Timeline: Post-Season 7

Completed: June 24, 2020

Hailey could tell that something was bothering her partner. He was being quieter than normal and more focused on the case than he usually was, not that he didn't normally focus during their cases, but there was something different about this one. She knows that cases involving kids always affect him differently than the rest of the team, but this is not his usual behavior that appears when they have a case involving kids.

"Hey, is everything okay?" she asks him softly when she gets him alone in the break room.

"Fine," he answers, not looking at her.

"Jay," she challenged.

"I'm fine," he repeats.

"Okay," she gives up. "But you know you can talk to me, right?" Hailey reminds him.

"I know."

Before either of them can say anything else, Adam rushes into the breakroom, "Guys, we got something. Voight wants us rolling yesterday."

Knowing that she can't talk to Jay right now, Hailey sighs before following Adam out of the breakroom with Jay behind her.

Getting into the passenger side of Jay's truck, Hailey keeps glancing over to her partner– unable to keep the worry at bay.

"Drop it, Hailey," Jay tells her when he notices. "Please," he adds.

"Fine. For now."

They arrive at their location before either can utter another word.

Assembling into the positions that Voight assigned them to, the unit waits for Voight's signal to breach the house. Hailey and Jay are at the front, Kim and Adam are covering the back incase their suspect tries to make a run for it, and Kevin and Vanessa are waiting at his garage to make sure he can't get away that way.

Hearing their signal, Hailey and Jay breach the door. The door hits the wall and alerts the suspect of their presence, "Chicago PD!" The two detectives announce as they enter.

Hailey and Jay hear a commotion coming from the room off to the left. They look to each other having a silent conversation before entering the room, Hailey first then Jay.

Before the suspect has a chance to try anything, Hailey has him on the ground with Jay pointing his gun at him while she cuffs him.

"Daniel Neuman, you are under arrest for sexual abuse of a minor," Hailey tells him as she hauls him up.

"Neuman is in custody," Jay tells the others through his radio.

Hearing this, the rest of the team comes into the house to help clear the rest of it.

"Look at this," Adam calls to Kim who was helping him with the room he was in.

"What is it?" she asks while walking over to him.

Without saying anything Adam passes her a shoebox filled with hundreds of pictures of children. In all of them, the children are scared and naked.

"How can anyone do this?" she asks herself.

"Because they're fucked up. We can add child porn to his charges."

The two continue to search the room that they are in while the rest of the team searches the other rooms.

Back at the district, Neuman is in an integration room while the intelligence unit is in the bullpen trying to gather all the information together that they have before interrogating him.

"He had thousands of pictures of child porn on a file in his computer," Kevin tells the unit as he was put in charge of searching the computers.

"That and the hundreds of pictures printed and hidden in shoe boxes," Kim adds.

"So, child porn, and sexual abuse of a child," Hailey states. "Do we have anything else on him?"

"Trafficking?" Vanessa asks.

"No evidence," Adam tells her.

After discussing a few more things, Voight announces that they are ready to "talk" to Neuman.

"Let me," Jay demands as he gets up out of his chair.

Voight and Hailey look at each other. "No, Halstead. You're too close," Voight tells him. "Adam and Kim take lead."

"What are you talking about? I'm not too close to this," Jay argues.

"Don't argue with me or I'll make you ride the desk for the rest of the case," Voight threatens his detective before giving Hailey the control your partner look.

Hailey gives a slight nod, "Jay, come on. Let's get some real coffee, I think this is going to be a long day," Hailey tugs Jay along, not giving him a chance to decline.

"I know what you're doing," Jay tells her from the passenger side of her jeep.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Hailey answers as she pulls up to a Starbucks.

"You're going to try to get me to talk," he answers. "I don't want to."

"It's okay. You don't have to," Hailey reassures him. "I just wanted to get you away for a bit, let you cool off."

"I don't need to cool off; I need to nail the guy."

"Jay, breath. We have him. There's no way Voight is going to let him walk. And he will get what he has coming to him."

"It's not going to help the kids though."

"We are going to get justice for those kids. And make sure he can't harm any more kids," Hailey reminds him.

"Yeah, but they lost their childhood," Jay whispers sadly.

Not knowing what to say, Hailey just rubs his arm as they walk back out to her jeep; hoping that her action tells him what she can't put into words.

It takes the unit another three hours after Hailey and Jay get back from their coffee run before they are able to get their confession.

Voight looks at his unit from the doorway to his office, seeing the looks of exhaustion of his team's face. "Paperwork can wait until tomorrow," Voight decides, knowing that they aren't going to focus on their reports.

A chorus of "Thanks Sarge," echoed the bullpen before the sound of computers shutting down for the night.

"Anyone up for Molly's?" Ruzek asks the group walks past the desk to the front doors of the district. "I need a drink."

"I'm going to pass," Jay answers.

"Sorry, Adam," Hailey adds knowing she has a better chance of getting Jay to talk if it was just the two of them.

Kim, Vanessa, and Kevin agree to meet at Molly's while Hailey convinces Jay to meet at her place.

Jay reluctantly follows Hailey in his truck, knowing if he ditched her, she would just show up at his place. "You know that I just wanted to go home and get drunk," Jay questions Hailey as they walk into her house.

"I know, but I know this case has been bothering you."

"I really don't want to talk about it."

"I know, but you shouldn't be getting drunk alone," Hailey tells him as she grabs the whiskey.

"Thanks," Jay whispers when she hands him the glass, thanking her for both the drink and not prying for information.

"You know that I'm here– if you want to talk?" Hailey asks.

Jay's only response was to nod.

The two sit in silence at Hailey's island for two more hours before she decides to cut him off. Hailey knows better than letting Jay drive home, so she makes up the couch for him.

Hailey texts Vanessa to let her know that Jay was crashing on the couch before going to bed herself.

Vanessa walks into the house just past midnight, being careful not to wake the sleeping former Ranger. As she walks past the living room, she can hear snoring coming from the couch.

Bypassing the living room, Vanessa goes up the stairs and to her room.

At three in the morning, Hailey wakes up needing something to drink. She gets up and quietly goes down the stairs, not wanting to wake the light sleeper on the couch.

As she fills her glass with water, she can hear a quiet whimper from the couch. Forgetting about her water, Hailey goes to check on Jay.

Walking up to the couch, Hailey finds Jay curled up in as much of a ball as his tall frame allows. Tears streaming down his face, Hailey can hear him repeatedly saying no and stop.

Hearing her partner cry out, Hailey's heart drops for the emotional pain that he is in. Carefully, Hailey approaches him.

"Jay," she whispers. "Jay, wake up. It's okay, you're okay," she continues while rubbing his arm gently trying to wake him.

Jay moans, digging. His head further into the pillow, his cries getting louder every time.

"Jay, it's Hailey. You're safe, you're in Chicago."

After what feels like forever, Hailey is able to wake Jay.

"Hailey what's going on?" he asks groggily.

"I think you were dreaming," Hailey answers.

"Hailey is everything okay?" Vanessa asks tiredly coming down the stairs.

"Yeah, go back to bed," Hailey answers. She waits until she hears Vanessa's door shut before turning her attention back to Jay. "Do you know where you are?"

"Chicago on a couch," Jay answers.

"Good, do you remember crashing at my place?"

"No."

"It's okay. We had a rough case and you had a lot to drink so you stayed on the couch," Hailey tells Jay, watching as he nods showing that he is with her. "I'm going to get you something to drink," Hailey tells him, not giving him a chance to deny her.

Hailey grabs a second glass and fills it before going back out to Jay. "Here," she hands him the glass wanting him to drink.

"Thanks."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"These cases affect you differently than the other ones."

"We all have those cases that get to us."

"I know, but it gets to you more than the rest of the team's 'those' cases."

"Did I ever tell you about my high school girlfriend's little brother?"

"No," Hailey whispers, not knowing what to say so Jay doesn't shut down on her.

"His name was Ben. And he was eight-years-old when he was raped and murdered by a pedophile. It took seven years before his parents were able to get closure. I was a patrol officer when I found his body in a park."

"I think that it's more than that. You were talking in your sleep," Hailey tells him. It was like you were the one who was being abused."

Jay doesn't say anything.

"Did someone ever touch you?"

"You can't tell anyone," Jay answers, confirming her thoughts.

"Who was it?"

"You can't tell anyone."

"Jay, whoever hurt you could still be hurting other kids."

"No, he can't. He died ten years ago."

"Jay talk to me," Hailey whispers.

"I can't."

"You can."

"You can't tell anyone. People already think I'm damaged."

"You're not damaged."

"I have PTSD and I was molested. I am damaged"

"Yes. You have PTSD and you were molested, but that doesn't make you damaged," Hailey tells him while pulling him into a hug.

"You can't tell anyone. No one knows."

"Okay, I won't tell anyone. But you can talk to me about anything- you're my best friend."

"I can't. You'll leave because I'm fucked up."

"I'm not leaving. I promise."

"I don't feel like talking right now," Jay tells her.

"Okay. Why don't you lay down, it's late… or early," Hailey tells him.

Jay looks at her as if he is trying to decide if she's telling the truth.

Hailey more to a more comfortable position, "Lay down," she tells him, pulling him down so his head is resting on her lap. She runs her hand through his hair trying to settle him down.

Hailey falls asleep soon after she knows Jay is out.

"What's going on here?" Vanessa asks when she walks down the stairs the next morning.

"Shh," Hailey shushes her. "He had a rough night," she tells her as she tries to slip out from under Jay's head.

"Want to talk?"

"No, it's Jay's decision not mine," Hailey answers while starting the coffee.

Jay chooses that moment to walk into the kitchen.

"What are you talking about?" he asks.

"Don't worry about it," Hailey tells him.

"Hailey?" Jay asks.

"It's nothing," Hailey reinforces before pulling him out the door with travel coffee mugs.

The day turns into a paperwork day. The team is mostly silent as they are still thinking about the kids they weren't able to save.

Getting ready to leave at the end of the day, Jay pulls Hailey to the side. "Can you stop by my place?"

Knowing that it took Jay a lot to ask that, she agrees immediately. Hailey follows Jay in her own car, mentally preparing herself for what the conversation might hold.

Arriving at his apartment building, they walk to his unit in silence.

Leading Hailey to his couch, Jay stares straight ahead saying, "It was my hockey coach."

"Jay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to or aren't ready to."

"No. I need to."

"Okay. Take all the time you need."

"When I was a sophomore, I joined the hockey team. It was fine at first, but after a while, the coach started acting differently towards me and some of the others. I caught him staring at some of the other guys on the team sometimes. Half-way through the season, he started cornering me after practice," Jay takes a breath.

"Take your time."

"One day, he called me into his office. Told me that if I wanted to be a better player, I should do what he said. He touched me. It was over my clothes, but still…"

"Jay, that doesn't matter. It was still wrong."

"I know that– now. But as a kid, you don't think that. But, uh, he would keep me after practice and give me 'lessons'."

"Why did he do that to me? Why- how could anyone do that to a kid?" Jay asks.

"Because they are sick and don't deserve to be a part of society."

"How did he get away with it?"

"Di-have you ever thought about talking to someone? It sounds like there's still a lot you're trying to work through."

"No, and I don't want anyone to find out."

"If you talked to someone, they wouldn't be able to tell anyone. Confidentiality."

"I'd rather not."

"Okay, you know I'm here for you? Doesn't matter what time it is."

"Thanks, I need a drink. Do you want something?" Jay asks wanting to change the subject.

"Whatever you're having."

"What's going on with you?" Will asks when Jay finally answers his door.

"What do you mean?" Jay answers with his own question.

"You've been acting different for weeks now," Will tells him.

"I'm fine."

"Jay, you may be a detective, but I'm still your older brother. I can tell when you're lying to me."

"It's nothing."

"Hailey told me you had a rough case."

Jay turns towards his brother so fast he gives himself whiplash.

"Relax, Jay. She didn't tell me anything, just that you took it harder than normal."

"The case involved kids."

"It's always hard when it involves kids," Will acknowledges from his own line of work.

"It was a pedophile."

"Did you get him?"

"Yeah, it just brought up some things."

"What things?"

"Just thing."

"What things."

"Things that if I tell you, you will look at me differently?"

"You're my brother. Nothing will change that."

"I told Hailey. I don't know if I'm ready to tell someone else."

"Okay. But you know I'm here?"

"Yeah," Jay responds. "You should leave, I'm kinda tired. I just want to go to bed."

"You can go to bed, but I'm not leaving."

"There's no changing your mind, is there?"

"No. You know I love you, little brother? Nothing will change that."

"Yeah, you know where the blankets are."

Will wakes up just past midnight to the sound of retching. Knowing that it has to be Jay, Will is up and going towards the sound before he was fully awake.

Walking into the bathroom, he finds Jay leaning over the toilet. "Hey, you're okay," he comforts as he rubs his brother's back.

"Go 'way," Jay mumbles in between heaves.

"Not happening," Will tells him. "You don't feel warm," he comments feeling Jay's head.

"I don't feel sick."

"Uh-huh, sure," Will agrees.

"It was just a dream."

"A dream that literally made you sick."

"Can we skip the lecture?"

"Jay, I'm worried."

"Don't be."

"This isn't healthy."

"I just want to forget about it."

"Forget about what?"

Jay remains silent.

"Here, drink this," Will hands Jay a cup of water, "You're clammy."

Jay listens to Will, drinking the water. "Ready to talk?" Will asks. Jay looks at Will with a puppy look. "No getting out of it."

"Can we at least move somewhere else?"

"Do you think you're done?" Will asks motioning to the toilet.

"Yeah."

"Okay, come on," Will helps Jay up and the go out to the couch.

"Do you remember the hockey coach at the high school?" Jay asks when they make it to the couch.

"Yeah, he was a bit weird."

"He was doing things to some of the guys on the team. And about half-way through the season, he a started doing things to me, too."

"'Things'," Will questions, knowing what is next but not wanting a confirmation.

"He was molesting us– me," Jay confirms, not looking Will in the eye.

Hearing this Will pulls Jay into an embrace, "I'm not leaving, you're okay. I got you."

Hearing this is a relief to Jay but is still afraid that his brother will think differently of him. "I didn't want to. I'm not gay," Jay mumbles.

"I know. You did nothing wrong; it's all on him."

"I couldn't stop him."

"I know. If he wasn't already dead, I would kill him myself," Will tells him.

"You probably shouldn't tell that to a cop," Jay tries to joke.

"I know someone who can get me out of trouble," Will jokes.

They remain silent for a few minutes before Jay starts to drift off. "Hey, why don't you go back to bed?"

Jay nods, before hooking to Will. "I'll be right here," he reassures.

"You're staying?"

"I am," he promises. "Get me if you need anything."

A/N: Hey, all. Sorry, this is late, it is once again the end of the semester for me so I'm just behind. Good news is both "R" and "S" are both complete. I might go back and do some editing before publishing them, but they are basically ready to be posted. When I first started this idea of A to Z, "Q" was going to be "Quarantine" but sure to recent events, I didn't think that was appropriate.

So I have three questions for you all. The first one is for veteran users. I've been on this site for about five and a half years, but have only been writing for nine months. My question is: If I change my penname will that affect people who have me on author alert getting e-mails? I only ask, because I never liked my penname and recently created an AO3 account under a different name and want to change this so they are the same. (I will be putting my stories on AO3 as well once I get a chance).

My second question is for English as a Second/Other Language Readers. Does it bother you if I am answering a question for you, I greet or have part of the response in your language? I only know basic Spanish and French, but I try to use what I know to make it slightly easier for you, even if that means translating tow or three fewer words. I from the US, so unfortunately I've never learned another language fluently, so I don't know what is the proper way to respond.

My last question is for those of you who use Celsius. Does putting the conversions in a note at the bottom work? I'm trying to add them the best way I can without disturbing the flow of the chapter.

Comments:

Heartofwaldorf- Chapter 16- hey! thank you for your chapter :) / when using Celsius, we usually cut off like this: / from .00 to .49 to the number below / from .05 to .099 to the number above. / For example: / 38.73 we cut off to 38.7 / 38.78 we cut off to 38.8 / I hope my explanation is clear for you :)

Response- Merci beaucoup! Your explanation was very clear. So as of right now, the conversions are off a little bit, I will let you all know when they are fixed, either in an author's note or in the summary for the actual story.

asian-ninja- Chapter 15- Aw, an Upstead cuddle! Now that Hailey knows that Jay has asthma, she will for sure always have one of his inhalers on her just in case. I'm imagining that she's decorated it with sparkly stickers because why not? Teehee :)

asian-ninja- Chapter 16- I guess a part of me is glad "P is for Pertussis?" I was wondering if it was going to be poison ivy or something like that with Jay trying to take on nature yet again and going 0 for 3 (cause really, it sounds like something he would do). Now I'm trying to guess what 'Q' will be. Q for "Quilt" perhaps? Jay goes toe to toe with a deadly, handmade blanket! And unsurprisingly things do not end well for him. Hmmm, yeah, Q should definitely be for "Quilt." ;)

Response- I love your reviews. Reading both of them made me laugh in a good way.

Be safe and stay healthy!