I'm baaaack! Okay, this is of of my favorite chapters I've done yet. Even though it's a little rough... You'll see.

Xahraxs: I had something like that in mind lol Thanks for your review! And it means so much that you care so much.

Nekura Ookami: Happy late Birthday! Wait until you see this chapter...roller coaster of emotions.

Guest: Thanks for the review!

Guest 2: You're so sweet! ^.^ thank you so much for the compliment and the review, it means so much.

WARNING: This chapter does get very serious. A certain topic is brought up and I just want to prepare anybody before you guys read.

Alright, enjoy!

Song for this chapter -Ends of the Earth ~ Lord Huron

The Talk

~Raph's POV~

There she was, standing at that foot of my bed just watching me with these eyes that...I've never seen before. Almost like I was her prey. It wasn't normal for her to look at me like that, it wasn't even normal for her to be half naked in front of me, in my room...just the two of us. Was this actually happening? Was she actually in my room looking the way she does, ready to do...whatever she wanted? Wait...when did she get here?

"Lil?" I called out, pushing myself up from my bed to be able to sit upright.

Lilly didn't speak, she just placed her hands on the edge of the bed and crawled her way to me. I felt the softness of her thighs touch my skin when she straddled me, causing my whole body to feel like I was on fire. She grabbed my hands and placed them on her hips, then her arms traveled up and around my neck. She leaned in and began to kiss my neck, for some reason, her doing this ignited something in me, something I've never felt before. Almost like something primal... I had to swallow it, I had to force it down.

When I felt her teeth graze my pulse, my hands tightened their grip around her hips. I felt her tongue lick from where she playfully bit my neck all the way to my cheek. When she spoke, her voice was almost like she was possessed, it was husky, seductive...it caused my skin to tingle. "Come out, come out wherever you are."

My eyes suddenly shoot open, I looked around at my empty dark room, searching for something to tell me that it wasn't just a dream, she was right here waiting for me to... I sighed, nope. It was a dream. I groaned, placing my hands over my sweaty face.

Another dream about her...this is the, what? Fourth one this week? I'm really getting sick and tired of washing these bed sheets.

I sat up, my heart pounded in my chest right along with my head. "Fuck." I whispered to myself.

Ever since she left, ever since she told me what she told she wanted to have sex, that's all I'm thinking about now. And I'm not even ready to be with her like that. I have to get over my own insecurities before we do anything. So if I'm not ready, why do I keep thinking this, seeing this, dreaming about this? It's all day every day. All night even! I can't get that image of her out of my head...

Every night is different. One night we're starting to have sex, another night we're actually having sex, and so on and so on... And it feels so real I just...

I know she said to wait but I have to talk to her about this. Today. I'll force myself if I have to. But I have to get this thing out of my head. I hope talking will help.

She was folding laundry when I entered through her window. She turned around and smiled when she heard me clear my throat, "Hey," she exclaimed happily.

"Hey babe," I said.

She placed her hand on my shoulder and gave my cheek a kiss, "I haven't seen you in what...three days?"

"Five actually..." I admitted softly. "Sorry, I've been a little busy with..." The Krang...

"Stuff?" She asked. I nodded. "That's okay, I've been studying everyday. My mom has been working overtime so all I do is study."

"Why haven't you been coming after school?" I asked out of curiosity.

She shrugged, "I don't know. Why do you want me to come see you everyday?" I could tell by her tone that she was teasing.

"Just asking... Thought you might have been mad or something."

She shook her head, "No, just busy." She walked over to her dresser and began to put away her folded clothes.

I sat at the edge of her bed and stared at her. She was in tight gray sweatpants, with a black tang top and a messy bun that had all her baby hairs sticking out. It looked like she was dressed for a lazy-staying-in-type day. "Did you go to school like that?"

She looked down at her outfit and frowned, "Yeah why? Too ugly?"

"No," I rolled my eyes. "It just looks like you didn't go to school."

"No I did. Just didn't feel like dressing up." She said with a shrug, walking back to her bed to pick up more clothes.

I reached over to grab her hand before she picked up any more clothes, "Can we talk?"

She froze for a second, blinking at my serious tone. "What'd I do?"

"No nothing, it's not bad. I just want it out of the way." I said with a small smile. "But it's important."

"What's up?" She said with worried eyes, pushing everything out of the way so she could sit comfortably next to me.

"Last week..."

I saw it suddenly clicked in her mind what I was about to say. "Oh, are you going to start pushing me?"

"What?"

She sighed, "Usually when I mention sex, guys tend to start pushing and pressuring me because they want to have sex." She scratched her head.

"Oh no... No, no. I don't want to. I'm..." I sighed, swallowing all the pride I had in me in order to admit what I was about to say. "I'm not ready."

"That's okay," she snickered, giving me a light playful shove. "That's kind of cute too."

"Really?" I said with a smile before shaking my head to get back on track. "Anyways, I just... I want to have this talk now because I can't..." I felt my face begin to grow warm. "I can't...stop thinking about it."

She nodded, "Okay..."

She seemed so nonchalant about it that it caused me to feel a little more relaxed. "And it's gotten to the point where..." I sighed. "I'm washing my bed sheets every night." Her eyes went wide for a moment before she broke into a fit of giggles which turned into full on laughter. I don't know if she found it weird, I don't know if she was faking, all I knew is that the more she laughed the more annoyed I got. It was almost like she was making fun of me. "Can you be mature for a second?" I growled.

"Oh me? I need to be mature." She wiped the tears from her eyes and finally calmed down. "I'm laughing because that's the funniest thing anyone has ever said to me. Not because I'm making fun of you." Her hand grabbed a hold of mine. "No one has ever told me that they've had wet dreams about me. Don't worry, it's normal for that to happen." She kissed my cheek. "I'm flattered that you dream about me."

I grunted, "You done?"

She nodded, "I'm done. So what exactly did you want to talk about?" Giving me a soft tap on my hands, she smiled warmly. "You can ask me anything?"

I shrugged, "I don't know," I know we both have the same basic knowledge about sex, but i know close to nothing abut her body. "What does it look like?"

"Really? That's the question you're asking?" She chuckled. "What does what look like? A vagina?"

I shrugged.

"It looks like..." she thought for a moment. She shouldn't think too hard, I mean she has one. "It depends who's you're looking at because all are different but all are beautiful."

"Well, I'm only going to be looking at yours."

"Then I'll save the details and surprise you when we actually do stuff."

"What if we can't do stuff?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if...what if I'm too big?"

"How big are you?"

I shrugged, "I mean I've never measured it but I'm pretty big." I couldn't help the swell of pride come over me when I saw her eyes widened for a moment. "I'm most likely the biggest you've ever seen."

Her smiled faded, "Yeah..."

I was confused for a second, her attitude changed completely, just like last time. What do I keep saying that's making her do that? "Okay, what is it?"

"Huh?" She said.

"Last time I asked you a question and your reaction was the exact same thing. It's like you close up on me. What do I keep doing wrong?" My voice came off a little harsh but I can't help that I'm frustrated. She won't tell me what's wrong. What? Am I supposed to automatically know? I'm her boyfriend not a mind reader.

She sighed, "Raph, I..." she shook her head. "I don't want to ruin the mood by getting emotional."

"What mood? Just tell me, Lil'." I urged. "What's up?"

"I just..." She stopped, I could see she was trying to compose herself. "I don't know what it is but, and this is going to sound really bad but... Being completely honest with you is really fucking hard."

I felt my heart constrict in my chest, "Yeah, that does sound bad."

"I'm not trying to make you worry, I just..." she rolled her eyes. "Here come the waterworks..." I let her take all the time she needed to let her regain her composure. I could see the tears begin to form in her eyes, but she never let them fall. How did this conversation turn so quickly? What did I do? What did I say? I kept replaying the whole conversation but I kept coming up with the same thing- I didn't do anything! So what is the reason for her to start crying now? "Okay," she finally said. "I'm going to tell you something, but please don't think I'm trying to be cheesy, or cliché or..."

"Shut up and tell me," I ordered calmly.

"Okay..." she took a deep breath. "I don't tell you everything, and I'm not honest with you because I actually care about what you think of me."

I narrowed my eyes in confusion, "What do you mean? I think you're...a really strong person. I think you're smart and pretty, caring and kind sometimes. Not to mention you got body for days." I smiled when she chuckled. "You're beautiful Lilly..."

She sighed before staring into my eyes with so much warmth, "That's the first time you've ever called me beautiful..."

"Really?" Damn, I suck as a boyfriend. "But anyways, what does my opinion of you have anything to do with sex?"

She took a deep breath, her finger wiped underneath her eyes when they filled with tear again. She looked at me, almost with shame. "Raph... I'm..." she smiled sadly. "I'm used."

"You mean, you've already had sex..." Well great! Now I have competition. Now I have to worry about sucking. If she's already done stuff, what if she leaves me because- wait a second.

"I have."

"And why would that make my opinion of you change?" I shifted in my seat, suddenly annoyed. "And why do you think you're used? If you fell in love then you fell in love, I don't think you're used."

"That's the thing. I was so young, I didn't know what love was. I was pressured into doing something I thought you were supposed to do when you were in a relationship." She shook her head and looked away form me. "If I would've known I was going to meet someone like you in the future..."

"Well you can't change the past... I don't think less of you. It really makes me wanna put sex for a awhile though. Doesn't make me change how I feel about you." I rest my hand on her thigh, hoping that maybe if I touched her she'd feel better.

I felt her sink into herself, like she didn't even want me to touch her or like she didn't even want me to be there. I saw the light in her eyes flicker as if it was going away, she fought the tears but sooner or later they were going to fall. I didn't know why she kept crying, maybe it was a bad break up, I don't know... But one things for sure, I like her still the same, if not even more because she actually trusted me enough to admit this to me. I know her now better than before and I'm thankful. When I removed my hand, she looked at me and that's when a tear fell prompting her to quickly wipe it away.

"Raph..." she whispered brokenly.

I just stared at her, let her speak, staying silent.

"I..." her lips began to tremble. "I'm really broken."

I smiled halfheartedly, shaking my head. "Lilly,"

"I am." She latched herself onto my hand and brought in up to her mouth before she dropped down from the bed to her knees. She rested her head on my knees, leaving me more confused then ever. Something wasn't right... Why was she acting like this? This other guy that she slept with, was it Dylan or whatever his name was? I know she told me she didn't sleep with him but was it just a lie because she was afraid of what I thought of her. "I have to tell you..."

"No you don't... Lilly, if you can't even sit on the bed and tell me then-"

"No, I have to. I'm going to." She looked up at me. "I lost my virginity at 12 to a guy that was 19." Almost immediately, I felt a fire lit from underneath me that made my blood begin to simmer. "I look back now and think how much of manipulator he was and why I couldn't see it then but I guess I was just blind." Her stare suddenly went blank, causing my skin to feel like a bunch of needles were stabbing at every inch. "I ran away from home for a week because of John, I lived with him, the guy I mean. And one night he was drunk and..." she took another deep breath before laying her head on my lap. "We fought and it turned physical. Then it turned...horrible." I could feel her tears fall onto my skin, and I could feel a lump form in my throat as she continued. "He knocked me out but...I could still feel what he did. I still have nightmares of that night and now I feel horrible because...I wish you didn't have to be stuck with me."

All the anger I had inside me, the rage I wanted to let out, the boiling bubbles in my stomach all subsided when I heard her say what she said. Stuck? My mind flashed back to when she first told me to stick around because she had some dark parts of her she was going to share. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. "Lillian..." I grabbed her arm and pulled her up and into my lap. "Come here..." she straddled my lap comfortably, wrapping her arms around my neck and buried her face into my skin. I didn't want to say anything, she wasn't making any noise and if I were to say something, it would ruin everything.

I'm glad she told me, I felt so much closer to her now and that made me happier than ever. But I still couldn't help but feel the need to cause someone so much pain to compensate for Lilly's pain. No one deserves this- she didn't deserve this. I wanted to find him and make him pay with his life but I knew that was almost impossible.

When Lilly pulled away from the hug, she rested her forehead against mine and I just watched her. Her eyes were shut but I know that was to stop even more tears from flowing. "Hey," I said softly. "Whenever you're ready, that's when I'll be ready."

She opened her eyes and nodded, "Thank you for understanding."

"It's called being a boyfriend. That's my job. I just have one question..." She nodded slowly. "Did Dylan know about this?"

"David." She corrected.

"Daniel."

She snickered before shaking her head, "No, I mean... He knew I had sex but he didn't know with who or how it ended or...anything else. I didn't really care about him like I do with you..."

I felt my stomach bubble with delight, "I was going to say... If he knew about this and still pressured you to do shit, I'll kick his ass whether you like it or not."

She rolled her eyes, "Ay Dios mío... You know, that macho attitude is going to get you shot one day."

"Who's going to shoot me? Him? Yeah right, I bet he can't even pick a gun let alone shoot one." In all honesty, I wanted to beat the shit out of anyone. Anyone who deserves it that is... I have all this pent up anger, anger that I knew if Lillian found out I had she would be pissed but I had to let it out some way. And I only knew one way. "You know, that will never happen again. Never."

She smiled, "I'd like to think you're right but you're not. It's not something I like to think about but...the world is ugly. The only thing predictable about it is its unpredictability."

"No Lilly. It will never happen to you. As long as I'm breathing, you're safe." I assured her, my voice had and underlining growl to it that made her sort of jump in my lap. Almost as if she finally got a sense on how serious I was.

She nodded ever so slowly before her hand touched my chin, bringing my face close to hers. I didn't want to kiss her at first, she was just telling me about this horrible experience, I didn't want to do anything but let her cry... But when her lips touched mine and when I felt that electric shock I always felt whenever she'd touch me, I couldn't help but sink into the kiss. Both her hands cupped my cheeks and pulled me in to deepen the kiss. I gently cupped her butt, but only to pull in closer towards me. I felt her gasp into my mouth and I immediately lifted my hands away from her body.

She pulled away from the kiss shortly after, licking her lips, her eyes half open. "Want to know something?" She said softly. I smiled lazily. "You're a really good kisser."

"You've told me before."

"Mmm..." she hummed. "Can I have another?"

"Let me think about it."

She giggled, grabbing a hold of the ribbons of my bandanna and tugging it closer to her so I could kiss her one more time.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked, pulling on the sleeves of her giant sweater she had put on.

I nodded, finally finishing the knot on my equipment belt. "Only if you come over. Can't keep coming here just to spend...three hours making out. As much as I want to..." It was already dark out when Leo decided to text me, asking where I was. I had to pull away from Lilly for just a second to text him back that I was fine. 'Just patrolling.'

Lilly touched her swollen lips with her fingertips, "Okay well, I'll text you." She gave me a tight hug before giving my cheek a kiss. "You better text me back."

"I will." I gave her one last kiss goodbye. When I pulled away she pulled me back in for a deeper, more searing kiss. Don't know why, and I'm not objecting to it, but she's been very...passionate lately. When she kisses she does it hard. But hey, I don't mind. When she pulled away, I had to remind myself to breathe; she sucked all the breath out of my body.

Her thumb caressed my cheek, I opened my eyes slowly just to stare at her with this stupid smile on my face. "Bye..." she said huskily.

It was like heroin. I wanted more and more and more but I had to stop. I needed to leave. "Fuck..." I groaned before hoping out of the window. I hate hiding this fucking relationship, but like Lilly said, we have to do what we have to do. Just for now. "I'll see you tomorrow, babe."

Giving a small wave, she closed the window behind me. I was left shaking my head, my heart pounding with happiness...god, I'm in too deep and it's only the fourth month. Five months in about two weeks. I jumped up to the roof and sighed, the city seemed brighter, the stars seemed more...prominent. I couldn't help but smile up at them. Wonder what is it? Maybe it's not so cloudy, maybe there no fog, I don't know...

"Well, well, well... I thought I'd find you here."

I quickly turned, grabbing and pulling out my sai. "Oh..." I grunted when I saw Casey leaning on his hockey stick. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I went to the lair and they said you went patrolling so I went looking. Figured out where you were pretty fast." He nodded his head in my direction. "Nice hickey."

My eye widened, I clasped both of my hands around my neck, "What?" Damnit Lillian...

"Nah, I'm just joking. I wouldn't know what a hickey on a turtle looks like."

I rolled my eyes, finally relaxing. I felt a growl emit from deep within my chest, I clenched my fists in hopes that maybe it'll calm the rage that was boiling up inside me. I had no control over my feet when I simply just took off in order to find some type of trouble. I shouldn't be this angry, nothing has happened to me, it all happened to her, but I couldn't help but feel sick and tired of this fucking world.

It's ways to cause pain to those who don't deserve it in the least. Those like her ex and John who are one of the worst people in the world, they get to walk free, while Lilly suffers in silence. Not to mention my entire family cursed being the way we were and I can't... I can't do shit with Lilly because of it.

It's pointless, but I'm going to get a little revenge.

~Lilly's POV~

"I feel stupid now..." I sighed, biting nail nervously. "Like I can't stop...thinking about him."

"And that's a bad thing because...?" April asked on the other line.

After Raph left, I had to call April and just talk. That's all I wanted to do, just have someone listen to me ramble about whatever came to my mind. "It's not a bad thing. It's just..." I turned to lay on my stomach. "This has only happened to me once. And I hate that it's happening again..."

"Why do you hate it?"

"Because last time I got so attached, April. You wouldn't believe. I mean it was-"

"Lilly, Raph is not like the other guy. He would never, ever-"

"I'm not saying that he would do that to me. I'm not saying he'd take advantage of me, or hit me or..." I sat up from my bed. "It's just..." For what felt like the fifth time that day, I felt tears well up in my eyes. "What if he leaves?"

April laughed, "You act like you don't know Raph. He's not going anywhere unless you tell him to. And when you tell him too, he's still going to be in love with you."

"He's not- there is no love in this relationship. Okay? I don't love him and he doesn't love me." I snapped.

"How do you know?"

"Because I know. I mean, we haven't been in a relationship long enough to love each other. Yeah, okay, I like him. Sure, I think about him most of the times. That's just..." I shrugged. There's no way in hell that I'm in love with him. No. Absolutely not. Nope! Nah. Uh-uh.

"Lillian," April said calmly, I knew she was going to give me some cheesy speech. "Listen, if you're not ready to love, that's okay. That's absolutely fine. Today, you opened yourself up to him in one of the hardest ways ever. I'm not going to tell you to tell him you love him, and I'm not going to say he loves you. I don't know that. was only teasing. But, if you're starting to love him, yeah it's going to be scary especially if you have that idea that he's going to leave eventually in your head, it's going to be terrifying. But don't let that stop you from actually falling. When you fall, you'll know. Don't try to prevent it."

I placed a frustrated hand on my head when it began to pound, "You think he thinks I'm...tainted or something? Like I'm a used shoe or something?"

"Lilly, stop. You are not used or tainted. I know for a fact Raph's feelings have not changed. He maybe cautious, or nervous around you now, but it's not because his feelings changed. It's to make you comfortable." April explained.

I felt used. I couldn't help it. I never talk about this man. I don't bring him up, ever... Raph was the first person I told and he didn't pity me he just comforted me while I cried. But telling him what happened to me cause such a heavy weight to just disappear from my shoulders. It was like I could finally breathe again. "We were kissing and he touched my butt, and normally I don't care but this time I gasped and he could sense that I was being weird... I didn't tell him to move, he did it all by himself. And I don't know why it shocked me."

April chuckled, "How come all the stories you tell me about you two, almost all of them involve you two making out? Don't you have homework or something?"

I laughed, "That's all we do! We talk or make out. Sometimes at the same time, which is harder than it sounds."

April sighed, "I don't want to imagine. But thanks for the image anyways."

I laid back in my bed, sighing in almost exhaustion. "How'd this happen?" I whispered to myself, not knowing that I said it out loud.

"What?" April asked

I felt myself suck in my breath, should I say what I was about to say? "How did..." God, this is going to make me sound like the biggest bitch in the universe. "How did I end up liking a mutant more than I like some humans?"

April was silent for a moment, I almost thought she took it the wrong way. I know she likes the guys way more than she does me. One reason probably because she's known them longer than she's known me. Finally April sighed, "Can I tell you something?"

"Please..." I chuckled nervously, practically dying from waiting for her response.

"How did you end up liking a mutant more than...David?" She asked. "Okay, maybe not David. He's an asshole, but humans in general."

I blinked, as if I was asked a completely new question. My mind went back to when I first had this conversation with Raph. Both of us were sort of freaked out that we liked each other, we're different fucking species, it is weird. It isn't normal. This is a very odd thing... "When I first kissed Raph, I didn't like him. Then after the kiss, I didn't like him right away. I was trying to process what liking him meant. I've never liked a mutant. I didn't even know they existed. When we told each other how we felt...it was like it didn't matter anymore. I don't know why, but I stopped caring about what he is... I just don't know why..."

"'Cause you love him..." she teased.

I felt my cheeks warm, "No."

April sucked her teeth, "What is it with you and that word?"

"I don't..." I shrugged. "I don't know if I believe in love."

"Is it because of your mom?"

"I think so. Psychologically? Probably... I don't think Raph will fall for me. Men freak out when it comes to commitment."

"Don't compare Raph to all men. Out of all of the guys, you got stuck with the most loyal, honest, toughest out of the bunch." I could hear the smile in her voice. "You and him are going to be together for a long while."

I didn't know if I believed her, I didn't know if I would fall for Raph, but I found myself wanting to find out if I can. "Thanks for talking to me April. I'm sorry I just called you out of the blue."

"Are you kidding?" She scoffed. "I was dying of boredom before you called. Call me anytime."

"Thanks... I'll text you later. I just remembered I have to do something before my mom comes." I said, my fingers began to trace patterns on my leg of my sweatpants.

"Okay, text me later. I hope you feel better."

"I do thanks to you."

"Ok good. Talk to you later."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

I hung up on her, my heart pounding as my mind flashed at the hot and heavy moments I had with Raph today. I bit my lip and shut my eyes so I could feel his hands gently touch my back, my neck and his lips against mine. I sighed in frustration, opening my eyes when I just realized imagining Raph being there isn't the same as him actually being there.

When I was with David, being physical was secondary, it wasn't as interesting to me. But with Raph, if he touches me a certain way, I feel this painful tension growing in the lower parts of my belly. It's almost like I can't help but physically want him... It's not just sex. Sometimes it's just a kiss that I need. Sometimes a hug, a gentle graze across the cheek with his thumb, a butt squeeze. Anything! Like today, even after I ruined the mood with my fucked up background, I felt like I needed him to just kiss me. Maybe it's because I needed someone to comfort me...

That was one hell of a way to comfort me. I enjoyed every second.

I pressed my thighs together when the tension began to grow again. I hissed in pain. This is Raph's fault... Don't know why, but I know it's his.

I grabbed my phone, and texted him. 'You home?'

In the meantime, while he was typing back, or at least he better be, I decided to change my outfit into something less...constricted than a sweater. In fact, how about just a bra and a tang-top. That seemed just fine... I grinned evilly, I knew what I was going to do.

~Raph's POV~

My fist came down harder than before on this purple dragons face for the fifth or sixth time, finally knocking him unconscious. Violently throwing him to the ground, I let go of his black bloody shirt, shaking my fist once I felt the raw pain that coursed throughout my fingers and wrist. "Dickhead," I cursed breathlessly.

Casey's eyes finally shrunk down to normal size, "Dude... What the hell is the matter with you today?"

I looked up at him, my chest heaving up and down in an attempt to get catch my breath. "What?"

"There were five guys. I didn't get one hit in. Did you and Lilly have a fight or something?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

I shook my head, "Nope."

"You seem...more pissed than usual." He stated, staring at me with suspicion.

I went over to the brick wall, resting my back against it and sliding down to the ground in exhaustion. "It's nothing..." How was I going to tell Casey Lilly told me she got raped by her previous boyfriend? I'm the only person she told, I'm not going to betray her trust.

After a moment of silence, I assumed Casey was trying to think of what to say, he finally asked, "Want to talk about it?"

I shook my head, then covered it with my hands. How was I also going to say that I hated this world, I hated myself, I hated everything but Lilly? Something's I don't even tell Lilly...

"You shouldn't let things eat at you like that. It's not healthy." He shrugged. "No offense, but these guys...all they were doing was standing here."

"They're Purple Dragons. I don't care if they were eating ice cream, they're still scum." I spat, glaring at him in anger. How is he going to defend anything these guys do?

"I'm just saying," he grabbed his hockey sick and poked at the last thug I beat. "You think he's alive?" Just then, the thug let out a low, soft groan. "Oh no, he's alive. Barely..."

"He can rot." I growled.

Casey blinked, "Yo, what the fuck is wrong with you? I get that you're a natural dick, but if you fought with your little girlfriend, why do you have to take it out on me?" He huffed.

I sighed, "I'm not taking it out on you I just..." I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it! Talk to Casey? My best friend in the whole world? No.

He came over once he saw how upset I was, slid down and sat right next to me. "Fine. Don't talk to me. We'll just...chill I guess." He said.

That was more than fine for me. I didn't need to talk to anyone right now. What advice was Casey going to give me about this anyways? He's a human. He doesn't understand what I'm feeling. He can't even begin to understand how I'm feeling. Right now I'm not willing to try and find out. I just want to catch my breath.

Beating the crap out of those guys did relieve some of the stress and frustration I was feeling. Not a lot, not enough, but some. I still felt an incredible amount of anger, but I could control it. I had to just... I had to think before I did anything. Which is not like me. I don't think before I fight I just fight, then think. But Lilly has me doing everything in reverse. I sighed, leaning my head against the wall and looking up at the sky. "Case..."

Casey looked at me, waiting patiently.

"I think I love her." I said sadly. He never answered, he just nodded and stayed silent.

Just then my phone began to vibrate, it was a message from Lilly asking if I was home. I cursed, did I tell her I was going to text her when I got home? No I don't think so. I thought before I typed 'Yeah I am.'

"Is that her?" I nodded. "Are you going to tell her?"

"No. It'll only freak her out. It's too early anyways." I mumbled.

"You guys have known each other for a year and a half, right?" He shrugged. "That's enough."

"We only started liking each other four months ago. I'm not telling her." I growled.

"Yeah but you shouldn't keep that a secret."

"She's not going to say it back."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know! She...has shit to get over before she loves me."

Casey laughed, "And you don't?"

"It not..." I sighed heavily. "It's not the same."

"Why? Because it's like an ex or something?"

I said nothing, I'm not about to put my girlfriend's business out there for the whole world to see- or for Casey to see.

"Is it that David guy?" Casey asked.

"It's none of your business."

"So it is."

"No, it's none of your business." My phone vibrated again. Lilly texted back 'Good.'

Casey gave me a nudge, "So she has to get over an ex. If you tell her you love her, maybe it'll speed up the process or something." God, this guy...

"It's not that easy, Casey. Have you ever been in love?" I snapped angrily. "You couldn't possibly know what the hell I'm going through in my mind. You don't know. You can't even try to know."

"Raph, it's not that serious."

"To you! You don't have to go through it. She did."

"Go through what?"

I stopped myself, realizing I said to much.

"Okay, you can't get mad at me for not knowing what you're going through if you don't tell me. And if you don't want to tell me, fine. I'll drop it." He said, holding his hands up in surrender.

My phone buzzed again, soon after that it buzzed a second time. I looked and Lillian asked 'Tell me what's missing in this picture ;)' the picture she sent me made my eyes widened. I felt all the blood rush from my head to my lower half of my body. The picture was of Lillian, she was sitting on her bed tugging down on this blue tang-top she had on, whatever bra she was wearing was pushing her boobs together and the way she was sitting made them look unreal. I couldn't see her face, just the brightness of her red lipstick. "Holy shit..." I breathed.

"Wow." Casey suddenly said.

I clicked my phone off and punch him in the arm, "The fuck you looking at?" I growled.

"Ow..." he groaned, grabbing a hold of his arm.

I stood up, "Let's go."

"Oh yeah I know why you want to go home. Want a little privacy with you and that picture?" Casey teased as he stood.

"Shut up." I climbed up the fire escape as fast as I could so that I could get to the roof to text Lilly back in private. What do I say first? Um... I quickly texted back 'Holy shit.'

Lilly quickly texted back, 'What's missing?'

'Me?' I messaged.

'That's one answer :)'

I couldn't stop staring at that picture even if I tried. Man, if I could I'd get that tattooed on my arm. Fuck my girlfriend was amazing. 'I have no clue'

'You probably can't see it because I'm not wearing any ;P'

I scoffed out a puff of air in disbelief that this woman actually chose to send me this picture, actually chose to kiss me, actually chose to be with me. I quickly texted back, 'You're fucking killing me babe'

"Hey Romeo," Casey spat finally being able to make it up the roof. "Please wait until we get to your place so you can send your girl a dick pick."

I gagged, "I've never done that. Never plan on doing that. So don't even." I laughed, suddenly feeling much better than I did before.

Alright guys let me know what you think. See you in the next chapter!