which are no longer getting paid late." I sighed.

"Oh? Congrats. You're almost a normal family." He laughed softly, teasingly.

I nodded, "Thanks, can wait to join the land of conformity and apple pie."

Raph, how am I supposed to tell you that I really like you when only a couple weeks ago I was telling you I didn't know whether or not I had any romantic feelings towards you? I felt my cheeks grow warm, and I did everything I could to hide my embarrassed looking face. Maybe I should go home... What time was it? I grabbed my phone and peaked, it was only 5... Too early for me to say it's late as an excuse.

I should just go anyways, I have to check on my mom. John is going crazy because of this job my mom has. Thankfully my mom hasn't quit...yet at least.

"I gotta leave soon. Mom has this...thing." I said, stretching my muscles out.

Raph coughed, "Uh..." He stood up, almost seeming nervous. "L-Let me walk you home." He stuttered.

I smiled, "You don't have to do that. It's daylight out still and-"

"Yeah..." He said softly, almost disappointingly. "R-Right..."

I grabbed my bag and went over to Mikey and kissed his forehead, "Bye sweetie." I then waved at everyone else who was just chilling on the floor or on those bean bags. "Bye guys." I said waving goodbye.

I turn around and smiled at Raph, "Bye..." I started for the exit.

I jumped when Raph suddenly popped up in front of me, "Daylight savings is coming up so...it getting darker faster now." He chuckled softly.

I raised my brow in confusion, "I'll be fine." I laughed, walking around him and out of the lair.

"Lilly!" Donnie suddenly yelped. I turned around just to glare at him. I know what he was going to say. "Why don't you go with Raph? I read a statistic online saying that 64% of all muggings happen between the times of 5 o'clock and and 7, just before dark rolls along. You should take Raph with you, just in case."

I had daggers in my stare, "Well Donnie," I chuckled. "You really shouldn't trust everything you see on the internet. I thought you were way smarter than that." I said before turning around once again.

My arm was grabbed and I was pulled back, "Just let me walk you halfway." Halfway is still a long way. But he wasn't going to let me go alone and I was too much of a sap to say no and possibly hurt him.

I sighed, "Alright..." I began walking without even saying goodbye a second time. I knew Raph was right on my tail and I had no idea if he was going to speak, or if I was first. Maybe I should? Am I walking too fast? I feel like I'm jogging...

I turned to see Raph just walking along, a little far back.

"You're walking slow." I muttered.

"No I'm not. You're walking fast." He said with a smirk. "Slow down, what's the rush?"

"I have to get home before its dark. Since you guys are so paranoid about me getting attacked." I huffed, rolling my eyes at him.

"It's New York. You could never be too safe." He said catching up to me.

"I'm fine." I growled. "You know, I don't need you as a body guard." I said as we made our way into the sewers. "I'm safe with or without you."

"What the hell crawled up your ass?" He suddenly spat.

"Nothing. I'm just sick and tired of you guys thinking that I'm weak and defenseless. I've fought off my mothers boyfriend before."

"Okay, well it's different when some guy has a gun, or a knife and is-"

"You always make up these fake scenarios. I have no money, I'm useless. Nothing is going to happen."

Raph steps in front of me, the look of seriousness on his face nearly scared the crap out of me. "You say that now but then it does happen. It is not a pretty world out the-"

"Believe me, Raphael." I interrupted. "I know. I know just as much as you do. Okay?" I suddenly grew very uncomfortable, feeling this conversation drift into an area where there was no return from. I took a deep breath and walked around him, coming up on the exit.

Raph stayed behind and stayed silent. I didn't want to argue. Especially about things that happen rarely to teenagers. Unless I'm wrong then, whatever. I just wanted to get out of this smelly sewers and take a nice hot shower. My muscles are starting to ache from the audition.

I was about to go up the ladder without saying a word, but something stopped me. Raph didn't deserve to be yelled at just because I was frustrated by my own reasons. My heart began to pound when I turned around and looked at him, catching him off guard. "I..." I started before sighing." I really appreciate the fact that you are willing to protect me before things even happen."

Raph chuckled, "Yeah..."

"I do. It's nice to know a ninja is on my side." I joked playfully before walking up the ladder...then promptly walking down. "Do you want to walk me home?"

"All the way?" He asked. "Thought you didn't want me to. I'm not your body guard."

I shrugged, "If you don't want to..." I said, beginning to climb up the ladder, pushing the manhole up as hard as I could.

"I never said that." I heard Raph grumble under his breath before climbing up right behind me.

Once I got out of the sewers, I took a deep breath, as I usually do, smelling the the sweet musky air of the city to get the smell of sewer out of my nose. I sighed, turning around to see him placing the manhole cover back. "Shall we?"

Then we walked and just like last time, it was total silence. And I was okay with that. I didn't want to talk about what happened before or even about the kiss. I didn't want to talk. I wanted to think. What do I want? I needed to find out because if I know what I want now, it's less problems in the future. I hope Raph knows what he wants. Because this shit cannot be one sided. Maybe I should bring that up...

We got to my roof top after jumping and hopping and all that nonsense. I began to walk down the metallic stairs of the fire escape trying to find a way to say goodbye but also trying to find a way to say...something other than that. Truth is, I didn't want him to go just yet.

I hate being cheesy...

I turned around before entering my room, opening my mouth to say something but not finding the words.

Raph raised an eye ridge in confusion, "Um... You okay?"

I sighed heavily, letting my head fall. "I don't know..."

He chuckled, obviously uncomfortable. "Well... I'm gonna-"

"No, wait!" I yelped maybe a little too loud. My hand reached out to grab his, I took my other hand and grabbed his thumb just astounded by how big his hands were. "I..." Should have figured out how to start this! I'm an idiot!

Raph's eyes were wide, staring at my face as if I were insane! And I felt myself slowly starting to go down that path.

"Raph I..." I took a deep breath, "Remember when I said that I didn't know..."

He chuckled, I felt his hand almost close around my hands. "Um, can you be more specific?"

"Last time I saw you..." I felt my heart leap into my throat.

"Oh..." He came down a step and I could feel myself getting even more nervous. "Yeah..."

"Well, ever since then...I couldn't stop thinking about it. And I think that I've come to a conclusion."

He nodded.

"It's just... I don't know what I want to do, I don't know...what we should do." How do I put my feelings into words that actually make sense?

He took his hand out of my grip and took another step closer. "O-Okay..."

"I know, that night we kissed, I know you didn't want it to affect our-"

"Lillian..." He sighed, smiling softly. "You know me. I'm not patient so could you please..." He made a circling motion with his hands. "Get on with it..."

I scoffed, "Well you don't have to have an attitude."

He glared at me, his eyes almost glowing with frustration. "Fine." He snapped. "Answer the question I asked that night. Now that you had a couple days to think about it, answer the question yes or no."

I blinked, "Yes or no? It's much more complicated than that."

"Only because you're making it... It's a simple yes or no." He stepped down again.

I sorta backed away, and he kept coming towards me. I placed a hand on my heart and laughed nervously. "Again, it is much more complicated than you think. If I tell you how I feel what do we do after that?"

"Depends." He said simply, with a fucking shrug. A shrug?! This is serious, this isn't shrug worthy!

I sighed again, "Well how do you feel?"

"Don't." He huffed. "Answer."

I hated being told what to do. I almost didn't want to answer, he's being an asshole. Or he's just being Raph. "You're an asshole." I chuckled.

"Why am I the asshole?"

"You're always an asshole."

"I'm just trying to get you to answer a question you don't want to answer." He was so close to me. "If you're afraid of hurting my feelings, don't be. I'll be fine."

"I'm not. I'm pretty sure I won't."

"Why?" I felt myself freeze at the tone of his voice. It was so serious and stern, but then the next thing he said was so soft. "Do you like me then?"

"Do you?"

He finally closed the distance between us, reaching out to cup my face. I felt myself become light, almost as if I were floating towards him. Nothing felt real as he leaned in to kiss me. Before he could kiss me though, his eyes stared deeply into mine with such intensity that it made me want to melt. He smiled, "Maybe...a little." He whispered before he kissed me softly. So softly...

I cupped his face, my body... My body felt like it was coming to life as his hand slid down to my waist. My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him as close as I could to my lips. I wanted the kiss to be deeper, why did I want the kiss to be deeper? He just...he felt so good... He wasn't too much. He wasn't too little. This was just like last time. When he pulled away, I almost whined in frustration.

He laughed, resting his forehead against mine. "This..." He chuckled softly. "This is unreal..."

I smiled playfully. "Tell me about it..."

"This doesn't mean we're together...does it?" He asked, his arms tightening around my waist.

"Well, I don't-"

Suddenly there was a loud crash coming from the living room, startling both of us- me more than anything. Only one thing came to my mind in that very moment.

"Mom..."

So are they together? It sure does look like it. Just a heads up, this fic is probably going to be a really long one, and it will have a sequel. Just a heads up!