The confidence that pushed her forward shook a little when she entered the dining room. Find a place to squeeze at the crowded bar or sit at one of the small tables? The decision seemed to be made for her since none of the tables were empty at a first glance. Beth gave the room a second quick scan to see if she recognized anyone but no one stood out.
All right, she told herself, she couldn't stand around or she'd lose her nerve and turn right back around. She had told herself she'd have one drink and that's what she was going to do.
The bar too was filled with guests and it took her a minutes to catch the bartender's attention. A whiskey in hand and a tip left behind beside her, she shared polite small talk with one of the guests when she spotted an empty spot at the bar a short distance from her and quickly stepped forward to grab it.
"Hi," Beth smiled as she noticed who stood beside her, setting her empty glass on the counter.
"Hi," Karin lifted her drink. "I didn't think I'd see you before you left." Before she could make eye contact with the bartender Beth did, and the bartender approached the women.
"Bourbon please."
"On the rocks this time?"
Beth shook her head. She turned to Karin. "Taking the night off?"
"Never," Karin finished her drink and motioned to the bartender for another. "But even I get a drink."
"Thank you," Beth nodded at the bartender, taking out her wallet. Karin put her hand on her wallet.
"It's on the house."
"Oh, you don't have to-"
"Not me," Karin motioned with her head towards a boisterous table some feet away, where Beth quickly identified Christopher and Seth.
"How about we call it truce for tonight?" Karin said.
"Sure, I just don't want to-"
Karin laughed and slid off the bar stool. "You can leave a tip if you want. Come on."
Her scan must've been a superficial one because it looked like the group had been sitting in the dining room for more the a minute. Beth recognized a few faces too from her first night, if not the names. A couple of chairs were added for her and Karin. Laughter filled the space and people talked around her other as if they've known one another for years. How would she fit in, she thought, when others wouldn't know who she was. What would it be to navigate this world like that?
"You staying back tomorrow?" Karin asked.
"Me? No, I'm going home," Beth said and paused when she heard herself launch into what was waiting for her in Detroit. She wasn't from Detroit, not know. "How was- Have you had to relocate before?" Beth asked, trying to keep her question vague enough, in case they were listened to.
"Oh, I go back and forth," Karin waved her hand. She then laughed and Beth wondered if it was in response to something in her face changing. She had kids – how could she do it? "I have help. A good team here, acting manager."
"Isn't it exhausting?"
"Yes. I think about moving but the kids. With their dad – it'd be complicated."
The man sitting next to Karin commented on her cocktail and the conversation moved on. Beth listened and eventually turned to the woman beside her. She wouldn't mind hearing more about Karin's experience, seeing what she could gather from it, but the challenge of having to resist bringing up anything from the lives they both shared was hard, and the temptation would be constant as long as they sat together. When she spotted a woman she had spoken with at the party about dressmaking she excused herself to talk to her. Right now she didn't want to have to keep up with two stories. She preferred to pretend.
It wasn't a bad idea but for one variable. Somewhere between the second and third drink it hit her. It hadn't been that long since she'd felt buzzed but it was with Ruby and Annie at her place, maybe at one of theirs, not with a group of mostly strangers, the entire time having to keep her character tangible. No kids. Not married. At least she kept some aspects, her knitting and clothes making being two. Over the past few days she learned how to redirect the conversation when questions became too personal or to keep the conversation light. Though she was tired, it was fun to stay back, to revisit old conversations with people she'd talked with before. To relax a little, bourbon in hand, in easy conversations, to contrast with the tension and work she'd been doing the past few days.
'The best part of the last few days? Celebrating with you," She answered Christopher's question with a laugh and leaned back on her chair, having rejoined the table.
"You get used to the ups and lows," Christopher studied his drink and Beth knew he understood what she was talking about. It wasn't clear how much he knew but surely he was celebrating as well.
"Highs and lows. He's lying. Because he doesn't," Seth said pointedly, his hand on Christopher's. "But if he's lying to you about that, it's a good sign."
"What are you talking about? And Georgia doesn't count."
Beth smiled, enjoying the teasing between the couple. Behind it were two people who were so affectionate and comfortable with each other and she missed that.
"We want this one to stick around. Don't scare her away," Christopher added. "If Rio brought her into this you know he's not messing around."
"Hold on," A woman across from Beth held her palm up to the man she was speaking with. "Just a second," she said to him. "You're Alanna?"
The way her name was said, like there was a story behind her, warmed her face. Beth nodded.
"She said her name."
The woman's mouth was still dropped. "I didn't make the connection." She took Beth in with newfound respect.
It wasn't that Beth didn't enjoy the attention and even a seeming glamour to be associated with Rio. Something about it left her searching though. She wanted to make a name for herself. Without belonging to someone else. Without being connected with someone else. Without repeating – it was just she'd done that in her marriage, It wasn't that she didn't want to be proud of her partner's accomplishments. She just wanted to also be known for herself.
"Chris, listen," Seth turned to Christopher. "If your fourth sailing trip story didn't, she's not going anywhere."
The knock roused her from a vivid dream of wandering through a corn field underwater. Not quite walking because it felt like she was hovering above ground, her dress flowing along with the waves, or maybe it was making up the waves. The tapping stepped inside and pulled her out, leaving behind its echo in the quiet room. Feet on the cool stiff carpet she took a few steps before putting her hand against the wall, putting her weight off her left foot. She'd stayed out later than she had planned and she was pretty sure the clock showed at least 2:30 AM when she'd fallen into bed.
What if she just fell back into it, she thought as she put her head against the back of her hand, waiting for her brain to catch up with her standing position. She wasn't feeling any less sober than when her head had first rested on the pillow what – at least a few hours ago. She didn't really want risk a peek at the clock on her bedside to confirm the time.
A knock sounded again and Beth groaned, leaning off the wall and trudging towards the door. Her hand on the doorknob she paused and checked the peephole first to see who it was. With a light sigh she unlocked the door and swung it backwards.
"I should be happy that you knocked." She rubbed her eyes and squinted against the punishing hallway light. It took effort not to sound like she was slurring her words but with her exhaustion she just about didn't care. Something else annoyed her anyway, though briefly, how like some stupid teenager, the tiredness quieted down something too akin to excitement at seeing him. It was only the relief at the ending of this trip. Anticipation of finally returning home. To get that coveted green light they were back in work with him.
"Boss had to use my room," Rio said.
It was so rare to see him sheepish, almost apologetic, that Beth had to swallow a smile.
"What made you come here?" Her hand still rounded the doorknob. He really must have trusted himself that he thought he wouldn't get carried away for something to happen between them.
Not expecting an answer, she backed up a step, let go of the door and headed back to her bed. It clicked shut and gulped the light away. The room darkened, throwing shadows on objects that she'd seen vividly moments ago. With every step she heard him take behind her the burden on her chest became lighter. The bed creaked as she sat down and held her head, unable to stop herself. The boat was moving but it wasn't that that was making her feel like it was caught in a storm and she really needed the dizziness to stop.
"Have a party without me?" He asked, and Beth picked up on the softness in his voice with the tips of her fingers and shoved it into a closet in her mind.
"Is it your boss who decides?" She asked.
"Decides what?"
"If I- we're in?" Beth asked, lifting her eyes. Rio stood inches from where she'd leaned against the wall a minute ago. He looked away and she kept her eyes on him as long as she could before exhaling deeply and closing her eyes, putting her chin on her palm.
"No, it's not." Rio said.
Beth's fingers wrapped around the edge of the mattress. That coil stretched as neither of them spoke. As long as she'd keep her head fairly steady the dizziness was better. She wanted to ask him to move, to point to the love seat that was just a short distance from the bed. The words stayed in the back of her throat. She needed to quiet down her body, now confused between what to do first.
"Party too much?" He asked.
"I have an awful headache." Beth put her arms beside her on the mattress. "I might have had one or two drinks too much." To be drunk in front of him, she would've rather have been caught by anyone else. Dean.
Rio's footsteps softened and belatedly she understood he had left the room. A light turned on in the bathroom. Could she just lie down? That was the only thing that she wanted to do right now. He'd know how to get to sleep. Sleep was welcoming her back...
"Drink."
Beth opened her eyes to find Rio holding out a glass of water to her.
She wrinkled her noise. "You're not the boss of me."
"Don't I know it," he held the glass firmly in front of her face.
Beth looked down into the surface of the clear fluid before gulping it down, the coolness filling her stomach. Rio took the glass from her and walked back. The bed ever more inviting, Beth scooted away from the edge and lied down. She felt better with her eyes closed, when she was able to focus on her breathes.
"Elizabeth."
"What?"
"There's more."
She didn't reply, wanting him to say her name again. The stern twinge to it didn't take away from her wanting to hear it. "I'm sleeping."
The mattress sank in as he sat on the bed beside her. "Now."
She bit a sharp retort. If the room was spinning any less or if her head was bothering her any less she'd refuse but she knew she'd likely be better for it. Stifling a whine she sat up against the headboard and sipped on the glass, drinking half before putting it out to him. Rio shook his head. Once done she set the glass on the night stand and dragged herself a bit further away from Rio before sliding under the blanket. This time he didn't leave.
"I feel terrible," she murmured, bringing her blankets up to her chest.
"You'll feel worse tomorrow," Beth felt the bed shift as he put his legs on the bed. She breathed a little easier but warm spread through her chest and the skin on her arms hummed as Rio got settled.
She turned on her side, facing him. "I might throw up on you," she warned.
"That how you kick me out of bed?"
"Ugh," Beth closed her eyes, rubbing her forehead.
"You gonna throw up?"
"I think I stopped a few drinks in advance." Not that it much solace right now. The pounding in her head had started, signaling a reminder that it was a good time to end conversation and go to sleep. Not that she'd mind terribly the company, not that her mind wasn't going places she was having a hard time dragging herself away from, but in her state she couldn't let anything go far even if she wanted to, even if –
It'd work with him sitting in the love seat keeping her silent company. That is, if she wasn't so keen on falling right back asleep. When she'd enjoyed her drinks she had expected to be able to sleep it off. Not that she was complaining exactly, she just wasn't liking at all him seeing her like this, even if in her still inebriated state that feeling was mixed with ambivalence. Sleep was just trying to drag her back to fall back into that field she'd floated through, but that taste of thrill that he came back to her, that though he had a distraction, maybe, likely, more than one, he'd come here. Let her have this. She wanted to stay awake just a little longer to enjoy it.
She felt a gentle tug on her scalp and his fingers in her hair, caressing her gently. A pleasant shiver went up her arms and her breathing slowed. If her eyes hadn't already been closed they would've shut at the contact. Turning her body towards him she brought her arms and thighs closer to her chest, her concentration focused on the sweet comfort it brought.
"Is this OK?" He asked, the balls of his fingers touching her scalp, applying pressure.
Nothing she could think of would make her want him to stop. "Mhm."
Rio's fingers moved in circles, changing pressure, staying in the same spot when she hummed back at him. What was he doing? Why was he doing this for her? Please don't think, she told herself. Please don't think.
"I ain't doing this all night."
"Mhm."
As he started massaging her skin Beth barely held back a groan.
"If I had a job, I'd hire you to do this." She said lightly and laughed at her joke. A humming tingling sensation traveled from her limbs through her chest to her face and his fingers were all she could concentrate on, taking away her focus from the discomfort of what she suspected would be an impending hangover. The pounding in her head may have been as strong but she couldn't quite feel that either. Beth sighed contentedly. When was the last time that a man had touched her this way? She didn't dare to calculate much further than a few years ago. And for Rio to see her like this, to comfort her. It was an exception. This was OK.
Sliding back and forth over the blurry line between consciousness and dreaming the bed shifted with Rio changing his position and she was almost sure she heard him mumble, "Elizabeth, I can't- you too much."
Her eyes blinked open. The bedside lamp was turned off, leaving a mask of darkness over her. She dreamed it, she must have. Her stomach cramped up like a dried up piece of paper with sharp edges, scratching at her insides. She curled her toes, otherwise laying still and breathed through it. The pounding in her head had thankfully stopped.
No, it had definitely had happened. He had taken care of her. Sweet of him to do that and her body played through how it felt to have his fingers in her hair, on her scalp, and she closed her eyes. She must've been sleeping soundly since she hadn't heard him leave. What was it, he had said something about someone being in his room? Maybe his room had cleared out. Or he was on the love seat. Trying to glance over to it, she groggily registered she was warm, wearing one layer too many, something heavy around her. Strange, because she didn't remember having more than one shirt on. Shrugging her arm, the weight not giving, she froze.
She'd woken up in his arms. Disoriented by drowsiness and alcohol she hadn't realized that her head was leaning against his chest, his arm holding her to him. Rio's breathing was steady but she was still unsure if he was awake or not and there was nothing less she wanted than to wake him. She breathed in the smell of him and focused on the feel of his strong arms around her waist. Her body tingled as she listened to his deep breathes. Hesitating with her hand flat on the mattress, she risked bringing it closer and putting it on his chest, the pushing and retreat against her palm calming her.
When had she gotten a chance to see him so relaxed, to the point that he'd fallen asleep, no less? Never. If she hadn't been hungover, if they hadn't come on this trip, how would they have even ended up like this otherwise?
Thoughts slipped in about the last person she'd been with like this – and thoughts of what it was like to lie side by side with Dean, to wondering how he'd felt when he and Amber – she tried to push those thoughts away. It had just been – a long time since she'd shared a bed with anyone.
The temptation to sneak a peak at his face was immense but it meant she'd have to lean back. If he'd wake up and left she just – wasn't ready for that, not with it being over tomorrow. That she'd never admit to anyone. She pressed her arms and hands together in front of her fighting her eyes from closing. If she'd have that clock above her head, like those she had in her high school classrooms, she'd see the minute hand gathering dust as it picked up speed, bringing daylight closer. As much as she wanted to enjoy the moment of being held by him with each second the same moment was slipping him away from her.
Sliding her head back a few inches she looked up at Rio's face. His eyes were closed and his features lax. It felt a little silly, finding intimacy in a place that didn't belong to her. She wasn't sure what to do with how it felt and she resented that part of it was comforting when she didn't ask for it.
"It couldn't be more than one time,"Rio had told her, and she had to smile. This was what neither of them had been thinking about. Once they'd be back all this would have to be put behind them.
She was ready for that. Right? She told him that she wanted to work with him. She did. That meant this couldn't continue. The other person he'd mentioned, surely that would become something and she wasn't going to be, was never going to be second best for anyone.
Certainly she'd feel silly if he'd wake up, if he was awake and could tell her eyes were still on his face, but his expression remained blank. The worry and stress and hardness, sometimes directed at her, were gone. Beth balled her hand, itching to touch him.
Though it had been a cool evening his proximity kept her warm. Even too warm, but her stubbornness won out any discomfort. Shutting her eyes, she let herself succumb to sleep.
The sunlit room coaxed her to wake. He was gone from her bed, warmth enveloping her from her covers alone. She stilled, listening for any sign of him. Or maybe after all – no, it was hard to believe that she'd dreamed, that she was the one who'd thoughtfully left a glass filled with water by her bed. She drank the glass and smelled it in the air. The faint smell of him. She brought her shirt to her nose, the blanket. She could smell his scent on her arms. He had definitely spent the night with her. And she was barely even conscious for it.
Packing didn't take long at all. Most of her belongings had been folded neatly in her suitcase before she'd left to get drinks the night before. She was thankful for it, as movement took a little more effort than usual. Once she'd brushed her teeth and combed her hair the small items were added to her hygiene bag and she got ready to do a last survey of her room. Before that she stepped by the window and looked out, rubbing her temples. Some food and she'll be fine, but her appetite wasn't there, not without knowing something was coming. A child skipped down the dock, holding the hand of a man who for a fleeting moment reminded her of her dad. This season was too late to go out but maybe next summer. Maybe in June. Annie may not be excited to do it, but Ruby may want break. Would Dean-
Her phone beeped. She'd texted Rio earlier, just punching out: When are you leaving? Last situation she wanted to walk into was stepping into the lobby and finding that he'd already left. Something that she'd have little doubt could happen.
Rio: They have some food in the lobby. See you in ten.
Her heart skipped a beat as she read the message over, then again, trying to decipher the tone. This was just stupid, she shook her head, sliding the phone in her bag and grabbing the handle of her suitcase.
A crowd had surrounded the tables by the time she got to the lobby but several people were passing by and heading straight out. Rio was nowhere to be seen and Beth tried to decide if her feet were steady enough to stand in line and if she had the energy to wait or if she should just get something at home. The eggs smelled divine but her stomach twisted. Finding a spot by the coffee station she grabbed a coffee and returned to her spot across the line. It wasn't getting shorter.
"Trying to decide if it's worth it?"
"Good morning." Beth nodded 'yes' at Christopher who'd stepped beside her. "You too?"
"Seth was here 30 minutes ago. Got me something. I know one of the cooks if you want-"
Beth waved her hand. "That's OK. Where is he?"
"Making a call."
"Morning," Rio appeared at Beth's side, as if by magic, holding a plate of food.
"I didn't see you come in," Beth said.
Rio nudged the plate at her.
"This is for me?" She looked down, both wanting to say yes and reject the offer, unsure if she could eat.
"Yeah. Got you the pancakes you liked."
Beth smiled, recognizing them. "What about you?"
Rio didn't return her smile. "Ate already."
Beth set the coffee on a tall stand beside her and took the plate, digging into the eggs. "Thanks."
Rio nodded and turned to Christopher. "You heading out?"
"As soon as Seth gets back," Christopher motioned towards the door. His eyes traveled between Beth to Rio.
Beth ate her food as Christopher and Rio chatted, adding a comment here and there, watching the lobby clear out. It was easy to ignore what had happened the night before. With Dean she'd had the practice. Even before Dean had – but this wasn't quite the same.
Seth joined the three, apologizing for being delayed.
Rio excused himself. "Be right back, baby," He'd kissed Beth on the forehead before leaving, beating her to ask him where he was going.
"It was a pleasure meeting you both." Beth smiled. While she'd had her share of plastering pleasant expressions on her face the last few days she found this one was genuine. She had enjoyed spending time with them and wouldn't have minded seeing them again.
"Oh, it's him again, excuse me." Seth grumbled at his phone. "Really nice meeting you, Alanna. I hope we see you again," he said and hugged Beth who hesitated briefly before hugging him back.
"You two leaving on better terms than you got here," Christopher said, and though it was a friendly comment Beth could sense something else lied between his words.
"Look, I don't know what your story is," Christopher said, and Beth wasn't sure if he meant her or her and Rio. "Rio doesn't ever share, which is why we all get excited to see who he's bringing. And he usually doesn't have them give a story. Don't worry, we all have a story," he pressed his hands down as Beth opened her mouth to assuage his doubts. Like it mattered anymore. "It's not any of my business. But you two should be together."
She had a much bigger fish to fry, but she couldn't resist teasing her faux boyfriend. "He's a lot of work."
Christopher nodded, his face opening up a little. "I know. Sometimes it takes minutes and sometimes your whole life." He shook his head knowingly.
"What?" Beth set her plate aside on the table to wipe her hands.
"To decide if it's worth it."
Coming back to a familiar sight after being gone for a few days always made it seem she was seeing it with fresh eyes. The waves hit to the dock but the splashes were dulled by conversations of passengers and tourists passing by. Beth followed a few coming off the boat and stepped with Rio onto the steady ground. It may have been only one extended weekend but in that time she'd barely had a moment to slow down, to stop. She wasn't sure what was left behind on the boat behind her, in the last few days she'd been gone. That wasn't for now. One more question answered and she could call it complete.
"Thanks." Rio said, sliding his thumb under the strap of his bag as he slowed down his steps. He stopped and Beth took one step ahead and turned to face him. The movement of his hand reminded her of how he'd held her, how warm he'd felt. Now wasn't the time.
She shifted her weight between her feet before hissing softly and placing it on her right foot. Compared to the first day there was no comparison in the pain but it'd probably be best to try and stay off for long periods of time. Ruby and Annie would be able to help out if she was really in a jam. Danny was always trying to chip in more than was asked of him.
Rio's eyes had lowered to her foot when she'd hissed, a little too quickly, and she waved her hand as a way to say she was OK. The fact her foot was bothering her could be put aside. All morning she'd held her tongue, waiting for the moment to bring it up. It had to happen now.
"That was… Helpful," Rio finished, a hint of a smile followed after a pause.
It wasn't that she expected a medal. But how difficult was for him to him to say that. And how hard it was to admit that she was going to paint the expression on his face into her memory, that she craved to hear it as genuine. To hear her accomplishments be laid out loud.
"Does that mean we're good?" She asked, echoing distant conversations. "I followed your instructions, most of the time," She continued when he didn't respond, avoiding his eyes, expecting he'd be making a face. "You got the deal done."
She'd gotten him back on track and showed up when he asked her to to help finish it off. If she'd take explicit credit of that he'd likely snap back. He knew what she did for better or worse.
"Yeah." He nodded and it was as if an invisible wall had been put up around him. "Yeah, just barely."
Back to the distance he put between them. That's all right. She'd wait him out.
"Rob's gonna call you. You'll deal with him from now on."
What? Surprise washed her, before a pang of disappointed jagged its way into her chest. "Is that a demotion?" She asked, struggling keeping her voice light.
Rio coughed, something that sounded close to a laugh. "Nah, he just – he deals with other business. He's got ties on the east side. You can help him front some things. He'll catch you up."
At Beth's silence he added, "He's a good guy."
What about him?
"Ruby and Annie?" She stopped herself from crossing her arms.
He arched his eyebrows. "What about them?"
"We're a package," she said staunchly. "This doesn't work without them."
"You'd lose a job for them?"
"I came here for them too, not just me. I-"
Rio turned his palm up. She knew he knew it all already but her body was agitated, ready for a fight. He exhaled and tilted his head slowly.
"They're in. You mess up, it's on them." He grimaced. "Be honest with you, I was less worried about them anyway."
He was goading her but there was something detached about it, like with each words they were no longer standing only a foot apart on the concrete ground. Reminding herself to focus, she added, "Ruby wouldn't – she'd only want to deal with the up and up work."
"They got demands too."
Easily ignoring the annoyed tone and shake of his head, she mustered her case. "She needs the money and she's a good worker—"
"Woah, woah-" He put his hand up. "I'll talk with Rob. Things he's working on," Rio said in a cautious voice, "She's gonna have to prove herself."
"She won't disappoint him," Beth shook her head resolutely. OK, while she didn't have Ruby's consent, if the work was legitimate, she'd have something real to tempt her back with. Between that and the immediate need for funds, Ruby's mind could be swayed, she was sure of it. She didn't have more of a choice than Beth did.
"This means you get a payout. No pay for one month-"
"What am I supposed-"
"No pay for one month," Rio repeated. "After that it won't go back to the same cut. Not right away."
"How long? Before it goes back to what it was?"
"It was your idea, yeah? You want to go back to what it was, just give me a name-"
Beth shook her head. "No. It's a deal."
Of course he wouldn't commit to a date. By no means was it the deal she wanted but if that was the price she needed to pay she'd do it. Even while she hadn't meant to suggest working for free for a month – what was it that she had said? – it made sense she would've. All she'd been focused on the last few days was convincing him and what happened later she'd work out.
Likewise now she thought to herself, no matter. She'd make it work, she'd make it work, she'd juggle some things around. This was the foot in the door that she needed. Annie and Ruby were taken care of. Step by step.
Now that logistics were done an uneasy quiet stretched between them.
"So I guess I'm not gonna see you anymore." She blinked, her words catching up with the surprising sharp sour taste lining her mouth. Later she'd ask herself where she got the courage, the persistence to push like that, and she'd have no answer.
"We got annual parties. I usually go." He shrugged noncommittally.
She tilted her chin down. "Do you?" The idea would have made her laugh in different circumstances.
"Yeah."
Let me stay. Let me stay with you. Why was saying that so hard? Likely because she'd already said it. Before they'd left Detroit, sure enough, it was solely to stay in the business. Still working with him or not – she had wanted back in. Now she was greedy. She wanted both. Or maybe she had always assumed there wouldn't be another option. Even if he'd just told her she'd be working for free for one month and after that face a pay cut for who knows how long – she was in a better place than when she'd left Detroit. He didn't have to take her back – not that she'd rely on him for one second. And she had gotten him arrested though – he had put himself in the position for her to do that.
"I guess I thought," her eyes wandered to the undulating waves. "That things could go back to what they were before. It worked well this time, right?"
"Wasn't but a minute that you were looking for another boss."
Like any reasonable person would blame her for wanting to maximize her income and minimize the headache. In her annoyance she didn't register the insistence of how he searched her face, instead wondering if she should at least be grateful he didn't bring up what she had done with Karin.
"Yeah, and I thought about it and I chose you." She reminded him.
Her phone buzzed but she ignored it, fixing the strap of her bag on her shoulder. Not that she chose him as a boss permanently, not when her plan was to ultimately build and make her own name, but right now that wasn't the point. Between other options she'd stay where she was. That wasn't just something he couldn't respond to, could he?
He turned his face to the side towards two people crossing the parking lot and returned his gaze to her. "It'll be easier this way."
Simple words and a direct rejection. He was right. Of course he was right.
"I know." Not that her muscles didn't tense up and her stomach not sink any less to think about it. "I-" Her voice trailed off as she tried to find something to say and came up empty.
"I'll give him your number. You gonna be chill with him, yeah?" He said and between the words softness slipped in as he gave her a small smile, softness that she immediately dismissed.
They both were well aware, surely, that there was no chance of that. "Of course," she said.
That was it, then. Words that she didn't want to say, physical sensations that were not adding up mixed in waves in her stomach and rose in her chest, and she wasn't sure what they'd translate to, what they meant. Something else had to be said right? Something to sum up goodbye instead of watching him quietly as he did the same.
Her phone buzzed again. "Take care." She squinted against the sun.
"You too, darling."
She didn't look behind her to see in what direction he was going as she walked away, her heart tightening, a bitter pit hallowing uncomfortably in her stomach.
The familiar streets and houses rolled her back to her final destination. The diner that had hung its Grand Opening balloon for months had finally taken it down. Spurts of reds, orange and yellows decorated the trees. A few days from today and they'd spread through the trees like consuming flames. It was just about time to change summer clothes in the closets with the winter ones. Have the furnace inspected. She couldn't wait to see her kids, hear about their weekend. Sleep in her own bed, take a bath in her own bathroom. Tell Ruby and Annie that they were back in. Because true, Ruby had been made another offer, but there'd be no contest in making this one more enticing. Particularly when money needed to come in right now. Stan would have to understand. She was doing it for their daughter. For family.
It was over with Rio, whatever brief interlude it was, and that was OK. She could turn over the chapter now and much more easily than in the alternative where they still worked together. It was just that she'd need to catch up to the unfortunate and unmistakable tugging of disappointment. Still that wasn't anything less than a reasonable reaction. She couldn't have been more explicit in telling him to his face she wanted to stay with him. Her persistence surprised her but she had wanted a reaction and he'd given her nothing back, shut it down quickly. How could that not hurt? But it didn't mean that that the choice for them to part ways wasn't any less right and logical. Rio had not brought up Karin but that may have been part of his decision. She'd gotten him arrested. Her choices were too unpredictable for him. Fair perhaps, but she couldn't change who she was.
It wasn't strange that neither he nor her brought up what had happened the night before. It was goodbye. If they weren't going to speak again why did it matter? Her hands clasped in her lap. Like there was any chance she was going to bring it up anyway. The breeze from the window blew her hair back. She still felt his arms around her, the memory fresh as the autumn air she was breathing.
She hadn't expected this weekend. Certainly hadn't expected to find she shared more in common with Rio apart from the desire to make money. Family. The image of Rio at the barbecue. Trying to picture him at a party with his own family, sitting around a dinner table, this was something she'd imagined in the past few days and expected that it wouldn't stop in the days to come. Some things couldn't be helped.
The break from routine was behind her and she'd gotten what she'd set to reclaim – her old job back. Whether it was what she did before or something new what mattered was that she was still on the payroll. Would it be stakeouts? Making more deliveries? Her heartbeat picked up at the thrill of anticipation to getting her first job. It was about time. Perhaps it would be easier with someone new. It would definitely be easier. Life waited for her behind her doorstep and she was ready. Beth opened the cab door and got out, leaving behind thoughts about Rio, their final farewell, in the car to take with it as it disappeared down the street. It had been worth it. With light steps she made her way towards her home.
Oh Rio.
Almost there.