Dlbn: Hey, everyone! I know its been forever, but I'm back!

Nbld: Now that narcolepsy is under control for the most part, we have to focus on getting the money together to stop eviction…so we've been busy.

Dlbn: But no excuses. Let's get onto the fic!

Nbld: Review Corner! Thank you to Invader Johnny, and Zim'sMostLoyalServant for reviewing! Candy for you both!

Invader Johnny: He always does.

Zim'sMostLoyalServant: Any other OCs are just random people in passing, like customers and whatnot, no one to really remember. There are some canon characters appearing later on, however.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the OCs and the plot. Everything else canon belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. I make no money off writing this fanfic. If I did, I wouldn't be fighting eviction.

Dedication: Dedicated to my big sister Rev for getting a job at the warehouse where my best friend, my husband, and one of our cousins all work. She's been trying to get a job and off disability for years, and she finally nailed it. Way to go, sissy!

000

By the end of the week, it was evident that Zim wasn't as okay as he tried to make everyone believe. It was an unspoken rule in the group that you didn't call him out on it, and that he was doing it to be a foundation for them. If they saw their fearless leader crumble under the weight of his own mind and relationship issues, his human friends would start to panic. Sila knew he was just trying to save face and keep their group from sinking into the abyss, but it wasn't fooling her or any of the other Seoulians. Even Caleb and his crew of idiots seemed to be understanding that Junior was cracking and that his brave façade wasn't going to last much longer if he tried to be the strong one for everyone. Even Lahna and Ense realized that their brother's mask was beginning to crumble. If his blackout was any testament to how things were going, they were on a downward spiral. Zim was already more than halfway through with becoming who he used to be, who he left behind, all over again. Someone had to do something to get through to him. Lahna went over to Ense's house with Chase the Saturday following Zim's romp with Shira to give him some alone time with Sila. It wasn't that she didn't want to help her brother, she just didn't know how to do so. Hopefully Sila would, or she'd call in Shira for reinforcements.

They were on their fourth beer each when Sila started watching Zim instead of watching the movie he'd put in, using his GameStation 4 as a DVD player for a movie they'd liked back on Irk. While he seemed focused on the movie, once and a while he'd look at his beer and sigh before drinking more of it. His lips were pulled into what seemed like a permanent frown, and his brow was furrowed. He caught her staring after the fourth time and gave her a reassuring smile before shooting his focus to the movie on screen. She wasn't certain how she was going to bring up the topic without starting a fight. She didn't like walking on eggshells around him, but in his current mental state, it was the best way to talk to him. He really was a mess. Even back home, he wasn't like this.

"What, Sila?" He asked after the movie ended.

"You sure you're alright?"

"Peachy." He rolled his eyes.

"Don't be a prick to me, Jun, I'll put your ass in the ground so fast you won't see it coming."

"Sorry, sorry." He sighed.

"What?"

"Just thinking about shit."

"And?"

"Maybe I am still hung up on Zayena. Maybe I need someone else to find release with." He shrugged. "I've gone to Shira's almost every night. We've had sex, almost every night, we both insist its nothing and that it will never be more. We're just biding our time until either one of us finds someone. But I don't know, maybe I don't want that anymore."

"You want an actual relationship? I'm surprised."

"Like I'll ever get one. I was a playboy as a kid, I'm a playboy now, and I'll always only ever be a playboy." He sighed. "I guess I'm just meant to trounce the universe for the rest of my life alone. And that…that's starting to hurt. I don't know why."

"You're not having a midlife crisis, are you? Because I don't know how to handle that shit."

He laughed. "She insists there's something between you and me. I thought there was something between Zayena and me. I was wrong, and so was she. I should be okay with it…but I'm not."

"Okay with which part?"

"Being alone. Zayena."

"And her theory about you and I?"

"We've been friends forever. I'm not letting something stupid like sex and romance get in the way of that."

"So, you're okay with it not being reality?"

"Yeah, I am. You're my best friend. I don't know what I'd even do if we ended up together."

"Yeah, I don't know either. I'd owe some people money, though."

He laughed. "I'm sure we both would." He held up his beer in a toast. "If this is what depression feels like, I really fucking hate it."

She laughed.

000

It was the closure, he had decided. He knew Zayena had dumped him because Caleb told her to or he'd blow up her spot, but it still felt like there was something else missing. If Shira was right, Zayena slept around. Sex would be an integral part of her existence. So, what could she get from being with a teenager she couldn't sleep with? She could have led Caleb to believe she had ended it with Zim and that she had moved on, but she instead chose to just do what he said? That didn't make sense. Zayena didn't follow orders, and she certainly didn't take them from Caleb of all people. He found her alone before lunch and pulled her aside.

"What?" She asked. "I can't be seen with you or Caleb will…"

"I don't give a shit what Caleb will or won't do." He informed.

She rolled her eyes. "What else is new? Grow up; both of you."

"I need to know."

"Know what?"

"You told me you would throw me under the bus to save face."

"Yes?"

"But you dumped me. No bus."

"No bus."

"Why?"

"You're disappointed that I didn't try to ruin your life instead of dumping you? You're an idiot."

"So many people have told me." He replied. "It just doesn't feel right."

"What? I did it so Caleb would keep his mouth shut and not ruin everything."

"And if he did it anyway, then what? You'd come back?" Zim cocked an eyebrow. "Because from what you told me, that was the plan once he backed down."

"And he has yet to." She replied. "So, in the meantime, I've come to accept that being together won't happen again any time soon."

"What are you saying?"

"Any chance we had to start again is gone." She answered, slowly as if he were an idiot. "I like Samuel, I do."

"So, you've decided a future with a kid ten years younger than you is better than a future with me?"

"Are you that egotistical that you can't see? Can't believe a girl could stop falling over her feet for you?" She snorted. "I'm sorry, Junior, but I don't feel the same way for you anymore. In all honesty, I deserve a man that's going to treat me right."

"I treat you right."

"You cheated on me."

"You forgave me."

"A little." She shrugged.

"You didn't forgive me."

"No."

"Even back then, you lied to me?"

"A little." She shrugged.

Realization hit him like a MAC truck in the form of a previous conversation.

Damn, you're a good actress.

You'd do good to remember that Junior.

Is that a threat or a warning?

You tell me.

"Hanging all over me, flirting…all of it…was just…"

"An act." She sighed. "I'm glad you finally got that, Junior. I told you I was a good actress. I don't know why you didn't take that at face value, honestly."

"I guess I was just so happy to see you again that I wasn't looking for signs."

"I wouldn't have let there be any signs." She admitted. "It would have just hit you like a bag of bricks. And it has."

"I don't understand…why all the deception?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" She glared. "I was pissed when you messed around with my sister! Absolutely pissed! I tried to forgive you, Junior, I did. But part of me just couldn't do that. I had to get over you. And I thought I did. Until I saw you here. Then I realized something. Those kids hate you! Absolutely hate you, and they've got Caleb fueling the fire now. Caleb is nothing more than a scapegoat. He never cared that you and I were messing around. It wasn't his problem. This is only his fight when he's bored. For the most part, its Torque torturing you and Dib telling him what plan will work and what one won't. Saving your ass from being jumped? Don't you think that was a little too convenient?"

"I guess so…"

"Guess so? Are you permanently drunk after the Xa'ie incident?"

"Don't go there." His tone was dangerous, but she knew he wouldn't hurt a woman.

"Everything that happens to you, whether it happens in school or out of school, it's all part of a plan."

He couldn't help but wonder if they got to Shira.

"A lot Torque pulls out of his ass or off the top of his head; it's painfully obvious he doesn't plan things. But Caleb does, and he's not about to tell everyone because they're just going to mess it up. He needs Covert. And they're here, as you've learned." She informed. "And you offered Dib protection? He'll use that against you. He's not your friend anymore, Zim, even if he acts friendly once in a blue moon towards you. Anything you say to him goes from you to him to one of us. We honestly sit at the Membrane's house after Gaz leaves and laugh about the shit you fell for, or the shit we pulled. And we're going to keep pulling it, and you're going to keep falling for it."

"You're just trying to get under my skin. How am I certain this isn't part of a plan as well? To make me doubt everything, to drive me insane?"

"You're driving yourself insane by dwelling on things and not letting them go. That's the truth of it. Caleb is manipulating you into your own downfall, and you're too blind to frigging see it! Don't you get how pathetic that is?" She laughed at the look on his face like it was part of a joke he hadn't been let in on. "I don't know what you went through or what happened to you between being banished and ending up here, but you're just a shell of the man you used to be. You used to have Caleb wetting himself with a mere look and running in the other direction before even thinking of running his mouth on you. And now you're falling for plans put together by someone with barely enough intelligence to wipe his own ass and your own rival that's realized what you've become and how to extort it. You're so worried about protecting those children that you forgot to protect yourself." She snorted. "When we split, I had all the time in the world to think about things. And I realized something. I deserve better than…this…" She nodded at him to indicate himself.

"Is that why you resorted to selling yourself?" He asked. "Because you thought you could use sex to find someone better?"

She hit him. The sound was so loud he could have sworn Gir could hear it in his labs back home. Speaking of Gir, the little bot had been out for a while. The hall went quiet as if people either were in class or stopped at the sound.

"You have no fucking right." She complained. "No fucking right whatsoever."

He clicked his jaw. "I think I have every right." He snapped. "You come down here and play all innocent and act all lovey-dovey with me just because you wanted to get a little revenge? For what? Because I fucked up? Because I did something that you forgave me for, or at least lied about it? You think that helping these fucking kids ruin my life is worth a little revenge? I was a total shit as a kid. You know that, I know that, everyone fucking knows that. I just messed with your sister once, and it wasn't even worth it. You and those little brats are trying to ruin the new life I've crafted for myself. You and Covert jumped on the let's get Zim bandwagon over centuries old grudges, and I'm the pathetic one? Nade mes. Mé final que tuda se esse." He shook his head. "The fact that none of you are competent enough to do anything and needed to rely on a braindead group of teenagers with less sense than it takes to come in out of the rain to get to me is what's really fucking pathetic. At least I've grown the fuck up. You're ventí-fucking-sei, Zayena. Quit the god damn bullshit and get your head out of your ass. I won't hit a woman, but I can't say the same for my friends."

He tried to walk away, but she stopped him.

"You think this was an easy decision?" She snapped. "We're all in the same boat. We're all here because the government decided we were too much of a pain in the ass to keep around, that none of us were worth the money and resources it took to keep us alive. We're all just trying to survive here. And if that means teaming up with people not fit enough to do our laundry, then we're going to do it. Don't act like you're all innocent. Everyone here may think you are, but everyone back home knows what you really are. A drunk, womanizing, pill-popping, overgrown man child of a gangster who's trying to rebuild the life he spent ventísei anyos wrecking! It's too late to change shit now. Just accept what you are and move the fuck on. Accept that you're just some street scum who's not worth the ground he fucking walks on!"

"Not worth the ground I walk on, hm?" He took a breath to calm himself before he hit the wall and made her fake being hit for attention. "Apparently I was worth it when you were fucking me a month ago."

She slapped him. "Bring that shit up again, I dare you! My sex life is none of your business."

"When it involves me, I'd say it's my business." He replied. "I may have been nothing but street trash growing up but I've put that behind me. The past belongs behind you. But apparently you, Covert, and the rest of those fucking teenage morons you call friends don't grasp that very concept. I'm trying to rebuild my life from the ground up. You think it's easy? You think getting the shakes and going through the nicotine and alcohol withdrawals for hours on end because the military won't let you have one fucking cigarette or a god damn beer without kicking your ass to the sun and back is fucking easy? It's not! I've done a lot of work to stop being the fucker I used to be, and I'm not going to let you fucking wreck it."

"You're doing a great job of wrecking it yourself, Junior. Your friends come here, and suddenly you're reverting." She shook her head. "What would your grandmother think?"

"Do not bring my grandmother into this."

"Why not?" She asked. "You brought my sex life into this."

"Ha! Hardly comparable!" He laughed.

"You can bring up whatever you want, I can bring up whatever I want. That's the way that arguments work, Junior. Or did I forget that you're the exception to the rule?"

"Bring up whatever you want, just don't bring up my grandmother."

"I'll do what I damn well please."

"Zayena Milana Carmen, you will not bring up the only reason that I'm still fucking alive to prove a god damn point." He snarled. "My parents didn't give two shits about me, even before the gang shit. My grandmother and grandfather were all I had left, and he was long fucking gone before I picked up my first beer. There's a line you don't cross, and you fucking jumped over that line a long time ago. You don't bring up my brother, you don't bring up my sisters, you don't bring up my cousin, you don't bring up my grandmother. You can run out of things to bring up all you want, but you will not resort to bringing up the only fucking family I got left that still gives a shit."

"You brought up…"

"I don't care what he brought up, and I don't care what you are fighting about, but the entire school now knows because you two can't wait until you're off campus like adults!" Ense scolded, joining them under the staircase. "Both of you need to shut the fuck up, and move on. You don't bring up family, Zayena, everyone knows that. Rules of the street. Don't do nothing you'll regret, and don't bring up family. And you need to control your temper before you say shit you don't mean." He looked between the two of them. "I want you two to stay away from one another permanently. And thanks to you, Zayena, the entire school now knows that your group is out for blood and are the ones behind all the pranks, including Zim getting jumped. So, congratulations, the Principal now has all the evidence he needs if he doesn't think to bury that shit first like he does every other time shit comes out." He rolled his eyes. "Zayena, go to your friends and get the fuck out of my sight. Junior, you come with me and grab your shit. You and I need to have a talk."

"But…" Zayena protested.

"Did I stutter, Ms. Carmen?"

"No…"

"You can't be serious, Ense…" Zim complained.

He fixed his brother with a glare that could kill if he wanted it to. "Do not step to me, little brother, or I will put you in the ground so fucking fast your head will spin. Do you understand?"

His tone commanded respect without showing a lack of respect for his brother. Zim found it relieving.

"Compré." Zim replied.

Zayena left, dejected.

"Oh, and Zayena?"

"Yes?"

"Your little innocent act fooled everyone for a while, but no one is going to fall for it now."

She flushed and rushed off. Ense waited a second before looking at Zim again.

"I know…I fucked up, bro…"

Ense sighed and lay a hand on his brother's shoulder, patting it.

"And just like every other time you fucked up, we'll fix it. Right?"

"Ya. Always."

Lahna hugged him when the brothers came out from under the stairs to the crowd of students and faculty who had heard the shouting match.

"Zim?" Samuel asked.

"What?" Zim looked at him.

"I'm sorry…I didn't know…I…"

"It's not your fault…"

"But still…I didn't stop it, either…that kind of makes it my fault…"

"And when you got jumped, me coming across you was pure coincidence. I have no ill will towards you, man…" Dib offered.

"I know."

Especially since he kissed him on his way out.

"You can be a real dick, you know." Jessica huffed. "But…I guess she took it too far…using us for her petty revenge? Ugh, ridiculous."

"To be fair, Jess, you're doing the same thing with Dib…" Lahna pointed out. "And Caleb's doing the same thing with you guys."

The gangster didn't argue, throwing his hands up in a "I'm harmless" gesture.

"Alright, I think that's enough excitement for the day." The Principal informed, joining the circle of kids around the gangster. "Zim, I want you and Zayena both in my office. I'll speak to you first since you're here now. I can track her down later."

"She probably left campus." Samuel informed. "I'll text her."

"She won't answer you." Zim offered. "I know how she is when she gets like this. She isolates herself for a while until she's over it."

"That's what you think, but she fooled you here pretending to like you." Morla pointed out, twirling her hair around her finger. "Who knows what else she's lied to you about, what she's faked."

"He's referring to how she was when they first met." Sila informed. "But who knows what of that was an act and what wasn't."

Zim shrugged. "I don't really care at this point. It's over now; it has been for years."

"I know." Sila nodded.

"Come on." The Principal put a hand on his shoulder. "The rest of you, get to class. The show is over."

Some underclassmen gave words of sympathy to Zim as the student body went back to their routine. Dib pat him on the shoulder and offered him a small smile before pulling a scowling Dee after him. Zim followed the Principal to the office, Ense and Lahna at either of his sides. Sila stayed back with their Earth friends and the other Riot members as they watched the group depart.

"Was…was anything Zayena said right, Sila?" Keef looked up at her. "Was Zim…really like that…?"

"We all got our demons, Keef, some are just friendlier with theirs than others." Sila shrugged, her words of little relief to the redhead. "What matters the most is who he is now. He's not that guy anymore."

"Do you think he might be again?" Gretchen asked. "Sometimes when people go through something like this, a trauma like this, they change. I just…I don't want everything Zim's worked for go down the drain because Zayena can't get over herself."

"Shit, kid, this ain't trauma." Sila shook her head. "He'll be fine. Maybe mope for a few days, drink a bit, but he'll be back to himself and over her in a heartbeat." She pulled out her cellphone.

"Who are you calling?" Gaz wondered, cocking an eyebrow as the gang leader dialed.

Sila held up a finger. "An old friend." She replied. "Shira. You know where Jun lives now, right? Meet us at four."

"Shira's here?" Gabe asked.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Corbin added.

"Just found out a few days ago. She bought cigs at Zim's job. Recognized his name off his name tag."

"Who's Shira?" Todd muttered.

"The last of our gang we were waiting on. She's been here about a year, so it looks like she's been waiting on everyone that isn't Jun."

"Why do you call him that?" Keef asked. "It's short for Junior, right…?"

"I'm the only one that does. Kind of our thing."

"Like he calls you that nickname. What was it again…?" Gretchen tapped her shin in thought.

"Sils!" Screamy shouted.

"Dude, I will never get used to that." Corbin complained, rattling his finger in his ear.

"Believe it or not, you will." Iggins informed, mashing away at his game system buttons and cursing under his breath about a zombie pig.

"Right…that…" Gretchen sighed. "I really hope he's going to be okay."

"He's Zim. He always is." Chase informed, appearing with his arms wrapped around his middle. "Even when he's not."

"He puts on an act so we don't worry." Sila admitted, shoving her hand and phone into her jeans pocket and leaving both there.

"But it only makes you worry more because you can see right through him." Todd informed. "It must be nice…being so close to someone like that…that you know everything about them on instinct…why aren't you with him, Sila?"

"Dating? I've already said it before. I won't disrespect myself by being another notch in his belt."

"Honestly, Sila, I doubt that's all you'd be." Gretchen smiled softly. "I've seen how he looks at you, you know, when he thinks no one is looking."

"She's right." Melvin nodded. "Dib and Dee used to make those same googly eyes at one another."

"Please don't compare Junior to that."

"He got jumped and Dib helped him…I always had a feeling there was a bit of good in him still." Keef informed. "Even if he is no better than them now."

"From what I've heard from Dib's own admission to Zim and the little things I've overheard, he's not really involved with anything. They think he'll run back to one of you, or Zim himself, and let something slip. They don't trust him enough. Besides, as Zayena and Dib both said, almost everything Torque does in on a whim." Chase informed. "None of them have the ability to plan anything out, save for Covert and possibly Dib. And Zayena. This had to have been planned from the start. Luring him in, sleeping with him to gain his trust, and then shatter his heart? That's not something you do on a whim. No one wakes up and suddenly thinks 'hey, I think I'll destroy someone's heart today'."

"I wonder what happens when someone's heart is destroyed." Iggins commented. "I don't think you can destroy a heart, just break one."

"Pft." Gaz scoffed. "Whatever is wrong with him, I hope he snaps his ass out of it, because I don't want to have to do it for him later down the road."

Sila laughed. "If we were back home, I swear to god we would've recruited you."

"Technically, we're part of your gang already." Keef giggled. "I mean we merged our group with you guys when you all started to show up."

"That's not something to be proud of, Keef." Daila informed. "You don't want to be like us."

"I wouldn't wish this on anyone." Aila added. "We got to where we are now because life kicked our asses. I don't want to see the same happen to you guys."

"Aw, you're so sweet." Keef swooned. "Group hug!"

"No way!" Gaz and Sila complained.

"Hug!" Keef insisted as they all latched onto one another.

Chase doubled over laughing.

"God damn it Chase, don't just stand there laughing like an asshole. Get us out of this!" Sila complained.

"This is too funny."

"You're dead, Sangre. Frigging dead."

He stuck his tongue out and made a noise and rushed off to his classroom before Sila could break free of the group hug and go smash his face in.